Fiona’s Chapter
Fiona:
It was hard to see where I was going with tears in my eyes.
After I got out of my small neighborhood, I cut through an adjacent one until I was far enough away that I felt I could stop and gather my composure.
I sat there with my head on the steering wheel, drawing in deep breaths as I fought to make the tears stop.
I couldn’t continue if I couldn’t drive.
It took about ten minutes for me to feel okay to drive.
Putting the car in gear, I took off. My anger and hurt over what happened at the house were still there, but I refused to think about it.
I put it in a box and shut the lid. I’d take it out and deal with it later.
Right now, I have a bigger issue. Where to go?
Because one thing was for sure, I wasn’t going back home to deal with Keir and his ugliness. As long as he was there, I wouldn’t be.
While I worked to gain control over my emotions, I thought of where to go.
I wasn’t super close with anyone. I’d always been the closest to my family.
Growing up, there had been no other shifters in my school or our neighborhood.
And there was something like a wall between humans and me, though as I got older, I’d formed casual friendliness with some.
That lack of closeness was stymying me. I didn’t have a girlfriend I could stay with.
I ended up driving around Phoenix aimlessly for an hour before deciding.
I’d find a cheap hotel and get a room for the night.
It would give me time to think things through and calm myself.
If I had to face Keir again, which was likely, I needed to be in a better frame of mind.
I’d work to show him I wanted nothing to do with him and fight, allowing my body to betray my desire for him.
?
I was lying on the bed in the hotel room I found. It wasn’t the nicest room, but it would do. My frugality refused to allow me to pay more. I sent off a text to Granddad five minutes ago. I had no idea whether Keir had told him we fought. I kept it vague and simple.
Me: Granddad, I need time to think. Need to do some deep soul searching. Please, don’t ask me to explain. Just know, I’m safe, and I’ll be back tomorrow. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. Love you.
Granddad: What happened? Brax said you and Keir had a disagreement. Why? Come home. We’ll fix it.
Me: I need to be the one to fix it. I can’t do that around anyone, not family.
I’d miss not getting to know the other Sentinels and their mates better, but so what? It wasn’t as if we’d see each other again after this problem in Phoenix was resolved. Better not to get close. There was a long silence, then another message came.
Granddad: I want you home, but I won’t insist. Just be careful and come to the house as soon as you can. Love you.
Me: TY. I love you, too.
My next endeavor was to find out whether anyone would work my shift tomorrow.
Last night, I got no reply from Daniel when I turned over the onus to him to fill the shift.
And earlier today, the same thing, no answer.
I hated not knowing if he wasn’t answering intentionally, or if he hadn’t read it.
I hadn’t sent it with a read receipt. A chime less than thirty seconds later made me look at my phone.
I anticipated it was Granddad or Gal. I was wrong. It was Keir.
Keir: Fiona, I’m going crazy. Please, come home. I’m sorry. I let my temper get the best of me. We need to talk this through.
I wanted to remain silent, but my anger wouldn’t allow it.
Me: I have nothing to say to you.
Keir: I know that’s not true.
I let the silence stretch. Two minutes later, the phone rang. Checking it, I saw it was Keir’s number. We exchanged them in case of an emergency. Anger flared, and before I thought better of it, I answered.
“Don’t call me,” I snapped.
“Fiona, please, listen. I’m sorry. Where are you? I'll escort you home.”
Lashing out, I said the first hurtful thing that came to mind. “I’m busy. Stop bugging me.”
“Busy doing what?” he asked.
“What you told me I should do. I should thank you for the suggestion. Eithan is more than I ever imagined,” I said in a sultry voice, then I disconnected. He called back in seconds. I ignored him. Not wanting to deal with more harassment, I shut off my phone.
With a groan, I got off the bed and headed into the bathroom.
I’d stopped at a store to grab the essentials and bought the cheapest things I could find.
Maybe a hot shower would help me not feel so achy.
Inside, I turned on the shower and then stripped off my clothes.
I stepped under the water and let the heat pour down over me.
Twenty minutes later, lying back on the bed in my purchased nightgown, I kept my phone turned off.
Instead, I tried to distract myself by watching television.
After two hours of either mindless channel surfing or staring blindly at a show, I turned it off.
Then, I let myself remember what Keir said.
When he told me he knew I was hiding something because he smelled it, and immediately asked if I only wanted to fuck him or more, I’d felt like he slapped me.
When he asked if I wanted Eithan, because he was the sort of man/relationship I desired, why wasn’t I in his bed, I got madder.
It had hurt, and that hurt instantly flipped to anger. I lashed out.
Keir’s response had driven my pain and fury deeper.
His assertion that he would’ve had me on my hands and knees from day one if all he wanted was sex.
That he wouldn’t have bothered to get to know my family or me.
His confidence that he could have forced me to submit.
And as a shifter, I wouldn’t have been able to resist, and he’d be inside of me right then, compounded it. His crudeness angered me more.
When I went to leave, and he stopped me, I lashed out, not even consciously shifting my hand into a claw. It wasn’t until after I slashed his cheek and then kneed him in the balls that it registered. However, I refused to stay and listen to more, so I left.
The truth was, I’d never been like so many shifters I knew.
They allowed their baser, animal passions to drive them.
They hopped from person to person, having sex and taking nothing seriously, until they decided to claim a mate.
Even that wasn’t a foregone conclusion that they’d be faithful.
If they settled and chose someone merely to have a mate or kids, most would stray.
Without love, there was no reason to be loyal.
I've seen it happen many times. The only ones who didn’t act that way were those who were true mates.
I felt old-fashioned and even more removed from my peers, as if I needed something more to put further distance between us. Or another reason to be mocked and laughed at. Having Keir basically doing it, too, had gutted me. He made me sound na?ve and stupid.
At the end of the day, I wanted someone special in my life.
To have what Granddad and Grandma had. You never doubted that they loved each other and were faithful.
Neither looked at others in a sexual way.
The old saying that they had eyes only for each other was true.
Clearly, they, my parents and grandparents, were the exception, not the norm.
At that thought, I buried my face in my pillow and let the tears come.
I sobbed and soaked it. I screamed into it and beat the mattress with my fist. God, please let the Sentinels all return home to California.
As my emotions raged, Danu remained quiet for once, not defending Keir and his leopard.
Hopefully, she caught a clue. Our leopards might mate for life, but I doubted they felt love.