Chapter 9
I woke up after a horrible night’s sleep with a headache. My eyes were dry and scratchy. The clock showed it was seven thirty in the morning. Knowing there was no use trying to sleep more, I got up. I washed my face, brushed my teeth and hair, then got dressed.
Only then did I turn my phone back on. Numerous dings chimed out as texts and voicemails registered. I scanned the texts and saw they were mainly from Keir or one of the other Sentinels, even Cerys and Akiva. I didn’t intentionally try to read Keir’s, but a few were hard to miss.
Keir: Answer the phone!
Keir: I’m coming for you.
Keir: You’d better not be in his bed.
Keir: If he’s fucked you, he’s dead.
I skipped the longer ones to read the ones from Granddad and Gal.
Granddad: Fiona, Keir told us you two had words. I want to hear your side. But that can wait. I need to make sure you’re still alright.
Gal: Fi, I’m sorry that you’re hurting. Granddad is scared. Let us know you’re safe. And if you want me to punch in Keir’s face, I’ll do it.
I laughed at the thought of the still-growing and bulking-up Gal pairing off against Keir. No, if Keir needed to be punched in the face, I’d handle it myself.
There was a voice message from each of them saying the same thing. I sent them a joint text.
Me: I’m sorry. I needed to think and rest. I couldn’t do it with the phone chiming and ringing. I’m safe. I’ll be home later. I’ve got my gun. Don’t worry about me. Love you.
I ignored the voicemails—one from Brax, Gunnar, and Fennick, and five from Keir.
Gathering my small amount of new belongings and yesterday’s dirty clothes in the shopping bag I had, I checked out of the hotel. I went to the nearest coffee shop and ordered a venti coffee and a breakfast sandwich. I didn't have dinner last night. I was starving.
As I’d gotten ready, I knew I had to make a stop. I’d sent off a message to check if I could. As I started my car, the phone pinged with an incoming reply. Cautiously, I glanced at my phone in case it was Keir again. It wasn’t. It was the one I awaited. It was an invitation.
Twenty-six minutes later, I pulled up to my destination.
It was an apartment complex. It was a newer one, which indicated those living there made at least a decent living.
It wasn’t super fancy or had tons of amenities, but the outside was well-kept.
Before getting out, I checked myself in the mirror.
I was paler than usual, and there were light, bruise-like circles under my eyes.
I dug into my purse, finding the small makeup bag I carried with me.
A bit of concealer, a couple of coats of mascara, and lipstick that I used not only on my lips but as rouge on my cheeks made me look less like the walking dead.
Getting out, I went in search of the apartment number I’d been sent.
It didn’t take long to figure out which way to go, and I was outside the correct door. I knocked.
I don’t believe it was even thirty seconds before I heard the sound of a lock being turned, then the click of the handle, before the door swung wide. Standing there with a puzzled expression was the last person I would’ve thought I’d be seeking out.
“What the hell is going on? Get in here.”
I slowly entered. The door was closed and locked, and then my hand was taken.
“Come here. You look beat. Can I get you some coffee? Have you eaten?” Eithan asked as I let him lead me to his living room. He indicated the couch. As I sat, he took up the spot next to me.
I didn't know where else to go. And even though he was giving me a share of uncomfortable feelings, I knew he cared about me. I couldn’t afford to lose the one person whom I saw as a friend.
Plus, I needed to clear the air with him about my feelings, our friendship, and Keir.
There was no need to pretend I had a boyfriend anymore.
“Thanks for letting me come over. And no, I don’t need coffee. I had a venti cup on my way here. I won’t stay long. I have no doubt you have plans. I wanted to clear the air about something, and it’s not a topic I want to discuss at work.”
“I don’t have any plans, so stay as long as you wish. What topic?” he asked.
“It’s about the other night at the restaurant, and when you saw Keir for the first time. I want to apologize.”
“Apologize for what?” Eithan asked, frowning.
“For lying to you. I told you Keir is my boyfriend. He’s not.
He’s here helping out my family with something, but that’s all.
Two weeks ago, he was a stranger. I told you that lie because I knew you felt more than friendship for me.
I didn’t want to talk about feelings. I thought you and he would never meet, and he wouldn’t know what I said.
After he left, once his reason for being here in Phoenix was gone, I’d tell you we broke up if it became necessary.
Then you came over to meet him the next time he picked me up.
It got out of hand. I wish I’d never told you that lie.
I’m sorry for misleading you because I was a coward.
I understand if you can’t be my friend any longer,” I finished.
Eithan was quiet for over a minute, almost two, studying me before he responded. I met his gaze and worked not to squirm.
“I do like you, Fiona, and I believe we could have something good together if given a chance. I wish you hadn’t felt the need to tell me a falsehood.
The thought of you with Keir has been eating at me.
I want to be your man. I got angry every time I imagined you and him together.
However, I don’t want this to ruin our friendship.
The truth is out there. You know what I want.
But I believe you owe me the chance to explain myself fully. Will you allow me to do that?”
As uncomfortable as it made me, I owed him at least that. I nodded. “Okay, go ahead, tell me.”
“I’ve always thought you were beautiful, from day one.
However, I didn’t jump to the automatic conclusion that I should try to be with you because I’m an adult.
It takes more than looks for me to want to sleep with someone.
I’m no longer a teenager. A month later, I knew there was more to you than your looks.
You’re smart, kind, generous, giving, and more.
Those were qualities I wanted in someone, but we’d already started to become friends.
I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. What if you refused to remain my friend?
It wasn’t worth the risk. I’d take you; however, you gave yourself to me.
“But as the months went by, I grew more and more certain of my feelings, and they grew. I wasn’t merely thinking of possible girlfriend material when it came to you.
I saw my wife. I kept fighting it, but it was hard not to let my regard show.
When you told me Keir was your boyfriend, it was a punch to the stomach.
I was pissed at myself for never telling you the truth until it was likely too late.
However, I was wrong. I need to ask you to give me a chance, Fiona.
Even if you feel we can’t be together, why not try?
See if you can fall in love with me. I will give you the world if you’ll allow it. ”
My chest hurts. God, he was so earnest, and I swore what I saw in his eyes was love.
Why couldn’t I say yes? It was stupid to hold back when there was no chance for Keir and me.
Maybe I should take what I could get rather than push Eithan away for the unlikely dream that a fated mate was out there for me.
“Eithan, I apologize for lying and hurting you. I never wanted to do that to you. There are several traits about you that I find on my list of what I want in a life partner. However, the big issue is the notion of sex. No, you’re not sexually repulsive to me.
I just don’t find myself overcome with sexual feelings for you.
The last thing I want to do is lead you on and then hurt you. ”
“Have you always been overwhelmed with sexual desire for the guys you’ve been with in the past? Because if you haven’t, then I say, what do we have to lose?”
I opened my mouth to confess to him about my past when there was a pounding on the door.
It was so loud I swore the door was lucky not to be beaten off its hinges.
I swung to look at it, as if that would tell me who was on the other side.
My heart skipped. No, it couldn’t be, I thought.
That wasn’t Keir. I jumped when another thundering pounding sound came, and on the heels of it was a voice.
“Fiona, I know you’re in there. Open this goddamn door right this second. I’m not leaving. And don’t think about bringing the law into it. This is between you, me, and your so-called friend,” Keir thundered.
Eithan came to his feet. His face flushed with anger. He scowled.
“You stay here. I’ll deal with the bastard,” he muttered.
I snagged his hand. “Please, don’t answer. He’ll go away if we ignore him,” I assured him, even though I lied.
Keir would leave only when he was good and ready. I knew that as sure as I knew my name and the fact that my whole body flushed with awareness even though I was upset with the Sentinel.
Eithan gave me a tender, reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, babe. I can more than handle him.” With that assurance, he removed my hand and walked to the door. I steeled myself for what was coming.