XVIII
A skip in his step, James found and dragged a loose maid along with him to set up the bath, the woman getting caught up in their storm.
Alex was silent behind him, giving only short answers when spoken to, but it didn't dampen James' spirits.
He couldn't tell if he was thrilled from his sparring or because of the company.
It was inevitable that James would feel out of sorts after seeing the same person so often when he was so used to being alone.
For him, a conversation was a passing exchange with a stranger, never a recurring pleasure.
His throat was sore from speaking so much over the last few days and he looked forward to seeing Alex again every time, it was a treat.
It was like getting a taste of sugar after years without, he kept wanting another lick.
He now understood why his mentor tried to remain as emotionally distant from him as possible, it too was addicting to let go of; too colourful and delightful.
The maid beckoned some other servants to help assist them as they went.
Although the palace had running water, it still had to be heated elsewhere.
James was used to bathing in icy temperatures and wouldn't have minded too much, but it would have looked strange if he'd stopped them and said; 'actually, no, don't give me warm water, I want my skin to turn blue'.
They set him up in his ensuite, the water steaming and smelling like some kind of flower, the aroma perfectly tailored to be pleasant but not feminine.
The maids had dumped all sorts of petals in the tub.
James frowned and reached into the water, pulling out a twig.
He had no idea why half that stuff was in there but he thanked them nonetheless.
Alex impressed James. James was deliberately being provocative and if he hadn't been constantly searching for signs of discomfort of the man, he wouldn't have found any.
"Don't you knights all share the same bath between a dozen of you?" James asked wryly as he got undressed. The maids had all left and Alex was leaning against the wall on the other side of the doorway, leaving the door wide open and a shoulder in view.
"You're the king's guest, how could I watch?"
It was a good excuse, James had to admit.
"I thought you had to keep an eye on me at all times. You shouldn't trust me enough to spare me privacy." James warned him, he meant it.
"I trust my ability, not you."
He wasn't sure why Alex was so skittish and cagey about their mutual attraction. Sure, the revelation had come as a surprise to James himself, but it wasn't world-ending. It certainly wasn't something to repress himself over, Alex's behaviour was too tempting for James not to poke havoc.
James allowed himself to sink in the water, sighing in pleasure.
He'd forgotten what a hot bath felt like, the smooth cocoon easing the tension in his muscles.
He couldn't let himself get too comfortable with those small luxuries.
A wolf doesn't yearn to be a dog for as long as it avoids humans.
Knowing what comfort he could have would only make him feel dissatisfied once he returned to the streets.
Amusingly for him, he saw Alex tense at the pleased groans he made, so he made a few more.
What was the point in having Alex around if not to wind him up?
"So, what did you want to ask me?" James enquired, in good humour.
"I want to know why you took the kid to Talum."
James probably shouldn't have felt surprised that that was Alex's first question, for some reason he assumed Alex would start with unravelling James' identity. Still, it was like Alex to be concerned like that.
"His eyes were red, like mine." James admitted, "I would have taken him to the knights, but I didn't— for obvious reasons."
Alex mumbled gruffly to himself, something that James didn't catch.
"Okay, my turn." James hummed.
Alex's frame stiffened only slightly.
James thought carefully. Truthfully, he'd already worked out everything there was to know about Alex in his head.
He was the adopted son of the duke, but their relationship was poor.
What kind of loving father hits their son or demands they address them informally?
He supposed the duke must have had a reason for having Alex, but whether Alex knew what that was or not was unknown and there was little benefit in asking.
There was a lot James wanted to know about Alex, but the answers wouldn't come from posing the questions, only from observation.
Then again, no one said their questions had to be about the other person.
"If you were suddenly offered a position you didn't want, but would give you more power, would you take it?"
A beat of hesitation passed. "Are you sure that's the question you want to ask me?"
"Yep."
James absent-mindedly pushed the water around with his hands, moving the petals floating on top, watching them keep balance.
These were the kinds of questions he would normally ask Eris— even if she never replied with words, he still got a sense of what she thought.
Perhaps Alex could make a good replacement for the time being.
There was silence as the question was chewed over.
"In this situation, why don't I want the position?" Alex asked. "You said it would give me power, right?"
James tilted his head. Why? Indeed...
Even if James didn't enjoy murdering people, he would be lying if he claimed the power he had over others never felt good. Like when he sparred with the knights, he relished in the pleasure of knowing he was the one that had physical authority, he revelled in it.
James' goal had always been to clean up the streets, fix things where the managers of the country failed— that was also power.
But, he knew overhauling his issues from the inside was the only way to make a real difference; he was just putting bandages on the wounds instead of confiscating the sword.
Why did the thought rack him with anxiety?
Maybe his arrogance was to blame. It was easier to point and blame his brother for those problems, knowing he had nothing to do with it, than trying and failing in repairing it himself. He ran away from reality, by nature; that was how he survived.
If he didn't even know the reason himself, how could he possibly put it into words?
"Let's discount that question," James said, "it can be your turn again."
He could see Alex turn his chin slightly, he wasn't looking at James behind him but was leaning that way.
"Okay. Why are you obsessed with that sword? You've essentially chained yourself here for as long as they don't give it back to you."
James knew he was being played. As long as James wasn't a hundred and ten percent dedicated to their plan, they were never going to give Eris back— she was a means for control for them. It was possible Alex was kindly trying to hint this to him but he was already very aware.
He leaned back in the bath to dump his hair into the water and finish washing up. The steam was becoming stuffy.
Being in this palace was turning James stupid; why was he playing nice with them when they weren't playing nice with him? Playing nice was never James' style, perhaps that's why he was at a disadvantage at that moment, he wasn't his normal self.
Talking with Alex was beneficial after all.
"This may not be surprising," James started, sitting back up, "but I don't have a family, nor do I have friends.
They all died a long time ago. Eris is the only one who won't eventually do the same.
Plus, I don't know how much you know about relics, but she could have left me at any time if she wanted.
I received her when I had power but she stayed with me when I lost it. She's a precious friend."
If that put James in a difficult position, then so be it. Eris was worth every obstacle he had to scale.
"I see." Alex muttered.
James stood, the water rolling off him like a heavy blanket, the splashing reverberating off hard terracotta tiles. Being careful not to slip, his feet made wet paddling noises as he wandered over to take a folded towel from the basin shelf, the material soft to touch.
"It's your turn." Alex reminded James when he said nothing.
He still didn't respond and focused on wiping the water off his body. They had also given him a dressing robe to wear, but he scoffed at the idea. A neat little idea popped into his head just then.
Leaving the towel over his shoulders, he strolled out of the bathroom, past Alex, entirely undressed. He didn't miss the hitch of Alex's surprised breath, nor did he miss Alex avoiding looking at him.
Alex remained at the bathroom door as James walked around, his face and gaze resolutely trained off to the side, his jaw and shoulders tense. His body was still, like moving was dangerous.
"You've seen me naked before." James pointed out, pleased.
Alex's nose and ears flared pink, and his cheeks darkened a tone.
James couldn't help but stare, he normally couldn't tell when someone was blushing, perhaps it was easy for him to see Alex's because it was tonal rather than colourful.
It was pretty, unlike the gruff bundle of masculinity that was Alex.
"I don't have any more questions for you." James told him, unable to drag his eyes away, "So, it stops here."
Alex looked at him then, about to protest, and then quickly reverted his gaze back once again, realising his mistake. He pulled and fiddled with the collar of his shirt. James grinned.
"You can hardly call two questions a conversation." Alex grumbled.
James could feel the stress niggling at Alex in waves and decided to pity the man.
He didn't want Alex to break his teeth with the force he was clenching them.
At the very least, he slid on the cream cotton trousers he was provided.
Alex must have heard the rustle because he relaxed slightly, though still unsure as to what to do with himself.
"We could change the price, then." James suggested, brushing his wet hair out his face. He stood in front of Alex, crossing his arms.
"Why does there have to be a price at all?" Alex questioned, pushing away from the wall.
James blinked slowly. "Nothing is free." He said it like it was obvious.
Alex let out a frustrated breath, scratching at his shoulder. He glared at James. "You treat a conversation like an act of bartering or a battle of dominance."
James frowned. "That's not true."
"Yes. Yes, it is."
James took a step closer. "We both have something the other person wants, this is how we should communicate."
Alex leaned forward into James' space. "And that's not bartering?"
James turned his nose up, not having any comeback to that.
"I reckon the price should be a kiss." James suggested, steering the conversation straight. "I'll answer any question in exchange for a kiss."
Alex didn't fluster or appear embarrassed like James expected him too, instead he was increasingly irritated, much to James' confusion.
"That's both." Alex growled. "That was both bartering and an attempt at dominance, you want to humiliate me."
"That's not—"
James flailed as Alex grasped both his arms firmly and thrusted him against the wall, rough palms scorching against his skin.
He winced from the tinge of pain in his shoulders but was unable to react before Alex slammed and sealed their lips together.
Alex stroked one hand up the back of his neck and into his hair, grabbing a handful and pulling it downwards so James' mouth gasped open, his neck was exposed.
Alex took the opportunity to snake his tongue in, devouring him, a groan escaping him.
James was prepared to fight back but Alex beat him to it, pressing his body into James to wedge him in place. Trapped, James got swept away and kissed him back, the friction delicious, arousal building in his gut. James wanted to touch him.
Before he got the opportunity, a sharp sting bit his bottom lip and Alex tore himself away, leaving James' body cold and waiting, his mouth tasting like iron, his mind bewildered.
Alex looked sexy standing there, his convictions firm. He looked James up and down with lust-darkened eyes, his tongue tracing his lips like he was trying to remind himself how James tasted. James watched every moment, swallowing thickly.
"Who's humiliated now?" Alex rumbled, his voice a thick growl with a hint of smugness that felt like a wash of cold water had been dumped all over him.
Fuck.
"I'm not embarrassed." James insisted, his chest inflamed with annoyance. It pissed him off that Alex got the better of him. "I'm the one who suggested it."
"Is that so?"
James pushed past Alex, knocking his shoulder into him as he stomped to get his shirt from the bed. His face felt as hot as his body and he suddenly wanted to cover himself, self-conscious.
He'd taken notice of Alex's intimidating size before but it was only more evident once he was pressed up against it, chest to chest. The height difference was small but it was Alex's musculature that made him such an oppressive presence.
What was scarier was that Alex knew exactly how to use it; it wasn't going to waste.
"Are you a nobleman?" Alex asked him.
James' mind was still a pace behind. "What?"
Alex looked completely unbothered, which only bothered James more.
"My question. I paid, didn't I? It's your turn to pay me back."
"Yes. I'm noble-born." James snapped. "That's pretty obvious though, you wasted a question."
"It wasn't a waste. I got two treats for the price of one."
James flipped him the finger, for a lack of a better response.
He thought that perhaps sitting down would help the blood flow to his head, so he fell back onto the sofa, lounging lazily like his heart wasn't racing like the hooves of a hundred galloping horses.
Alex took a seat on the chair opposite, maybe lightly flushing in a colour that James couldn't see.
He despised his impairment.
"You must have been high enough that my dad and the king recognised you." Alex remarked. He was blinking more frequently than normal, James recognised the shielded nervousness. Perhaps he wasn't as unbothered as he pretended.
"You'll have to pay for another question."
"It wasn't a question." Alex stated, "It was an observation. You knew the royal language, you were recognised by two of the highest men of the land, you can change your accent on a whim, you have noble arrogance flowing in your blood. It screams high-class to me."
James shrugged. "Yeah, what of it? What's your question?"
Alex chuckled softly, shaking his head. "What's with this obsession? I'm not interested in asking any more questions, lay off it."
James brows knitted together, he peered suspiciously at the man opposite. "Why are you still talking to me then?"
"To teach you what a conversation is."
"Don't be condescending with me. I will kill you."
Even if the warning sounded light, it was anything but. Alex held his hands up in surrender, knowing this.
"I'm being sincere. I have to guard you anyhow, in the meantime I want to show you what a stress-free casual conversation looks like."
James hesitated. "I don't know what you want me to say, in that case."
"I can talk instead, then."
"I'm not interested in what you have to say."
Alex had the decency to not roll his eyes at James' bad mood.
"Well, I dug up some information on you." Alex offered, "I can tell you what's in our files..."
That piqued James' interest. He sat up straight, fascinated that Alex would provide such intelligence for free. "Anything of note in there?"
"Yes, actually. I now believe that you target very specific people. You weren't lying when you said you don't target 'innocents', all your victims either had criminal records or dodgy rumours. You're... a much more decent person than I first thought..."
James smiled sadly and shook his head. As much as it felt nice for someone to be giving him some credit, he didn't deserve it.
The white cotton curtains moved with the breeze, the light on Alex's sincere face dimming and brightening. James was fascinated in the way Alex's apple bobbed occasionally, with each swallow.
"I'm... careful," James started, "but I'm not infallible. I would have killed an innocent person at some point," he stared Alex in the eyes, "there's no way I haven't. Don't misunderstand me as a good person."
Alex frowned. "You sound so sure of that."
"I am." James could repeat a few names from the top of his head; people he believed were bad, only to find out he'd been tricked by some scheming shits. He was sure there were more that he didn't know of. He lost any moral right to claim he was just a misunderstood vigilante because of that.
"That's not the only thing I found out." Alex cleared his throat, changing the subject. "You must have been about fourteen-fifteen when you took over as Jay— if you didn't lie to me about your age, that is."
"I didn't lie about that, that part is true. I was fourteen."
Alex's lips were pressed together tightly. "That's... pretty tough."
James snorted, suddenly in good humour. "Life is tough. I didn't have a choice, my mentor was done with it."
"Your mentor?"
James pointed an accusing finger at Alex. "That has a price."
"A kiss?"
James shook his head, grinning. "It's too expensive for a kiss. You'd have to give me something more than that."
Alex shifted uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his neck. James was jealous of that hand, he wanted to touch Alex's neck too, maybe tighten his fingers around it.
"James, I have absolutely no intention of—"
A knock at the door startled the both of them, cutting Alex's sentence short. Alex went to the door to find a new guard to take over, replacing Alex so he could do some work elsewhere.
James knew what Alex was going to say, he'd spent a week with the repressed man who pretended like he'd never felt sexual attraction a day in his life.
Alex wasn't going to fool him, James felt that desperate fervour in their kiss, Alex was starving for it.
For some reason though, Alex was intent on denying himself pleasure and James wanted to know why.
It would have to take a lot of seduction to find out why.