XIX
"I'm in." James lied.
?He stood to the satisfaction of the duke, the king, and his advisor, all huddled in the king's spare office. At this time of night, only the flicker of lamps illuminated the faces that stared up at him, revealing a mix of suspicion and optimism.
?"Life with commoners made me forget who I was." James told them, "I don't fit in down there, never have. I've always craved to get revenge, nothing would be sweeter than taking the thing he wants most away from him."
?Talking with Alex had made him realise he'd been behaving too much like a noble and needed to be dirtier. He would help them coup his brother under the pretence of becoming king and then flee before the time ever came, disappearing like smoke.
?Truthfully, James felt nothing regarding Fabian.
It was strange since he was not a forgiving person, but he supposed that if he had allowed himself to feel even the slightest resentment it would have been so consuming that it would have killed him.
Running away was always easier than allowing the agonising desperation for revenge to devour him.
His survival instincts were too strong to allow that.
?Which was probably why he didn't feel much of anything in general.
?"I'm pleased to hear that." the king told him with a breezy smile. "We've already begun discussing how to approach this with your assistance. It won't be easy."
?"I do have one concern, sire." James advanced.
?"Yes?"
?"I'm still concerned about the timeline of events and the people at play." he admitted. "Fabian was only twelve at the time, even if we believe he was involved, how would a child have been able to orchestrate such a thing? I plead that you consider and investigate this."
?The duke was nodding along as if it was something he had already considered.
"This is something that has baffled me, also.
" the duke agreed. "It's likely Fabian was influenced into this by others as a child.
We need to figure out who the players were and why they wanted your dad, Leo— King Leonardo— gone. "
?No one called out the duke's slip of the tongue. James knew they had been somewhat close— close enough for the duke to share his precious relic collection with the late Ankaid king, which was how Eris ended up in James' hands in the first place.
?James planned to get Eris soon, but it would be suspicious to bring it up right after agreeing to join their conspiracy.
?"The use of arson is also suspicious." Harrison piped in.
?The duke agreed once again. "It would have been completely unnecessary and would have only cost Fabian thousands of pieces out of the treasury. It definitely suggests they were attempting to hide something."
?The king jotted down notes as they came, his old trembling hand scratching firm and strong letters.
?The reality of the situation began to sink in for James. He looked down at his palms.
?These are Julian's hands. I'm Julian.
?It was real. All of it.
?I didn't make it up.
?He'd always let the world just pass him by, time slithering past in a blur, like he'd been in a constant state of dreaming. Suddenly, he was being forced to wake up. His chest began to feel tight.
?Thankfully, he was dismissed soon after, his casual walk becoming more frantic and hurried as reached a pillar outside to lean against it and heave out his last meal, fighting to get it out of him like poison, the taste sour on his tongue.
?Laughter bubbled out of his chest then, he wasn't able to hold it back, spilling out of his lips like his vomit had. No one was around to hear it.
?He looked around and saw nothing, just a dark blur and indistinguishable shapes and confusing lamp glow that had no depth. His useless eyes couldn't tell up from down. It wasn't funny anymore, even if a bitter grimace of a smile stubbornly remained on his face, splitting his lips.
?"Fuck sake." he muttered, his voice shaking in a humour he didnt feel.
?Footsteps approached him from behind and he straightened his spine, his fingers hovering over the blades on his wrists; knives he had swiped and wasn't supposed to have.
?The steps stopped close to him, and he stared out where the person would be, even if he couldn't see them.
?"What do you want?" he asked, having no idea who'd approached him, he couldn't tell which dark shape was the person's silhouette or the background.
?The person said nothing, but James could hear the faint hush of their breathing, in and out, calmly. They said nothing, watching him for a moment, and then moved on, walking away.
?James listened keenly, searing their weight and gait into his mind; definitely male, definitely tall, not elderly nor injured, but no other information than that. The interaction spiked James' nervousness up a notch.
?He rubbed his cheeks, trying to massage his smile away. He needed to get back control, quickly.
? ? ? ?
"Why did you pick Thomas instead of me?"
?Alex sat at his desk, blankly regarding Riley's outburst. The duke had told him to select another guard to escort James somewhere. Where they were going was not yet known to him but Thomas seemed like the most patient man available, so he was perfect for the job.
?"I wouldn't have thought you would have wanted to go." Alex admitted.
?"But why Thomas? I'm way more suitable, I'm good at being persuasive, Thomas would only get on Jay's nerves." Riley waved his hands as he spoke, his nose scrunching and then relaxing, frustrated. It didn't go unnoticed to Alex.
?"That's my concern, not yours."
?Riley thread both hands into his hair, pulling it back. He looked more undone than Alex had ever seen him. Riley was rarely anything other than a composed soldier.
?"Riley... what is it?"
?Riley stared at him, his body perfectly still. Alex could spot the dampness of sweat on his forehead, the nervous pulsing in his throat. Something was making his subordinate severely edgy, like a cornered stray.
?"It's nothing." Riley muttered, at last, bringing his hands down. "I'm sorry for bothering you, Your Lordship. I wish you and Thomas luck."
?The man left Alex's office before he could summon a protest. A bad feeling lingered in his gut.
?Alex hadn't had the opportunity to eat breakfast before he was summoned to the king's office, his stomach audibly complaining as Alex walked through marble corridors.
?Thomas was waiting at the door for Alex, quiet murmurings coming from within the room. He looked a lot less tired than he had before, probably unlike Alex who had yet another sleepless night. Before he knocked, he hesitated, and leaned towards Thomas to whisper.
?"Keep an eye on Riley, something's got him wound up."
?A complicated emotion passed Thomas' face, wincing, but he nodded. Alex wondered if Thomas had already noticed the same thing, perhaps he knew something Alex didn't.
?Once they got let in, Alex was surprised how crowded the room was. James was already there, his eyes rimmed red with exhaustion, standing in front of the king, the duke, Harrison, and most surprisingly, Fletcher was there too.
?"Your Majesty, Your Grace." Alex greeted, for the both of them.
?The king waved away his pleasantries. "I'm glad you both took the time to see us."
?It wasn't like him or Thomas really had a choice in the matter, whether they had the spare time or not.
?Fletcher smiled wide at him, standing next to James. Thomas and Alex came up beside them.
?"May I ask what you need Thomas and I for?"
?His father didn't look too pleased that he posed the question so directly.
?"We need escorts to take Sir Azeus and..." Harrison paused, staring at James, "our guest to the temple of Moira."
?The temple of death?
?"Are you a religious man, James?" King William asked, the name coming out clunky on his tongue.
?James inclined his head in thought for a moment. "Yes, I would say I am."
?Alex had to school his expression; it didn't make sense for James to be religious. It came as a surprise to him. He wondered if it was a lie.
?"This is a secret, so keep it to yourselves, but the Moira temple has the largest historical library in the Kingdom which is why Fletcher is going.
More importantly for you, James, is that the saintess has a relic of her own.
So we'd sent your Eris to her for safekeeping and analysis.
I have no doubt she'll have records about Eris' history that might interest you. "
?It was subtle, but Alex noticed the way James' eyes narrowed and his blinking became deliberately slow. It was probably a change of expression that was imperceptible to others. He wondered what it was; excitement? Offence? Suspicion?
?Despite the exhaustion he wore on his unbothered face, James looked good. The noble suit, clean shaven face, and controlled hair suited him. His eyes stood out like red ink bleeding on a sun-touched blank page.
?You fucking idiot.
?Alex ripped his eyes away. He couldn't believe he was lusting after another man right in front of his dad and the king. Thankfully, seemingly no one had noticed, not even James himself. No doubt his father would be glaring ominous daggers at him if caught.
?For a nobleman to be unmarried by the age of thirty suggested something shameful, it was the first time his race had ever given him an advantage.
People assumed he wasn't married because no woman would tie herself to an Ashadi barbarian, which was better than the reality. He couldn't use that excuse forever.
?The rest of the meeting went through the logistics of the trip, the issue of bandits being brought by his father, much to Alex's surprise.
James had winked at him then, and Alex was glad his dark complexion would hide most of the flustered heat in his face.
Strangely, it seemed James didn't notice it at all.
?Thomas, Alex and Fletcher were dismissed before James, who remained in the room as the rest of them left.
?"Oh my Gods, Lord Alex! How are you?" Fletcher enthused outside.
?Alex chuckled at the young man's enthusiasm.
?"I'm well. How's your brother?"
?"Well, he hurt himself a little in a spat with some Esparians, but more importantly, he's getting married!"
?"Congratulations."
?"Thank you!" Fletcher beamed, his smile brighter than the sky. "On this trip I won't have to worry about bandits, at the very least."
?Thomas gave Alex a confused look.
?"Me and James met him on our way here." he explained, "Bandits got him."
?Thomas' brows knitted together. "All this talk about bandits, I've not heard a thing about them until today."
?Alex chewed the inside of his cheek. "I'm not sure that's accidental." he admitted.
?Thomas tensed, reading the implication behind Alex's words. They shared a serious glance.
?"It certainly gave me some good material." Fletcher went on, in his own world. "My understanding of trauma is a lot richer now, my writing is improving immensely."
?Fletcher was nothing but enthusiastic in optimising his misfortune.
?"I'm glad to hear that." Alex had no idea what else to say.
?"I'll see you two tomorrow, say hi to James for me. I've got a lot to do before we leave."
?Fletcher ran off just like that. Alex envied his energy. He was getting old.
?"Alex."
?Alex turned his attention to his colleague.
?"I thought you might want to know, Riley didn't show up at the dorms last night. I wasn't on duty so I have no idea what went on, but it might be related."
?Alex smiled weakly. "Thank you, Thomas."
?Thomas was one of his only colleagues that took him seriously and didn't gamble his energy in trying to actively disregard or embarass him. That being said, he never pitied him either. Alex was always thankful to him, who kept him in the loop where others didn't.
?The door opened behind them then, James strolled out like he wasn't just talking to the people who could order his death at any time. James was a brave fucker.
?James honed in on him. "How many siblings do you have?"
?"Six." Alex replied, on the beat. "When did you end up on the streets?"
?"Ten."
?Alex nodded. That must have been rough.
?"Spare me." Thomas grumbled, attempting to walk away.
?"You're on babysitting duty now." Alex reminded him. "You can't leave."
?Thomas appeared crestfallen at that. "You don't want to spend some bonding time with him in my stead?"
?"We already have a very strong bond, isn't that right Alex?" James piped in. By this point, both men had learned not to take his words seriously.
?"By the way, I didn't know you were religious." Alex remarked, raising an eyebrow.
?James shrugged. "Yeah, what about it?"
?"Well... I'm just— surprised."
?James looked annoyed at that. "Why is it so surprising? Most people are. It would be more unusual if I wasn't."
?A few locks of golden hair fell over James' forehead as he jutted his jaw in challenge. Alex's hands twitched. He had held that hair the day before, he still remembered how soft it was to touch.
?He cleared his throat. "Well, you're just such a sinful villain that it surprises me you would believe in divine punishment."
?James snorted, crossing his arms. "I never claimed I wouldn't deserve divine punishment. I know what I'm doing, what sins I'm committing. I'm not just going to stop believing for my own convenience."
?"Sure."
?"Are you religious?"
?"No. I'm not." The words came out straight away, there was no need for Alex to think about it.
?Thomas whistled lowly at that, Alex had forgotten the man was there. "Goddamn, you better hope no one else hears you say that. That's pretty shocking that you're a heathen."
?For some reason, it was something he was comfortable with James knowing, but not Thomas. He bristled at his colleague's judgement.
?"Is it really something to get thatjudgemental over?"
?Thomas held up his palms. "Hey, it's not my business. Just saying, others might make it theirs though. I just think there are worse things to be than a heathen."
?"Yeah like a murderer." James mumbled. "Oh wait, you two are."
?"At least we have the moral argument," Alex snapped, "killing can be justified."
?"Oh, I'm sure."
?Alex needed some sleep if he was going to be able to put up with James without snapping; whether his breaking point would lead to him killing or kissing the man was unknown; both possibilities were dangerous.
?He turned and stomped away without even saying goodbye. He could hear James' chuckling echoing behind him.