LIII
Alex had never been the most successful sleeper, nor was James, for a matter of fact. That night, though, Fletcher wasn't either.
?After returning to the inn on a more cheerful note, Fletcher had dedicated himself to listing the suspicious widows from the documents by cross-referencing the two books and considering their estate's wealth.
It was a good thing too, since James refused to do any more work beyond that point, spending the rest of the day napping in his bed.
Alex had then become too distracted to be productive.
?He wanted to sigh. The team was barely being held together with a wispy thread and they were disastrously incompatible at the best of times. Somehow, though, they were progressing.
?Whilst the rest of them tried to sleep, the gentle rustling and murmurs of Fletcher came as a comfort.
Alex kept his eyes closed, patiently waiting for morning.
He didn't hear any groaning from the bed next to him so he knew James must've also been awake.
It was ironic that James had ended up switching places with Fletcher and Riley as the depressed and unmotivated piece of the team, despite his harsh words that morning.
?The bed creaked next to him and Alex ignored it until he heard the floorboards splinter right next to him.
?He panicked but remained still, his heart racing. What did James want with him?
?After a moment, the bed creaked again, James returning, and Alex relaxed.
?It wasn't until dawn broke, when Alex had finally opened his eyes, that he'd noticed the dreamcatcher delicately tied above his head, hanging crudely from a knife in the wall.
? ? ? ?
"Lord Harrison," Alex greeted, watching as the men on horseback approached.
The section of knights pulled their reins, the horses bucking their heads and snorting in complaint.
There were at least six other men accompanying the advisor, all in plain clothes.
It was an excessive number for simple travel.
?Harrison dismounted first, handing off the reins to one of the men to take care of.
?"Lord Alexander," he smiled, shaking Alex's hand.
?"I'm glad to see your journey went well."
?"Well, it was a little more than a journey," Harrison revealed. "But, we can get to that shortly. It would be nice to let these men rest first."
?"Of course," Alex agreed, looking them over.
?He did a doubletake, his eyes widening.
?Seeing that he'd been noticed, one of the men's grins widened, his teeth on display. He jogged up to where Alex stood, bringing him in for a quick but fierce hug, slapping him on the back. Alex was too stunned to react.
?"Colby..."
?"I was starting to forget the sound of your voice," Colby joked, pulling back, keeping a hard hand on Alex's shoulder. "Well, you aren't much of a talker anyway."
?"I'm sure I don't have to remind you both what's confidential, do I?" Harrison asked.
?"Of course not," Alex replied.
?"Ah! And there's the kingdom's future," Colby said, glancing up to where James was perched. "What a cheerful fella."
?Alex spared a glimpse and James was looking down at them in contempt, his expression unimpressed. It was worse than usual, but James had always hated knights.
?"Colby," Harrison warned quietly.
?"No, I know. I know," Colby responded.
?"Would you like to use our room?" Alex asked, pretending not to have witnessed the interaction.
?"This is just a short stop," Harrison informed him, "we have lodgings elsewhere. The grass will be good enough for these men for a little while."
?"Yeah, we're so spoilt," Colby whispered snarkily whilst Harrison was looking away. Alex had to scold his smile.
?"I'll let you two catch up whilst I sort it out," Harrison went on, distracted by what some of the men were doing behind him. "I'll talk to you both tonight."
?"Perfect, thank you."
?Before Harrison walked away, he regarded James for a long pregnant moment, his expression unflinching and blank.
?"Tell your travel companion to cheer up, will you? He looks far too sinister up there."
?Alex's expression was halfway between a wince and a wry smile. "He doesn't take orders, I'm afraid, Harrison."
?Harrison hummed in thought. "No, I suppose he wouldn't. I'll talk to him myself later, then. You two enjoy yourselves."
?Harrison walked off, leaving Alex and Colby to stand witness as the advisor scolded some of the bickering men. The men were shoving each other.
?Colby sighed. "I don't suppose your lot were any less peaceful, were they?"
?"Unfortunately so," Alex groaned.
?"Hey."
?Alex looked at him.
?Colby gestured to the town. "Pub?"
?"I don't see why not."
?It wasn't a good idea to stray far, so they set themselves up in a quiet pub around the corner. It was dark, dingy and devoid of any Theos knights this far out. It was the perfect place for them to chat.
?Alex nursed his first ale, whilst Colby slugged down his third cup of wine like a parched man in the desert.
?"Gods, I needed this," he said, his voice and chest tight from the overindulgence.
?Alex didn't respond, too distracted by Colby's interaction with Harrison. Colby must've seen Alex was dying to ask about it, and he smirked.
?"Go on, spit it out."
?"I'm just surprised the duke told you about him."
?"He didn't," Colby replied, amused. "I shouldn't know about it, at all. Caelan told me and then Harrison found out I knew."
?Alex shook his head. "What an idiot."
?"Right?" Colby laughed. "I'm more surprised that you know, though. Not only that, you're also leading an expedition with the bloke. It's incredible that father let you."
?Alex winced. "I sort of took Caelan's place... by force. Seems like King William wanted me on this, but the duke thought otherwise."
?Colby stared at him, unblinking. "You're going to get battered once you return," he said, seriously.
?Alex repressed a shudder that threatened to jostle him, ghosts of pain whipping up his back. Even the memory alone stung. He knew what waited for him at home but he held no regrets, none at all. It was too late to ask for forgiveness now.
?"I know. But, I've done it now."
?The mood sobering, they drank in silence for a short while. Alex took notice of every person who came and went, uneasy that his back was facing the customers. He would've preferred to sit on the other side.
?Colby stared down at his wine and then suddenly huffed in laughter, smirking at one of his own thoughts.
?"Not long until the bastard trips and dies, I hope," he joked.
?Alex kicked him under the table, the drinks almost losing balance from the jolt. His eyes darted around, scanning to see if they'd been heard.
?"Careful to whom you say that to," Alex hissed.
?Colby rubbed his leg, his face pained. Unlike Alex's other brothers, Colby was the only one who'd let him get away with such a deserving act.
?"Speaking of the bastard, have you thought about what you want to do once he fucks off and dies?" Colby persisted.
?Alex narrowed his eyes. It was a very strange question to ask so suddenly, so unapologetically suspicious. Colby must've been aware it would make Alex wary, no doubt it was deliberate. Even so, he considered it, briefly thinking it over.
?He sighed. "I'll just be owned by whoever succeeds, won't I? Depends on what they want to do with me, I suppose."
?The thought was depressing.
?"You could always try to run away," his brother suggested, "become a mercenary; go live in Talum. Talum loves taking asylum seekers."
?Alex was unconvinced by the idea. Running away was an inconceivable thought to him; he shouldn't have to.
?"Looks like the duke's currently interested in Caelan as his successor."
?His brother laughed at this. "Father will get bored of him soon enough. No one is good enough for that man, not even his own flesh and blood. Give it a month and he'll change his mind again."
?"That would be nice," Alex mused. "Caelan hates me. I'd be dead within a year."
?It shouldn't have been something Alex could say so coldly, but he was used to the reality of the situation by now. In a way, the duke title belonging to Philip Chamberlain was a lifeline for him, just an unpleasant one.
?"Hey, remember when dad thought I'd made a good successor?"
?Alex sniggered at the memory. "Didn't last long."
?"No, it didn't."
?"Would be nice if you ran for succession, though," Alex admitted, feeling down.
?His brother thought for a moment, dazing off to the side. Then, he leaned back, stretching his arms over his head.
?"I'm not designed for it. I'm a free spirit, Alex. I enjoy hanging out with the knights and mercenaries and getting hammered every night. I'm not suitable."
?It was a shame, Alex thought. He might've had a future to look forward to if Colby had been more welcome to the idea.
?"Even if I did become the next duke, I wouldn't be able to free you," Colby argued, "I could only encourage you to run away and turn a blind eye to it."
?"What, to Talum?" Alex snorted.
?"Yes," his brother stated, "to Talum."
?That wasn't what Alex wanted. He'd hardly be welcomed there since even the Talumni people hated Ashadis.
Their empire suffered in the war too, with many dying of starvation as a result of Ashad's blockade of the Ostyae Strait.
Alex wouldn't be any happier there. At least in Khearia, he had a smidge of power that kept him alive.
?The only country that would welcome him was Ashad, but he despised that country more than he hated Khearia.
?Alex traced the rim of his cup, the contents empty. "Actually... do you know how Her Grace is doing?"
?There was no immediate reply and Alex looked up at his brother, finding the other man regarding him with a small sad smile.
?"You don't have to call her that around me," Colby said, sincerely.
?Alex tried to smile, but it didn't settle on his face easily.
?"Mother," he said, "how is mother doing?"
?Colby's shoulders tensed, rising, his body language becoming nervous and agitated. Then, he deflated, rubbing the back of his neck, unable to look Alex in the eye as he delivered the news. Alex returned his attention back to his cup.
?"Father wants one of us to impregnate her."
?Alex's head snapped up. "He's joking."
?"Unfortunately not," Colby lamented, his frown grim. "He's getting older, whilst we're all still young and fit. He wants his next son to be perfect physically."
?Alex rubbed his jaw with his shaking hand, revulsion running hot and cold in his veins. "That's... that is disgusting."
?Colby scrubbed his face, his movements slow, remaining calm. "I doubt any of us would do it, though," he said, trying to disarm the situation. "Even Caelan hates the idea, despite the cock gagging stuck-up he is. That's yet another reason I reckon father will get bored of him."
?Alex wouldn't be distracted, his heart thudding heavily. "This is disgusting. Hasn't she been through enough? How come I didn't hear about this?"
?"Well, he was never going to ask you, was he? Even though you're the only one who's not her real child."
?It was true, the duke would never taint the family bloodline with someone like Alex.
?"Maybe it's better if Mother's sense of reality slips further, then," Alex said.
?The Gods knew she'd been through enough for one lifetime.
?"It's not something we should worry about too much," Colby advised, "Mother is also quite old. I doubt she'd be capable of bearing another child."
?It didn't do much to ease Alex's anger, though.
The principle of the idea was also detestable— for such a thing to be considered in the first place.
Alex had always heard that the duke and duchess had married out of love quite young, but it now better resembled torture.
His mother was nothing more than an object, a baby farm.
?Alex clenched his fists. His father would call him a barbarian, yet this was how he treated the love of his life. Not even the woman-hating Ashadis that he loathed would stoop so low.
?It was clear that Colby was desperate to change the subject. "Tell me, how's the hope of Khearia? Is he princely?"
?Alex scoffed at the idea, not unamused by the thought. He allowed the subject to change so that he didn't become too agitated. "He's a stone-cold psycho. Kills and does anything he wants."
?Colby scrutinised him, but Alex kept a straight face, not giving anything away. It was a skill James was probably better at.
?"You don't seem to dislike him," his brother deduced. "You normally hate that kind of person."
?Alex thought about it for a moment, the image of the dreamcatcher being hung above his head flashing in his mind. "No, I don't dislike him," he said, the realisation surprising him. "Actually, he's annoyingly likeable. He's... charming. I mean, he's fucking scary, but... no. He's charming."
?"I can't tell if he looks completely different or exactly the same," Colby pondered.
?"You met him before?"
?"Of course. Father was the one who gave him his relic. We visited the Ankaid palace often."
?It was uneasy ground, Alex didn't want to appear too interested in the prince. But, he supposed anyone would be in his situation.
?"What was he like?"
?Colby didn't seem to have expected the question. "Prince Julian?"
?Alex nodded, taking a fake sip of his empty cup so he could hide his face behind it.
?Colby cocked his head, thinking. "Well, he was very naive. He was always quite strange, a little twisted. He was both overconfident but quite uncertain at the same time. I blamed his older brother for that, all of us did."
?"They weren't on good terms?"
?"Gods, no," Colby enthused. "It was an open secret.
But, if Prince Julian couldn't stand a little bullying he was never going to be deserving of his title, you know?
The late king and queen were right not to interfere.
Prince Julian was a smart kid, I think he knew that.
He used to beat King Fabian at sword fights a lot. "
?Alex gaped. "You're kidding."
?Colby laughed. "Nope! I saw it myself. Maybe I'll ask Prince Julian for a spar later."
?"We all call him James," Alex said.
?Colby tapped on the table. "You seem quite interested in him, you don't normally care about the royals."
?"How could I not be?" Alex huffed, "I've associated with him for a while now."
?Colby allowed that explanation. "True."
?"I was also the one to find him originally," Alex added, for good measure.
?Colby whistled low. "Now that is something to boast about. He must hold a grudge, huh?"
?Alex shrugged as if he didn't care either way. The situation was a little more complicated than that, but it wasn't any of Colby's business. His brother would only ridicule him if he'd known. Colby had no such interest in men.
?"Why is Harrison here?" Alex asked. "Actually, why are any of you here?"
?Colby was already shaking his head. "I can't tell you. You need to find out from him yourself— same way I can't ask you what you guys are doing here."
?"You probably have guesses, though."
?"Not the faintest." His brother grinned.
?Alex knew bullshit when he could smell it, but he didn't fight the lie.
?"Oi, Chamberlain!"
?Colby and Alex looked up at the same time. Then, the man who was approaching them laughed nervously.
?"Sorry, my bad," he said, "I meant Colby."
?"Got tired of your comfy grass bed, did you, Reuben? How ungrateful." His brother tutted.
?The knight called Reuben lingered his eyes on Alex. It wasn't friendly, but it couldn't be called hostile either. It was a look Alex was used to; a sort of disrespectful curiosity.
?"I forgot you two were brothers," Reuben mumbled.
?Alex scoffed in bitter laughter. No, he hadn't.
?"No?" his brother teased, "We look alike though, don't we? We would be twins if it wasn't for the age difference."
?"I see no differences at all," Reuben confirmed, sarcastically.
?Alex knew his brother didn't mean harm but he felt uncomfortable regardless.
Colby may have been the easiest to get along with out of the duke's children, but Alex had never been under the illusion that they were a real family.
To Colby, Alex was like a cute dog, a pet, that he could drag along and show off to his friends.
Alex didn't hold it against him, it was still kinder than the alternative, but Alex didn't want to stick around.
He knew Colby would continue to make jokes at his expense.
?"I ought to go check on my section," Alex announced, standing, the bench scraping against the ground.
?"Aw, already?" Colby whined. "You'll like Reuben, his family owns land in Ashad."
?Reuben nodded. "Yes, in Jebair, along the Strait. Are you familiar with it?"
?Alex withheld a frustrated huffy laugh. He couldn't be too rude.
?"I have no idea where that is. I've not been to Ashad once in my life. Now, if you'll excuse me."
?He made his escape, despite his brother calling after him.
Alex understood that he was an unusual noble, the curiosity was understandable, but he didn't have to like it.
So many times he'd woken up and wished his skin was paler, or that Khearia was used to people like him.
But, wanting something didn't mean it happened.
?Alex jolted in surprise, his heart stopping, once he spotted James waiting outside the front door.
?"You fucking scared me," Alex gasped, his pulse thrumming. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
?"Avoiding the knights," James stated.
?Alex shook his head, taking long deep breaths to calm himself. "You realise half of our expedition is composed of knights, right?"
?"What are you implying?"
?It was obvious what Alex was getting at. James had become comfortable in their presence, despite their careers. He sparred with Thomas almost daily, and he'd even stopped seriously suggesting they should murder Riley too. It was a bit of a double standard.
?"I don't like him," James stated, nodding his head in the vague direction of Colby, offering his unsolicited opinion as always. It was the statement James repeated the most, he was like an inhospitable parrot.
?Even so, he was pointing out Colby specifically, not the section of knights in general.
?Alex stared at James' blank face for an extended moment, trying to read it. Was this possibly jealousy? It seemed unlikely, but...
?"He's my brother," Alex explained, wary about a misunderstanding.
?James blinked, and then he smiled, his cheeks lifting, his cherry eyes dancing. It was more enticing than gold.
?"So cute," James said, peeking up through his lashes, tilting his head. He took a step closer. "Were you worried about me?"
?Alex felt his face heat up and he pursed his lips. "I'm never going to worry about you again," he swore.
?This only widened James' grin further and Alex had to fight not to fidget.
?"I appreciate it," James went on, "but, I'm not particularly possessive, so you don't have to worry about such things."
?It was so absolutely a lie that it was almost insulting.
Alex didn't believe him for a single moment.
For James, everything was a matter of ownership, it only took one look at his relationship with Eris to figure that out.
James was a deeply possessive person, he just hid it because he knew Alex wouldn't like it.
?He was tempted to contradict James but he'd already said he'd attempt to trust the other man's sincerity.
Perhaps the point of James' lie wasn't that he was trying to convince Alex otherwise, but that the words needed to be taken at face value; whether James was possessive or not was irrelevant, James was simply stating his intentions to not be. Alex would simply have to trust that.
?"I don't like possessive people," Alex murmured.
?"I know you don't," James confirmed, "which is why it's good that I'm not."
?Alex nodded. He'd figured it out correctly.
?There was a sense of satisfaction that came with his correct interpretation. He felt closer to James as a result, it was like a cryptic message that only Alex could solve. With each correct guess, Alex better understood the cypher, which meant he better understood James.
?"I already knew he was your brother," James told him. "He looks like the duke."
?Alex wouldn't normally take such declarations about James' dislike of people seriously. But, now it seemed that James didn't say things for the sake of it. There always tended to be meaning.
?"Then... why don't you like him?"
?"The fact he looks like the duke is reason enough," James shrugged. Then, he looked away. "You looked uncomfortable."
?Alex smiled, weirdly satisfied.
?James must've been watching their conversation from outside.
If it'd been anyone else he'd accuse them of stalking, but he was just happy that James, despite how twisted he was, knew where the line was drawn.
James was like a prickly cat that left dead mice on the doorstep as gifts and followed him around the neighbourhood from a distance, never planning to intervene.
?Alex must've been pretty twisted himself if he found such a thing endearing.
?"I was," he confirmed. "But, Colby isn't a bad guy."
?James waved that off. "He's a knight."
?"I'm a knight."
?"One of your many, many flaws."
?Alex hesitated. "Hey, about yesterday..."
?James glanced at him. "Thank you for stopping me."
?Alex nodded, glad he made the right decision to silence James before he'd admitted something secret in the heat of the moment.
?"But, it seems like you have some idea about it..." James trailed off, inspecting him.
?James was nervous. It wasn't so much that Alex could read it in his body language, more than he simply knew he would have to be.
?"I don't know," Alex lied.
?James smirked, snorting, seeing through the words.
Alex did have an idea of what James' problem was, but he would take a page out of James' book and lie through his teeth because it didn't actually matter whether he knew or not.
James didn't want him to. The thing that mattered was whether he would admit it or not.
?For once, it felt like they were on the same page.