LVII
With Harrison's seal of approval, their next move was decided.
?Without horses, they'd have to make the journey on foot. Harrison had provided them with one horse, softly suggesting that its rider hadn't returned along with the rest of them. They could hitch their bags to it, making the journey easier on their feet.
?It wasn't just a horse that Harrison had provided for them. They'd received more appropriate clothes for the weather; light shirts with short sleeves and knee-high kilts so their limbs could breathe. It came as a relief to all of them.
?For James though, it meant his scarring was more evident.
He hadn't bothered rebandaging it last night since no one would see it in the dark.
But now, in the light of day, sitting outside on the grass, he felt self-conscious.
A few of the mercenaries had whistled in awe, patting him on the back like it made them comrades.
He didn't entertain the attention, but he didn't rebuff it either.
?Because of the injured, they'd run out of clean bandages for James to use. So James used his old shirt, ripping it into strips with the aid of a knife, tying the pieces together. He kept an eye on Alex's brother, Colby, as he did so, stalking his movements.
?Colby was more injured than he pretended.
?With most of the attention on Colby's sliced hand, none of the others paid attention to the stutter in his gait or the way he leaned on one leg more than the other. It was equally telling that he was still wearing trousers instead of the kilts that were available.
?There was probably a reason the man was keeping his injuries to himself.
?James made his expression a little less unpleasant when he saw Alex approach.
?"You're covering it?" Alex asked in surprise.
?There was no real reason for Alex to have thought otherwise.
?"It's unsightly," James stated, simply.
?"Wouldn't it be uncomfortable in the heat?"
?It would. But it was necessary. The dry leathery marks on his arm weren't a digestible sight, especially to normal citizens. Alex had winced the first time he'd seen them and he was a knight who was accustomed to seeing gore. Others wouldn't be as desensitised.
?James shrugged, continuing to tie material together, too lazy to explain that. He expected Alex to walk off but, instead, Alex sat down next to him, closing his eyes to enjoy the sun against his face.
?James admired his work once he was done. The knots would probably feel itchy and uncomfortable after a while, but it was serviceable.
?"Here," Alex said, holding his palm out. "Give it to me."
?James raised his eyebrows in surprise. He noticed then that Alex was sitting particularly close to him.
Their faces were close enough that James couldn't see much of anything else when he looked in that direction.
They weren't touching, but they were more crowded than they would've been before. He wondered if Alex realised that.
?"Why? Are you going to tie it for me?"
?Alex smiled and momentarily averted his gaze, a curl of hair falling onto his forehead.
?Alex felt so delicate to James at that moment, and his heart ached at the thought of something shattering him.
Alex may be brutal at times, with a hard body and an even harder attitude.
But, with a tender expression like that, James was reminded how gentle he was on the inside.
He was just as mortal as the rest of them.
?Alex cleared his throat and carefully took the material straight out of James' hands, slowly, unthreateningly, giving James time to retaliate if he didn't find it acceptable. James let him.
?"You always wrap it too tight," Alex said, not hesitating to look at James' arm as he began working around James' hand.
?Most of the nerves on James' arm had burned out fifteen years prior. They'd healed some over time but they'd mostly remained numb. But, as Alex gently wrapped him, the feathering of Alex's fingertips against his skin tickled, the material feeling soft and light.
?"Don't you think it looks bad?" he couldn't help but ask.
?Alex scolded him with a very slight glare, before softening it with a smile again. "It looks like it hurt. A lot," Alex allowed. He stroked James' unwrapped bicep with the backs of his fingers, genuinely admiring it. "But the skin itself? No. It looks like flames."
?"Flames, huh?"
?It wasn't a description James had considered before but he supposed it did, in a way. The slight crevices of skin were curled and waved, like the pulling of fire. Even the red and white tint looked like its glow.
?"Why are you looking at me like that?" Alex asked, voice humming with humour and confusion.
?"Like what?"
?"Like that."
?James narrowed his eyes, trying to feel what his face was doing. But, it seemed pretty blank to him. Alex might have been seeing something that wasn't there.
?"You're prettier when you don't speak," James grumbled.
?Alex chuckled but he let the topic go easily, focusing on untying one of the knots that he'd deemed unacceptable. James thought he was putting way too much time and effort into it but it didn't upset him. It felt nice.
?"What do you like about this kingdom?" James asked.
?Alex didn't look away from what he was doing, but his lips pursed in thought.
?"Not much, in all honesty," he finally said. "Though, it can look pretty at times."
?James' heart swelled in pride and excitement. Alex was talking about the things he'd shown him.
?"And, what do you like about me?"
?Alex's eyes snapped up to his, blinking rapidly, eyelashes fluttering. In this light, James could distinguish between Alex's iris and pupil and he became absorbed in the sight, not normally being able to see such a thing. The pupils seemed dilated and blown despite the sun hitting them.
?Alex quickly recovered from his fluster, and the angle of light changed, returning his eye colour to a solid black, details hidden once again.
?"Who says I like you?" Alex teased.
?It was rare for Alex to be in a playful mood. Normally people dodging his questions grated on James. But he found his own temper lifting, wanting to play along. He liked this side of Alex.
?"Then, do you not?"
?Alex faux sighed. "Okay, I do."
?James grinned, enjoying his victory, even though it'd been voluntarily given to him. He wasn't going to drop this topic that easily, though.
?"So, which part do you like?"
?Alex hummed in thought, pretending to be distracted by wrapping James' arm, even though he'd been at the same point for a while now. He could've finished already if he'd wanted to.
?"You've got pretty eyes. They're rich, they look like cherries, or wine."
?James considered the compliment. "Other people say they look like blood."
?Alex snorted at the thought but didn't disagree.
?"What else?" James requested.
?Alex looked up at him again, bemusement furrowing his brow. "Fishing for compliments?"
?"It makes me feel good."
?Alex rolled his eyes but thought about it some more, looking away again.
?"I think... at first, it was just respect," Alex murmured. "You overcame all the odds. Everything that tried to destroy you— you were victorious. A conquerer. I respected that."
?Alex went silent. James prompted him to continue. "But..?"
?Alex smiled. "No buts. I respect you. After, though, I realised you'd never take credit for it.
Despite how arrogant you are, you're humble.
I think you're kind, too. Despite what an arse you can be; you don't let yourself burden others, even when it's at your own detriment.
If we're being honest, you could've killed me when we first met, if you'd insisted on it. "
?"I needed Eris," James reminded him.
?Alex shook his head. "You would've found a way. I know you would have."
?James was a rumble of emotions, things he couldn't pinpoint; like various colours mixing in a palette, it was overflowing yet he couldn't pick one out. He hadn't expected such an answer.
?"Just sounds like I'm a bunch of contradictions," James heard himself state.
?Alex laughed. "That you are. You keep me on my toes."
?It sounded like Alex liked James way more than he liked the kingdom, which was a good battle to win. James' should've felt cocky. Instead, he felt overwhelmed. The feeling wasn't comfortable.
?Alex finally finished wrapping his arm, looking happy with his work. He kept touching James' arm, examining it, stroking it, to see if he'd missed anything. James didn't think there was a single spot that Alex hadn't held.
?"What do you like about me, then?" Alex asked.
?"Nice arse."
?"Charming," Alex joked. "You're not very romantic, are you?"
?James frowned. "I am."
?Alex's teeth were showing with amusement. His normally hard face transformed into something approachable and open. He was leaning in closer to James.
?"Prove it," Alex challenged.
?James' gaze was drawn to Alex's lips, becoming overcome with the urge to kiss Alex into silence. Alex raised his eyebrows, probably reading that, but he didn't move away, waiting to see if James would actually do it.
?He didn't. He drew back slightly, giving himself room to breathe. Alex's eyes crinkled with humour, little crowfeet on display.
?It was a good thing, too, since James caught Harrison glancing at them from the distance. James had too much respect for Alex to put him in a difficult position just to win a silent bet.
?Though, it seemed no one had told Alex he had a lovebite on his neck yet. James involuntarily smirked at the thought. Alex was going to be pissed off once he found out.
?"You're principled," James eventually relented.
"Not many knights are. You make me feel protective of you even though you're someone who needs no one.
But, also protected, as humiliating as it is.
Whether you're a good person or a bad person, I don't really care.
I'm just forever glad that you were the one who caught me. "
?Alex's wide stare was unblinking. His lips were parted, hands still. James suddenly felt embarrassed.
?"Was that wrong of me to say?"
?Alex blinked, snapping out of his daze. "No," he was quick to say. "Not at all. You didn't say anything wrong, just... I didn't actually expect an answer."
?Even if Alex was trying to reassure him, he was clearly bothered. It looked like he was struggling to process James' words, his mind snagged on something.
?"Can you tell me which part bothered you? I won't say it again," he shyly requested. He genuinely wasn't sure which part of his explanation was wrong.
?Alex shook his head, unable to look at him, fidgeting with his fingers on his lap. "Nothing was wrong," he asserted. "I'm just not used to hearing things like that. If anything, I was happy to hear it."
?James had ruined the mood again. It was a natural talent of his. He looked over at Colby, considering whether he should tell Alex even though his brother seemed so intent on hiding his injuries. He knew that if he said it, there would be no chance of Alex's playfulness returning.
?"Colby is limping," he stated.
?Alex looked up, narrowing his eyes and watching Colby's movements keenly. There was no good humour left in the air, having evaporated.
?Alex slowly nodded. "You're right," he murmured. "That bastard. He's favouring one leg."
?James hadn't quite figured out the relationship between the two brothers yet.
It was clear they cared for one another but it didn't seem like there was any decent level of respect between them.
They were friendly but not close. Perhaps it was more accurate to call them comrades by sheer proximity than family.
?"And what about you?" Alex asked.
?James was surprised Alex hadn't gotten up to leave already. "Huh?"
?Alex scratched his neck, lowering his voice. "Are you in pain?"
?It took a moment for James to understand, cocking his head in thought. But, it dawned on him and he chuckled.
?"I'm more than fine. I don't even notice it. I once again remind you I've been tortured before."
?"Doesn't mean it hurts any less," Alex argued, seriously.
?James shrugged and gave Alex's shoulder a little push. "Go wind up your brother instead of bothering me. Shoo."
?Alex made a wry face, his brows knitted. But he obeyed, leaving James in peace. It gave James an opportunity to organise his thoughts in silence.
?"What do you think, Eris?" he asked quietly. "Do you find it acceptable?"
?Like ripples disturbing the flat surface of water, he felt her deliberate. Her answer was hesitant, uncertain, unlike her. It further fed James' indecision. He wasn't sure if he would be doing the right thing.
?Ultimately, she had no answer to provide him. It seems like it would be his choice alone.
?James watched as Alex bickered with Colby, absentmindedly thumbing the material Alex had wrapped around his arm, stroking a frayed edge between his fingers. Harrison peacefully disarmed the situation, rendering each man silent, before gesturing for James to come over.
?James schooled the scowl off his face as he stood. He wandered over to them.
?"What would the honourable Drykas King's most trusted advisor request of this humble servant?" he asked, his mouth smiling but his tone flat. Alex flashed him an unimpressed look.
?Harrison's eyes narrowed with slight amusement. "I've come to see you off. It'll probably be a short while until I see you again."
?It would be more than a 'short while' if James got his way.
?Harrison whistled, gesturing someone else over. Yusuf stopped what he was doing and casually strolled up to them.
?"I also want to reintroduce you to your new travel companion," Harrison added, gesturing to the mercenary.
?James nodded. He'd wondered if this was something Harrison would do.
?Alex, on the other hand, appeared shocked by the revelation. "Why?"
?"Due to the names I asked you to investigate, it seems likely that you, too, may run into some mercenaries. It would be best if you had one on your side who can negotiate, just in case."
?It was nice that Harrison was dropping them little hints but James didn't like the implication of the extent of the danger they were in. Since Fletcher was travelling with them, they would be dragging a heavier weight around which would make them vulnerable.
?"Yusuf was the leader, I thought?" Alex said.
?This time, Yusuf was the one to speak. "I volunteered. My right-hand man could use the experience anyway. I did tell the others you aren't from Ashad and they understood. But, you never know with this lot."
?James wondered if Alex ever got tired of hearing about a country he didn't have ties to.
?"The Talumnis have no loyalty," Harrison warned, changing language. "Don't tell him anything. Though, he shouldn't ask in the first place."
?"Understood."
?Thomas picked this moment to approach, Fletcher in tow.
?"We're ready to leave, Alex," he said.
?Alex patted his shoulder. "Good work. We'll be off now, Harrison."
?"Hopefully you'll all be in one piece the next time I see you," Harrison replied. "Let me have a quick word with Fletcher before you go."
?Alex gave his brother a bear hug, smacking him on the back. "Don't hurt yourself any further," he warned.
?Colby grinned. "Who do you think you're talking to?"
?All of them except Fletcher walked over to their horse, bags secured onto the animal's back. Riley was waiting there, staring off into the distance. He didn't acknowledge them when they got close. Thomas waved a hand in front of his face, snapping him out of his daze.
?"Did you know the Ashadis tried to hire us during the war?" Yufus ranted at them, becoming offended by his own words. "The cheek of them, after everything they had done. No amount of money could've ever swayed us."
?Alex took only a mild interest. "Did you fight them?"
?James got the impression that Yufus was the kind of chatty person that people didn't reply to since he seemed happy that Alex was asking questions. Built short but hard, like a tree stump, he reminded James of a boar.
?"Yes, when I was young. Only for a few years though. What about you?"
?"The war had ended by the time I was old enough to be drafted." Alex paused, and then wryly added: "I don't think my fellow men would've treated me kindly on the battlefield, though."
?"Khearians are like that, though," Yufus agreed, becoming annoyed again. "They're very cruel. I've never liked them."
?James only kept one ear on their conversation, focusing his attention on Harrison and Fletcher.
When James was younger he could read lips like he was hearing the words out loud.
He found it difficult now. Especially in the bright sun, his vision blurred and his head hurt.
He couldn't make out what Harrison was saying.
?"In Talumn we would say you have lion's eyes."
?James realised Yufus was talking to him. He looked down at the man curiously.
?"Because they're red?" he asked.
?"No, because lions stalk their prey first. They quietly watch them from a distance and wait patiently until the very best moment, sometimes for days. That's what your eyes look like."
?"Good for them," James said. He was secretly amused by the description.
?"In Ashad they like to kill lions as a public spectacle," Yufus went on, disgusted.
?"They do that here too," Alex informed him.
?Yufus appeared heartbroken, further feeding James' humour. "How barbaric."
?"Speaking of eyes," Thomas cut in. "Has James got some more of that paste?"
?James ruffled the front of his hair, it had grown again, messily falling into his eyes and shielding them. "Isn't this enough?" he asked.
?Thomas snorted. "Yeah, until a gust of wind blows by."
?James shouldn't feel so hesitant. After all this, he would have to revert back to using it daily anyway. He'd become complacent. It was a trap he'd been wary of before— he'd known that this kind of comfort and luxury wasn't for him. Yet, he'd unfortunately become used to it.
?Alex was staring at him with a strange expression. James had suspected Alex had some idea that there was something wrong with his eyes but it was clear he hadn't connected all the dots yet. He didn't know the cause.
?James needed to man up.
?"I've got some," James said. "I'll deal with it."
?"It hasn't been very windy recently," Alex tried.
?James gave him a dubious look. Perhaps Alex read his hesitance but the excuse was a pathetic one. It just brought more attention to the issue.
?"Don't feed your wife's laziness," Riley snarked.
?"You're just upset you married your cousin," James snapped.
?"Will you shut up about that?"
?"Oh, Adeia. What have I started?" Alex groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.
?Thomas appeared equally grim, a traumatised dread shadowing his features. Yufus, though, he seemed entertained.
?"To think I used to get annoyed when my daughter argued with her cousins..." Thomas recalled, hollow. "I miss that kind of peace."
?"Maybe I should just cut their tongues out," Alex suggested.
?"James' tongue, huh?" Riley challenged. "But I thought—"
?James kicked the back of Riley's knee and pulled him backwards by the scruff of his neck in one smooth movement, rendering the other man confused and on the ground.
?"That fucking hurt," he protested.
?James kicked him once again for good measure. "You need to be more respectful to your superiors."
?"What's all this about?" Harrison asked, voice sharp with concern.
?James had been too distracted to hear his footsteps approaching them, startled at the advisor's speech.
?"They were sparring," Alex quickly said.
?Harrison looked between Alex and the scene of Riley on the ground like he was shocked by the blatant lie. James nudged Riley with his foot whilst Harrison was looking away.
?"Yes," Riley gritted through his teeth. "Sparring."
?James smiled pleasantly and bent down to offer Riley a hand.
?"Come on, I'll help you up," he offered, his tone sweet.
?"I hate you so much, you ivory rat," Riley muttered for James' ears only as he let himself be pulled up, his smile equally fake.
?"The feeling is mutual, snake."
?Harrison sighed but ultimately decided it wasn't worth his time. He guided Alex away from the group for a private chat and the smile fell off both their faces like a boulder.
?Thomas shot them a withering look that they ignored.
?"You would feel better with your relics, you know," James said.
?Riley sniffed. "What makes you think my relics care as much as yours?"
?James narrowed his eyes. "Where are they?"
?"None of your business."
?James didn't know why he bothered.
?His opinion of Riley had both changed and remained the same since they'd first met. Riley was still the same man, a prick and a snake, but James had become more understanding of him as well.
?"I never forget a face," James stated, keenly watching Riley's reaction in case he tried to lie. "But I don't remember yours. I'm certain of it."
?"What of it?"
?"You recognised me."
?Riley's face appeared bored by the allegation but it seemed like that was how the knight truly felt. His expression was honest.
?"I visited the Ankaid palace with Llwyd once as a kid," Riley revealed. "I saw you but you didn't see me. I watched you spar. I remember being very impressed."
?James smirked. "I must've made quite the impression, huh? You recognised me even though so much time has passed. Was I really that memorable?"
?"Shut up," Riley grumbled. "You look exactly the same. Your eyes are striking."
?"Did you have a crush on me?" James mocked.
?Riley's nostrils flared, outrage hardening his frame, his expression contorting and wrinkling. "You're hideous."
?"Alex thinks I'm handsome."
?"Your whole person is repulsive," pure disgust and contempt dripped from Riley's words, his nose scrunched up like he was tasting something rotten. "You're evil and unhinged. You're a demon with a decent face. I fear for Alex."
?It wasn't until Riley regarded his grin, his body subtly turning away, that James realised he'd been smiling cheek to cheek. He covered it with his hand, trying to massage it away.
?"I didn't know you hated me that much."
?"What can I say?" he mumbled. "Your shameless disregard of human life reminds me of Maurice. I'm relieved you're going to run. I think King William would only be trading one murderous tyrant for another."
?"Those are some harsh words. I'm hurt."
?"You have the emotional capability of a rock," Riley retorted. "You don't even try to deny it."
?James wasn't angry, nor was he offended. There wasn't a single unreasonable accusation in Riley's words. James didn't have a particularly high opinion about his own character either. He didn't have much sympathy and he was bordering on the edge of crazy on a good day.
?James hummed in thought. "Well, I think you're a self-centred coward. What was his name again? Simon? I wonder why you didn't take him with you, leaving him amidst the danger instead."
?James had expected a retort, instead, Riley's eyes were wide and glassy, like he'd been slapped across the face. It was sobering. James immediately regretted the comment.
?Uncomfortable and unsure of what to do, he walked away, pretending to have an interest in what the others were doing. When he looked back, Riley was standing in the exact same place, unmoving.
?James tapped Thomas on the shoulder.
?"What do you want?" Thomas asked, still annoyed from earlier.
?"I think I've broken Riley."
?Thomas peered over his shoulder, taking a nice long look. Then, he sighed and walked away without another word.
?James had proven every single one of Riley's accusations right.