Chapter 13 #2
“Hey you,” I greeted Melinda once she exited her car. I had just made it home and spotted her headlights from down the street and decided to wait for her.
I adjusted the strap of the bag slipping from my shoulder and neared her.
Her car keys jingled as they hung from her fingers. “What are you doing here?”
“I had dinner at Space Burger with the team. Some of your friends were there too.”
“I had a meeting with Coach. To go over my training program.” Her lips tilted up. “I’ve been cleared to train and compete again.” Her turquoise eyes sparkled with glee.
“You have?” Before I could register my own movements, I pulled her into my arms. The smell of her orange blossom shampoo assaulted my nostrils.
After a few seconds, Melinda relaxed against me. She rested her small hands on the dips of my hipbones, and time stopped. My heart thrashed in my chest. As if someone had electrocuted us, we both jumped back, keeping a safe distance between our bodies. The air was charged with something galvanic.
She adjusted the navy-blue varsity school sweatshirt she was wearing over a pair of jeans and white running shoes. The semi-athletic style—very similar to the one I was sporting right now—looked good on her.
“I wanted to come and see you after dinner,” she said, breaking the awkward face-off.
“You did? Missed me too much already?”
“Not yet. I was wondering if you were still up for helping me train. I gotta get back in shape and shed a few pounds.”
I snorted. “You? Lose weight?”
“Yeah, well, I have to get in the best shape of my life. Maybe not shed pounds but increase my lean muscle mass. These next few meets are important, and I can’t afford to slack off right now or be slow.”
“We could go for a run in the morning.”
“Don’t you have a big game tomorrow night?”
“Yes, but I would go for a run anyway. We’ll go slow and see how you feel. Six thirty?”
“Huh…yes?”
I cocked one brow. “Yes? Or yes. Are you scared I’ll beat your ass, Shepard?”
“Ha ha, real funny. We both know I can’t beat you at running, Pierce. But yeah, six thirty is fine with me.”
“Awesome. I’ll meet you right here when you’re ready.”
“Deal. Night.”
We both turned to leave when I stopped and whirled around. “And, Mel? If it’s hard at first, don’t let it discourage you. I’ll be right there to help you, okay?”
She nodded, a somber expression painting her face. “Thanks.”
I was in bed by eleven, trying to catch some rest since tomorrow was going to be a big day.
Unable to quiet my racing thoughts, after tossing and turning for a couple of hours, I dressed in a pair of old sweatpants and a hoodie and made my way downstairs.
I faced my mother when I entered the kitchen.
A quick glance at the oven digital clock told me it was almost one in the morning.
“Mase, I thought you went to bed hours ago?” she asked, a worried expression clouding her face.
Her light brown hair was piled at the top of her head, her blue eyes boring into mine.
My mom and I looked very much alike and shared most of our facial features, but hers remained soft through the years while mine became more angular the older I got.
Even though Craig and I were very similar, he inherited most of our dad’s genetic traits.
“I did…huh…I tried. I couldn’t sleep.” The game tonight, the homecoming dance on Saturday night I was ditching, Melinda and Landon going together, and our upcoming jogging date.
The game was the only thing I should be anxious about, yet the idea that Melinda and I would spend many hours together multiple times a week made me restless.
I couldn’t screw this up. Helping her out with something that meant a lot to her was my chance to prove that I wasn’t some immature idiot but rather someone trustworthy.
And that we could be more than friends and our chemistry was still there even after all these years.
“Want me to make you some tea? I was having trouble sleeping too. Your dad is snoring. He’s been working longer hours these days, and I think it’s finally catching up with him.”
I eyed the front door. “I think I’ll go for a walk.”
“In the middle of the night? You would tell me if your insomnia was serious, right?”
“Yep. It’s just the pressure of the game. Nothing else. Playing against Cowley High always does that to me. There’s a lot at stake.”
“I don’t want you to fall into old patterns. Do you remember? During sophomore year, the recurrent bouts of insomnia before games had been a huge problem. Even your grades suffered.”
“Fully aware. I swear it’s not like that this time around.”
“Are you still doing those breathing techniques when you feel overwhelmed?”
“Yeah. And I’m trying to do more visualization. I’m getting much better at it. Coach says it shows, and my game has improved too. I’m still not good at meditation, though. I find it hard to sit there and not do anything for fifteen minutes. My mind never shuts up when I have no distraction.”
“You, my son, are so much like me. Craig and your father can sleep through an earthquake. We’re the emotional ones, even though we try to act like everything is fine all the time.
It’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes, Mase.
Growing up, I had no options and had to deal with it, but you have choices nowadays.
Society is much more forgiving about anxiety and other mental struggles.
It’s okay if your mind wanders when you do mediation.
Give it some time. As long as you keep trying.
That’s all I’m asking.” She cradled my cheek with a palm.
“I want you healthy, physically and mentally. Always.”
“I’m all right, Mom. I swear.”
She watched me for a long moment. “Do you recall my friend Susan?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Remember I told you her nephew got recruited to play professional baseball next year?”
“Yeah, so?”
“He was in a car accident two weeks ago. Drunk driver. Broke his hips and two ribs. His baseball career is over.”
“Shit.”
“Language.”
“Sorry. Why are you telling me this?”
“Because... I know playing professional football is your dream, but you never know what life has in store for you.”
I raised one brow. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”
“When you go to college next year, choose a major that interests you. Don’t just go to college so you can play ball. In the long run, if things don’t work out as you’re hoping then you have a plan B.”
“Geez, Mom. Depressing much? What has gotten into you?”
“It’s true, Mase. You might not see it now because you are young and healthy and thriving, but sometimes things happen, and the choices you make will impact your future.”
“Playing football is my future. It’s all I’m good at and all I’m interested in. There’s nothing else for me.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yep. I won’t let anyone or anything get in the way of my playing pro dream.”
“Don’t you think that poor boy must have said the same thing about his baseball career?”
“Probably. It sucks that his gift has been stolen from him, but how is it related to my situation?”
“It’s not. I want you to remember something.
Most things in life happen for a reason.
Even if it’s hard to see the endgame sometimes.
Maybe Susan’s nephew is destined to find a cure for cancer or to be the best college baseball coach in history.
Or maybe he’s supposed to be a spokesperson against drunk driving and inspire people around the country with his story.
I have no idea. I just don’t want you or your brother to rely only on football and forget there’s a life outside the sport.
I don’t like it when you put so much pressure on yourself.
And I hate the fact you have insomnia because of a sport ruling your existence when it shouldn’t.
Perhaps you’re destined to play in the big leagues and be the best quarterback of your generation, but maybe you’re supposed to do something else too.
Something that doesn’t take a toll on your mental and physical health. ”
“Impossible.”
“If you say so. Anyway, pick a degree you like. If, eventually, you gotta do something else with your life, then you won’t be miserable. It would make me very sad if you were.”
“Seriously, Mom. Where is all this coming from? Are you okay? I have no intention of retiring from football anytime soon. And neither does Craig.”
“I know, Mase. It’s just…that poor boy’s story got me thinking. As a mother, I can’t help but imagine what would happen if it were you or your brother navigating such a situation.”
“Well, it’s not. We’re here, healthy and thriving. If you always imagine the worst, you’ll only worry about us.”
“I already always worry about you two. It’s my job as your mother.
Also, I know football players are prone to injuries.
Concussions are no joke, Mase. Your brain is precious.
It’s not worth gambling with it. You experienced it firsthand last year.
I don’t want you to live with long-term consequences. You’re still growing.”
“Mom, stop. My brain is fine.” I hugged her petite frame before releasing her.
“Craig’s brain is fine too. Don’t lose sleep over this, okay?
And I’ve already decided I’ll study business next year.
See? I’m thinking long shot. It will open doors for me if needed.
Melinda asked me a question the other day, and it got me thinking too. ”
“You two have been spending more time together lately.”
I shrugged. “It’s no big deal. We’re friends.”
She raised a brow as if to say Yeah, right. “Anything else I should be aware of?”
“No. I will be helping her train so she can get back in shape.”
“She’s a nice one, Mase. Don’t hurt her.”
“Never. I would never hurt her on purpose, Mom.”
“Good.”
“And, Mom? It’s gonna be all right. You’ve always known football was in our DNA. We didn’t choose the sport, it chose us.”