Chapter 23 – Wren
Over twenty men against one man, and not one of them triumphed over him. It was like watching a scene straight out of a Hollywood movie. His moves were calculated, his shots precise, and he never missed a target.
Val fought every single last one of the intruders just to keep his household safe. The chaos had destroyed the living room, and the aftermath was a mess of dead bodies littered across the floor.
His skin was slick with blood that wasn’t his, marred by injuries and some minor cuts. I sat on my heels, watching him threaten someone over the last intruder’s phone. The one I sent straight to hell barely two minutes ago.
My hands were still trembling at the fact that I killed a man, and a sudden cold seeped into my bones with the sheets wrapped around me. Well, I didn’t kill him in cold blood—I only pulled that trigger because he was about to murder Val.
The intruder had the upper hand; he was almost twice as big and tall as Val was. By the time the battle between them began, Val was already exhausted from fighting all those other men. It wasn’t a fair fight at all.
If Val hadn’t used up his strength on the previous armed assailants, I was confident that I never would’ve needed to step in and help him.
He would’ve ended the intruder’s life in a heartbeat.
However, that wasn’t the case; the coward waited until Val was weak before showing up like some big bad guy from a movie scene.
Idiot.
I wasn’t shaking because I regretted my action. No. I was shaking because I didn’t. Let that sink in for a minute.
Just last night, I teased Val, saying that I’d let him die in the blink of an eye if he was ever in trouble. Joke’s on me, I guess. I didn’t hesitate when I pulled that trigger, and the only reason I didn’t fire another was because he dropped instantly.
With that much rage coursing through my veins, I wanted to empty the gun on the son of a bitch. He was lucky he died straight up. That thought was the reason my hands were trembling. Plus the fact that I’d never killed someone before. Not even a cockroach.
I couldn’t recognize myself at that moment, and when I stared at my hands, all I saw was invisible blood. I’d crossed a line now, and there was no coming back from that. I was a murderer, one with no remorse.
Was this how monsters were made? Because I felt nothing. No emotions at all. I was numb, cold as ice, almost like the man I married.
I should blame him. I should blame Valarian Tarasov for this woman I’d become, this killer. My life turned upside down the day I woke up in his dungeon, and ever since, I hadn’t been the same. I’d survived multiple attempts on my life, like any of this was my fault.
Now, those sons of bitches pushed me to the point where I had no choice but to let out the killer I never knew was in me. There was no difference between Val and me—we were both killers, killers without remorse.
One thing I realized today was that I wasn’t who I was by choice. I was just ignorant of how evil people could be and had never had to fight for my life or those I loved. I was safe from the harsh reality of this world. Until now, of course.
I learned today that our circumstances and situations shaped our lives, molding us into the people we were. Before now, my biggest choices used to be what I’d wear to school—my biggest problem used to be how to make straight A’s.
Not anymore.
In this world, it’s kill or be killed, and those unfortunate enough to grow up around nothing but violence turned out to be the worst in society. I had a taste of that—a taste of how Val’s life looked for decades.
With what I’d seen so far, I couldn’t blame him for being what he was. If I experienced things like this two more times, I just might lose myself in the darkness. Because, as “good” as I was, I’d rather kill than be killed.
That mindset was the beginning of my undoing, but it was the only thing I could hold on to in this world I found myself in.
I glanced at the bodies sprawled across the room, the blood that stained the floor, and the bullet holes in the walls. How the hell did he survive this? How did he manage to kill all these people on his own without backup?
I’d always known that he was deadly, but I never thought he was a freaking John Wick in a fight. I wasn’t sure whether to be proud or afraid by how one man massacred a whole army all by himself.
Fear wasn’t an option in this situation because all that death and destruction was for me. To save me.
Today was proof that we would go the extra mile to save each other. No matter the cost. I didn’t think it was possible to take a life just to save him, but I did. I stained my hands with blood for a man I once hated with every fiber of my being.
Val trashed the phone after the call, the sound snapping me out of my thoughts. I rose to my feet, holding his gaze as he approached me with heaving shoulders.
“It’s over,” he said, halting in front of me. “It’s over.”
I swallowed hard. “For now. They know where we are, and they might send more people after us.”
He shook his head, his voice laced with conviction. “They won’t.”
“How can you be so sure?”
He paused, reaching out to hold my hand. “Because you killed him.” Val gestured to the intruder’s body.
“I—I don’t understand,” I stuttered, confused.
“You earned our freedom when you took his life,” he said. “His name was Volchok, and he was sent to duel with me, a fight to the death. The rules were simple: kill or be killed. If I survived, I’d be a free man.” He squeezed my hand. “And thanks to you, I did.”
I looked at the dead guy and then back at Val. “So, what does this mean for me?”
He went silent for a moment, let go of my hand, and took a step back. His fingers combed through his hair, a palm swiping across his face.
“Val,” I called him softly, my heart racing in my chest, eyes fixated on him. “What does that mean for me?”
He hesitated, and for the first time since we moved here, he wore that signature unreadable expression.
Tension hovered in the air, my pulse quickening by the second. A part of me knew what he was about to say, but I wanted to hear him say it. I held his gaze, refusing to look away as my anticipation built inside me.
His jaw locked, throat wobbling after swallowing hard. He didn’t want to say it, and I wasn’t sure why. Was he afraid or what?
He finally gave an answer, his voice soft and gentle. “It means you’re free to go.”
A wind of relief blew across my face, and my eyes reflexively darted toward the front door. I didn’t think the idea of living would excite me the way that it did. If I were being honest, deep down, I felt guilty for wanting to leave.
But this was an opportunity to finally get my old life back. I’d been gone long enough, lost in the darkness of a world I wasn’t built for
“It’s what you want, isn’t it?” he asked, his eyes pinned on me.
A cold shiver ran down my spine, my gaze dropping to the floor.
A soft scoff fell off his lips. “I knew it.”
“Hey, don’t pin this on me, okay?” I frowned, raising my head to meet his gaze. “It’s not as easy as you think.”
“Seems pretty easy to me.”
My brows knitted together, scowl deepening. “That’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one who’s….” I paused, swallowing the rest of the words before things would escalate.
He cocked his head to the side, curiosity dancing in his eyes. “I’m not the one who’s what, Wren?” he asked. “Say it.”
I stood still, silent, with teary eyes.
“What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue? Say it,” he challenged me, his voice deep with an emotion I’d yet to name.
“I’m turning into you, Val!” I blurted out, my voice rising higher than I intended. And from there, the words just spilled out like water from a tap. “I’m losing myself, okay? I am becoming someone I do not recognize, and it scares the shit outta me!”
Silence.
I continued, demonstrating with my hands.
“Ever since I met you, I’ve been targeted, shot at, beaten by your own right-hand man—and today, I just freaking killed somebody!
” I let out a hysterical laugh. “But that’s not the worst part, no, no, no.
The worst part is that I don’t feel guilty! No remorse, no regrets—nothing!”
Silence.
I scoffed, rubbing my eyeballs. “I’m slowly becoming the monster I once hated.” We locked eyes. “And maybe that doesn’t scare you. But it scares the baby Jesus outta me.”
The silence between us was charged with tension and unspoken words—his unspoken words.
I let out a deep breath, feeling a bit calmer.
“I thought I could do it. I really thought that I could live with you and pretend like all is well when all isn’t.
” I shook my head, my heartbeat steadying gradually.
“Now you’re telling me I can leave—I can walk away, but you expect me not to consider it? ”
His silence was starting to spook me, and although his expression was flat, I could see the pain in his eyes.
I swallowed hard, wiping the tears streaming down my cheeks. “You have to see how difficult this is for me. I’m…I’m not cut out for this life. You know it.” I stepped forward. “We’re opposites of each other, Val, and we live in two separate worlds.”
He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “I understand.”
Strange. I was expecting more resistance than that.
“That’s it?” I pushed a bit harder.
“What do you want me to say, Wren?” A hint of frustration laced his tone.
“Whatever you’re thinking,” I replied. “I want you to tell me how you feel.”
“It doesn’t fuckin’ matter!” He raised his voice, not too loud, but a little above normal. “What difference would it make? I’m the monster you don’t wanna turn into. So, you might as well just leave.”
His last statement cut me deeper than it should’ve.
I hesitated, fighting back the tears that welled in my eyes. “Is that what you want?”