Chapter 23 – Wren #2
“It’s what you’ve decided,” he answered. “I’m only choosing to respect your decision.” He combed his fingers through his hair. “There are strings on you anymore, Wren Maddox; nothing binds you to me. You’re free to go.”
Wren Maddox?
I didn’t think that name would sound so unfamiliar in my own ears. Clearly, he just stripped me of his last name. That should feel like freedom, but for some reason, it hurt me more than I cared to admit.
My jaw tightened as I struggled not to shed any more tears. This was a good thing, and I should be glad that he was letting me off easily.
He could’ve decided that I wasn’t going anywhere and kept me prisoner. Or better, he could’ve held that piece of information from me, so I’d stick with him, thinking my life was still at risk.
It was time to break out of this cage and find myself again, finally. It was fun while it lasted, but everything had an end. Maybe this was the end of whatever we had going on between us.
Quietly, I left him standing there in the pool of dead bodies and headed back upstairs.
We didn’t speak to each other until the ride he’d booked for me arrived. The car honk outside was my cue, and by the time I walked downstairs, he was seated on a sofa with a cigar between his lips.
He didn’t say a word, just watched me head toward the front door in silence. I stopped in my tracks and stole a glance at him before stepping outside. I left without looking back, and even when I got inside the vehicle, I looked straight ahead, too afraid to glance back at the safe house.
I wasn’t sure what hurt more: the fact that he asked me to leave or that he didn’t stop me from leaving. I knew it wasn’t his fault or mine, but at the same time, deep down, I couldn’t help feeling like this was a bad idea.
Where were those voices in my head when I needed them the most?
We drove back into the city at night, and from the back seat, I wound down the window, feeling the wind of freedom on my face. Skyscrapers loomed like steel giants, their neon edges slicing the darkness. Billboards flashed, and traffic lights blinked as the city buzzed with life.
The Uber driver dropped me off outside my old apartment and then drove away into the night. I stood in front of the building, eyes gazing up at the window of my room.
Val hadn’t only returned my camera; before I left the safehouse, he’d returned my keys and laptop as well. He didn’t say a word to me. He just left them on the bed while I packed the few clothes I’d come with into a backpack.
Staring at this building felt off—nostalgic—but off in ways I couldn’t explain. Adjusting the backpack on my shoulders, I drew a deep breath and headed into the building.
Up the stairs and through the dimly lit hallway until I reached my room.
“Fuck you, Drake!” My neighbor’s muffled voice rang out from within the walls of their apartment.
“Fuck you too!” Drake fired back.
“I curse the day I met you!” Olivia yelled at the top of her lungs.
My lousy neighbors, Drake and Olivia, were at it again, disturbing the peace of the building with their endless fights. Everything about that couple was loud: their late-night escapades and their arguments.
Nothing about them was a secret.
I shook my head, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips. “Can’t say I missed this,” I whispered to myself.
“Wren?” a familiar voice called from behind me. “Is that really you?”
I turned around, smiling at the nice old lady staring at me. “Hi, Mrs. Alderman.”
“Gracious God! It is you.” She drew closer to me, her hand reaching out to hold mine. “Where have you been? Your friends have come by looking for you multiple times. Are you okay?” The words burst out of her in a hurry.
“I’m fine,” I answered, retaining that polite grin on my lips. “I’ve just been uh…figuring out myself…you know. Trying to find out where I fit in in the world.”
She looked into my eyes, as if searching for answers to the questions she hadn’t asked. “Hmm. I know the feeling. You’re a fine young woman with a bright future ahead of her. Sometimes it’s necessary to ghost everyone so you can find yourself.”
I pushed my lips, nodding in affirmation.
“So, did you find what you were looking for?”
The question hit me hard, like a hammer to my chest.
I paused, unsure of whether I had the answer to that or not. “Honestly…I don’t know.”
She smiled at me, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “Wanna know what I think?”
I squinted, a hint of suspicion flickering in my gaze.
She continued anyway. “I think you do. I think you’ve found what you were looking for. But you don’t like it. And so, you’re running away.”
Fuck. That’s surprisingly accurate. Crazy how she narrowed down all I’d been through and felt these past few weeks in just a few sentences.
What was she, psychic?
“My advice….” Her voice cut through my thoughts. “Stop running.” She squeezed against my fingers. “Embrace what you found. Trust me, it might not be as bad as you think.”
Her words and that radiant smile of hers melted my heart, prompting me to reciprocate the gesture.
“Thank you, Mrs. Alderman,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
She beamed at me, her palm resting on my cheek for a moment before she walked back to her room. Mrs. Alderman stopped by her door, then turned to add, “Oh, and uh….”
I looked at her.
“You look different. In a good way,” she said, grinning faintly. “Looks like these past few weeks treated you well.” She walked into her apartment and closed the door behind her.
Treated me well? I laughed on the inside because she had no idea the hell I was just coming from.
But wait, why would she say that?
I unlocked my door and walked inside.
Home sweet home.
Everything was as I left it: untouched. I took my shoes off, walking further into the room. My old apartment now felt different, almost unrecognizable. I tossed the backpack onto the nearest couch and slumped into it.
Never had I been this confused in my whole life. Ever. I thought I made the right choice by leaving Val, but then, why did I feel so empty inside?
I tried to think, to convince myself that this was for the best. However, the more I tried, the more images of him kept flashing in my head. Val had occupied a space in my heart that no one ever had, and now, it was almost impossible to get rid of him.
I had no strings on me—no chains on my hands and shackles on my feet. I was free. Yet this freedom didn’t feel right.
Maybe Mrs. Alderman was telling the truth. Maybe I knew exactly what I wanted, but I was too afraid to face it. Maybe I was running. And maybe—just —if Val had asked me to stay back, I would’ve.
I didn’t realize how much I’d gotten used to having him around until now. I just arrived at home, and I was already feeling lonely.
That night, when I lay in bed to sleep, I couldn’t. So, I stayed awake for hours, clutching a pillow to my chest. My mind was a tangled mess, and he was at the center of it, occupying my every thought.
How could I get rid of him when his face was tattooed in my mind and his name was carved in my heart?
After a long time of trying to remove him from my head, one question popped up, challenging me to search my heart.
Do you really want to forget him, or run back into his arms?
If I could answer that question genuinely, then I’d be solving seventy percent of my problems right now.
So, what should I do: forget him or go back?
The choice was mine.