Chapter 24 – Val
It had been three days since she left me, and the house hadn’t been quieter. I was used to being alone because I found peace in solitude. However, this time, it was different; this peace wasn’t the kind that I craved.
Every day I woke up to the same routine: cook, clean, think, and nap. Repeat. The worst part was that my thoughts weren’t of anything productive; they always revolved around her.
I never should’ve let her walk out that door; I should’ve stopped her from leaving. But I didn’t. Instead, I let my pride govern me. It wasn’t my intention to allow her to leave; however, I couldn’t exactly ask her to stay, seeing that she’d already made up her mind not to.
At first, I tried to shrug it off, pretending like her decision to forfeit what little life we’d built here didn’t hurt me. It did. It hurt more than I cared to admit. I thought we were finally on the same page, that we understood each other better now.
But I was wrong.
The second she found out she was free to go, her countenance changed, and the delight in her eyes broke my stone-cold heart. How could I bring myself to ask her to stay when she obviously wanted to leave?
Her words were harsh, and they cut deep like a knife. Nevertheless, she was right; everything she said and complained about was true. Her life had become a mess when she met me, and gradually, she was losing herself in the darkness of my world.
She killed someone for the first time, and although it was mostly self-defense, it still didn’t change the fact that she pulled the trigger. She never would have become a killer if she hadn’t crossed paths with me.
Let’s face it, I was the real problem here. Everywhere I went, death and destruction followed. Everything I touched died. The innocent girl was tangled in a web of violence that almost claimed her life on multiple occasions.
I was used to this life: the thrill, the rush of adrenaline, and everything else that came with it. She wasn’t. Wren tried her best to be a part of the violence, but she’s right; she wasn’t cut out for this life. She didn’t belong in my world.
Speaking of worlds, now that I was a free man, I had two options: go back to my old life, or start again. I hadn’t decided on which one to pick yet, but from the looks of things, it might be better to stay away from the Bratva.
Yes, I earned my freedom, but the damage had already been done. It would take a really long time to clean up Akim’s mess. The man had successfully tainted my name and reputation. Going back now would mean playing his game all over again.
My freedom didn’t mean that all was forgiven or that my innocence was established. No. It just meant that by the rule of the Bratva, none of our members would come after me anymore. As far as the council was concerned, I was still guilty of Akim’s accusations.
I promised the old man that I would have my revenge. And I would. When the time was right. The day I’d remember him, even he wouldn’t see me coming. He wouldn’t know what hit him.
For now, though, my biggest concern was how to fix this Wren problem. I was alone, bored, and troubled, hoping that someday, I’d get used to it. However, the longer I lived without her, the more I realized how much I actually needed her.
I missed our banter, missed seeing her everywhere I turned. Every day, before bed, I would scroll through my phone’s gallery, feeding my eyes with the recent photos she took with her camera. I’d transferred them all from her laptop to my device the day before the attack.
My favorite image of her was the one I took the day she almost got bitten by that snake. I’d captured the fear in her eyes and the terror that masked her face. That expression was priceless, and even then, she still looked gorgeous.
She was gone now, leaving me with just the ghost of her that wandered this empty house day and night. She was stuck in my head, her sweet voice always echoing in my mind. I felt like I was haunted by her ghost, and it was driving me crazy.
I’d thought of calling her several times, but then again, what would I tell her? I wasn’t a man of many words, and I wasn’t the kind who knew how to freely express himself.
In all of this turmoil, one question lingered: What did I truly feel for her?
In all honesty, deep down, I knew the answer to that; I just hadn’t accepted it yet. I wasn’t sure if a man like me was capable of the feeling brewing within me. At first, I thought it was just lust, but after our last night together, I was certain that what I felt was beyond the physical.
I refused to name the feeling even though I already knew what it was. It just scared the hell out of me to accept it. Even if I did, what if I confessed my emotions, and it turned out she didn’t feel the same way? What then? What would happen to me, to us?
Crazy how it was easier to take down twenty armed men than it was to actually face my feelings.
What’s the worst thing that could happen if you told her the truth? a voice whispered in my head. Heartbreak. That’s all. Nothing more. Nothing less.
And that was the truth that I was avoiding—getting my stone-cold heart broken by a twenty-one-year-old.
Maybe she only left because you let her go, because you’ve refused to define your relationship with her, said the voice. Your cowardice is the reason she walked away—the reason she abandoned us.
I paced back and forth in the living room as a million thoughts tugged at my mind. The voice kept talking and talking and wouldn’t shut the fuck up.
Admit it, you need her. You’re falling apart without her. Be a man and go find her. Go find the woman you love. The voice paused and then came again, louder this time. Yes, I said it. You love her.
I stopped mid-stride, realizing that I had nothing else to lose even if she rejected me. Keeping quiet was doing me more harm than good. And who was I kidding? The voice was right.
I loved her.
That feeling I was afraid to name…this was it. Love. I thought that I didn’t deserve her, and so I dreaded the term. It was useless holding it anymore. Fuck the consequences. I chose her before; I’d choose her again.
I snatched the car key off the table and stepped out of the house, determined to see this through to the end.
I drove back into the city, hoping to meet her at home—her former apartment.
Tires screeched loudly against the asphalt as my SUV sped down the street, making sharp drifts and reckless swerves.
Angry drivers cursed at me, but I didn’t give two shits. Wren was all I could think of at the moment; she was the reason for my insane driving. I pulled over by the sidewalk and raised my head toward her window. It was open, and the light in her living room was turned on.
I killed the engine, stepped out of the vehicle, and walked into the building. Quietly, I climbed up the steps, glided through the dimly lit hallway, and found her place.
My hand lingered in the air for a second before landing a knock on her door.
No response.
I knocked again.
After a short while, I heard the door unlock from the other side, and my heart skipped a beat. The door creaked open, and there she was, standing by the entrance.
She was dressed in a white robe with a towel wrapped around her head. The scent of shampoo and conditioner mixed with the aroma of her perfume hinted that she was most probably just stepping out of the shower.
Her eyes widened in shock when she saw me, and her breath hitched in her throat.
Was that a good sign?
She looked gorgeous. Tired. But gorgeous.
The fact that she hadn’t slammed the door in my face gave me a kind of hope that no man could take away.
“I didn’t want you to go,” I said, hitting the nail on the head. “I just didn’t know how to ask to stay, especially after all you’ve had to survive.”
She didn’t answer, but her expression softened ever so slightly.
I drew a deep breath, looking straight into her face as I confessed my feelings. “I’ve thought about it, and I’ve come to the realization that I am not complete without you.” I paused, letting the words sink in. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that, uh….”
She stared back at me, her chest heaving with anticipation.
My eyes bore into hers when I finally said the words. “I love you.”
Her face lit up with a beautiful smile as she pulled me in by the collar and locked her lips with mine. The kiss was slow and reverent, a testament of our love—a promise from me to her that I’d never let her go. Ever again.
Whatever would come next, we’d face it together as a couple. As one.