Chapter 3
CASSIDY
The scent of bacon and eggs cooking rouses me from my sleep. I fell asleep in Killa’s arms, and I hate how the man who hurt me so badly can make me feel so secure, so protected and understood.
I slide off the bed with a grimace, resenting how weak I feel.
Unable to help myself, I pick up his T-shirt off the floor and bring it to my nose.
It’s damp but smells like him, so I lift it over my head, uncaring it’s unhealthy how dependent I’m becoming on someone who treated me so terribly.
It feels like I’m going backward, but I can’t help myself.
I’m drawn to him, and right now, I only care I should stay warm while immersing myself in anything that brings me comfort.
I open my bedroom door, and he spins to face me, the guilt in his eyes like a beacon pulling me in, but I’m determined to remain strong, steadfast. He scans me, his eyes softening on the fabric that covers me to my knees.
Then, when his gaze latches onto my cut wrists, he swallows hard before his mouth parts, but I hold my hand up to stop him.
“I don’t want to hear it.”
“Cass, please.”
“You hurt me!” I scream at him. “I pleaded with you, and you did it anyway.”
He shakes his head. “I’d been drinkin’. That wasn’t me. I was hurtin’, Cass.”
“But you hurt me.” I stab my chest with my finger. “I’m not a liar, Killa.” I stare him, straight into his eyes. “I deserve better.” My lip wobbles.
He steps forward. “You do.” Taking my hands in his, he brings them to his mouth. “Please, let me show you. Please, let me be the man I’ve been stoppin’ myself from bein’.”
I swallow hard. The emotion between us is too much to bear. I want this. I want him, but I don’t want to. I’m scared to try, only to end up hurt.
“I’m your man, Cass. I’d fuckin’ kill for you. Die for you. Let me show you who I can be. Please, let us start again.”
“You hate me,” I say, and a tear falls from my face to the floor. “You hate me.”
He shakes his head. “I swear I don’t. I don’t wanna. From today onward, we’re startin’ again. We make this work. Please.”
I open my mouth to speak, but he stops me with an abrupt kiss that renders me speechless, then his lips are gone.
“Seein’ you like that.” He glances away before bringing his gaze back to mine.
“Knowing I caused it. I’ve never felt such regret.
Not once in my life.” He shakes his head.
“I’ve done some shit, Cass. Evil shit. But never have I felt so utterly ashamed of myself.
So sick in the pit of my stomach. Never have I been so afraid of losing you and Noah.
I’ll beg on my knees if I have to. I swear to you, on all things unholy, I’ll never treat you like that again. Never.”
My heart stutters, and butterflies take flight in my stomach. The passion behind his words and the determination in his eyes are everything I could ever want from a man.
“I’ve never known what love is, Cass. But I wanna find out, and it’s you I want to do that with.” He drops his forehead against mine. “Please, Little Demon. Please say we can start again.”
And I might be an idiot. I might be some silly girl with a fantasy of a happily ever after I don’t deserve, but in this moment, this raw, heartfelt moment, I believe him and find myself nodding to his promises.
I only hope it’s me who doesn’t regret it.