Chapter 40
KEIRA
I can't sleep. I can't rest. Hell, I can't even think straight.
Every time I close my eyes, I see it. The altar, the candlelight flickering across those faceless red robes, the knife slicing into my skin, the smell of incense and blood mixing in the air, the Phantom King's voice, cold and certain, telling me things that have wrecked me internally.
And then Octavian's face when he found me. The way his eyes went wide, then dark. The way his hands shook when he cut the ropes.
I rub my forehead, willing the images to stop, but they don't.
My arm throbs beneath the bandage. The pain is dull now, but the scar will be permanent.
I lift my hand, fingers hovering over the white gauze. I don't touch it. I can't, because if I do, I'll feel it again.
My phone buzzes and the screen lights up. Calli's name flashes with a FaceTime request.
I stare at it for three rings before I answer.
Her face fills the screen, eyes wide, mouth already open.
"Holy shit, Keira. I just got all your texts. Sorry, I was with the baby and... your arm! Are you alright?"
I lean back against the headboard, pulling my knees up. "Do you want me to lie?"
She shakes her head, pressing her lips together. "No. But, God, Keira. I'm coming. Niko can watch the baby. I'll book a flight right now."
"No." I sit up straighter, my voice sharp. "Don't. We're in the middle of a clusterfuck here, and I don't need you opening yourself up to danger."
Calli pauses, her jaw working like she wants to argue.
But she doesn't. She just nods, frustrated.
"Fine. But when we get off this call, I'm calling Ares and asking him about all that stuff you told me.
I don't think he'd know. And I sure as hell don't think he'd be down with betrayal like this. Not when it comes to you."
I give a bitter laugh. "Yeah. I know."
Calli leans forward into the screen, her voice softer. "What are you going to do?"
"I don't know, Cal." My voice breaks. "I don't know what to believe anymore."
Well, the real problem isn't that I don't know what to do, it's that I do, and I hate myself for it.
Because even now, even after everything, I can still feel him. The way his hands grip my waist. The way he said my name in the dark. The way he looked at me like I was the only thing keeping him tethered to this world.
And I want to hate him.
I should hate him, but I don't.
Calli's voice cuts through my thoughts. "Is it because you love him?"
My head snaps up. "What? Who says I love him?"
She laughs softly, sad. "Come on, Keira. It's totally obvious. For one, you've been a ghost lately. And whenever we do talk, you spend half the time either ranting about Octavian or pretending not to care. And after you slept with him?" She raises her eyebrows. "Girl, I knew you were smitten."
"Yeah, well, looks like I screwed and fell for a traitor."
Calli shakes her head. "You don't know that. Not yet. I'm with Callum on this one. Get the facts, then make the decision. There's too much emotion going on right now. Don't let anger decide for you."
I shrug and glance away. "I used to think I was good at reading people."
"You are," she says softly. "Which is why you need to talk to him. Not Callum. Not Declan. You. Something's got to give."
My chest tightens. "But what if I'm wrong about him, Calli? What if I let myself believe he cared, and it was all just part of the plan?"
She pauses, then says, "Then you'll know. And you'll deal with it. But if you don't talk to him, you'll spend the rest of your life wondering. And that's worse."
We sit in silence as her words settle over me.
Calli shifts, her tone lighter now. "It's been a hell of a year for us, huh?"
A small, genuine smile tugs at my lips. "That it has. But I'd never do it without my ride-or-die chick."
She grins. "Same. I think—"
A knock at the door cuts her off.
I sit up. "I gotta go, Calli."
She nods. "Okay, call me later. I mean it."
I nod. "Okay, love you," I say and end the call just as Callum steps inside.
He closes the door behind him. He looks like he hasn't slept either. His shoulders are tight, his face unreadable.
He doesn't sit, just stands there, watching me.
"What's up?" I ask, defensive.
"I talked to Enzo Bonventi and a few other contacts."
I slide to the end of the bed and sit, my heart racing. "Did he do it? Did Octavian set me up?"
Callum holds up a hand and almost shrugs. "Let me tell you the story first."
I bite my bottom lip but stay quiet.
"Nicolae Ionescu had a plan. A fucked-up one."
My throat tightens. "What kind of plan?"
"The kind where Octavian was ordered to let you be taken so he could track you, kill the Phantom King, and emerge as a hero."
My mind reels, grasping for the version of Octavian who pulled me out of that explosion, who wiped blood off my lip like I was something sacred. Trying to believe that man could coexist with this one.
"What?" I ask confused.
"Essentially, he wanted Octavian's takedown of the Phantom King to be used as leverage for an alliance with Enzo, Ares, and me, so he could finally get his foothold in the U.S."
My voice shakes. "And Octavian just—" I stop and toss my hands up. "Went along with it?"
Callum pauses, watching me.
His jaw tightens. "At first. But there's more. The real reason he agreed is because Nicolae holds a secret about Octavian's mother, whose name is Maria."
"What kind of leverage?"
Callum shakes his head. "I don't know. But whatever it is, it's bad enough that Octavian would do any of this."
I swallow hard. "Okay. You said 'at first.' What does that mean?"
"It means something changed."
"Yeah, I know, but what?"
He looks me dead in the eye. "You."
I shake my head. "What do you mean, me?"
He pauses for a moment. "I went and spoke to him."
I shoot up from the bed. "You what?"
"I needed to hear it from him. And I did."
I pace a few steps before turning back. "And?"
"And," he stops and rubs his chin, "I've come to a conclusion."
"Which is?"
"This is your call, Keira."
I stare at him, confused. "What do you mean, my call?"
"If he lives or dies. It's your decision."
My stomach drops.
"What?! Why me?" My voice cracks. "What about you? Or Declan?"
Callum sighs. "Declan's your twin. He'd kill a blind man for looking at you wrong before realizing the guy can't see." He pause and smirks. "Me? Dad taught me to understand first, then act. And right now, I understand."
I sit back down on the bed.
"What do you understand?"
"That your silence is louder than your rage and that you need to face this head-on. This isn't my call. For what it's worth, it seems the deeper Octavian got, the more unpredictable he became. He broke protocol. Nicolae's furious. Says Octavian went rogue."
I shake my head. "I just don't understand. Why didn't he tell me? Why not warn me?"
"I don't know. Maybe he thought he could control the damage. Maybe he didn't want to lose you."
"Lose me? Well," I hesitate, "too late for that."
"All you have to do is tell me which way to go, and I'll go. You wanted to be an equal. You felt like you didn't have a voice or a choice when we brought Octavian on. Well, now I'm giving it to you."
My voice breaks slightly. "I don't know, Callum. He fucking—" I stop, looking down at the bandage on my arm.
Callum's voice softens. "I know, Keira, but death is final, and I need you to be 100% sure it's what you want for him. Because you'll carry that forever. And if you're unsure, it'll eat you alive."
I look up at him, seeing him in a new light. "Dad always said you were the one to lead us. I see it now, Cal. Once all this is behind us, you're going to do great things for this family."
A small, sad smile touches his lips. "Thanks, Keira."
After a pause, I ask, "What would you do? If it were you?"
He meets my eyes. "It doesn't matter what I'd do, but you'll know soon enough. Come on."
Callum opens the door for me and we walk in silence. My hands shake and every step feels heavier than the last.
I don't know what I'm going to say, or what I want to hear.
I just know I have to see him one more time and find out why he did this to me.
Callum stops outside the basement door. "I'll wait here. When you've gotten your answer, come out."
I nod, not looking at him.
"Keira."
I turn.
"Do what's best for you. The family will figure it out."
I nod again and walk inside.
I don't knock. If he's going to die tonight, he can look me in the eye first.