Chapter 41
KEIRA
The door shuts behind me, sealing us in.
I don't speak. I just stand there, letting my eyes adjust to the dim light.
And then I see him.
Octavian's head hangs forward, dark hair falling over his face.
His arms are zip-tied behind the chair, shoulders slumped.
Blood stains the edge of his shirt where his wounds haven't been tended.
His suit jacket is gone. His sleeves are rolled up, exposing the tattoos, the ink smeared with grime and sweat.
There's a slow, pulsing bruise on the side of his jaw, and when he finally lifts his head, our eyes meet.
He looks broken.
No, he looks ruined, or maybe I want him to look ruined.
And I hate that some stupid, traitorous part of me wants to run to him. Wants to cut the ties. Wants to press my hands to his face and tell him it's okay, that we'll figure it out.
But I don't move, because it's not okay. Nothing about this is okay.
I take a breath, forcing my feet forward.
"I was starting to think I wouldn't see you again," he says quietly.
"Don't," I snap. "Don't do that. Now's the time where you tell me everything, no matter what."
He nods once. "I'll tell you everything," he says, his voice rough.
"Good," I say. "Because if you lie, even once, I walk out of here and you don't get a second chance."
"I won't lie."
"Why?" The word rips out of me raw. I can't help it. "Why did you do this to me?"
Octavian squirms in the chair, his arms straining against the zip ties like he's trying to stand, to reach me. But he can't. He's stuck there, pinned down in place.
"Tell me," I demand, my voice breaking. "Tell me why you let them take me. Why you let them carve me up like some sacrificial fucking lamb."
He flinches at that, his jaw tightening. His eyes close for a second, and when they open again, he speaks.
"Nicolae," he starts, voice low. "My uncle. He had a plan."
I cross my arms over my chest. "I'm listening."
"He wanted me to let you be taken. To track you. To kill the Phantom King, end it all, and come out the hero." He pauses, swallowing hard. "He wanted to use that as leverage for an alliance to come to the U.S."
My stomach twists even though Callum already told me this.
But hearing it from Octavian's mouth makes it real in a way I wasn't ready for.
"And you just, what? Agreed?" My voice shakes with fury. "You just said, 'Sure, Nicolae, I'll throw the woman I'm fucking to the wolves'?"
"At first," he admits, and the words hit like a slap. "At first, I agreed, before even coming here."
I take a step back, my hands trembling. "Jesus Christ. And the bracelet? Did you track me?"
"Yes."
I pace away from him, then back. "So what? This entire thing, every touch, every kiss, all the nights you stayed near me, was part of the mission?"
"No," he says quickly. "That's what ruined the mission."
I freeze.
He shakes his head. "I didn't expect to feel anything for you, Keira.
I was supposed to finish the job, report back, and leave.
But then I started noticing things. The way you fold your arms when you're pissed.
The sound of your laugh when you don't mean to let it out.
The way you defend people even when it hurts you. "
His voice softens.
"And then I started caring what you ate. Whether you slept. If the house had your favorite foods, not because I was assigned to, but because it made me feel something I've never felt before, and I told myself I could control it."
"You should've warned me."
"I thought I could get to you before they touched you. I wasn't fast enough. I thought I could handle it."
"But you didn't," I say, louder now. "You let them tie me to a fucking altar, Octavian."
I raise my arm.
"They marked me," I continue. "They carved an M into my arm while you stood by and let it happen."
He flinches, as if the words themselves cut.
"I messed up," he says. "I know that. But everything between us was real. I swear to you. I love you, Keira."
"You want?"
"I love you. And I realize now is not the best time, but the problem is when I first felt it I thought it wasn't the best time either, and now, now I don't know what time I've got left. So yes, I fucked up but—"
"You don't get to be sorry," I scream. "You don't get to tell me you love me like that changes the fact that you let it happen."
Inside, I'm unraveling. I want to scream. I want to crawl into his lap and sob. I want to hit him, bite him, taste him, destroy him. I want to know why I still care when I shouldn't.
"I thought I was doing the right thing. Yes, Nicolae would have got what he wanted, but I would have got what I wanted, too. And those motherfuckers would be gone and you, your brothers, would all be okay. I thought I could do it for us, not Nicolae."
"You know, there's a lot of talk of Nicolae; what does he have on you?"
"He used me," he says. "He had leverage."
"What kind of leverage?"
He's quiet. His jaw works, muscles jumping beneath the stubble. He looks away, eyes fixed on the concrete floor.
"Tell me," I demand. "What the hell does he have on you?"
"My mother," he says finally.
I wait.
He doesn't continue.
"What about her?" I press, my voice sharp.
He still doesn't answer.
And something inside me snaps.
"You know what?" I laugh bitterly, tears spilling down my cheeks. "Fuck you, Octavian. You want me to stand here and feel sorry for you? You want me to understand? Then tell me."
His head jerks up, eyes meeting mine again. There's so much pain there, so much guilt, that for a second, I almost regret pushing.
"My brother didn't die in the explosion like I told you," he says.
The words hang in the air.
"What do you mean?"
"I thought he died instantly. Painlessly. That's what they told me." He swallows, and I see his throat work, see the way his chest rises and falls too fast. "But he didn't."
I have to remind myself to breathe as I listen.
"He survived." Octavian's voice is low now. "For four days. In the hospital. I didn't know at the time. Nicolae kept me away. Told me it was too dangerous, that I needed to stay hidden."
I step closer, my anger momentarily forgotten. "He was alive?"
"Barely." Octavian's voice cracks. "The doctors said his brain was destroyed. That even if he survived, he'd never wake up. Never speak. Never be him again. Just a body on machines. Suffering."
He closes his eyes.
"My mother sat with him," he continues. "For all four days. Watching him deteriorate. And on the fifth night, she—"
He stops.
I feel my heart pounding in my ears.
"She what?" I ask without thinking.
"She ended it. She gave him an overdose of morphine."
My hand flies to my mouth.
"She killed him," Octavian says, and now his body relaxes. "And then she and Nicolae falsified the records. Made it look like he died from his injuries. Natural causes."
"Oh my God," I say.
"I never knew any of this. Not until she killed herself."
My stomach drops.
"I was the one who found her," he says, voice hollow.
"She left a letter. Said she couldn't carry the guilt anymore.
That she didn't regret saving my brother, but she couldn't live in a world without him and wanted to make it look like she died naturally.
Nicolae would help, just like he helped with my brother. "
I whisper, "So Nicolae used that to control you."
"In the village we come from, in her community, suicide is probably the worst thing you can do.
Next to murder. And she did both," he says and sighs.
"If word got out," he continues, "she'd be remembered as a murderer and a coward.
Her grave would be defiled along with my brother's.
The whole family would be shamed. I don't care about my reputation, but hers?
My brother's? I've spent my whole life trying to protect their names. They're all I had in this world."
He looks up at me, his eyes desperate.
"I wanted people to be proud to have known them. Not ashamed."
My throat tightens, tears streaming down my face.
"I've protected their reputation since I can remember. It's my identity. Who I am. It's the one thing I can control. The one thing I can do."
He pauses.
"But I realize now I can't. I was wrong. I failed you. Just like I failed my brother. Just like I failed my mother."
I stare at him, my vision blurring with tears.
"I was trying to protect you and save you," he says desperately. "I know how that sounds. I know it's fucked up. But I thought, God, I thought I could do both."
I move toward him slowly. "And you didn't think to tell me any of this? To give me the choice to stand beside you?"
"I didn't want you to carry it."
"You don't get to make those choices for me," I say, my voice rising. "You don't get to decide what I can handle or do."
I wipe my face roughly, my hands shaking.
"Dammit, Octavian," I say, brushing the hair out of my face. "I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with you," I say, my voice raw. "How do I trust you again?"
Octavian looks at me, his eyes filled with so much pain it nearly breaks me.
"If you let me live," he says, "I'll spend every day proving to you that you can. Proving that I'd die for you."
He pauses, his voice dropping.
"And if you don't, then at least I'll die knowing that the only woman I've ever loved knew how I felt about her."
The words shatter something inside me.
I break.
I run to him, throwing my arms around his neck, sobbing into his shoulder. His body is warm, solid, and I can feel his heartbeat against my chest, fast and unsteady.
"I'm yours, Keira," he whispers into my hair. "I've always been yours."
I pull back, looking at him through my tears. His face is inches from mine, his dark eyes searching my face.
"Then prove it," I say, my voice shaking. "Help us end this. Help us find The Phantom King. End the Morrígans."
He nods, his jaw tight.
"And then you're going to spend every day showing me that what we had was real," I say.
"I will," he says, his voice fierce. "I swear it."
I take a shaky breath, my hands still trembling.
"And once he's dead," Octavian says, his eyes locked on mine, "I'm marrying you."
I freeze.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me." He leans forward, voice fierce.
"I'm not waiting anymore. I want you. I need you.
I love you. And I may have a fucked-up way of showing it, and that's because I've never had to show it before, but I'll spend the rest of my life making it right.
And if you'll have me, I'll put a ring on your finger the second this is over. "
A laugh escapes me, wet and broken and disbelieving. "You're insane."
"Probably," he says. "But I've never been more sure of anything in my life."
I bite my bottom lip, trying not to smile. "You realize this is not a romantic moment."
"It's the most romantic one I've got." He smiles. "Besides, if I have to spend my life protecting you and proving I love you, I might as well be your husband while I do it."
I don't think.
I just lean in and kiss him.
His lips are warm, desperate, and he kisses me back with everything he has, his mouth moving against mine like he's drowning and I'm air.
When I pull back, I'm breathless.
I lean in close, my lips brushing his ear.
"I love you, too. Now," I say, and get up and smile at him. "Don't go anywhere."
I turn and head toward the door.
I push the door open and step into the hallway, where Callum is waiting, arms crossed.
"Untie him," I say, my voice steady. "He's not dying today."
I meet his gaze without flinching. "He's going to help us end this. And then he's going to spend the rest of his life proving he deserves me."
A ghost of a smile crosses Callum's face. "Fair enough."
"Now let's find Cormac Donoghue and put a bullet in his head."