9. Amorette #2
Grace. Vicente knew about Grace. How long did we truly have before he tried to take her? I wasn’t important enough to do any real damage to him. There was no political power attached to me or anything that would be of value to him.
My one purpose to Vicente was that his sons were attached to me. Or he thought they were. I wasn’t really sure. No, that wasn’t fair. There was something here, and it was cheap of me to try and lessen it.
Vicente saw it. That was why he’d tried to steal me away from them. To hurt them.
If he couldn’t get to me, then he could get to Grace now that he knew of her. And that would hurt me. But would my being hurt really extend to his sons? He seemed to think so.
I met Lafe’s eyes. His brows were pinched, and the skin around his eyes tightened like he was uncomfortable or concerned. Yes. I think my hurt would extend to them. At least to Lafe.
Raising a hand, I cupped his cheek. He stiffened like he had never had anyone touch him like this before. Knowing what I did about their upbringing, he probably hadn’t. “Thank you.”
His eyes fluttered shut, and he held still as if he were afraid I’d pull away. Grey tightened his hold around my waist but didn’t interfere.
“I’m going to crash soon. Will you watch a movie with me?” Lafe asked with his eyes still closed.
I rolled my lips and glanced over my shoulder at Grey. He wasn’t happy, but he nodded. When I turned to Andre, he took in a deep breath and nodded.
“Andre and I can go work out our frustrations in the gym.” Grey picked me up and set me on my feet.
Lafe was already climbing to his. He scowled at his brothers, daring them to change their minds. When neither made a move toward us, he caught my arm above the elbow and walked me toward the door. “We need to stop by my place first.”
I glanced back when we reached the door, and both Andre and Grey watched us with unreadable expressions. Well, that wasn’t wholly true. Grey’s face was shrouded in dark intensity. Andre’s was unreadable.
Letting out a shaky breath, I let Lafe lead me from the apartment. I didn’t like feeling like they were just passing me around, and the way they watched me go from one brother to the other felt like they were.
Except, I wanted to be with Lafe right then.
He’d put himself and his brothers on the line on the slight chance he could save my sister.
I was so fucking ecstatic they hadn’t really had her, but it was only a matter of time.
Vicente had to be stopped. I wasn’t sure the brothers were ready or prepared to take him down, which scared me more than anything.
Yes, I needed to spend some time with Lafe. Hug the one person who had so openly put me and my sister first. And I think he needed me too.
At his apartment, I dropped my arm and headed into the kitchen. Drawers were pulled out and closed. As I rounded the corner, he was popping a pill in his mouth and then dropped the bottle back in the drawer. He didn’t even use water to wash it down.
“Should you be doing that?” I tried not to sound judgmental. He didn’t deserve that from me right then.
He didn’t take offense. If anything, one side of his mouth kicked up into a tiny smile.
“It’s to help me sleep after a high. I’m exhausted, deadass tired.
But if I laid down right now, my mind would keep working no matter how badly I need to sleep.
It’s the worst feeling. Your eyes move behind your eyelids when all you want to do is pass out. ”
Oh. I nodded and crossed my arms. It was weird that he was talking about doing drugs so casually. It was his business in the Institution, but until now, he didn’t really talk about it.
“Why do you do it? The drugs.”
He moved his lips to the side as he pulled a paper towel from the rack. After he blew his nose, he tossed it in the trash and turned toward me. Moving at a slow pace, like he was buying time.
“Because I’m a coward,” he repeated what he’d told Vicente. While some of Vicente’s and Maikel’s conversation had been in Spanish, Lafe only spoke in English. For me, I’d understand at least a little of what was happening.
"You’re not a coward. A coward wouldn’t have gone to save my sister.” I dropped my arms and pushed further into the kitchen.
He smiled ruefully. “I get scared. Scared I’ll miss something, that someone will be faster, or I’ll get caught somewhere and fall asleep.
I pretty much don’t sleep unless I’m at the compound.
I don’t use here. But when I’m on a job, it’s a compulsion.
That I won’t be safe or be able to keep my family safe without it.
I am only as fearless as I am out there because of the powder.
I hate it as much as I need it.” He rubbed the back of his neck and dropped his gaze to the floor.
Push or no?
“You don’t need it. You’re the reason I’m here sharing this life with you all.
I need you not to send yourself into an early grave.
I don’t want you to overdose or kill your body so slowly you die young anyway.
” I slowly approached him, and he dropped his hand and drank me in like a man dying of thirst.
He was so different from the man who gave me an ultimatum—victim, accomplice, or death.
I much preferred this man.
“Can you do that for me? Can you try not to use anymore?” I lifted my hand and placed it over his heart. His chest flexed beneath my palm, and his heart raced.
The skin crinkled around his eyes, not really in a grimace but something close. “I don’t know if I can. I’m afraid of who I am out there without it.”
“But can you try?” I urged.
He brought one hand up to my hip and squeezed. “I can’t make any promises. But I don’t want to be this person anymore.”
“That’s good enough for me.” I stepped into him and slid my hands around his back, avoiding the cut Maikel had delivered. It wasn’t a typical hug—more like I needed to physically hold him to me. I pressed my forehead against his chest and hoped for the both of us that he could do it.
His brothers needed to help him with this, but I would start it. I’d show him someone cared enough about him.
“I need a shower. Why don’t you grab one in the spare, and then we can head to the movie room. That screen is bigger, and the couch is more comfortable.”
His couch looked more comfortable, but maybe he didn’t want me here in his space.
We each grabbed showers, and he gave me a shirt and a pair of sleep shorts, which were surprisingly close to my size. When we made it to the movie room, he didn’t try to pretend he wanted me anywhere else other than on top of him, just like the last time.
With the lights dimmed and the sound reasonably low, I fell asleep before he did.