Chapter 40
FORTY
B laine shut his eyes and sagged as Xanthe rushed out of the room.
Over the sickening pounding of his heart, moments later he heard Maddy’s soft voice somewhere downstairs. Then Xanthe’s. Sharper. Filled with confusion.
The front door slammed. A car engine started a few seconds after that.
She was gone. And he felt sick to his stomach to think he might not see her again.
He took a slow, deep breath. Opened his eyes to face his sickening, nightmarish reality.
His mom lay still on the bed, all the rage, terror and confusion wiped from her face. She looked calm. At peace, as though she was only sleeping.
There were already bruises forming on her upper arms and chest from him restraining her. Her hands were tied behind her with one of his silk ties he’d frantically grabbed from the dresser on the way to the bed.
Looking down at her, he felt broken. His stomach pitched, the earlier surge of adrenaline receding. Leaving him weak and trembling.
He backed up until his shoulders hit the wall. Slowly sank down it because his legs were too weak to hold him up any longer. Drawing his knees up to his chest, he dropped his head onto his clenched fists and sucked air into his hollow lungs.
Fuck. Fuck!
Quiet footfalls on the carpet approached slowly. Stopped.
He didn’t look up. Too busy concentrating on breathing and keeping the bile from rushing up his throat.
“Rafe and an ambulance are on the way,” Maddy said softly. She wasn’t afraid. She just looked sad. For him.
He nodded. Didn’t protest as she crossed the room and crouched down beside him.
“That’s pretty deep. Can I put a bandage on it?”
He glanced down at his right forearm. The back of it burned and throbbed where the knife had sliced along it. He could feel the blood trickling from the wound. Shockingly warm against his chilled skin.
He would have endured a thousand cuts like it to stop his mother from slashing her own throat.
That had been way too fucking close. A split second later, and she would have cut herself instead of him.
Maddy’s footsteps faded. Water ran in the sink in the bathroom. She came back, sank down next to him again. “Here, bossman.”
Swallowing hard, he opened his eyes. The gouge on his arm was bleeding steadily. Dripping all over his hand onto his pantleg and the carpet. Reminding him of the carnage he’d seen overseas, all the innocent and not-so-innocent blood shed.
He held out his arm as Maddy ripped open a gauze pad and set it over the wound. She squeezed it, adding pressure. He set his jaw against the burn. “Sorry,” she murmured.
He welcomed the pain. Could barely stand the guilt when he dared to look back at the bed. “She’s bruised.” Her airway looked okay, he’d been mindful to keep his hands away from it. He hoped he hadn’t hurt her too badly.
“She’ll be okay now. You’re the one I’m worried about.”
“I’m fine.”
“Yeah, you’re amazing,” she muttered and sat next to him, still squeezing his forearm to slow the bleeding. “Xanthe’s gone.”
“I know.” Exhaustion slammed into him like a wrecking ball. Settled in the middle of his chest until he could hardly breathe.
His conscience squirmed at the way he’d treated her, blending with deep shame and fear. He hadn’t heard her come in. Hadn’t expected her to show up here. He’d panicked when he’d seen her standing there, witness to one of the worst moments of his life.
So he’d lashed out. Enraged that she’d invaded his privacy. Hating that she’d seen him at his most vulnerable.
Oh, fuck, he hadn’t wanted her to see any of that. To see him like that. Wished he could erase it all from her memory.
They’d agreed this was just casual. He could just imagine what she thought of him now. He felt like absolute shit for exploding at her.
He ran a hand over his face wearily. Was this rock bottom? Felt like it. Had to be close. “I’ll call her later. Apologize and explain.” Would she even pick up? He wasn’t sure he could ever make this right.
“Yes.” Maddy leaned her head on his shoulder. “She’s good for you, bossman.”
He nodded. “I know.” But was he good for her? He really fucking doubted it at this point. Even if she could get past this horror, this same situation could happen again.
“She’s a scientist. She’ll listen to you if you explain everything. She’s too curious and logical not to.”
Christ, he hoped so. But he couldn’t even think about having that conversation until this whole fucking mess was dealt with.
“Your mom’s gonna be okay. And you will be too.”
He made himself give another nod, even though he didn’t believe either of those things right now. “It’s never been this bad before. She’s never been like this…” His throat closed up. He squeezed his eyes shut, pressed his lips together. Was this how it was going to be for the rest of her life?
Fuck me. All his money, all his connections and care, and none of it had helped his mother.
“You’ll get her a new medical team. They’ll stabilize her.”
He was all out of hope. “I should have taken her to the private clinic.”
When she’d showed those first hints of instability, he should have followed his gut and taken her from the hospital to the private clinic. But, no, he’d been impatient to get her settled so he could fly back to the island and be with Xanthe.
It seemed so fucking selfish now, and they’d all paid the price for it.
“You can’t blame yourself for this, Blaine. It’s ridiculous, and you know it. And by the way, you literally just saved her life.”
He didn’t answer. Didn’t know how much time passed as they sat there together on the floor, listening to his mother’s slow, even breathing.
The front door opened below. “Blaine? Maddy?” Rafe’s deep voice called out.
“Up here,” she called back.
Rafe appeared in the open bedroom doorway. He took in the scene with a single sweep and immediately went to Blaine’s mother on the bed to check her carotid pulse. “What happened?”
Maddy stayed with him as he explained, humiliation burning bright. Paramedics arrived and took charge of his mother, checking her vitals and ensuring she was restrained securely on the gurney before loading her into the ambulance waiting outside the front door.
Blaine got in the back with her, a hollow numbness engulfing him as they drove for the hospital. He had a long night ahead of him. Had to get his mom back to the mainland and get something secure in place until they could figure out what was wrong and how to stabilize her.
He couldn’t leave her until all that was arranged. That was the very least he owed her.
But it was clear she would never live independently after this. She needed someone with her twenty-four-seven to make sure this never happened again.