Chapter 41
FORTY-ONE
“O h, I love this one,” his mom said to him four nights later, curled up on the couch beside him to watch a movie together.
“I know. That’s why I turned it on.” Blaine reached for the throw blanket on the back of the couch and draped it over her, tucking the edges in.
Hiding the bandages covering her IV sites.
They’d kept her partly sedated for the better part of a day after bringing her to the mainland, giving them time to try and figure out the right combination of drugs to keep her calm and stable.
She shot him a little smile and grabbed the bowl of popcorn from the table beside her, looking so much like her old self, her best self, that his throat tightened. “Extra butter?”
“Would I make it any other way?”
“Just checking.”
He settled in beside her, stretched his legs out to rest his feet on the coffee table as the movie started. They had matching socks on. She was calm. Happy. Back to her best self.
But it had been the longest four days of his life.
Being discreet so he wouldn’t disturb his mom as the movie played, he pulled his phone from his pocket and checked for messages. He’d dimmed the screen earlier.
His heart jumped when he saw that Xanthe had finally responded. He’d called her repeatedly since the morning after he’d kicked her out and had sent texts when he hadn’t received an answer.
We’ll talk when you get back.
There was no hint of her emotions there. But it sounded ominous.
He’d acted like such an asshole. Since she wouldn’t talk to him yet, he’d been forced to apologize via text. He’d sent flowers too. A little stuffed orca with a card that said Whale You Forgive Me . A basket of chocolates.
Not ideal, but he wanted her to know he was genuinely sorry for how he’d reacted. He only wanted the chance to explain everything face to face.
“Who is she?”
He looked over at his mom, startled. “What?”
She raised an eyebrow, her gaze clear and sharp. He’d missed seeing that. “Please. I’ve known you your entire life. I know there’s a girl.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
She grabbed the remote from between them, surprised him by turning off the TV. “It does matter. Who is she?”
He sighed, unsure how much to tell her. She’d been stable for the past three days since they’d put her back on a new, carefully monitored med schedule. The previous team had gotten it disastrously wrong and had all been fired. He’d started legal proceedings against them.
A new, private team was now in place, including two full-time caregivers who lived in this penthouse condo with her to monitor her twenty-four-seven. They were all paid handsomely for their care, expertise, and discretion. Best of all, they cared about her as a person, not merely as a paycheck.
“Just someone I started seeing recently,” he said.
Her eyes searched his for a moment. They were the same color as his, and it damned near made him tear up to see his mother staring back at him. After the incident at his house, he’d been terrified he’d lost her forever.
“And?” she prompted, irritation clear in her expression. “What’s her name? What’s she like?”
“Xanthe.”
“Oh, she’s Greek.”
“Greek ancestry, yes. She’s got a PhD in marine biology.”
“Oh, she’s a doctor.” She nodded in approval. “Makes sense. I always knew you’d end up with someone as smart as you.”
“She’s way smarter than I am.” But he hadn’t wound up with anyone, because he’d driven her off.
“Don’t believe that for a second. What’s she like?”
Under the circumstances, he was a bit uncomfortable talking about her. “She’s…not like anyone I’ve ever met,” he finally said.
His mom nodded in approval, a knowing grin spreading across her face. “I like where this is going already. Continue.” She grabbed a handful of popcorn, shoved it in her mouth, eyes shining with interest.
He chuckled. “She’s tall. Short dark hair. Incredible silver eyes.” God, he didn’t even have a picture of her on his phone. All he had was his memories of her. They were more precious to him than anything money could buy.
“Silver? Sounds lovely.”
“Gorgeous,” he agreed. “She’s an orca expert, doing research out of Skeleton Island.” And she would continue if he had anything to say about it.
Amongst all the craziness this week, he’d been in touch with the rest of the board and investors, pitching a few ideas that would allow the research station to stay where it was. Most of them were willing to consider the changes. Don and a few others were opposed. Blaine wouldn’t quit though.
“Wait. Does she know about your resort?”
“Oh yeah. That’s how we met. And it wasn’t love at first sight, lemme tell you.”
She grabbed another handful of popcorn, eyes wide. “Tell me everything.”
He did. Slowly at first, still uncertain how much he should say. But then it all tumbled out. Right up until the point he’d come back to the mainland to…
“Does she know about me?” she asked when he paused.
He glanced away. “Sort of.”
“Blaine.” She put a hand on his arm. “What happened?”
Gathering himself, he looked back at her. “She showed up at my house the other day.”
“That day?”
“Yes.”
She paled in the glow of the TV, shame and regret stealing over her face. “How much did she see?”
“Enough.”
“How much?”
“She walked into the room just as I injected you with the tranquilizer.”
She covered her mouth with her hand. Closed her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Mom. You know it wasn’t. That wasn’t you.”
She opened her eyes. Stared at him with a haunted expression. “Is she important to you?”
“Yes.”
A film of tears glistened in her eyes, a tremulous smile on her lips.
“Then you have to fight for her. Go to her. Apologize and explain what happened. Everything. That I wasn’t in my right mind, and you were trying to protect us both.
Get on your knees and beg her to hear you out if she won’t listen. ”
He heaved out a breath. “I know.” He wasn’t too proud to get on his knees and beg Xanthe. “I just…”
“Don’t know how she’ll react.”
“Yeah.”
“She sounds like a smart, sensible person who’s been through a lot. If she cares about you even half as much as you care about her, she’ll listen.”
He wanted to believe that. But this part of his life, this constant worry, wasn’t going to end while his mom was still alive. Was it even fair to ask Xanthe to ride this rollercoaster with him, never knowing what was coming next?
No, but she still at least deserved to know the truth. Even if she kicked his ass to the curb afterward, he still had to tell her.
“When are you going home?” his mom asked when he didn’t answer.
“Not sure yet. I want to see how?—”
“Honey, I’m fine. I’m better than I’ve been in months. Years, maybe, and I’ve got people here to make sure everything stays fine.”
He didn’t trust it. She seemed great now, but she’d been more unstable recently than she’d been since her initial diagnosis. He was afraid she might have another episode if he left.
Taking her to Skeleton Island wasn’t an option. She needed constant care and structure. To be in the city with top quality medical care ready at a moment’s notice. And this building was ten times safer for her than he could ever make his ocean-view house.
“You know what I think?” she asked when he didn’t respond.
“What?”
“We both need to move forward now. To try to put this whole ugly business behind us.” She squeezed his hand. “I want you to be happy. Desperately. You deserve to be happy, son. I love you so much. I would rather die than be the reason you hold back from being with the woman you love.”
Looking down, he saw the scars on her forearm. Knew there were more self-inflicted ones on her body. God, he was scared to leave her.
“I’m okay,” she insisted. “Really.”
“Let’s see how you feel in the morning,” he said gently. “I’m not ready to leave yet.” He draped an arm across her shoulders. “Not when I just got you back.”
The smile she gave him was so full of love and pride, his chest hurt. “Okay. But pack your stuff before you go to bed tonight, because I’m kicking you out right after breakfast.”
With that she turned the TV back on, hit play. Leaned her head against his shoulder as the movie started back up.
A bittersweet ache filled his ribcage until the pressure hurt. This felt just like old times. The old good times when she’d been stable and happy. Just the two of them hanging out.
If only this could last the rest of her life. She deserved peace and stability after everything she’d suffered. So did Xanthe, although their circumstances were different.
His mom had always been there for him, even while battling the darkness of her mental illness. He would do anything for her. Had tried to support and protect her throughout his life.
But not even all his effort and money could protect her from the chemical demons in her brain.