18. Zeth #2
I bit the inside of my lip to keep from asking Anna how many cars she owned. She probably had one for each day of the week. I wasn’t feeling very fond of her as she led us across the street.
“It’s such a nice day,” she said, wiping at the pink imprints left on her cheeks from her goggles. “I’d love to have you both over for tea and lunch after Chapel, if you’d like.”
“That sounds delightful,” Millie said for us both, before I could even get a word in. When she eyed me, I sent her a tight smile.
“Actually, I made plans with Amby after Chapel,” I admitted in a conversational tone that didn’t keep pace with my racing pulse. I didn’t want to insult Anna, but there was no way I would join her for refreshments when Amby wished to speak with me. “May I join you another time?”
When we reached the sidewalk in front of the chapel, Anna gave my shoulder a friendly pat. “Of course, you should visit with Amby. As my mother used to say, sometimes you meet people you can’t forget. Those are your friends.”
Friends… and in this case, hopefully lovers. Heaven help me, I truly was a cad.
“I’ll take Millie with me this afternoon, then.” Annabelle continued. “My next event is at the Washington salon. I’d love for you both to attend as my guests.”
“We would love that,” I answered smoothly for Millie and me, but my head hurt just thinking about it. A salon would toss us even more into Everdeen’s elite, with Anna at my side. Was Amby attending too? If I could spend time with him, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.
The Chapel bells chimed loudly from above, calling in the lingering parishioners.
We arrived right on time. So much for my plan to arrive late and sneak in the back.
I held my arm out to Millie, waiting for her to take it, while I searched for Amby’s auburn curls among those entering.
He wasn’t there. Maybe he was sitting already.
I anticipated seeing him dressed in his Chapel best.
Millie took my arm, and I turned to her with an encouraging smile, only to find Anna.
She regarded me softly, her lacy gloved hand tucking tighter against me.
I didn’t even mean to offer my arm to her.
Yet there she was, already tugging me up the steps.
We looked like a courting couple in front of the whole congregation. If we walked in like this…
My mouth went dry while Millie hopped over to my other side. I don’t know why she shot me an angry glare, but when she glanced over at Anna, they both shared a knowing glance. Perhaps they thought it was cute, both being on my arm. I didn’t find it cute. I actually felt a bit sick.
The townsfolk at the entrance greeted Anna and turned curious eyes upon my sister and me. Anna replied to them all by name, introducing us quickly as we shuffled through the wide doors.
When I planned to come to Chapel today, I didn’t envision entering with Anna.
Yet here I was about to reach my goal of marriage and stability.
A goal which promised an undetermined number of cars, an estimated sixteen tea sets, one plush chair, and a pretty vase.
And Anna Winters, I shouldn’t forget her.
So why did I want Amby’s porch rocker instead?
And Amby’s teasing brown eyes through golden frames.
And that dimpled smile that brightened the whole room.
And that gentle hand trailing along my bare back that almost made me cry in his arms. I wanted to talk with him today, and afterward maybe kiss him, and walk with him.
“I like the music,” Millie piped up.
Chapel, right. I snapped back to the present.
Music? Only then did I notice an organ playing from a balcony above the entrance.
Tall pipes lined the front of the long chamber, their metal tubes reaching for the high ceiling.
I admired the beautiful instrument and architecture while Anna pulled me toward an open pew.
Anna went in first. Did she want us to follow? This was her family’s pew. If we sat here, it was like accepting a marriage proposal…
Millie slipped in next, quick as a wink.
I reluctantly scooted into the Winters’ pew and sat down, enjoying the end of the aisle beside Millie because that gave me space to stretch out my legs.
I did so slightly now and looked across the aisle to find a familiar auburn head facing me from the other side.
Those same brown eyes I longed for were now widening behind his glasses.
That adorable mouth dropped open slightly before tightening into a pout, and then those cheeks turned pink before he turned to face the front of the chapel. He was clearly upset.
Fuck.
This wasn’t how I wished for today to go.
I should have sat elsewhere, but I was also glad to have him so close.
My whole body sang in response to seeing him.
That wasn’t good. Not good at all. How would we hide an affair if I couldn’t control myself around him?
I sat up and swallowed, tucking my leg back in.
Then I faced the front where a few people were taking their places to start service.
Stealing a sideways glance, I was relieved to see Amby busy with Hattie.
She held a book and showed him something while Amby nodded.
His curls looked soft today, his back lean and straight under a well-fitted jacket in deep blue that paired well with his fair skin.
The black ascot tucked into his high collar didn’t fit Amby’s style, but there was no denying how handsome it was on him as he sat with his fancy family.
When Hattie raised her head, I caught her eye by accident. She waved so violently that her blonde ringlets fluttered. It was too late to avoid her, so I waved back.
“Zeth! So good to see you here!” Hattie whisper-yelled over Amby’s shoulder.
Amby shut his eyes and ignored us, keeping his face straight forward.
Then Amby’s dad tapped Hattie on her arm and pointed to the front of the chapel. When she turned and sat straight again, he peered around her to look at me.
I stiffened, scared of Mr. Somerset’s disapproval like the little kid I used to be, but the intimidating man actually smiled at me.
His strictly trained mustache moved as he nodded in friendly greeting.
That was encouraging. I thought for sure he would snub me, but then, he did often stop by the laundry to visit with Mum, Uncle, and Memaw.
Maybe he wasn’t as strict and elitist as I remembered.
Hattie leaned forward once more with her hand cupped to whisper across, “We can talk after service.”
I snorted at her foolery. Amby’s little sister wasn’t much different than mine.
She further proved that by nudging Amby’s ribs with her elbow, teasing him for ignoring me, and making his ears quickly redden.
I felt his big brotherly pain. Millie was actually behaving, for once.
She and Anna sat close so they could share a book.
The music swelled and the congregation stood.
I followed, feeling awkward once everyone began to sing.
I didn’t know the song but Amby did. His lovely baritone crossed the aisle.
He didn’t even have a music book. He had the words memorized.
And he was standing so stiffly, not enjoying the music at all.
Did he like attending service? I couldn’t recall, but he always seemed more interested in the folktales that surrounded Everdeen than any gods. None of it mattered to me.
We sat again, and I settled in next to Millie to listen to the various readings.
One about vines, and another about money.
I couldn’t help but glance over the aisle to see if Amby was listening or staring off into the tall roof.
It was hard to tell. He sometimes watched the readers, and sometimes fiddled with his thumbnail.
What he didn’t do was meet my eye, no matter how long I stared at him, and I knew he sensed me staring.
The Leader stood at the front to speak. I didn’t pay much attention until she emphasized the word infidelity .
Then she said adultery, and a couple behind me tittered some gossip.
It wasn’t about me. I wasn’t married, yet, but I still inched lower in Anna’s pew.
Across the aisle, Amby didn’t appear happy either.
Red rose up his neck until it colored his ears yet again.
Then he tugged at his collar, trying to pull it up, and I spotted what he was trying to hide. My fresh marks on him. Only we knew he carried bruises in other places as well. Fuck me if I didn’t want to claim him again with rough kisses right there in the middle of Chapel, infidelity be damned.
If I wasn’t going to hell before, I was surely going now. My ears were suddenly on fire too, so I straightened and closed my eyes to focus on prayers. Millie wasn’t the only one who needed them.
When a song started again, we all rose, and my eyes wandered. I couldn’t help it. While everyone was looking in their books for the words, Amby sang with his head tilted high. I admired his calm dedication.
When Amby finally turned to face me, he met my gaze with a stone-like expression. I longed for our old camaraderie, so I sent him my most dashing smile, but he rejected me with an angry scowl and used his middle finger to adjust his glasses.
I laughed, because it was better than crying.
Amby was over there fuming, and there was nothing I could do about it.
My uselessness was as frustrating as when I couldn’t help Amby walk home from the tavern.
It was like I was married to Anna already.
She had me tied to her pew while the man who needed me was so close yet out of reach, as if we still lived cities apart.
I couldn’t lose Amby, not again. I wanted him by my side.
I needed him in my life, every day, every moment. Maybe if we—
“What are you doing?” Millie hissed from where she sat on the pew. Beside her, Anna appeared amused.