Chapter 32
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Ryker
Sasha falls to sleep again, but she’s basically on top of me. Not that her weight is a problem, she’s more like a warm weighted blanket, and any other night, she’d put me right to sleep.
But between Sver’s visit and the fact that Killian figured out the truth, I know I’m trying to sleep in a house of cards.
And the whole thing is about to come tumbling down.
I wanted to tell Sasha. I’m going to tell her tomorrow. The longer I go without sharing the truth, the worse it’s going to be.
But when she looked at me with those eyes, her body exposed to me, telling me that she loved me, I just…
I wanted to feel that love just once. No barriers, because once she’s learned what I’ve done, I may never get the chance again.
I close my eyes, hugging her tightly and breathing in her scent.
I finally fall asleep, and wake to the distinct sound of banging.
My eyes fly open, and I realize the sun is bright in the bedroom. I don’t know what time it is, but I know who is likely knocking at the door.
Sasha picks up her head, her eyes sleepy and unfocused. “What’s wrong?”
My phone on the bedside table rings, Triston’s name flashing on the screen. I kiss my woman and then slide out from under her. “You aren’t going to answer?”
“Would you?” I say with a wink even as I head to the shower.
Sasha looks at me, her head cocking before she picks up the phone. “Hello?”
I pause in the doorway, listening.
It must take Triston a moment to recalibrate, because he is silent for two counts before he finally says, “Sasha?”
“Yeah. Sorry. I’m sure you wanted Ryker. He’s in the shower.”
“We were knocking on the door.”
“Strict orders,” she says as she nips her lip, her eyes meeting mine. “I’m not allowed to answer doors.”
Triston lets out a breath. “Of course. I’m sorry.”
“I could let you in—”
I gave a quick shake of my head. My brothers are not telling Sasha what I’ve done before I have a chance. I should have fucking told her last night. I should never have….
There is no undoing it now.
“No, it’s all right. There is a conference room on the fourth floor. We’ll wait there.”
I turn, just as I hear my brother say, “And Sasha, you are our family now. If you need anything, you ask. We’re here for you.”
“Thank you, Triston, I…” Sasha pauses and I do too. Though my back is to her, I can hear the vulnerability in her voice. “I know that you were there the night that my father…I…I haven’t had much family, real family, and I really appreciate what you did. I don’t know how to thank you.”
Fuck. Me.
My brother offering his support to my woman, her appreciation, it’s highlighting all the ways that I have fucked this whole thing up.
He’s there for me and for her. Maybe things haven’t been perfect. Maybe some of that has been my fault from the start.
I don’t mean to, but I slam the bathroom door.
“I’ve got to go,” Sasha says into the phone. And then, “Ryker. Is everything all right?”
Like I need another reason to be an asshole. I open the door again. “Fine, baby. Door just slipped.”
“Oh,” she gives me a smile. “In that case, mind company in the shower?”
I should say no. Or I should tell her the truth. But the idea of her skin against mine, of a few more moments of stolen bliss… “You know I want you wherever I am.”
She gives me the sweetest smile, the kind that steals the air from my lungs as she walks toward me, passing me in the doorway on the way to the shower.
I know I can’t take too long, but I can’t get enough of her either. She strips my shirt over her head and then takes off her panties, stepping into the shower to turn on the spray. The clear edgeless glass means I get to watch as the water starts to run in rivulets down her skin.
“Coming?” she says, catching my eye over her shoulder.
“In about two minutes,” I answer, shucking my boxer briefs down my thighs.
I step into the shower, now not caring about my brothers or even showering.
Stepping up behind Sasha, I pull her into my arms, her back coming to my chest as my hands wrap around her torso.
She pushes up on tiptoe so that my cock nestles into her ass crack. It’s all the invitation I need to slip one hand up to swallow her tit in my palm, while the other cups her pussy, my fingers sliding through her folds.
She’s instantly wet, and I squat down so that my cock can slide up into her waiting pussy.
I feel the stretch, and despite my haste, I go slow with the first thrust, opening her up. But once I’m deep inside her, I shift her weight so that I’m holding her in my arms, her legs wrapped around mine.
It leaves me free to fuck her as fast as I want, and I do, using my strength to hold her while I piston into her waiting pussy.
I can feel her building orgasm as she tightens around my cock, one of her hands and shoulders pressing against the shower wall for support.
I know I’m fucking her like a dying man. In some ways, I feel like I am. I have no idea what will happen today.
I know my commitment remains the same. I’m Sasha’s.
But if she’s still mine…my eyes close as she lets out a keening moan. She breaks, her scream of pleasure tipping me over the edge.
I slump against her back, my forehead coming to the cool tile next to hers. “Baby?”
“Yeah,” she whispers, one of her legs unwrapping from mine to rest on the tile floor.
“Anything you need…you know I’ll give it to you.”
Her other leg unwraps from mine. “Same.”
I kiss that spot on her shoulder not wanting to leave this shower. The water is warm, my woman is soft. The rest of the world can burn.
But I push up and start soaping myself and her. If I get my head in the game, maybe I can fix this whole mess.
We get out of the shower, and I quickly dress.
Sasha, wrapped in a towel, stares at me with big eyes. “Ryker?”
“Yeah?” I ask, tugging on a dress shirt, that I tuck into my slacks.
“I can’t come with you, can I? Downstairs?”
I sigh. “No, baby, but if you need me, I’ll leave you my phone so you can unlock the doors and come down.”
She nods. “You don’t have like math games on your phone, do you?”
“Math games?” I turn to look at her.
She shrugs. “Last night, I wasn’t nervous, but today…I’m just anxious about Sver, my father. Math, it calms me.”
Crossing the room, I head into my office and then come back with my accounting ledger. “Any chance you know how to check these?”
She gives me a glowing smile. “Of course. It was the one thing my father let me do, just because…” She points at her head.
“Good. I’ve got two of them to go through. If you finished one, that would really be a help.”
“For me too,” she whispers. “Keep my mind off things.”
I sit on the bed, pulling on the Italian dress shoes I’ve pulled out from the closet. “I’ll be back soon,” I say as I lean over and kiss her temple, her hair wet, her body still wrapped in a fluffy white towel.
But even with my lips on her, she’s completely focused on the ledger, her finger running down the columns, her lips softly moving like she’s reading to herself. “It’s misadded,” she says to herself.
Then she lifts her eyes, meeting mine. “It’s misadded.”
“You know that already?”
She nods. “I’ll fix them.”
I grab her chin, kissing her lips. “Make yourself coffee first. And maybe dress.”
She starts to blush, and I give her a ghost of a smile back. I don’t mind that she’s single-minded.
I rise, taking her hand and my phone. Walking into the kitchen, I use my phone to hit the elevator.
It dings open and I kiss her one last time, like it might be the last time, before I step inside.
The doors close and the quiet fills the space. I’m about to face the firing squad of my family. It’s going to fucking suck.
When it’s done, I’ll have to tell Sasha the truth. I’ll ask for forgiveness, but I’m not certain I deserve it.
The doors open and I roll my shoulders. Because, while I’m not here to win, this is a war, and I will have to fight.
The conference room door is open, the space made from a converted apartment, but not a sound comes from the room.
I step inside to find my brothers sitting silently around the rectangular table, a space left for me at the head. It’s not a sign of respect.
“Is there coffee?” I ask, ignoring the tension.
No one answers, but I do see the pot in the still-intact kitchen, full and steaming. I cross to it, pouring myself a cup.
Taking a few sips, I turn back to them and take my seat at the head of the table.
Killian sits at the other end, leaned back in his chair.
He is without energy, which is, in and of itself, dangerous.
I take another sip. If this is a waiting game, I’ll sit here all day.
“Do you know what happened to Katarina?” Triston asks, the hand wrapped around his coffee tense enough to break the mug.
“Yes.” I won’t lie. I see his eyes widen for a second, like part of him is surprised. Like part of him wanted to believe it wasn’t true. It cuts me, but I won’t make excuses.
“Did you risk a five-hundred-million-dollar partnership with Dimitri and deal behind our backs?” Triston says through gritted teeth.
I look away, knowing it’s true. I did all of it. “Yes.”
The hiss that moves around the room is followed by palpable energy. “For Sasha?”
My eyes close as my hands rest on my coffee mug. This is the hardest one for me to say. “No.”
“What?” Gris interrupts. “You’re telling me you didn’t do all of this because you love her?”
I crack my neck, by turning my head. Then I look each of my brothers in the eye. “I do love her. But my plan…it had nothing to do with love.”