Chapter 20
DARWYNN
Dinner was civil. Julian decided to go to the small, Chinese restaurant that he loved. The conversation remained on safe topics, even if there was no tension between them. We talked about how the food tasted, a funny memory from Julian’s teenage years, and small talk that filled the silence in just the right moments.
Caspian and Julian were still careful around each other as if stepping on thin ice, but it was progressing. It was something. And I didn’t expect them to fully open up after all these years. Although, Caspian would’ve definitely wanted to.
Now and then, he looked at Julian with unspoken emotions in his eyes. But he didn’t push him. Didn’t want to make him talk when he was perfectly fine sitting there, keeping his past without him in it to herself.
Caspian respected his boundaries. He, in turn, didn’t shut him out completely because he did answer all of his questions. I counted that as a small victory.
By the time we left, the air between us felt much lighter. The drive back home was mostly quiet, with me sitting in the backseat, feeling rather awkward.
When we arrived back at the house, Julian went to prepare Toby’s old bedroom for me. Caspian had decided to sleep on the couch and give me the bedroom. I didn’t like the idea of him sleeping right outside the bedroom I would be in without me being able to get onto the couch next to him. It would be the first night in a while being apart from each other, but what was one night when we had the rest of our lives together?
I smiled at Caspian, daring to step closer while Julian was still in Toby’s room. “I thought today went well,” I said, taking his hand carefully.
He turned to me and nodded, interlocking our fingers as he squeezed my hand. “Yeah, I thought so too. I’m certain he’ll open up to me eventually.”
“I’m sure of it. He needs time.”
He studied me closely and gave a small nod, silently accepting everything that happened today. “I figured so. But I’m pleased, though. Grateful that you made this happen.”
I lifted our hands to my lips and pressed a kiss to the back of his hand, smiling up at him. Our moment was interrupted when Julian back into the living room. I stepped away, putting space between us.
“The guest room is ready,” he said, his voice natural.
Caspian offered a small smile. “Thank you, Julian.”
He nodded, then said, “Well, I’m off to bed. I’ll get us something to eat at the bakery for breakfast tomorrow morning. Good night.”
“Night, Julian.” We watched as he followed the narrow hall to his bedroom. The one I had slept in for months.
Caspian led me to the guest room, and I entered it, looking around before dropping my overnight bag on the bed.
“It’s not much, but it’s enough for one night,” I said, my eyes wandering from the double bed to the nightstand and over to the desk.
“It’ll do.”
Caspian lingered in the doorway, watching as me as I started to unpack. I didn’t want him to leave. Sleeping alone just didn’t sound right.
“Well,” I murmured, turning around to face him, “we should get some rest. You must be tired from the long drive.”
Caspian met my gaze, his lips twitching like he had something to say, but he just nodded. “Yeah.”
I pursed my lips. “You know, just because we’re here doesn’t mean we can’t—”
“Darwynn, Julian is right down the hall.”
I felt a sense of regret in his voice, and I hated that I hadn’t noticed it before. My face fell, and I dropped my gaze to my hands. “You’re not rethinking all of this, are you? This between us?”
He stepped closer the second I uttered those words, and I stared at his feet, unable to look up at him. My heart was racing in my chest, and the most upsetting thoughts flashed in through my mind.
“Darwynn.” His voice was low, raspy. “Look at me.”
I clenched my jaw but didn’t look up. I couldn’t. Not when he was ready to end this.
“Darwynn.” His voice was hard, determined. “I’m not going to ask you again.”
I sighed, furrowing my brows as I tilted my head back.
When his eyes met mine, he reached up with one hand to grip my jaw. His fingertips dug into my skin, and he held me there, not giving me a chance to look away. “I love you. I’m—”
We both held our breaths, and he looked surprised that he even outed those words so casually.
His jaw ticked, and his grip tightened as he swallowed hard. “I love you, and if this trip has done anything, it’s deepening what I feel for you. But I’m really trying hard here not to get us in trouble, all right? So you have to forgive me for not giving you the devotion you deserve. I don’t want Julian to question things.”
I swallowed, my heart pounding as I searched his face. He meant it. Every word. His words settled deep inside my chest, where I would keep them forever.
I managed a nod, then whispered, “Okay, that’s…uh, fair, I guess.”
He chuckled and loosened his grip on my jaw, sliding his fingers down my throat. “Glad we’re on the same page about that.” He leaned in and kissed me. Softly, faintly, then he stepped away. “And you don’t have to say it back. It’s written all over your pretty face that you’re in love with me, too.”
Pursing my lips, I felt my cheeks turn bright red.
God , he was just so…proud.
Proud to love me and proud to be loved by me.
He left the bedroom without giving me another chance to keep him here.
I watched him go back to the couch, and when he gave me a sharp glare, silently telling me to close the door, I did and dragged myself to bed.
***
Three hours later, I was still awake, unable to sleep. My thoughts kept circling back to Caspian—how close he was, just outside the bedroom.
I needed to see him.
Especially after his confession, I wanted to be close to him.
Besides, what fun was it to not sneak around?
Without making a sound, I slid out of bed and tiptoed to the door, easing it open just enough to peek out into the hallway. Everything was still. There was no sound coming from down the hall, and no light was glowing. I knew Julian slept like a rock. My urge to be with Caspian was too strong to stay in bed and close my eyes.
Barefoot, I stepped out of the room, my heart pounding in my chest as I moved toward the living room. The floor creaked beneath me, but I continued until I reached the couch.
I hesitate only for a second before stepping in front of it, looking down at Caspian.
He was lying on his back, but at the sound of me shifting on my feet, he stirred.
“Darwynn?” His voice was rough with sleep.
“Yes, it’s me,” I whispered, stepping closer.
I could barely make out his face in the darkened room, but for some reason, I knew he was frowning. “What are you doing?” he asked, sounding grumpy as he sat up.
I reached down to hook my hand around his arm. “I missed you,” I admitted. “Come to bed with me.”
There was a pause, and I thought he was getting ready to push me away. But then he exhaled and sat up, rubbing his face with one hand. “You’re going to get us in trouble.”
I smirked, even though he couldn’t see it. “Only if we get caught.”
He grunted as he got up, taking a quick glance down the hallway. “How deep does he sleep?”
“Very. Even deeper than me,” I told him silently. “Come on.”
It took him another moment before finally giving in and letting me take him to the bedroom.
Once we were inside, I closed the door behind us and headed to the bed. We got in, and he immediately pulled me against him.
His hand flexed flat on my stomach. His body was pressed against my back, and I breathed in deeply to let him understand just how comfortable I was in his arms.
He buried his face into the crook of my neck, breathing deeply and muttering a curse as he let it back out. “This is exactly why I didn’t want to share a bed with you tonight,” he grunted, pressing his hard cock against my ass.
I bit my lower lip and placed my left hand on his, sliding my fingers through his. “But we’re here now,” I said, keeping my voice quiet.
“Yeah…we are.” He moved his right arm under me, wrapping it around my hips and sliding his hand into my panties without a warning. “And you’re so damn wet. Say, baby, have you been thinking about this all day?”
I let out a shaky breath and nodded, arching my back. “Y-yes,” I admitted.
He ran his fingers through my folds, teasing my entrance and flicking his fingertips against my clit. “Naughty girl,” he murmured into my ear.
His fingers moved over my sensitive flesh, sending shivers through my body. He circled my clit again, slowly, taunting and building the tension as I squirmed against him.
“So responsive,” he growled, nipping at my earlobe. “I bet I could make you come in seconds if you’d only let yourself go.”
I was holding back, that was true, but I didn’t want to come just yet. I was always scared that my body would be too exhausted after two orgasms, and I wanted this to last.
I whimpered softly as he slid two fingers inside me, curling them to that perfect spot. It was the ball of his thumb working my clit now as he pumped his fingers in a steady rhythm.
“That’s it, baby,” he encouraged. “Don’t hold back. I want to feel you come on my hand.”
His words pushed me closer to the edge. I bit my lip to keep from crying out as waves of pleasure washed over me. Caspian held me tight as I shuddered against him, and he lifted his left hand to my mouth to keep my moans muffled.
“Shh, we’re not alone in this apartment,” he whispered.
God, he was not playing nice. As much as he wanted this, he wanted me to understand just how delicate this situation was. We couldn’t get caught, or else our relationship was over in an instant.
When the aftershock decreased, he withdrew his hand, and I heard the rustle of fabric as he pushed down his pajama pants. I got rid of my panties, and he lifted my leg shortly after, hooking his arm around the back of my knee to open me up to him.
“I need to be inside you, and you need to be quiet. You got that, baby?”
“Yes,” I breathed, arching my back again. “I’ll be quiet for you.”
“Good girl.”
He positioned himself at my entrance, sliding his already wet tip through my folds before he pushed inside with one smooth thrust. He filled me completely, and I gasped at the stretch, savoring the feeling fully.
Caspian set a steady pace, his hips thrusting against mine. His left hand gripped my leg to keep it in the air while his other palmed my breast under my shirt, pinching and rolling my nipple.
“God, you feel amazing,” he groaned. “So tight and wet for me. This pussy is mine.”
His words made it impossible for me to keep my feelings on the inside. I wanted to scream and moan. To order him to fuck me even harder, but that would most likely wake Julian. And even I didn’t want to risk that.
“That’s right, take my cock,” Caspian whispered harshly. “Such a good girl for me.”
He angled his hips, hitting deeper with each thrust. I buried my face on the pillow to muffle my moans as the pleasure built once again.
“Are you doing to come for me again?” Caspian asked, his breath hot against my neck. “I want to feel you squeeze my cock as you fall apart.”
His fingers found my clit, rubbing quick circles as he pounded into me. The dual stimulation was overwhelming.
“Caspian,” I whimpered. “I’m so close.”
“Come, baby,” he commanded. “Come all over my hard cock. Make that pussy squeeze around it.”
With a few more hard thrusts, I fell over the edge. My inner walls clenched around him as ecstasy flooded my senses. Caspian groaned, his hips stuttering as he followed me into bliss. I felt the warmth of his release as he buried deep, holding himself there.
We both breathed heavily.
“Don’t move yet,” I whispered, needing him to stay inside of me for a while longer.
He wrapped his arms around me tightly as we both came down from our highs, but I knew once our breathing was steady, we would do it all over again.
***
I spent the next morning trying not to wince from the soreness between my legs. Caspian and I stayed awake for two more hours, fucking as silently as possible while Julian was sleeping in the other room.
This morning, he didn’t look like he had heard us, which was a relief.
Caspian and I acted normal, not letting anything show.
He sat in front of me, focused on his coffee and the morning newspaper in front of him, while Julian moved around the kitchen to get everything onto the table.
He went to the bakery while Caspian and I took turns taking showers in the bathroom.
No one spoke much once we started to eat, just quiet murmurs here and there, the occasional request to pass the butter. If Julian had heard anything last night, he gave no indication.
Then again, if I were in his shoes, I wouldn’t know how to act.
After breakfast, Caspian and I went to pack our bags.
Julian lingered in the doorway, watching without saying much. After I zipped the bag, I turned to face him.
“I guess we won’t see each other much anymore,” he said with a tight smile.
I nodded, my lips pressing together. “We can still call and text. We’re friends, right?”
He swallowed, unsure of what to say to that. “Yeah, I guess so.”
A beat of silence passed between us before he stepped forward and pulled me into a hug. It wasn’t tight, but it wasn’t hesitant either. Just firm, steady, and full of things left unspoken.
“I know this was all you. And I’m not as ungrateful as you think I am. I truly admire how kind your heart is. I haven’t really appreciated that when we were together.”
I didn’t like the words he outed, but I couldn’t lie and say he was wrong.
“You don’t have to say anything,” he said, pulling away from me, and holding me at arm-length with his hands on my shoulders. “I have a lot of growing and thinking to do. It’ll take time, but I’m here if you ever need me.”
I smiled gently.
This has turned out better than I ever could’ve imagined. “Thank you, Jule. I’m here for you, too.”
“I know. You always have been.”
I nodded and gave him another hug before he carried my bag to the living room where Caspian was waiting for us.
“Ready?” he asked, glancing between us.
“Yes, ready.”
Once we got downstairs and put our two bags into the car, we turned back to Julian, and I gave him a small wave. “Thank you for letting us stay. And for breakfast.”
“Of course,” he said before his eyes met Caspian’s. “I’ll call.”
Caspian nodded. “Take your time, son.”
Something sparked in Julian’s gaze.
At first I thought we were leaving without them hugging. That was the least they could’ve done. And to my surprise, it was Julian taking a step forward to give Caspian a hug.
They stood there for a moment, then he pulled away, his smile tight.
With that, we got into the car. As Caspian pulled out of the driveway, I glanced back one last time. Julian still stood there, his arms crossed over his chest, watching us go.
He looked relieved, but a hint of sadness had lingered in his eyes all morning long.
He would miss Caspian. Not too much.
And I knew his promised call would come way sooner than either of them expected.
***
Two days later, the call came.
I was sitting on the couch, reading a book, when Caspian walked into the living room with his phone pressed to his ear, looking as hopeful as ever.
He mouthed “Julian,” and pointed to the phone, and I gave him two thumbs up, sitting up in excitement.
The conversation was quick, and I only heard bits of it.
But when they hung up, Caspian told me every single detail.
“He’s coming over on Christmas,” he said, a bright smile on his lips.
“Oh, that’s amazing!” I got up and hugged him. “I’m so happy it worked out. You deserve this, Caz.”
He rubbed my back and held me tightly, letting everything sink in for a moment. “I hope I do. I missed him. God, I can’t explain how I feel right now.”
I leaned back slightly to look at him, smiling gently. “You have time to absorb it all. I’m so happy for you, truly.”
He smiled and leaned down to kiss me. “I’ve always hated Christmas,” he admitted, pulling away from me. “But with Julian and you—”
He fell silent, and I knew what the problem was now.
I reached up to cup his face, gently caressing his cheeks with my thumbs. “We still have time to figure out how to tell him about us. Let’s not stress it.”
He studied me carefully, then let out a heavy breath. “You’re right.” He gave me a grateful smile before pulling me back into his arms, holding me close. “I must’ve done something incredible to deserve you.”
I chuckled softly, tilting my head. “Who knows? Maybe you were a hero in another life, a king who saved his people.” I traced my fingers along the side of his neck. “But in this life, you’re the king of my heart.”
Caspian let out a breathy laugh. “Always so damn good with your words.”
I grinned. “It’s a gift.”
He tightened his arms around me, his voice barely above a whisper. “Best gift I’ve ever gotten.”