Chapter 29 Dahlia #2
He slumps in his office chair, and we watch each other in stilted silence for long minutes. All I want to do is to bridge the rift I caused, but I don’t know how.
“No one else but me?” I ask, tone dipped in vulnerability.
“No one else but you,” he vows.
I palm my chest as if wanting to capture his love for me, and whisper. “Do you really want me to leave?”
He shuts his eyes for a second. “That’s your decision.”
“I don’t want to make this decision on my own.”
He arches a brow, puffing out a condescending breath of air. “You did it when we returned. This is no different.”
“You’re punishing me, Mika. Stop it, please,” I murmur.
He slams a fist into his chest. “What do you want from me? Just tell me. Let’s be done with it.”
Done? He wants to be done.
I blink at him, causing some tears to slip down my face. Provoking him and him pretending to be mad at me was our foreplay. This interaction feels different. He’s exhausted—of me. Most probably of all I represent.
“I’ll leave then.” Even if it will kill me. I stand up on shaky legs, the abyss threatening to swallow me. “Take care of yourself. Please.”
“That’s all you came for? To make sure I’m fine?” He air quotes fine, twisting the knife harder as if I don’t suffer enough.
I remain rooted in place, placing my hand on my chest in a display to offer him my heart. “No. That’s not all. I’m so incredibly sorry for hurting you. I love you so much, Mika, I’d sacrifice my heart, my happiness, my life for yours.”
He stabs me with a look choked full of accusation. “Interesting way of showing me.”
A small smile tugs at the corners of my mouth. “It sucks, doesn’t it? Loving someone and not being able to be with them? You’re lashing out at the wrong person. I’ve loved you for longer. Stop behaving like a child.”
I take a step when he yanks a drawer and slaps a revolver on his desk.
“I’m the child. Fine. Let’s play a little game. You love your games, don’t you, baby girl?” His voice drops to an icy tone, freezing me in place.
My heart threatens to explode noticing him taking the bullets out. Only one remains. The rest roll around on his desk just like the contents of my belly.
“Russian Roulette,” he says, sounding dead.
“Don’t you dare,” I gulp and rush to him to stop him, but he’s faster. Muzzle digging into his temple, he fires one that paralyzes the blood in my veins.
The pop rings in my ears, deafening me.
Another follows, not allowing me to break through the shock.
“Mika, stop. What are you doing? Do you want to die?” I hold my head between my hands as if wanting to squish the thought.
This can’t be happening. It’s a nightmare. He would never be this cruel and abandon me. I’ll wake up any moment now.
His lifeless stare freezes me in place. “Yes, because I’m dead without you.”
Another shot blasts through, followed by an eerie silence. No hole. No blood. He’s still alive while my heart threatens to give up, crumbling under his cruel decision.
How many so far? I try to remember while knowing the chances diminish with each shot. One could take him away from me for good, but I can’t reach him. He’s too far gone.
“Mika, stop. Please, baby. Please, don’t do this to me. I’ll never forgive you. Never.” Tears run down my cheeks, and I palm my chest, willing it to be strong.
As long as he’s alive, we have a reason to live. I can’t give up. The realization crashes down on me with such force that it almost knocks me over.
He still holds the muzzle to his temple, his index finger wavering on the trigger.
Without breaking eye contact, I hold his gaze hostage just like he holds my heart captive. “If you die, I’ll rip my heart out right next to you,” I say calmly, smiling in resignation.
If death is the only way we can be together, so be it.
That stops his sick game, and he lowers the gun to the desk.
The relief doesn’t overshadow the coldness taking over my being. I wrap my arms around myself, feeling so cold, lost without him. My teeth clatter under the wave of shivers rolling through my insides.
He whispers, shame pulling at his lids that close for a second. “I’m sorry, malishka.”
I collapse onto my hands and knees, not being able to hold myself upright a second longer. The thought of losing him debilitates me. I sob, letting the poison out.
In an instant, he’s by my side, wrapping his arms around me and infusing some much-needed heat. “Shh, baby girl. I’m sorry. So fucking sorry, zhizn moya.”
I pummel his chest, saying through another sob. “Don’t do that to me ever again!”
“I won’t.” His face hardens to stone. “Don’t put that fucking show on ever again.”
“I won’t,” I say through a hiccup. “Sorry for being a brat.”
His features soften. He kisses my forehead, brushing my tears away. “You’re my brat.”
“I am. And stop saying I’m confused, Mika. I thought I would do a selfless thing for once.”
He chuckles and cups my cheek. “I don’t even care anymore. I’m yours to do whatever the fuck you want, love or leave, play with or keep.”
I shake my head just as forcefully as I want him to believe me. “Love. Keep. Never leave, and you love when I’m a brat. And my favorite game is to provoke you, so get used to it.”
He cocks his head, smiling as if unburdened. Caressing down my back, he soothes my bruised heart. His heart beats under my palm, anchoring me. He’s here with me. I haven’t lost him.
“Why are you really here, baby girl?”
Our eyes lock.
“To do what I should have done from the beginning. Not let fears sabotage us. Can you live without me?”
“No.”
“It’s the same for me. I love you, Mika. And if you ever stay away from me, I’ll never have sex with you again,” I try for a firm tone, but the grin teasing his lips makes it impossible to keep up the charade.
“That’s quite the punishment. And baby girl, if you ever break up with me again, I will tie you to my bed and edge you so long you’ll never forget.”
“I’ll never leave you again. I promise,” I rush to assure him.
A shudder runs down his body, causing his whole body to tremble. “God, I thought you came to say goodbye. Every day I’ve waited for someone to inform me you left, dreading the moment. I was ready to end my miserable life.”
I palm his cheek, and he leans into my touch as if needing my warmth to stay alive. Inching closer, I brush my nose against his to comfort him or get even closer to him, I don’t know. “I choose you. Only ever you. And Mika mine, if you’re not in my life, then mine has no meaning.”
We’re trapped once again in a dream, ignoring reality. But I don’t care.
“Give me back the days we lost before we tell my brother,” I murmur.
He opens his mouth, surely to protest, but I cut him off. “I had a week straight from hell, and I want to have you just for myself before we tell him. And after my concert, I’m going to jump into your arms and announce to the world that we’re together. We’ll face him afterward.”
“Quite a bold statement.”
My eyes bore into his. “Why? Not planning on making me yours?”
“You already are fucking mine,” he states and slams his mouth on mine.
Everything in my world renews. Spring blossoms in my chest, kissing alive the heart that slowly withered away under winter’s merciless frost.
He pushes me against the wall and lifts me up by the ass. Instant heat rushes through my body, making me burn hotter. Every passionate touch and fiery kiss is a testament to him coming undone for me.
He rips my thong, the material tearing and falling down my legs in ruined strands of fabric.
Unzipping himself, he thrusts himself into me in one go that has me rolling my eyes back in their sockets.
I cry out his name, a stuttering moan falling from my lips.
Yes, this is it—what I’ve missed, what I can’t live without—the joining of our hearts as our bodies connect.
His fingers dig into my thigh and ass as he fucks me against the door. This time feels different. A primal claiming.
It feels so good, I throw my head back and scratch along his back. To hold on to him forever, mark him like he did me.
“Yeah, mark me. Take me. I shaped this pussy to my cock. It bled for me. It stretches to accommodate me. It will welcome me home for the rest of my life.”
A tremor rocks me, the pleasure divine—aroused both physically and emotionally.
He bites into my earlobe. “You like knowing you’re my good girl who offers me whatever hole I want to use?”
Rapture rocks through me, the release just in touch when his hand flies to my throat, saying above my lips. “Look at me when you come.”
I can’t hold it any longer, so I cry out, never losing eye contact.
He fucks me through my orgasm, prolonging my release so that I don’t stop coming for long minutes.
Carrying me to his desk, he pushes me down on my back, sweeping away the contents that fall to the ground, discarded just like our sorrows.
Not wanting to lose a moment of him taking me, I watch as he lifts my dress to my waist and splays his hand over my throat. The possessive touch ignites a throb in my core, my pussy pulsing with raw need.
My thighs clench, smearing the juices while his steel cock looks ready to impale me.
“I won’t be gentle. Not after I’ve longed for you to the point of insanity,” he groans.
“Then take me like the madman I’ve turned you into,” I breathe out.
Ramming inside of me with such a force, my soul leaves my body and returns with my next deep inhale. He stays buried inside me, filling me so completely that tears gather in my eyes.
Bending over me, he licks my cheek and nibbles along my lips. “Too much, baby girl?”
“No. Just full. So full, Mika,” I moan, my fingernails clawing into his chest, to hold on to him and not slip into delirium.
“Hmm, I want to fill you until you overflow with my seed and I knock you the fuck up,” he groans, slowly pulling out. The sensation is so maddeningly good, I lose my damn mind.
“Do it,” I urge him, wanting to give him everything and more.
Features pulled taut with sheer delight, he grits out as he drives into me with one fiery thrust. “Then fucking get rid of the pill before I do it for you.”
Should this make me this hot?
Between his deep thrusts and the baby talk, I come again on a stuttered moan.
Nibbling along my neck, he whispers, “Good girl. You come so beautifully for me.”
Then he pushes one more time into me and erupts, staying buried in me until he softens.
As he pulls out, his cum and my juices spill, trickling out of me, but he gathers them with his thumb and pushes them back inside.
I bite my lip. “It still won’t work.”
“I know,” he mumbles. “But there’s a one percent chance.”
I giggle. “You want to beat the odds?”
He arches an arrogant brow, telling me I should know better. “I will.”
I have the impression we’re talking about more than a potential pregnancy. My brain swims in a cocktail of endorphins that delights me. Being back with him encompasses everything to me. Home. Happiness. Love.
My body arches up, and I lock my arms around his neck. “Open communication. We don’t retreat into our heads. And we don’t separate again. Whatever it costs.”
He caresses my cheek, eyes shining with pure adoration and unfiltered anguish. “Are you sure, baby girl? Absolutely sure?”
“I haven’t been sure of anything else in my entire life.”
He smiles so brightly as my words pulverize the shadow of doubt.
Pecking his lips, I play with the ends of his hair. “You have always been my biggest dream. I want it all with you. A family, to continue playing, and to become a renowned pianist. But I refuse to give one up. I can and will have both. Will you support me?”
Even though I know the answer, I need to hear it.
“Always, baby. I’ll make sure you get whatever you want and not one thing less,” he says it like an oath I know he will live by.
“You’re the best man.” He’s about to protest, but I cut him off by saying, “For me. To me. Everything else I don’t care about.
Never did. Never will. Even if the world paints you as a monster.
Fears you like the devil. I’ll never stop loving you.
To me, you’re pure life, unbound beauty, and endless joy. ”
“Never leave me again.” His eyes glisten, overcome with emotion.
Eliciting such a potent response only reinforces my belief.
I look him deep in his eyes. “I swear. I’m sorry.”
“Now let’s go home.”
When I notice where that is, I cup my mouth, crying and smiling simultaneously.
His.
He brought me to his place.