11. Julian
JULIAN
F elix doesn’t know it, but I’m on fucking cloud nine. I don’t remember the last time I felt like this, like I won something far more valuable than any fight. The memory of him—his touch, the way he kissed me like he was desperate to hold on—burns bright in my mind. He let me share a part of my world with him, the part most people would run from. But not Felix. He stayed. He saw me, and he didn’t run.
After we cleaned ourselves up, Felix acted all shy. It was fucking adorable. I wanted to take him home and do it all over again, but I knew that would be too much for him to handle in one night. I took him home and kissed him at the door like the gentleman I am.
I don’t kiss and tell, but word gets around fast. It always does. The fighting ring was packed that night, and people talk. My phone’s been buzzing all morning with questions, thinly veiled threats, and rumors I don’t have time for. Someone saw me with Felix, and now the wrong ears have heard about it.
By midday, it’s not just whispers anymore. The Greco family name is dragged into it. They think Felix is something more than what he is—something more dangerous. I should have known this would happen, but I was too caught up in the moment to care.
I need to string Ricky up by his toes, because now Elijah is chewing me out.
“Elijah, I don’t have time for this,” I snap as I slam my locker door shut.
“You’d better make time.” His voice is calm, but there’s a weight to it that makes me pause. When I turn, he’s leaning against the wall, arms crossed, his sharp eyes cutting through me like a blade.
“What now?” I ask, trying to sound indifferent.
Elijah pushes off the wall and steps closer, his voice low. “Word’s out about the guy you brought to the fight the other night.”
My stomach tightens, but I keep my face neutral. “So what?”
“So what?” he repeats, his tone mocking. “Are you serious? You know how this works, Julian. People talk, and not just our people. It won’t take long for the rumors to hit the wrong ears.”
I fold my arms and force myself to stand my ground. “It’s not like he’s a threat.”
Elijah laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “Doesn’t matter. All it takes is one idiot thinking he can use Felix against you, or worse, the family. You know how fast that can spiral.”
“Felix isn’t part of this,” I say firmly.
“Doesn’t matter what you think,” Elijah shoots back, his voice hardening. “What matters is perception. And right now, people are asking questions about who he is, why you brought him there, and whether you’re losing your edge.”
I clench my fists, the weight of his words sinking in. He’s right, and I hate it.
Elijah softens slightly, his tone shifting. “Look, I’m not here to lecture you. But you’re walking a fine line, Julian. If you want to keep him safe, you need to make sure he stays out of sight. And you need to start being smarter about where you take him.”
I meet his gaze, my jaw tight. “I hear you.”
“Good.” He claps a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it briefly. “Because if I heard about it, so will the others. And they won’t be as forgiving.”
I nod. “I’ll handle it.”
As he walks away, I lean against the lockers, my head spinning. I knew bringing Felix to the fight was risky, but hearing Elijah spell it out makes it real in a way I wasn’t ready for.
???
The room is dark and reeks of sweat, stale beer, and cheap cologne. My crew stands in a loose circle around Ricky, who’s kneeling in the middle of the concrete floor. His head is down, his shoulders trembling like a cornered rat.
“Ricky,” I say, my voice calm but carrying enough weight to make the air seem heavier. “You know why we’re here, right?”
He flinches, but nods. “Y-yeah, boss. I-I didn’t mean nothin’ by it.”
I step forward, the sound of my boots echoing in the small space. “Didn’t mean anything?” I crouch to his level, tilting my head as I look at him. “So what was it, then? You were bored? Felt like running your mouth about things that don’t concern you?”
“Please, Julian,” he stammers, glancing up at me with watery eyes. “I swear, I didn’t?—”
“Shut up,” I snap, my voice slicing through the room like a whip. Ricky freezes, his mouth snapping shut. “All I wanted was a horny fuck in a back room and now it’s everybody’s fucking business !”
The tension in the air is electric, and I can feel the eyes of my crew on me. They’re waiting to see how I handle this, how I reestablish that I’m not to be crossed.
I rise to my feet, taking a deep breath as I walk around him. My hands flex at my sides, the familiar heat of anger coiling in my chest. “Do you know what happens to snitches, Ricky?”
He doesn’t answer, and I deliver a sharp kick to his ribs. He crumples with a grunt, gasping for air.
“Answer me!” I shout, my voice echoing off the walls.
“They get what’s coming to them,” he wheezes as he clutches his side.
“Damn right.” I crouch again, gripping his chin and forcing him to look at me. “Do you think you’re special? That you can spill my shit and walk away untouched?”
“N-no,” he chokes out, tears streaming down his face.
“Good,” I say, releasing him with a shove. “Because I don’t tolerate betrayal. I’m your boss. Not Elijah. Not dear old dad. Me .”
I stand and glance at the nearest crew member. “Hand me that.”
A length of steel pipe is placed in my hand, its weight cold and familiar. I grip it tightly and turn back to Ricky, who’s trembling like a leaf.
“Get up,” I command.
He doesn’t move.
“Ooooh, you’re a fucking snitch and a coward?” I nod at two of my men, who haul him to his feet.
“I want everyone here to understand,” I say, my voice steady and deliberate, “what happens when you mess with me. Ricky here thought he could open his mouth about things he didn’t understand. Thought he could embarrass me.” I smile coldly. “Let’s make sure he doesn’t make that mistake again.”
The first swing is aimed at his stomach, and the pipe hits with a dull, sickening thud. Ricky screams and doubles over, but the men holding him force him upright.
I hit him again. And again. My blood roars in my ears, but I’m careful. Calculated. Every swing is deliberate—enough to make a point, but not enough to kill.
By the time I’m done, Ricky is a sobbing, broken mess. His face is swollen, his lip split, his shirt soaked with blood. I drop the pipe, letting it clatter loudly to the floor, and step closer.
“Let this be a lesson,” I say coldly. “I’m not someone you cross. Not now, not ever.”
I grab Ricky’s collar, forcing him to meet my eyes. “And if you so much as breathe my name to anyone again, I’ll fucking bury you. Got it?”
He nods frantically, his words garbled through sobs.
I let him go and shove him to the ground. Turning to my crew, I meet each of their gazes, my voice steady and unflinching. “Anyone else feel like testing me?”
Silence. No one dares meet my eyes.
“Good,” I say, brushing off my hands. “Now clean this up.”
As I walk out, I don’t look back. My chest feels tight, a familiar cocktail of pride and disgust churning in my gut. This is the life, I remind myself. This is who I am.
And yet, the thought of Felix’s face flashes in my mind.
I pull out my phone, keeping my message vague but firm.
Julian: Need to talk. Be ready in an hour.
When I pull up outside his building, he’s already waiting. He’s wearing a black jacket over his usual casual clothes, and the glow of the streetlights dances in his eyes. He looks cautious but not scared, one hand resting in his pocket while the other hangs at his side. It’s one of the things I admire most about him—his calm, unshakable exterior, even when I know he’s got a hundred questions swirling in his head.
He doesn’t ask where we’re going. He just gets in the car, his presence grounding me even as the tension hums between us.
The drive is quiet. Felix doesn’t push, but I can feel his gaze flick to me occasionally, waiting. Testing the waters. The silence stretches until it feels like the inside of the car might crack from it, but I don’t speak. Not yet.
When we reach the safe house, I park and gesture for him to follow me inside. The place is small and nondescript—bare walls, threadbare furniture, the faint smell of bleach lingering in the air. It’s functional, meant for laying low when things go sideways, and right now, it feels like the safest place in the world to have this conversation.
“This is...cozy,” Felix says, his voice laced with dry humor as he surveys the room.
I close the door behind us and turn to face him, searching for the right words. “I brought you here because it’s safe. And because there are things you need to know before this gets out of hand.”
He crosses his arms and leans against the wall, his sharp gaze pinning me in place. “Out of hand how?”
I hesitate, then sit on the edge of the worn couch and gesture for him to join me. He doesn’t move. His eyes stay locked on mine, demanding answers.
“People are talking,” I finally admit. “About you. About me. About what they think you are to me.”
His expression hardens, his voice steady but cold. “And what do they think I am?”
I let out a frustrated breath and run a hand through my hair. “They think you’re a liability. Or a threat. Either way, it’s bad.”
“Because of your connection to the Greco family,” he says, his voice low, but I catch the flicker of anger beneath it.
“Yeah,” I say, meeting his eyes. “But I’m not like the rest of them, Felix. I need you to understand that. I’m not looking to pull you into this world, but it’s not easy to step out of it, either.”
For a moment, he doesn’t respond, and the silence feels heavier than any fight I’ve been in.
“Have I ever told you how my father died?” he says, his tone steady but charged.
“No.”
But I already know how he died.
His eyes don’t meet mine. “The mafia killed him.”
Someone beat him to death.
“Felix...” I reach for him, but he steps out of my reach.
“He borrowed money from a rival group, thinking he could repay it. But when he couldn’t, they killed him.”
Felix was there when they killed him. He was only ten years old.
My heart shudders in my chest. My split knuckles suddenly sting. The weight of his confession hangs heavy in the air, and I feel a pang of guilt for the world I’m a part of—a world that has caused him so much pain.
He pulls away slightly, his gaze hardening. “So I’m already fucking involved, Julian.”
I swallow as the reality of our situation crashes down around me. Panic grips me, whispering how Felix will eventually leave me.
“I don’t want to be a part of this life anymore,” I whisper. “I want out, Felix. For both of us.”
His eyes search mine, looking for any sign of deceit. “Do you really mean that?”
“Yes,” I say firmly. “I brought you here to show you that I’m serious. I want to find a way out, for us to be free from all of this.”
For a moment, he says nothing, the tension between us palpable. Then, slowly, he nods, a glimmer of hope flickering in his eyes.
“Okay,” he says quietly. “Let’s find a way out together.”
His words cut deeper than I expected. There’s something raw in his voice that makes my chest ache.
I close the distance between us. “I don’t want you to regret this,” I say, my voice quiet but firm. “Being with me. Seeing all of this.”
His eyes soften, but his expression stays guarded. “I don’t know what I feel right now. But I’m here, aren’t I?”
I reach for him, my hand cupping his face. His skin is warm under my touch, and when he leans into it, my breath catches.
“You’re in deeper than you intended,” I murmur.
“So are you,” he replies, a faint smile tugging at his lips despite the tension.
The weight of the moment breaks as he steps closer and I pull him into a kiss—hard and desperate, like he’s the only thing keeping me from falling apart. He doesn’t resist. If anything, he matches me with a fire I didn’t expect, his hands tangling in my hair as he presses against me.
We stumble back toward the couch and I lower him onto it, my lips never leaving his. His breath hitches when my hands find the hem of his shirt, and he arches into my touch as I slide it off, baring his chest to me.
I reach for the gun that’s tucked into the hem of my pants and put it on the coffee table, doing my best not to leave Felix’s lips.
Felix’s eyes track the movement, and I feel his cock hardening against my thigh.
I pull away, looking down at him. “Do you want to hold it?”
“Your dick or your gun?” Felix teases.
“Either is fine with me.” I suck on his neck, leaving a hickey before sitting up and unloading the gun.
He watches me as my hands expertly disarm the weapon before I hold it out to him. He doesn’t reach for it.
“What? Scared?”
Felix rolls his eyes. “No, I just...” He blushes, which makes my cock twitch with excitement.
I slide the barrel of the gun against Felix’s bulge. “Just what?”
He flushes even deeper, unable to answer.
I drag the gun up and down against him. “Does this turn you on, baby?” I unbutton his jeans and pull down his briefs, freeing his cock. It’s fucking huge, bigger than I’ve ever seen it before.
Felix’s eyes are dark with need as he begins rubbing his shaft. Oh, he fucking wants me bad .
“Open your mouth,” I demand.
He obeys so nicely. Opening his mouth wide, saliva drips from his tongue. I slide my gun into his mouth. “Now be a good boy and suck it.”
His eyes widen, but he obeys, sucking the metal into his mouth like it’s my own member. I undo my pants with one hand and begin stroking myself.
Felix, half-naked in front of me and getting off from sucking my gun, is not where I thought this night would go, but I can’t help but shove my weapon in deeper. Felix takes it, pumping his dick faster.
“Fuck, you look so pretty.” My voice is hoarse as I gently pull the gun from his mouth. “Take off your clothes and bend over.”
Felix rushes to pull off his jeans and bends himself over the arm of the chair.
I spread his cheeks and drag my tongue over his asshole. Damn, he prepped himself for me. He’s been waiting for me to fuck him all day, and it’s making me delirious.
Felix’s moans fill the empty safe house as I eat him out. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a sound so sweet.
“Julian, I...” he pants.
“You what?” I lick along his spine, causing goosebumps to scatter across his skin.
“I want it inside of me,” he says quietly into the cushions.
“My dick or my gun?”
His fingers grip the couch. “Both.”
I could explode just from that dirty request, but I must be patient. Tonight is about Felix.
I lean back before picking up my gun, which is still wet with Felix’s spit, and slip it inside of him.
Felix cries out from the cold metal and presses himself back against it. I’m careful not to force it too far, but Felix doesn’t seem to care.
I grab his ass cheek, gripping it tightly until it’s red. “You’re taking it so well.”
Felix begins touching himself, stroking eagerly, his release so close.
I’m kissing any exposed skin my mouth can reach. My free hand roams over him like he’s my lifeline. “God, you’re so hot. I need you so bad.”
I yank my gun from his ass and replace it with my cock. His tight hole sucks me in greedily, making me moan.
“Julian!”
My name sounds so lovely in his mouth. I never want it to stop, so I drive into him, hard .
Felix doesn’t stop calling my name, and I’m happy the closest neighbor is two miles down the road because Felix’s voice seems to be shaking the walls.
“Ah!” Felix coats his hand in his seed and presses back into me.
Seeing him sticky and pink pushes me over the edge. I come inside of him, my cock pulsing along with my heartbeat.
After a few moments of heavy breathing and sweaty skin, I pull away and lean my head against the couch. Felix breathes heavily as he collapses against the cushions.
And I wonder how much longer I’ll be able to keep my little piece of paradise a secret.