12. Felix
FELIX
T he coffee shop buzzes with life, the clinking of cups and hum of conversation blending into a backdrop of comforting chaos. I’ve always liked this place and its cozy anonymity, but today it feels like the walls are closing in.
I didn’t sleep much last night.
I shift in my seat, still sore from my midnight activities with Julian. Every time I close my eyes, flashes of Julian fill my head: the way his hands felt on my skin, the intensity in his gaze, the way he kissed me like he was trying to memorize every inch of me. It was...overwhelming, in the best and most terrifying way.
I can still feel him, his warmth lingering like an ember that refuses to burn out. It’s distracting, maddening even, but there’s no use pretending I didn’t want it to happen. I did .
But now, in the cold light of day, my mind won’t stop dissecting it.
What did it mean to him? Was it just a moment of escape, or something more? And what does it mean for us? For me?
I run my fingers through my hair, trying and failing to focus on the files spread out in front of me. My body’s here, but my head is still in that safe house, replaying every stolen breath and whispered word.
There was something raw about Julian last night—something I’ve never seen before. He wasn’t the guarded, charming guy I’ve been getting to know. He was vulnerable, almost fragile, like he was holding himself together by sheer willpower. And yet, he was so sure, so certain in the way he touched me, like he was afraid I’d slip through his fingers if he let go.
It scared me. Not the way he looked at me, but the way I wanted him to keep looking at me like that.
I thought I knew what I was getting into with Julian, but last night changed everything. It’s no longer just stolen glances and heated arguments; it’s this...connection I didn’t see coming.
And maybe that’s the scariest part.
I glance at my phone, half-expecting a text from him, though I have no idea what I’d say back. Last night was messy and complicated, but it felt like the most honest thing I’ve experienced in years.
Ben sits across from me, his laptop propped open but ignored. He’s sipping his coffee, eyebrows raised in mild curiosity. He’s always been good at reading me, which is both a blessing and a curse.
“I need your advice,” I say, trying to sound casual, though I can hear the hesitation in my voice.
Ben immediately closes his laptop and leans back in his chair, giving me his full attention. “This sounds serious.”
“It’s...something,” I admit, stirring my coffee to avoid meeting his eyes. “It’s about someone I’ve been seeing.”
Ben’s eyebrows shoot up, his smirk sharp and immediate. “Julian?”
“Just someone,” I hiss.
He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, sure. This ‘someone’ you’re seeing with all that leftover time you’re not spending with Julian.”
“This was a mistake.”
“No, no! I promise I’ll be good. Tell me.”
I hesitate, and his expression shifts to something more cautious.
“Oh no. Is this one of those ‘good news, bad news’ situations?”
“Sort of,” I say with a sigh. “This someone and I slept together.”
Ben blinks, then tilts his head as if trying to piece together a puzzle. “And it was terrible?”
“No! It was...” My brain drifts off, thinking of Julian’s husky voice praising me. My face flushes.
“That good, huh?”
“Yeah,” I say, bracing myself for whatever he’s about to say next.
“And the bad news?”
“It’s...complicated,” I say, choosing my words carefully. “His family’s...very involved in his life. Like, too involved. And it’s starting to affect things between us.”
Ben’s eyes narrow. “Define ‘involved.’ Are we talking overbearing parents, or do they actually control his life?”
“More the latter,” I say as I fidget with my coffee cup. “It’s like...they have all these expectations for him. And he’s trying to figure out his own path, but it’s hard when they’re constantly pulling the strings.”
Ben nods slowly, absorbing this. “So let me get this straight. You like this guy, but his family’s grip on him is messing with your relationship?”
“Basically.”
Ben leans forward, his voice dropping to a serious tone. “Are they toxic? Like, manipulative? Or is it just...cultural stuff?”
I pause, considering how to explain it without revealing too much. “A bit of both. They have this...old-school way of thinking—loyalty, duty, putting the family first no matter what. It’s a lot to deal with.”
Ben exhales sharply. “That sounds exhausting.”
“It is,” I admit. “But Julian’s...different. He doesn’t want to be like them. He’s trying to break free from them, but it’s not easy.”
Ben studies me for a long moment before speaking. “Okay, so what do you need advice on? Whether or not to stick it out with him?”
I nod, my stomach twisting at the thought. “Yeah. I don’t want to get in over my head, Ben. But I also don’t want to abandon him when he’s clearly struggling.”
Ben’s expression softens. “Sounds like you care about him a lot.”
“I do,” I say quietly. “But I don’t know if that’s enough.”
Ben leans back and crosses his arms. “Here’s the thing, Felix. If his family’s going to be a constant battle, you need to decide if you’re willing to fight it. And more importantly, if he’s willing to fight with you.”
I nod, taking in his words. “You’re right. I guess I just...I don’t know where the line is yet. What I can handle and what I can’t.”
Ben smiles faintly. “That’s fair. But you’re allowed to have boundaries. Supporting him doesn’t mean losing yourself in his mess.”
I think of the way Julian pummeled his opponent into the ground. The safe house we stayed in last night. His gun sliding up my thigh.
“Yeah...” I say, exhaling a shaky breath.
“And hey,” Ben adds, his smirk returning. “If his family starts showing up at our door with pitchforks, you know where to find me.”
I laugh and shake my head. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”
???
When I step into my apartment building, I immediately notice that my front door is ajar, the lock mangled like someone took a crowbar to it.
My pulse spikes. I freeze in the doorway, the evening sounds of the city behind me fading into a dull hum. For a second, I let myself hope that maybe I left it that way—maybe I was careless, distracted. But as I push the door open and take in the chaos inside, that hope dies an ugly, quiet death.
The place is wrecked.
Cushions have been slashed, their stuffing spilling out like entrails. My coffee table is overturned and shards of glass from the vase I kept there glitter on the hardwood floor. My desk is a mess—papers scattered, drawers ripped out and tossed aside. The small safe I kept hidden in the closet is wide open, its contents gone. And my meticulous, hard-earned research, the product of countless late nights and early mornings, is missing.
I enter the apartment, my shoes crunching against the broken glass. My stomach churns as I look around, taking in the deliberate precision of it all. This wasn’t random. This wasn’t some desperate junkie looking for quick cash.
Whoever did this knew what they were looking for, and it wasn’t money.
I glance at the empty spot on the desk where my laptop used to sit. The USB drives I kept in the drawer? Gone. Even the printed notes I’d been too paranoid to store digitally are missing. My heart sinks farther with every detail I notice.
This wasn’t a break-in. This was a fucking message.
I crouch down and pick up a few crumpled pages from the floor. They’re useless—scraps that have nothing to do with the case I’ve been working on. Everything important is gone.
The walls feel like they’re closing in, the air thick with the scent of stale sweat and fear. My breath comes in shallow gasps as I lean against the doorframe, trying to collect myself.
This has to be them.
The Greco family. Julian’s family.
The thought twists in my gut, a sickening cocktail of anger and betrayal. I want to believe it’s not true. I want to believe Julian wouldn’t let this happen. But the connection is impossible to ignore.
I grab my phone from my pocket, my fingers trembling as I type out a message.
Me: Meet me at the Valmont Law Building. Private office on the second floor. Now.
A few seconds later, my phone vibrates.
Julian: What’s going on? Are you okay?
I don’t bother replying. I don’t trust myself to say anything that won’t betray the storm raging inside me. I grab my coat, step over the wreckage, and leave the apartment.
The bus ride to the Valmont Law Building feels like an eternity. My mind races, running through a hundred scenarios and a thousand questions I don’t want answers to. My hands are shaking when I step into the private office.
The office is small and unremarkable—a sterile room with a desk, a couple of chairs, and the faint smell of disinfectant. Light jazz music plays from a speaker in the ceiling. It’s as far removed from my trashed apartment as possible, and yet I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve brought the chaos with me.
I pace the room, trying to steady my breathing. When I hear the door creak open, I turn sharply.
Julian steps inside, his face a mask of calm concern that only fuels the fire in my chest. He closes the door behind him, his eyes narrowing as he takes in my expression.
He takes my face into his warm hands, looking over me for any injury.
“What happened?” he asks, his voice low and careful.
I pull away from him, putting some distance between us. “My apartment was broken into.”
He stiffens, his jaw tightening. “Are you okay?”
“Do I look okay?” I snap, the words sharper than I intended. I cross my arms, trying to keep my voice steady. “They tore the place apart, Julian. And they took everything—my research, my laptop, even my notes. This wasn’t random. They knew exactly what they were looking for.”
His brow furrows, concern darkening his features. “You think it was?—”
“Don’t,” I cut him off. My voice trembles with barely contained anger. “Don’t play dumb. We both know who it was.”
Julian steps closer, his expression shifting from concerned to defensive. “You think my family had something to do with this?”
“Who else would it be?” I demand, my frustration boiling over. “Who else has the resources, the connections, and the motive?”
He opens his mouth to respond, but I hold up a hand to stop him. “Don’t lie to me, Julian. Not about this.”
For a moment, the room is silent except for the sound of my ragged breathing. Then Julian speaks, his voice low and steady. “I didn’t know about this, Felix. I swear. But if my family’s involved, I’ll find out. And I’ll fix it.”
The sincerity in his voice gives me pause, but it’s not enough to quell the storm inside me. “Fix it?” I laugh bitterly. “You can’t just wave a magic wand and undo this, Julian. This is my life. My work. And your family just took it like it was nothing.”
He takes another step closer, his eyes locking onto mine. “I’ll make it right,” he says, his voice soft but firm. “I promise, baby.”
The words hang in the air, heavy with everything unsaid. I want to trust him. I want to believe that he’s different from the rest of them. But after tonight, I don’t know if I can.
But the look in his eyes, the way his fingers graze over my skin…damn it. He was made for me. Crafted by all the demons in hell just to tempt me.
A knock from the door rumbles through the office. “Hello? Is this rented out?”
“Fuck,” I say under my breath. “I’m on a call! One moment.”
Julian pulls away from me and ducks under the desk. I sit in the chair, scattering papers across the surface to make it look like I’ve been working, not having a steamy argument with my not-quite-boyfriend.
“Come in!” I call. I hear Julian snickering under the desk. I kick him in the side to shut him up.
A petite blonde guy sticks his head in, his round glasses sliding down of his nose. “Oh, hi Felix.”
I have no idea who this boy is. “Do I...?”
“We had the same Gen Ed. You don’t remember? Calculus.” He continues to explain the boring class I don’t remember taking. He’s about a year or two younger than me, and I can tell he idolizes me. A lot of the younger law students do.
I’m about to tell him I don’t care what he’s saying and I have this room booked when I feel Julian pull down the front of my track pants.
God fucking damn it.
“Listen, Eddie,” I start.
“Alfie,” he corrects just as Julian’s mouth closes around my cock.
I pinch my nose, trying not to groan from the feel of Julian’s tongue. “Alfie...”
A graze of teeth.
I clear my throat. “I have the room signed out until 9:30, and it’s currently?—”
Julian’s hand slides up my shaft without any resistance.
“8:45.” My voice cracks. “So you can have it at 9:30 on the dot.”
God, Julian is choking my dick down, and I’m very surprised at how he’s able to do that so quietly.
Alfie huffs and slips into the hall, closing the door behind him.
My head lolls against the chair and my fingers tangle into Julian’s golden locks. “You’re so annoying.”
He licks up my shaft and looks up at me from between my legs. “I had to make it up to you some way.”
“This won’t do it,” I say bitterly.
Julian raises an eyebrow and rubs his hands up my thighs. “Will fucking you do it?”
“No.”
His face falls and he stands up from under the desk. “I’m sorry, Felix. I was playing around?—”
I turn Julian and force him over the desk, which I can only do because I caught him by surprise. I’d never be able to pull this off in any other circumstance.
I tug his gym shorts down and force myself into him. He’s so tight. I probably should have worked him up to it, but I feel selfish tonight.
He yelps, but I cover his mouth with my hand. “I’m still a little sore from last night. So this is how you can make it up to me.”
Julian wiggles against me, trying to force my cock even deeper.
“You’re such a fucking man whore, you know that?” I growl.
Julian responds by spreading his ass cheeks and moaning. His voice hums through my hand.
“You wanted my attention so bad you sucked my cock in front of a peer?” I drive into him punishingly.
I move my hand from Julian’s mouth and wrap my fingers around his throat. He lets me do it. Julian could throw me on the floor and beat the shit out of me. But he doesn’t.
“You like this?”
He’s jacking himself off—of course he likes it. “Say it.”
“Yes. Yes. Yes,” he pants.
I stutter my thrusts, moving into his hole painfully slow. “Who’s fucked you like this?”
“Felix—”
“Don’t lie, fuckboy.”
Julian huffs. “Just you.”
My frustrations, my fear, and my anger drive into him. I can’t deny I’m using him. I’m punishing him for pulling me into this fucked-up life of his.
But his sounds prove it’s not much of a punishment.
“I can’t fucking stand you,” I say in his ear. “You better not lie to me ever again.” My hand presses hard against his throat.
“Please, Felix,” Julian whimpers. I get a peek of his giant cock, veiny and red, on the brink of bursting.
My name on his mouth overwhelms me. So does the sensation of his skin against mine, and the knowledge that no one has ever touched him like this.
I come long and hard into Julian, biting into his shoulder to keep myself quiet.
Julian’s knuckles are white as he grasps the desk before him. Valmont’s big, strong, golden boy is a pink, panting mess before me.
I pull away from him, tucking myself back into my pants. “Fix this, Julian.”
Julian lets out a disappointed groan, but sits up. I didn’t let him finish on purpose. He needs to beg for my forgiveness before I allow that.
His cheeks are red. From lust or embarrassment, I don’t know. “I’ll have someone come by to clean up your apartment. But you and Ben should probably stay at a hotel tonight.”
“How am I supposed to explain this to him?”
“Say you called the cops and filed a report.” Julian wipes his mouth and fixes his clothes. He pulls out his wallet and hands me a wad of cash—more than I can make in three months of tutoring. “Here. Stay at the Renaldo on Parsons Street. I know the guy who owns it. You’ll be safe there.”
“Julian—”
“Just take it,” Julian says, pushing it into my hand. “You can’t be seen at my apartment. I’m sure they’re watching me. Please do what I say, okay?”
I nod, reluctantly taking the money I’m sure was made with blood.