Chapter 17
CHAPTER 17
Jax led me up the stairs and pulled the keys from his pocket. Footsteps came from behind us, his friends following with Guardian Alleron in tow.
“Elowen?” Jax said softly when we reached the second floor. “I was planning to give you your own chambers to sleep in, but after that”—a grinding sound came from beneath his mask—“ incident downstairs, I would rather you’re not left alone tonight. Just in case anybody else gets any ideas. If it’s all right with you.”
“Will...we be sharing the bed?” My heart began to gallop when I thought of how we’d lain in the tent last night before Lordling Neeble attacked. Jax’s arm had been slung around me, his heat pressed to my back.
The Dark Raider lifted a hand to his head, as though he was going to rake it through his hair, his movements agitated. “ No, of course not. I’ll sleep on the floor, but I don’t want you alone even if I lock and ward the room.”
Music still carried up the stairwell, causing the floor beneath my shoes to hum, but it no longer called to me. The male’s attack downstairs had seen to that.
I wrapped my arms around myself. A strange sense of comfort filled me at the thought of Jax being so close, even if he was on the floor. “Yes, I’d like that.”
He gave a curt nod, then distributed the rest of the keys to the other males. “Lock him up.” He inclined his head to my former guardian. “And then, everyone, get some sleep. We ride early.”
The second I was alone in the chamber with the Dark Raider, I began to second-guess my decision.
Heightened, powerful magic swirled around him. He prowled around the room, checking all of the locks and doors. Following that, he searched for any hidden exits or entrances, trap doors, magically veiled chambers, and even peepholes. And considering how small the chamber was, there was no escaping Jax’s ever-present aura.
And you thought you could sleep soundly with such a male near you?
When he finished his inspection, he placed his hands on his hips. “It’s safe.” Moonlight spilled around him, highlighting his inky-dark eyebrows and crystalline blue eyes. “There’s a washroom in the corner if you’d like to use it.” He gestured to the door by the far wall, then took another step back until he was pressed to the wall.
I couldn’t be certain, but he seemed to be making an effort to keep himself as far away from me as the room allowed.
I eyed the lone bed, then my bag on the floor that Phillen had handed to Jax before shuffling Guardian Alleron down the hall. Silverly light was the only thing that illuminated it since neither of us had bothered to ignite the fairy lights. “I just realized I don’t have any sleeping attire. I forgot to buy that today, so there’s really not much I need to do in the washroom.”
Jax’s eyebrows pinched together, and he cleared his throat. “Right. In that case, I can give you my shirt. It’ll keep you fully covered and be more comfortable than your clothes.”
My eyes rounded, but before I could protest, he was unbuckling his belt and lifting his tunic over his head, then the looser shirt beneath it. His broad, muscled, and very naked chest appeared in the moonlight. Several scars were carved into his flesh, dipping over his defined abs and planed back.
My breaths sped up, and I hastily gulped. The fact that I was twenty-eight summers old and had never been with a male in that way came roaring back to me. My virginity wasn’t by choice, after all. My guardian was entirely controlling and had never allowed any male near me who hadn’t paid for my lorafin services, so seeing Jax now...a male with a body like a god and a scent that went straight to my head...
My virgin body was practically salivating.
Goddess, don’t embarrass yourself, Elowen.
Averting my eyes, I somehow managed to ask in a fairly normal-sounding voice, “What will you sleep in? Won’t you be cold?”
He made a soft sound, like a laugh or scoff. I couldn’t be certain because blood was thundering through my ears.
“I rarely get cold.”
I gave him a side-eye, but I couldn’t help my gaze from skating over him. The male was truly breathtakingly beautiful.
But then a barely perceptible scar, right below his breastbone, flashed in the moonlight. It was brighter pink than the others, still somewhat fresh looking, and my eyes widened when it hit me that it was the only remaining evidence of Lordling Neeble’s attack.
And here I was ogling him after he nearly died last night.
For all the shame, Elowen.
Jax held out his big, loose shirt. I snatched it, then hurried to the washroom, berating myself the entire way. It was silly, my reaction to him. I’d seen males without their shirts on before. The guards at Emerson Estate trained that way regularly. That was nothing new.
Yet this felt new.
I was no longer under Guardian Alleron’s care. I was no longer subject to his rules, and something told me if I chose to bed a male, Jax wouldn’t stop me or try to control me.
And knowing that, I couldn’t help but want to stare at him. I didn’t want to be a virgin. I wanted to learn every dip and turn of a male’s flesh and the rise of his muscles. And Jax was a gorgeous male. Anyone attracted to his gender would notice that.
I argued internally as I passed him, that it was only natural to be having illicit fantasies about how his body would feel atop mine.
A sharp inhale came from Jax when I brushed by him, but I didn’t slow my steps. I would likely embarrass myself if I did.
It was only when I was safely locked within the washroom that I allowed myself a moment to breathe. Yet an ache filled my belly, a wildly delicious ache that I’d never had the pleasure of a male satisfying before.
Stars and galaxy .
I sagged against the wall, gripping his clothing to my chest as I tried to ignore the tantalizing scent of pine and spice rising from it.
I was truly losing my mind if I wanted nothing more than to give my virginity to the Dark Raider.
True to his word, Jax slept on the floor. He settled as far away from me as the chamber would allow him to, which wasn’t that far.
Consequently, it took much longer than usual to fall asleep, even though the least of my worries was some male breaking into my room and harming me.
I was acutely aware of every breath Jax took, and I was painfully aware of every rustle of the blanket that I’d insisted he take from the bed. Other than those small sounds, it was quiet.
Silence filled the room, the wildling band in the salopas below now quiet.
Yet, never had the silence felt so . . . loud.
I finally fell asleep sometime in the early hours of the morning when one of the moons had set, and the stars were most alive. Yet, it wasn’t a restful sleep. Dreams plagued me. Intense dreams. Indecent dreams.
Each time I awoke, I was certain that I’d find Jax beside me with his fingers fiddling the sensitive bud between my female flesh. Or that my hands would be upon his chest as I memorized and marveled at the leashed strength harbored in his muscles. My body felt as taut as a bow string. I was that aroused, that needy.
But every time my eyes fluttered open, it was only to me alone on the mattress with that aching desire pounding through me.
The only other sound in the room was Jax’s breathing. Sometimes it was steady and deep. Other times it was so quiet that I couldn’t help but wonder if he was awake too.
Yet, I was too afraid to call out to him, too embarrassed to reveal just how inexperienced I was.
So I turned on my side and gazed out the window, my body humming with awareness for the male across the room who had entirely turned my realm upside down.
By the time morning came, even though I’d only had a few hours of restful sleep, I didn’t feel tired. I felt alive, and, Goddess, did I need release.
I wasn’t new to such an experience. I’d pleasured myself in the privacy of my chambers many times over the seasons—since it was all I’d ever been allowed to do. But despite that, it’d still never fully quenched the lust in me. But it would have to do. The last thing I wanted was to beg the Dark Raider to finally rid me of my unwanted virginity.
Goddess, talk about mortifying.
Sighing, I opened my eyes to find that Jax was already awake, and?—
I gulped.
He was watching me.
The Dark Raider lay on his side, his half-hooded eyes locked on me. Mussed hair covered his head, and the blanket was bunched around his toned waist. In the early morning daylight, his chest looked smooth despite the myriad of scars.
Eyes widening, my attention drifted to his head. His scarf had fallen off sometime in the night, and I greedily soaked up his appearance.
As if only becoming aware of that, Jax’s hand flew to the bandana lying on the floor.
“Fuck,” he whispered beneath his breath.
Unfortunately, his mask was still in place, so only his eyes were visible, but his hair was just as black as I knew it would be. He wore it short, yet his locks had a slight wave to them. Several strands curled around his forehead, but before I could look more, he secured his bandana and then stood.
“I should go.” His aura pounded from him, filling the room in a heavy magical cloud. He held his pillow over his groin, even though he was dressed from the waist down. Also strange, he seemed to be breathing through his mouth, given the puffs coming from his mask.
“Okay,” I managed to reply, but I couldn’t stop looking .
Morning sunlight dipped over his broad chest. It was much easier to see him in this light. He only wore pants, his upper body bare, and stars and galaxy. The male was entirely carved of sculpted flesh and defined muscle. Sinewy forearms gripped the pillow he held over himself, and his biceps and shoulders flexed involuntarily.
“I’ll, uh, give you some privacy so you can get dressed.” He strode across the room before I could blink, pillow still in place. It was only when he was out of the room, with the door locked behind him, that I finally breathed again.
A pulse pounded in my most intimate area, and when I glanced down, my jaw dropped.
Jax’s shirt was hanging off one of my shoulders. It was so low that one of my breasts was nearly exposed, and from the feel of my hair, it was the epitome of bedhead. On top of that, after all of the indecent dreams I had during the night, my body ached for a male.
I could only imagine what I’d just looked like.
Elowen, what in all the realms?
Inside, my prickly conscience admonished me, but the need in my belly grew too great, and my growing attraction to Jax wasn’t helping.
I lay back on the bed and let my fingers wander south. The second I touched myself, my body arched.
I knew it was insane, that my actions bordered on crazy. I was fantasizing about the Dark Raider and what it would feel like to have his hard length slide inside me.
The thought of him pounding me, claiming me, owning me...
Stars, I wanted to know what that would feel like.
I came almost instantly and had to turn my head into the pillow to muffle my cry. But a part of me still felt unsated. A part of me still burned .
But I wasn’t about to humiliate myself by asking Jax if he’d mind tending to my salacious needs while I was his captive. I’d seen enough to know that Jax might have respect for me, and he might strive to provide protection to all females, but that didn’t mean he desired me.
“Elowen, are you dressed, lovely?” Phillen’s booming voice carried into my chambers through the door not long later.
“Coming!” I called.
My cheeks still burned from what I’d done the second Jax had left the room, but it wasn’t like he had any idea that his corded muscles had taken center stage in my fantasies.
I smoothed the black slacks and ebony top I wore. A quick glance in the mirror revealed my chestnut hair swaying down my back in gentle waves. My bright-green eyes were still alive with evidence of desire, but other than that, I looked normal. With any luck, my outfit choice today would take all their attention away from any lingering traces of my arousal.
When I reached the door, I unlocked it. With a frown, I realized Jax hadn’t spelled it on his way out, since it’d just unlocked like any other door. Even though he knew I could eventually undo his spells with a counterspell, he hadn’t even tried to keep me caged. Weird . It was almost as if he’d been in a hurry to leave and had forgotten.
I opened the door with a flourish and flashed Phillen a wide smile.
The large, brawny male took one look at me and burst out laughing, his mask puffing from his face with each exhale. “Are you taking the piss, lovely?”
I glanced down innocently at my black leggings, black tunic, and then smoothed the black bandana that concealed the top of my head and was tied with a knot at the nape of my neck—all newly acquired clothing thanks to the shopkeeper yesterday.
A spark of glee ran through me. Indeed, with this outfit, nobody would question what I’d been doing in the privacy of these chambers. They would be too busy laughing or shaking their head at my style choice.
But even though the bandana hid the top of my head, my hair was still mostly visible, and I wasn’t wearing a mask so my identity wasn’t concealed like Jax and his friends. Still, I definitely looked like one of them now.
I couldn’t help my playful response. “What makes you say that?”
He chuckled. “So you have a sense of humor, do you, Newole? I knew I liked you.” He gestured down the hall. “If you’re ready, we’re heading out.”
I started at the sound of his new nickname for me. Newole? It was a strange thing to call me, but despite wondering how he’d come up with that, a smile spread across my lips. I’d never had a nickname before.
Phillen lumbered ahead. He didn’t check to see if I was following him, so I figured he either trusted me to do so, or his stag shifter magic allowed him to hear my footsteps even though they were nearly silent.
I hitched my bag over my shoulder and kept pace behind him. We hopped down the stairs and passed through the salopas until we stood outside under a blazing morning sky. Dusty wind flew around us. In the distance, beige clouds swirled that were growing darker with every second that passed.
“Is that a storm?” I shaded my eyes, trying to see better.
“Dust cloud’s coming. We best be far from here when that arrives.” Lander waved toward it, his voice its usual monotone.
Lars dipped his head in agreement but didn’t say anything.
Jax stood by the door, his arms flexing. Piercing blue eyes found mine, and a flash of heat consumed me. A sharp inhale came from him, then his gaze raked over me, but instead of showing amusement or appreciation, he sharply looked away.
A moment of disappointment hit me, but the other males began to laugh and pat me on the shoulder, all of them either smirking or trying not to smile, given the twitching movements beneath their masks.
My tensed shoulders relaxed, even more so when Trivan whistled and said, “Goddess, Elowen...these outfits look better on you than they do on us.”
“I was thinking the same,” Bowan agreed, not even trying to hide his ogling.
I arched an eyebrow at all of them. Their tunics and leggings did little to hide their powerful physiques. “That’s debatable. ”
Bowen chuckled, and Lander made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a snicker.
But Guardian Alleron was a different story. His spiteful stare hit me. He was still bound, dried blood visible beneath the bands restraining him, and his glare told me how much he hated all of this.
I glanced away, anything to avoid my former guardian’s accusing glowers, and in doing so, I became aware of the other activity in the street.
Shopkeepers and local fae were busy securing outdoor items with ropes or magic bands. Shutters were getting locked over windows, and dozens of fae were casting spells over doors and window frames.
“What are they doing?”
Jax nodded toward the clouds in the distance. “Sealing the crevices to keep that storm out. When that dust begins to fly, it’s toxic.”
My eyes bulged. “And we’re leaving when it’s about to hit?”
“We can outrun it if we leave now.” Lander jerked his thumb toward the other males, and in a flash of magic, four of them shifted.
Lander grabbed Guardian Alleron and secured him to Lars while Jax leaped atop Phillen, then held out his arm to me. “Ready to get on?”
I couldn’t be sure, but his words sounded slightly irritated.
But why is he angry with me? Stomach tumbling, I nodded .
Lander grasped me around the waist and lifted me as though I were as light as a feather. He draped me across the stag, right in front of Jax, and when Jax’s arm slid around me, every indecent thought I’d had about the Dark Raider came roaring back.
My pulse thumped. “Where are we going?”
“North.” Jax’s clipped comment met my ear.
I squirmed. “Um, where in the north?”
“Somewhere safe.” In a flash, he shot back when my rump met his groin, his entire body tensing.
I stilled, stopping my fidgeting completely just as humiliation hit me. Oh Goddess. He knew . Jax knew that I’d been aroused by him. It was why he was suddenly acting so distant.
Never had he been so stiff and formal with me, and never had he made certain that not even an inch of our bodies touched. It was becoming entirely apparent that the Dark Raider knew of my lust this morning, and he was telling me quite clearly—no words needed—that he wasn’t interested.
Shame cascaded through me. Thank the Goddess I hadn’t acted on my desire to lose my virginity. I could only imagine how awkward that rejection would have been.
Phillen leaped forward just as a bolt of lightning flashed in the distance. The rest of the stags followed and collectively picked up speed. But it wasn’t until we reached the end of the town and all of the fae were out of the way that they really let loose.
Jax’s arm tightened, holding me in place as energy pounded around him. In a blink, a cloud of his magic surrounded us, cutting through the wind even though it began to howl.
As before, the realm turned into a blur of colorless sound the second they fully exacted their magic, and in a blink, Fosterton and the impending storm disappeared behind us.
Everywhere I looked was a void. A large, suffocating, never-ending span of nothingness.
And the only fairy I had for company for the rest of the day was the Dark Raider.