18. Konstantin
EIGHTEEN
Konstantin
“What are you looking at?” Yura asks.
I’m surprised he’s even awake. I thought he’d drifted off. It’s certainly comfortable enough in the bed with Sierra between us.
I hold up my phone, displaying a picture of a beautiful blonde who is very, very pregnant. “My brother’s mistress. I’m not sure what he wants me to do with this.”
Charitably, he’s simply excited. She’s smiling in the photo, and I guess Roman must have charmed her plenty.
Of course, not featured in this photo is the fact that Roman has a wife and son already, and he has no intention of leaving them to care for this new life he helped create.
I’d almost hope that the child she’s carrying is somebody else’s, but would it matter?
Well. To Roman, yes.
I think about Sierra, and how the three of us all fucked her raw. If she got pregnant, we might not know who the biological father was short of a DNA test. Not that it would matter. Any child of hers would be claimed as my own.
How’s that for messy, Father? I think bitterly .
Yura rolls closer and drapes his arm over Sierra. “Hot. But not as hot as Sierra.”
I laugh. “But… Sierrochka would be very attractive if she were pregnant, wouldn’t she?”
The long silence makes me wonder if he disagrees, but Yura lets out a strange sound. “Fuck. Yeah, yeah she would.” He kisses the side of Sierra’s cheek. “Then she’d never be able to escape us.”
Sierra stirs, as though aware we’re talking about her. Or maybe it’s just the touch. Her eyes flutter open, and she tenses a little. All of the languid need she’d been feeling earlier seems to be gone, replaced by apprehension. It’s a good thing we’ve been speaking in Russian; if she knew why she was the topic of conversation, she’d panic.
“How are you feeling?” Yura asks her in English, gently stroking her stomach.
She shrugs. “Better, I guess.” But she sounds subdued.
Yura and I exchange a look. There’s something she’s not telling us, and I’m vaguely reminded of her admission that her brother had wanted her to see a therapist. Yuri had known why. I arch a brow, looking at him.
“Was it just the danger?” I ask, running my knuckles down her cheek. “We will keep you home, if the danger is too much.”
“No!” she says quickly, shaking her head. “I don’t want to be stuck here all the time. I want to go to classes and… and go places. It was just…” She looks so vulnerable.
I lean in to give her a gentle kiss to encourage her to continue. “You mentioned your brother wanting you to see a therapist,” I say, keeping my voice soft. It’s strange, how she evokes this in me. “Why?”
Sierra shudders. Instead of answering, though, she looks pleadingly at Yuri.
Yura pulls her closer to himself. His tattooed arm is a stark contrast against all of her pale skin.
“When her brother and his family were murdered… Sierra was the one who discovered them.” Yura’s eyes meet mine. “It was a gruesome scene. ”
She nods, swallowing hard as she buries her face in his chest.
I know my brother and father would both be furious if one of “their” women turned to another man for comfort. But when I see Sierra with Yura, all I feel is warmth, and the general mild arousal I always get when I watch two beautiful people together.
I don’t think I would feel quite this strongly if it were anybody other than Sierra, Yura, or Nikolai, though.
I stroke Sierra’s back gently. “How old were you?”
Her lips part slightly, but she doesn’t speak at first. For a moment, I don’t think she’s going to answer at all, but Yura and I both give her time to think and gather her composure. “Twelve,” she whispers. “My niece… My niece was only six. Six.” Her shoulders shake, and Yura’s arm tightens around her.
Fuck. Twelve is far too young to experience something like that. My mother had tried to shield me from the violence as much as she could, although by sixteen my father was already bringing me to meet his real family and teaching me what my place in his organization would be.
I glance at Yura, whose expression is dark and thunderous.
Knowing what I know about Yura’s past, I wonder if he saw terrible things at that age, too.
Sierra lets out a choked laugh. “You threatened my entire family, too, though,” she says as she pulls away from Yura. “My niece and nephew? They’re still young, too. And my sister-in-law is innocent. Ma…” It should be easy for her to say her own mother is an innocent, but Sierra seems so conflicted where she’s concerned. “You said you’d torture them in front of me.”
I’d done that, hadn’t I. The words were familiar, ones I often used to keep people in line. I know my father wouldn’t hesitate to go after somebody’s family if they displeased him.
Why do I suddenly feel guilty over it? She’s a beautiful woman, one who I’m starting to appreciate for more than just her cunt, but in the end, she’s still the daughter of a man who had been our enemy.
I let out a shaky sigh and stroke my beard. “Sierrochka… I wo n’t apologize. But right now, I have no desire to hurt anybody you hold dear. Your family is safe from us, at least.”
She looks at me, her jaw setting stubbornly. “Even Kyran?”
I don’t know why she defends her brother — her brother, who is fucking their long-time enemy, one of those responsible for the deaths in her family.
“If your brother keeps his end of the bargain, he has nothing to fear from us. But I will defend my territory and my business.” I grin at her, though I know it’s a dark look. “So you should hope Silvano Cresci keeps him in line.”
Sierra laughs, the sound humorless and dark. “What happens if I disobey you now, Kotya ? If you aren’t going to threaten my family anymore?”
“Are you going to disobey me?” I ask her mildly. “Do you want to risk our wrath?”
“I don’t know,” she says, shrugging. “Maybe I don’t want to be your fucktoy anymore.”
Her behavior in the shower said otherwise, though.
“You aren’t a fucktoy ,” Yura growls. He gives her a brief kiss. “You’ve never been just a fucktoy.” He glares at me. “Right?”
I’m still confused about the ferocity of Yura’s feelings, but I nod. “I don’t brand and mark random women.” I trail my hand to Sierra’s ass. “I don’t dream about other women carrying my child.”
Sierra tenses at that, and she pulls away from both of us. “That again? No. I’m not going to… No.” She gives a fierce shake of her head.
“You want to ensure we don’t harm you?” I say gently, still petting her. “Well, we would never harm the mother of our child.”
She lets out another bitter little laugh. “So that’s how it’s going to be now?” She tries to get up, but Yuri and I keep her between us. “You realize that’s one of my fears, right? Getting pregnant? I’ve agonized over this possibility. I…”
“Why a fear?” Yura asks. “There’s nothing wrong with getting pregnant and being a mother. You would be a great one. I know it.”
“Because it’s too dangerous in this life!” Sierra bursts out, tears welling up in her eyes again. “Having children means putting boys at constant risk, and women… women are treated like trading chips. Hostages. Mothers and mistresses and never anything important.”
“We would protect you,” I answer bluntly. Angrily, even, because the thought of somebody laying a hand on Sierra?—
But somebody already laid a hand on her. I need to have a word with Nikolai and Yura about it, but I’d okayed the whole mission. In the end, it’s my responsibility, even if they were the ones who failed to keep her safe.
I lift her chin up and say steadily, “You’re going to have our child. And you can continue to enjoy the computers and help us. If you don’t, you will not be a wife. You will be a mistress, hidden away and only brought out when we need eye candy.”
Tears roll down her cheeks in thin rivulets. “I hate you,” she whispers. “I hate all of you.”
Yura’s arms tighten around her and he kisses the back of her head. “You’re going to look so beautiful when you are carrying our child. They are going to be smart and strong like you, too.”
“I’m not ready,” she says, shaking her head. “I’m not ready for any of this.”
Maybe in another life, another time, I’d care that she doesn’t think she’s ready. I’d be able to tell her that her children will never be in danger. But this is reality, and it’s become clearer than ever that I need to carry on my legacy. Even if the child isn’t mine by blood, I’ll still claim them.
I’m tired of being the unwanted son, the lesser one. I’m in America now. My father holds no sway over me. If Roman can create succession issues, so can I.
“They’ll never want for anything,” I promise her. “Neither will you.”
“I want my freedom,” she whispers. “God, I’ve been such a fucking idiot.”
“Never,” Yura says, still kissing her skin. “You’re ours, Sierra. I can’t wait to see you with our children.”
She sobs, and I wrap my arms around her too, keeping her close to the two of us .
Keeping her trapped between the two of us. It would be better if it was all three of us, but Nikolai has been acting strange.
For several long moments, Sierra simply cries, and we let her, holding her and kissing her cheek, the top of her head, patting her and reminding her that she belongs to us even as we try to soothe her.
When she finally seems to be cried out, she sags in our arms.
“Should I text Nikolai?” I murmur to Yura in Russian.
Yura shrugs. “Sure. Tell him to stop being a dumbass.”
Sierra laughs bitterly. “Stop speaking Russian around me.”
“Okay. Then we’re going to text Nikolai. He’ll want to be here with you, too.” I brush her hair out of her face. “How lucky you are, Sierrochka. Three men to dote on you.”
“Three men to suffocate me,” she mutters.
I choose to ignore those words, instead texting Nikolai to stop sulking and come join us.
He doesn’t answer right away, and I sigh. “What do you think is wrong with him?” I ask Yuri.
“How should I know?” Yura kisses Sierra’s ear. “What do you think? Why did Nikolai refuse to join us?”
“I don’t know,” she says slowly. “Does…” She blushes. “Does he usually kiss you? Do you usually… you know, kiss each other?”
I shift a little uncomfortably. “Not often,” I answer, because I don’t generally want to think about my relationship with Yura. I love seeing other men—Yura and Nikolai—fuck women, and sometimes my hands end up on their bodies.
But nobody at home would understand something like that. Roman and my father would never accept a man who touches other men.
That was one of the reasons I didn’t protest too hard when my father sent me to America. I would be more free to do whatever the fuck I want, including gang-bangs.
“Only when there’s a woman between us,” Yura answers, meeting my gaze steadily. “But maybe he was kissing Nikolai all on his own while I was out of the picture.”
I tense and glare back at him. “I wasn’t. We shared some women here and there, like I did with you. Because I like seeing a woman speared open.”
Sierra looks between the two of us, but before she can say anything, the door opens. Nikolai’s expression is closed off, his lips pursed. He looks angry as he looks at the three of us. “I’m not sulking,” he says.
“You were too good to enjoy cuddling with us,” Yura snipes. “Doesn’t want to touch us more than necessary now.”
“If that’s how you’re going to act, I’ll just leave,” Nikolai says.
Sierra looks between the three of us and shakes her head. “You’re all insane,” she says. “Man up and figure out what the fuck is going on between you.” She seems to be less lackluster when she’s ordering us around, at least. “Or woman up, because at least women talk about shit.”
I shoot Nikolai a grin. “Sierra has agreed to carry our child. We’re going to pump into her so much until she swells up with a baby.”
Nikolai goes still at that, his gaze snapping to Sierra. “She agreed to that?”
“No!” Sierra says quickly. “But it’s not like any of you fucking care.”
“You’re right,” Nikolai says with a shrug. “We don’t.” He watches her for a moment. “You’ll be a good mom.”
“She will,” Yura agrees, smiling wider. “We’ll all be great dads too. We can teach the kid to use knives, and shoot, and?—”
“What if the baby is a girl?” Sierra interrupts, her eyes narrowing. “Will you still teach her to protect herself? Or will you close her off and make her a little mafia princess?”
“We will teach her to shoot,” I agree. “She should know how to defend herself.” I stroke my beard thoughtfully. “But we do want a son, too, right? So you might need to have more than one child for us.”
Nikolai makes a derisive sound. “Yeah, we aren’t going to do like Pavone and claim a daughter as the heir.”
Sierra glares at him. “What the fuck, Nikolai?” She looks at me and Yura. “See? This is one of the many, many reasons I don’t want to have a baby in this world.”
Yura shrugs. “Guess you’ll have to show us what a woman can bring to the organization.”
“Maybe I fucking will,” Sierra retorts. “But you may not like what ends up happening to me along the way.”
Nothing is going to happen to her. I’m not going to allow it.
And despite what my father says, I will start a legacy. Maybe my children will never be acknowledged by their grandfather, but I’m not going to stay in the shadows forever. I’m going to show my father that I’m just as capable as my brother.
Maybe I’ll end up being his legitimate heir after all.