Chapter 22 #3
“He’s eating a snack right now, so it’s not a good time.”
“Please,” I breathe. “I’m begging you. I just want to hear his voice. It’s been too long, and I’m his mother. I know I’ve fucked up in the past, and I’m not perfect, but I’m asking you for a sliver here, okay? Just a minute. Just to hear my own son.”
She goes quiet, and every second of that silence stretches me thin. I brace for the no, for the click, for the way she likes to twist the knife.
Instead, she exhales. “Okay, fine. You have two minutes.”
My eyes sting with instant relief.
“Thank you,” I whisper, but I don’t think she hears it.
I listen to her call him. “Milo, your mom’s on the phone. Come say hi.”
The next thing I register is his little scream. “Mommy!”
And for the first time all day, my heart feels like it might actually stay in my chest.
“Mommy, when are you coming to get me? I don't want to stay here anymore.”
The words punch straight through me. Before I can answer, I hear my sister in the background.
“You’re an ungrateful little shit.”
“Don't listen to her,” I tell him. “Mommy’s trying really hard to get us a place to live, and that way we can be together, okay? I promise I'm trying so hard for you. Just know how much I love you. Not a minute goes by that I don't think about you or want to be with you.”
“I don't care where we live. I just want to be with you.”
I can just see that little pout, and it destroys me.
“I know, baby. But for now, you have to be my brave boy and be good for your aunt. Do you promise?”
“Yes, Mommy. I promise.” His small, sad voice just about breaks my heart.
Tears sting my eyes, but I fight them. “I love you so much, sweetheart. You’re the only thing that matters to me in this world. Do you know that? Mommy loves you so, so much.”
“I know you do, Mommy.”
Choking back a cry, I press the phone against my chest as the tears finally spill over.
“Come on, Milo,” my sister calls. “Go finish your food. Mama's done now.”
“I don’t want to be done,” he says, and it slices right through me.
The next thing I hear is her. “All right, are you happy now? You talked to him. I have things to do, so if there's nothing else…”
“Please just be good to him, okay?”
“I’m always good,” she snaps, then the call cuts off.
I stare at the dark screen as everything inside me cracks open. I fold forward over the steering wheel, sobs shaking out of me, not knowing if the promise I just made to my baby will ever actually come true.
It takes a while before I can breathe again. When I finally pull myself together, I start the car, edge out of the lot, and drive until I find a side street where I can park without anyone seeing me. Hands still trembling, I shift into park just as a text comes in from an unknown number.
But I already know who it is.
Eli
This is the link. Make sure you submit a hot picture of yourself. Not the way you looked today or you'll never get accepted.
I go a little lightheaded, fingers digging into the edges of my phone, but I tap the link anyway. A simple application pops up, asking for my name, age, measurements, a few “recent photos.” I scroll past that and hit the terms of use.
Once submitted, your application is final and cannot be withdrawn.
My throat dries out. So if I send this, that’s it. No changing my mind?
Oh my God. How the hell am I supposed to do this?
I keep scrolling to the section listing different auctions: a virginity auction, a marriage auction, and the one Eli mentioned, the claim auction. When I click it, a new page opens with a neat little block of text, like it’s advertising a vacation package.
Have you ever wanted to submit to someone else? Give them power over you? The claim auction is designed for those who crave giving someone else complete ownership.
Starting bids begin at $500,000. The winning claimant will take you home that night.
You are required to live with the person (or persons) who claim you for a period of thirty days.
During that time, you will be expected to be available to them in all ways they see fit.
Upon completion of the thirty days, you will receive 50% of the final winning bid.
That means I would have to have sex and God knows what else with whoever wins me?
My head spins. I gape at the words until they blur, then hit the little X and close the page. I can’t. I can’t do this.
My mind races in circles, looking for exits that don’t exist. Maybe I can pull Milo out of school and disappear with him. Just run. Different state, different name. Live out of the car if I have to.
But the thought of him curled up in the backseat night after night like I do now makes me sick. He deserves a bed. A home. A proper childhood.
No. I can’t do that to him.
The tears come again, spilling over. The car feels smaller now, like the air itself is pressing in, squeezing my lungs until I can barely pull in oxygen.
Tomorrow, I have to see Kirill. It’s the day he brings Lev in, just like he does every week.
I have no idea how I’m supposed to look him in the eye, set their food down like nothing’s changed, and pretend I’m not the one who’s just been ordered to betray him.