Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
KIRILL
Sloane leans in to whisper something to her friend just as we slide into our usual booth, and for half a second, I tell myself she’s just busy. That I’m imagining it. But I know I’m not, not when it’s Mandy who comes over with a notepad in her hand instead of Sloane.
“What can I get you guys?” she asks.
“Why isn’t Sloane serving us?”
She hesitates, teeth catching on her bottom lip. Her shoulders lift like she’s brushing it off, but the tension in her face says something else entirely.
“There’s been a little moving around today,” she says. “I’m your server.”
Across the room, Sloane is already at another table with her back to me, shoulders tight under that diner shirt, hair pulled up, hands moving fast as she writes down an order. When she glances over, it’s quick, like she regrets it the second her eyes land on mine. Then she turns away again.
Yeah. She’s avoiding me. And I don’t fucking like it. Not one bit.
My attention is still on Sloane as I give Mandy our order and she scribbles it down.
“All right, I'll get you your drinks. The food should be ready shortly.”
She heads toward the back while I remain focused on Sloane. On why she’s acting like this.
What the hell happened? Is this about the other night? How I told her it wouldn’t work between us?
Blyat. I never want her to think I’m using her. She should know by now I would never do that. Haven’t I shown her how much I care?
Just because I told her we can’t be together doesn’t mean she doesn’t matter. It’s the opposite. She matters too much.
And I hate that she doesn’t know it.
Mandy comes back with our drinks and sets them down, but instead of walking off, she hesitates, her eyes flicking toward where Sloane is.
“She really likes you, you know,” she says quietly. “She’d probably kill me for telling you—and hell, you probably don’t even deserve her—but she deserves to be happy. She’s an amazing person.”
Before I can get a word out, she’s already turning away, heading back toward the counter and leaving me sitting there with that little bomb she just dropped.
I wrap my hand around the glass, barely tasting the drink, eyes finding Sloane again. What the fuck has she told Mandy about me?
When our food arrives, I barely touch mine and let Lev finish before we head out.
On our way to the door, I cut toward Sloane and stop in front of her just as she turns from the counter, ready to head to another table. She stops short the second she notices me there, her face going carefully blank, like she’s purposely trying not to act like herself with me.
“Kirill.” Her voice is polite. Too polite. Like I’m any other customer.
I reach into my wallet and hand her a stack of cash. “This is for you. I was going to leave it as your tip, but you decided to avoid me today. Any reason why?”
“Kirill, please. I don't want your money, okay? And I wasn't avoiding you. I…um…was just serving another section today.”
A dry laugh slips out of me. I lift my hand and catch a loose strand of her hair, tucking it behind her ear, my fingertip brushing her soft skin. Her lashes flutter, her chest rising on a sharp breath she tries to hide.
“You expect me to believe that? You think I don't know you well enough to know when you're ignoring me?”
She sighs. “I can’t keep taking money from you.”
“Why not? I have more than I know what to do with.”
Her eyes flash, a quick spark of anger. “Because I’m not your charity case, that’s why.”
My jaw tightens. My first instinct is to tell her she’s being ridiculous, that she doesn’t get to decide what I do with my money, but I don’t say that.
“You think that’s what this is?” I ask instead.
She exhales loudly like she’s exhausted, and it makes me wonder even more what’s going on with her.
“What else would it be?” She raises a brow.
I draw closer, close enough to feel the tension humming off her. “Friends help each other, and I thought we already established that we are friends.”
Her mouth tightens. “We’re not friends.”
Those words punch right into me. In an instant, I catch her hand before she can move away, my fingers closing around hers, not giving her the chance to pull back.
I lean in, my voice dropping low so only she can hear. “Then what are we, solnishko?”
“Please, Kirill.” The words tear out of her like they hurt coming out.
“Whatever is going on, you can tell me.”
“Nothing is going on.” She yanks her hand free, eyes flicking toward the tables. “I’ve gotta work.”
“Fine. But you are taking this money, and I will not accept no for an answer.”
Her face falls, and she stares at my outstretched hand before she takes the cash.
“Thanks.” She bites the inside of her cheek like she wants to say more, but is afraid to.
I lower my mouth to her ear. “I care about you, malyshka. Deeply. So if anything is going on or you need my help, all you have to do is tell me and I will fix it. No questions asked.”
Her eyes fill with tears when I return my gaze, and every instinct in me screams to demand answers, but that would only scare her. I don’t want to do that.
“I want you to trust me.”
My lips drop to the spot just beneath her ear, and I press a slow kiss there. She shudders, a small tremor running through her body that I feel all the way to my bones.
“You are the only woman I’ve ever wanted to give the world to, Sloane. I need you to know that.”
“Don’t say that.” Tears well up again, glassing her eyes.
I lift my hands, thumbs brushing the tops of her cheeks, catching one before it can fall. Every part of me wants to haul her against me, to kiss her until she believes me.
My jaw locks when she wraps her fingers around my wrists and gently pulls my hands away.
“I really have to go back to work now,” she whispers, even though I can see how badly she wants to stay.
She clears her throat, straightens her spine, and turns from me, tucking everything she feels back behind that brave little smile. Then she crouches in front of Lev.
“It was so good to see you, sweetie.”
He gives her a small, shy smile, then suddenly throws his arms around her neck, clinging to her.
His hands knot in the fabric at her back, and she folds him in tight, eyes fluttering shut as she holds him like she’s afraid to let go.
There’s something final in it, something that looks too damn much like goodbye.
Cold settles in my chest.
Did Barrett do something? Eli? Have they come near her? Threatened her? Backed her into a corner she thinks she has to stand in alone?
If she believes I’m going to let her run from me without a fight, she’s wrong. Dead wrong.
I don’t know what’s going on with her yet. But once I find out, I’m going to fix it.
Whatever it takes.
SLOANE
The second they’re out the door, whatever composure I’ve been faking snaps. I rush to the back, push through the swinging door, and head straight for the locker room.
As soon as I’m alone, the sound rips out of me. A raw, broken cry I can’t swallow down this time. I grab the edge of the metal bench and bend over, shoulders shaking, trying to survive the guilt ripping through me.
Facing him, knowing what I might have to do to him, to Lev… I don’t know how I’m supposed to live with myself.
I’m a fraud. A failure.
It’s like I’m trapped between two doors and both lead straight to hell. If I tell him what’s happening, if I confess everything, Eli might go after Milo, and then what? How do I wake up every day knowing I put my son in the line of fire? How do I go on if something happens to him because of me?
But if I stay quiet and do what Eli wants, I’m handing Kirill and his son over to danger too.
No matter which way I turn, someone I love gets hurt.
I drag myself to the sink and splash cold water on my face, trying to wash off the panic, the shame, the way his voice sounded when he told me he wanted to give me the world. My reflection looks pale and wild-eyed. I don’t even recognize myself.
Before I can even reach for a paper towel, my phone buzzes in my apron pocket. I don’t have to look at the screen to know who it is.
Eli
Did you apply?
My thumb hovers. Every instinct in me wants to lie, but there’s no point.
Sloane
No.
A few seconds crawl by, heavy and thick, and my heart pounds harder with each one. Then another text pops up, and my pulse drops straight through the floor.
Eli
I figured you’d say that. So I made sure to have a little leverage. Just so you understand how serious I am.
The next message is a picture.
Milo.
He’s at the park near my sister’s place, standing by the swings with a ball in his hands, head thrown back mid-laugh. I recognize the shirt he’s wearing, the one with the faded dinosaur on it that I bought him. There’s no mistaking that this is recent.
A sick, rolling wave hits me so hard I grab the edge of the sink.
Eli
That’s how easily I can get to him. Anytime I want. Your deadline is tonight. If you haven’t submitted your application by then, he’s dead.
The words blur. The picture doubles. I can’t breathe.
Milo’s little face stares up at me from the screen.
The room tilts as I squeeze my eyes shut and press my fingers to the bridge of my nose. There’s no way out. Not one that doesn’t risk my baby boy.
Sloane
Just leave him alone. I’ll do it. You made your point.
The reply comes almost instantly.
Eli
Let me know when it’s done.
I shove the phone into my jeans and push to my feet just as the door swings open and Mandy steps in, concern written all over her face.
“Are you alright? I saw you rush back here and wanted to check on you.”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I drag in a breath and pull my shoulders back, tucking everything ugly away behind the same tired smile. “It was just…hard to see him.”
Which is the truth, just not all of it.
Her expression softens. “Are you sure putting distance between you two is the right thing here?”
“It is.” The answer comes out fast.
“I do think he wants you, Sloane.”
“It doesn’t matter. It would never work.”
She studies me like she wants to argue, but whatever she sees on my face must shut it down. I’m wrung out. There’s nothing in me.
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore, okay?”
“Okay. But I’m here for whatever you need. Always.”
Her arm comes around my shoulders and I let myself lean into it, just for a while.
“We should totally get shit-faced tonight,” she adds. “I think that might help you a little.”
A small laugh slips out of me. “You know I don’t drink.”
“Crap. I forgot. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. Plus, I don’t think that would help anyway.”
“You’re right.” She shrugs. “Maybe you can come over and we can watch a movie or something, if you want. I have lots of snacks.”
Part of me feels like I’m using her for somewhere warm to crash, but the bigger part just doesn’t want to be alone with my thoughts tonight. And I do love being around her. She’s one of the only good things I’ve got.
“That sounds nice. Thanks, Mandy.”
“Of course.” She scrunches her face like it’s nothing. “You can even sleep over if you’d like. That way you don’t have to be around your nasty sister.”
The irony twists deep. I actually want to be at my sister’s, just to be closer to Milo.
But Mandy doesn’t know that. She doesn’t know the half of it.
She never will.