Chapter 22
Doug
I glared at Randy, my pulse racing, my brain refusing to compute.
“Why is my son here? And what the fuck is he doing in your bed? I’m not gonna ask what he’s doing because from where I’m standing, that’s pretty fucking obvious.”
Randy was off Joshua in a heartbeat, all the color driven from his face. He grabbed his shorts from the floor and squirmed into them.
Joshua dragged the comforter over him. “Dad? What are you doing here?”
I ignored him.
“Logan’s your son?” Randy jerked his head in Joshua’s direction, and received a clearly apologetic glance.
“Logan is my middle name. It’s the one most people know me by.” His face contorted. “Apart from my dad.”
Randy swiveled to stare at me, aghast. “I didn’t know, okay?”
If I stood there a second longer, something was going to explode, and my money was on my freakin’ head.
“Get dressed,” I said in a clipped tone. “I’ll see you both downstairs.” I turned and left the room, my heart still hammering, my hands clenched. I hurried into the kitchen, torn between a glass of water or cognac.
The cognac won.
I knocked back half the amber liquid, my legs trembling, unable to shake that image of Randy and Joshua.
Why was there no fucking clue this was going on?
Another drink, and I was a little closer to calm, but not by much. At least my thoughts were a bit less muddled as I tried to work backwards.
Randy had never mentioned the name Logan. In fact, he’d never given a name, not this time. Our policy, remember? No real names?
Then it hit me. Our conversation. The one where I’d told him I felt sure I knew what Joshua was hiding. Well, I guess now I knew what that was. And nothing could’ve put up a red flag because he had no idea Joshua and Logan were one and the same.
I put the glass down on the countertop when I caught footsteps on the stairs. As they came into the kitchen, I took one look at Joshua’s drawn face and forced an exaggerated sigh of relief.
“So this is why you’ve been putting distance between us? Helluva way to learn you’re gay. Or is it bi?” I searched my memory. Had Angela even once mentioned he had a girlfriend? I didn’t think so.
“Before we launch into this conversation,” Randy interjected. “Can we pick a name and stick with that?” His gaze met mine. “And you don’t get to pick one—he does.”
I took a deep breath. “What do you want us to call you?”
“Logan.” He squared his shoulders.
“Okay, Logan it is.”
Randy pointed to the dining table, and all three of us sat, me on one side, the pair of them facing me. Logan spoke first, a slight tremor in his voice.
“I was going to tell you. About being gay, I mean.” He swallowed. “I didn’t think you’d react like this.” Logan inclined his head in the direction of my room. “And especially after what I heard when I arrived.”
I set my jaw. “Not gonna discuss that. Let’s talk about what you’re doing with him.”
“ Him ?” Randy spluttered.
I fired him a hard stare. “You can keep quiet. I know exactly what this is, what he is to you. He’s just another notch on your bedpost.” I ignored Randy’s look of horror and gave Logan a beseeching glance. “Do you have any idea how many guys he fucks? You’re just the latest in a very long line.”
Logan flinched and I knew I’d gotten through to him. He sat so fucking straight, his eyes blazing.
“I might be the latest, but I’m also the last.” Then he took Randy’s hand in his, his eyes warm before returning his attention to me. “Now ask him how many there have been since we met.”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t care what line he’s been feeding you. I—”
“Dad.” Logan locked gazes with me. “If you’d walked in on us about twenty minutes ago, you’d have found him down on one knee, proposing.”
Proposing? What the everloving fuck?
I shook my head, as if that would drive the words he’d uttered from my brain.
“No. No. You’re twenty-two , for Christ’s sake. You should be playing the field, having a great time, getting the most out of these years before real life snaps a lock on you.”
Logan widened his eyes. “Why? Because that’s what you did?”
“This is do as I say, not as I do, all right?” I snarled.
He sagged into his chair. “Wow. A typical parental response, which is a joke, coming from you.”
I gaped at him. “And what does that mean?”
“It means you’ve been a part-time dad all my life. A little late to be laying down the law now, don’t you think?”
I clenched my fists again. “You have no idea what happened between your mom and me.”
I don’t recognize him . Logan had grown into a man, and somehow, I’d missed it. And despite my churning stomach, I was so goddamn proud.
He leaned forward, his eyes locked on me. “Then tell me.”
I sucked air into my lungs and told him everything. He sat there and never said a word, but held onto Randy’s hand the whole time.
I wasn’t sure how to feel about that.
Finally, I was done. “So you see, I made sure I was a part of your life.”
Logan said nothing for a moment, but his neutral expression wasn’t what I’d expected. He gazed at his and Randy’s joined hands. “You paid toward my upkeep. My clothes. My studies. You visited—occasionally. But not once did you ever ask if I’d like to go on a vacation, just you and me. You never took me anywhere. And all the things you say you did for me? None of that gives you the right to preach to me.” He raised his chin and stared into my eyes. “You say you know about Randy. What about you? How many guys have you been through?” Before I could respond, he gestured to Randy. “I met him when I was twenty. I’d dated a few guys, I didn’t have much experience of sex, and I was already tired of meeting guys who only wanted one thing—me in their bed, or vice versa. Well, I didn’t want that. I wanted to get to know someone. I wanted an honest-to-God relationship. And then I met Randy. We share common interests. He fits me, and I know I fit him.” His eyes grew warm again. “And sure, our relationship began in his bed—” He pointed to the ceiling. “ That bed, actually—but it went on from there to become so much more than a roll between the sheets.” Logan stared at me. “Two years, Dad. We’ve been together two years.”
I stilled. What the fuck?
“Every tale I’ve shared with you three during the last two years?” Randy’s voice was soft. “Those were hookups that happened before I met Logan.” He squeezed Logan’s hand, his gaze focused on me. “I know what concerns you—the age gap. Yeah, it’s bothered me too. But it doesn’t bother Logan.” His face hardened a little. “And if this conversation is going to go anywhere, the first thing you need to do is stop being such a goddamn hypocrite. Then we can talk.”
I wanted to tell him I was no such thing, but Logan’s question wouldn’t go away.
How many guys have you been through?
I had no idea, but it was certainly into double figures, maybe even triple.
Hell, how many guys have I hooked up with this year ?
Randy had nailed it. I was a hypocrite. I had to own that.
“You’re right,” I said with a sigh. “But you have to understand this situation has really taken the wind out of my sails.”
“I totally get that,” he replied, his tone earnest. He glanced at Logan. “I’ve done nothing but think about him all weekend. Why do you think I wasn’t in there with you guys?” Randy arched his eyebrows.
I expelled another breath. “Because that would’ve been cheating on Logan.”
He nodded. “Logan asked if we could spend a week here, and I loved that idea. Can’t tell you when I last took a vacation.” He paused. “I told Jeff how I felt last night. He advised me to tell Logan the truth.” Another squeeze of Logan’s hand. “That I love him.”
There was no denying the adoration I saw in Randy’s eyes, and I realized this wasn’t the man I’d known for more than half my life.
This was a man in love. I might not have experienced that particular emotion, but I knew enough to recognize it when I saw it.
“You really want to settle down?”
He smiled. “God, yes. I’ve been monogamous for two years and I freakin’ love it. When I’m not in LA working and Logan’s not in classes, we’re at the house in Carmel. He might as well live there, there’s so much of his stuff in it.” He stilled. “Hey, what about it? Want to make my house your permanent address? I know we talked about doing that once your studies were over, but I don’t want to wait anymore.”
Logan’s face glowed. “I’d love that.” He glanced at me. “You know what I love about Randy’s place? Everywhere you look, there are photos of us.”
I peered at their joined hands and spotted the ring. I stiffened. “That’s all you gave him?”
Randy rolled his eyes. “It was all I had, okay? I didn’t plan on this. And besides, it’s temporary.”
“Everything is temporary!” I exclaimed.
Randy released Logan’s hand, removed his phone, and typed. He turned it toward me. “There. See? Three or four jewelry stores on Lake Boulevard, before you get to Tahoe City. Monday morning, we’re going to take a drive down and Logan gets to pick out a ring. Whatever he wants.”
I looked from Randy to Logan. “You really want this?”
Logan’s wide smile was a thing of beauty. “He makes me happy, Dad. So happy, I couldn’t even get close to telling you how much.”
“There is one thing you obviously haven’t considered yet,” Randy informed me.
“And what’s that?”
He grinned. “You’re going to be my father-in-law.”
I gaped at him. “Oh my fucking God.”
Okay, that was funny as hell.
Noise erupted as the others burst into the kitchen, wearing little but their underwear. Austin and Brandon went to the fridge, Cameron following, all of them chatting animatedly.
“What’s going on in here?” Travis demanded. “We heard yelling a moment ago.” He spied Logan and smiled. “Hey, you must be Randy’s friend.”
“We’re starving. Isn’t it time for lunch?” Jeff’s gaze alighted on Logan, and he smiled. “Hey, you got here.”
Randy stood. “Guys, lunch might be a little late.”
I snorted. “And we have another tale for you, one I guarantee you are never going to believe.”
There was still a lot to be said, and a lot of readjustment required.