Chapter 56 Crashing #2
"I guess not.” She looks down. “I’m sorry for the things I said. For everything that happened. I was scared and upset. It wasn’t your fault.”
She admits that one brother wasn’t my fault. What about the other one? And when she says she’s sorry for everything, how far back does that go? Does she mean for yelling at me, kissing me, or pushing me away?
“We appreciate what you’ve done for Tyler. He needs someone like you now.” She looks into my eyes. “I heard what you said to him after he destroyed your car. You had every right to rip him to pieces, but you didn’t. You said exactly the right thing. I was jealous.”
“Jealous? Of me?”
“You’re so much better with him than I am. I wish I could be what he needs.” She looks down. “I wish I could be what anyone needs.”
I rub my thumbs across her back, wishing I had the courage to tell her she’s exactly what I need.
“That tickles,” she pulls away, but she's smiling.
“Sorry, I know how you hate to be tickled,” I grin back. It’s good to see her smile like that. “You’re beautiful, you know that.”
She looks like the old Jess. She’s trying to look serious, but a smirk is playing around the corners of her mouth. “Well, which is it?”
“Which is what?” I’m confused.
“First you said I was amazing, now you say I’m beautiful.”
“I said you look amazing, and that you are beautiful.”
"So I’m not amazing, just beautiful?” She turns her mouth down into a pretty pout. I want to kiss her. I wonder what she would do if I did. Will I ever get to kiss those lips again?
“You’re beautiful and amazing. In fact, you might be the most amazing woman I’ve ever known.”
“Thank you.” The playfulness is gone. Maybe she thinks she took it too far.
Her voice is shaky when she speaks again.
“And thank you for what you said that night when I came home so completely messed up. You didn’t push or judge me.
You were just there.” She swallows. “You gave me the courage to do something I’d needed to do for a long time, and the courage to ask for help. ”
I stare down at her. “I’m glad I was there.”
She looks away and shakes her head. “You’re always there. Somehow you show up exactly when I need you.” She closes her eyes and leans her cheek against my shoulder. “Thank you,” she whispers.
She doesn’t say anything else. I’m too afraid to talk and break whatever spell we’re both under. With every heartbeat, I want her to be mine again. I want to kiss her, but I'm afraid it would be too much, too soon.
The music moves to something upbeat. She pulls away. I try to hold on to her, but she slips out of my grasp.
“I’m sorry, Jacob, I have to leave early. My ride's here.”
For a horrible second, I expect to see Michael in the doorway, waiting to claim her again. It’s Angelica, the roommate I met two nights ago.
I grab Jess’ hand, afraid to let her go. “I’ll take you home, Jess.”
She shakes her head and smiles. “I’m not going home. I’m going back to school. I have class tomorrow.” She walks away.
I’m cursing myself. I had a full dinner and two dances. I should have said more. I should have figured out a way to tell her I still love her.
She comes back. Her dress traded for a pair of jeans and a jacket; a long dress bag over her arm. She hands the bag to Angelica and crosses the room to the bride and groom. I follow her, like I was really her plus one and not just a wedding crasher.
“Everything is beautiful. Congratulations Nikki.” Jess hugs the bride.
“Thanks.” Nikki hugs her back and then looks around. “Kendra?”
Jess’ face darkens. “She was going to come but…”
“I get it,” Nikki nods sadly. “Thanks for coming. It’s so good to see you. I’m sorry you have to go early.”
“Me too,” Jess says, “school and work. That’s my life right now.”
Nikki shakes her head. “You were always the responsible one.”
I’m standing off to the side, trying to look like I belong with her. Nikki turns and reaches her hand to me. “It’s good to finally meet you, Jacob.”
I look at her in shock. “You know who I am?”
“How could I not?” She nods toward Jess. “She had a full-on shrine to you in her bedroom our first semester of college. You were literally all she talked about.”
Jess is blushing and looking at Nikki like she wants her to shut up. Personally, I’d like to hear more.
“Shrine?” I ask.
“Complete with lit incense and bowls of fruit,” Nikki sounds so serious, for a second I believe her. Her eyes dance mischievously. “Okay, maybe not that bad, but she was a bit obsessed. It’s good to see you two have worked things out.”
I wait for Jess to contradict her, but she glances at her watch and says, “I’m so sorry. I need to get going.”
Nikki hugs her again and then hugs me. I shake the groom’s hand and follow Jess to the door.
When she reaches the parking lot, she stops in front of my new car. “This has to be yours.”
I put my hand on the hood of the Charger. “How did you guess?”
She shakes her head. “It wasn’t hard. Only, I thought you might have wanted something less conspicuous.”
I shrug. “You know me.”
“Yeah, I do.” She runs her fingers along the side of my car. “I take it Tyler doesn’t get to drive this one.”
I lean against the car next to her. “Not a chance.”
She looks up at me through her eyelashes. “Would you let me drive it?”
My heart beats faster. “Maybe. You didn’t wreck the last one.”
Angelica is keeping her distance, purposely giving us our privacy. I appreciate that.
“Would you like to try it now?” I ask.
She steps back from my car, like she said too much again. “I can’t. It’s getting late. I need to get on the road.”
I touch her shoulder. “Jess, I—” I’m not sure how to complete that sentence. I can’t just blurt out I still love you.
She looks up at me with a stern expression. “No more crashing stranger’s weddings. The next time you need a good meal. I’m sure my mom would be happy to feed you.”
I take a chance and push my luck. “What about you?”
She gives me a coy smile and bites her bottom lip. “Five hours is a long drive for breakfast.”
My heart thuds against my chest. Before I can think of anything to say, she wraps her arms around me and kisses me on the cheek. “It was good to see you, Jacob. Take care of yourself.”
"You too." I'm desperate to stop her, to say more, but I don't know what.
She stops with her hand on her car door. "My parents rented a condo for New Years weekend. We're going skiing." I stare at her, not sure if that's a statement or an invitation. "You'd have to share a room with Tyler, but if you want to come," she looks down, unsure, "I'm sure they wouldn't mind."
I stare at her for a long moment, trying to grasp what she just said. "You're inviting me to go skiing with you?"
"With my family, but yeah. I'll be there." Then she's talking fast, like she's embarrassed. "I understand if you're busy or if you can't get the time off. I just thought you might like to—"
"I'll be there."