Chapter 8
Kitt
Less than a day after getting the pictures from the sketch artists, I was already fed up with the sight of those leering faces. My fists itched to beat each one of them to a bloody pulp, and I’d had to stop myself from literally punching the paper.
It would have accomplished nothing except to break my hand against the hard wood of the desk.
I couldn’t bring myself to sleep while there was still work to be done, but I needed a break. Surely, no one would mind if I set the pictures aside for a minute to collect my thoughts.
It was nearly midnight when I stepped from the cottage I’d claimed as my own. The gurgling water of the pool caught my attention. Its constant ripples from the waterfall distorted the reflection of the sky, throwing light in all directions.
A dip in the pool sounded like just the thing I needed. The cool water could wash me clean of all the revolting truths bouncing around in my head.
I hadn’t brought any swimwear, this wasn’t a vacation after all, but a pair of boxer briefs would work well enough. No one was going to see me anyway. Stripping off my suit, I carefully folded each piece and left it all on a lawn chair near the pool before wading into the water.
The temperature was a little on the cold side, perfectly suited to chase away the tension from my shoulders. There was still so much work to do. I couldn’t afford to lounge around for long, but a few minutes wouldn’t hurt.
Not wanting to disturb anyone else, I found a secluded spot in an alcove behind the waterfall and relaxed back against one of the benches. The rush of falling water echoed around the cave like white noise, and I easily fell into a meditative state as I closed my eyes and relaxed.
It didn’t last long. A few minutes later, I heard splashing that didn’t coincide with the sound of the waterfall and felt a disruption to the rhythmic current of the water. Someone else had come into the cave. They didn’t say anything, so either they hadn’t noticed I was there, or they didn’t care.
Without moving, I cracked open my eyes just enough to look over at them.
Their back was to me, so I couldn’t see their face, but I still recognized them by the pink highlights in their hair.
Jordy.
The witness with the eidetic memory. The one who was probably going to end up being the key to the bell ringer case.
He hadn’t noticed me yet, and I didn’t want to startle him. All of the witnesses were twitchy when it came to close contact with strangers, which wasn’t surprising considering what they’d been through.
So, I closed my eyes and didn’t react as he wandered closer, waiting to see what he would do. It was obvious when he finally noticed me. His gasp was loud enough to be heard over the waterfall, and he splashed water everywhere as he ducked into the adjacent bench.
I chuckled to myself without showing any outward reaction. The young man was certainly no master of stealth.
Glancing over at the other alcove hidden behind a curtain of water, I wondered if Jordy was going to say anything.
Would he acknowledge my presence or were we just going to ignore each other?
The silence persisted.
So, ignore each other it was.
That was fine with me, but just as I was about to continue relaxing, I noticed a slight part appear in the water curtain between us. Quickly closing my eyes, I willed myself not to smile.
Did the other man really think he was being sneaky?
I could feel his gaze on me as heavy as if he ran a hand directly over my skin.
Oh well. I wasn’t self-conscious. If he wanted to look at me, then I was happy to let him fill his eyes as much as possible.
The watchful stare persisted for a few minutes, before suddenly disappearing, and I was left feeling a little disappointed. The other man’s shy attention was cute, and I certainly didn’t mind the ego boost.
With a shrug, I sat up. It was probably time for me to get back to work anyway. Or maybe I should actually do the healthy thing and get some sleep. Either way, that was enough late-night swimming for now.
I didn’t manage to take two steps away from the bench before I was brought up short. The waterfall made it hard to hear anything else, but just below the insistent rush of water, another sound caught my attention.
Breathing.
From Jordy’s alcove, I could hear short, labored breaths, and not the kind that came from pleasure. This breathing was distressed.
I hesitated for only a moment before approaching him. If he didn’t want my help, then he was free to tell me off, but there was no way I could leave until I was certain he was okay.
Inside the alcove, tucked amongst the shadows, I found Jordy curled into a ball on the bench, knees tucked up against his chest. He didn’t respond when I called out to him, or even when I touched his shoulder. The young man was locked deep inside a panic attack.
What had caused it?
Just a few minutes ago he’d been fine, and now, he was completely catatonic.
My thoughts drifted back to the papers on my desk.
Along with the two dozen faces of Jordy’s abusers, each also came with a list of their transgression against him.
I’d read through enough to get the general idea and dreaded when I’d have to examine everything in more detail.
Such vile acts would have been bad enough if done to an adult.
The fact that they had been done to the young man right in front of me when he was only a child, was enough to turn anyone’s stomach.
No, I didn’t need to ask why Jordy was having a panic attack. With such trauma in his past, it was probably a miracle that he didn’t panic more often.
But what should I do about it now?
Everything I knew about panic attacks said that it was important to ground the person in reality by getting them to focus on their different senses.
The atmosphere in the cave was a horrible place for this.
The lighting was dark, the sound of the waterfall drowned out almost everything, and we were surrounded by water, which dulled physical touch.
I could only come up with one idea, but I wasn’t sure if it would help or hinder the situation.
“Sorry if I’m overstepping,” I told him as I gathered him up into my arms. He didn’t respond, but he didn’t immediately freak out even more, so I took that as a good sign.
Pressing his ear against my chest, I kept my own breathing deep and even as I encouraged him to focus on the sound of my heartbeat.
It worked slowly.
First, his muscles relaxed one by one until he came out of his defensive ball and rested more comfortably against my chest. Then, his breathing evened out. I knew it had worked when he finally opened his eyes and looked up at me with a clear gaze.
“Um... hi,” he said, repeating the very first words he’d said to me. A blush spread across his face, turning him just as crimson from embarrassment as he’d been when I caught him before.
“Are you all right?” I asked.
It was such an idiotic question. Of course he wasn’t all right, but I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
There was no script for this kind of situation.
In a courtroom, I knew exactly what I needed to say to get a jury on my side.
I could practice my speeches ahead of time to make them as effective as possible.
Comforting someone in the spur of the moment had never been my strong suit.
I could see the moment reality caught up with Jordy.
His pupils constricted until they were just small black dots lost in a sea of blue, and he sat up until he was no longer leaning against me.
I was loathe to let him go, but I also didn’t want to restrain him, so I kept my grip light enough that he could easily pull away.
To my relief, he only put a few inches between us, looking me up and down like he thought I might be some sort of mirage, and he was trying to see through me.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean... it’s just... everything’s been so chaotic and I just...”
He stuttered between one sentence and the next, barely stringing more than a few words together at a time.
Even when I tried to interject, he kept babbling until I had no choice but to place a finger over his lips to silence him.
“It’s fine. You don’t have to explain. Just answer me this one thing. Are you okay?”
Jordy bit his lip, and his breath ghosted over the pad of my finger.
“Yeah. I’m... I’m okay.” He pulled away from me, looking incredibly small with his arms wrapped around himself. “It’s late, and I’m tired. I’m gonna go to bed now.”
The smile that he gave me couldn’t have looked more fake if it was a literal mask.
“We’ve got a lot to do tomorrow, after all. I’m not done with the sketch artist, right?”
He started making his way out of the pool and I followed him. The young man may claim to be fine, but I could still see him trembling a bit, and it was obviously not just from the cold water.
“I’m calling off the sketch artist tomorrow.
You’ve already given us more than enough to work with.
Once we’ve identified the pictures that we have, then we can bring the sketch artist back in for another round, but for now, feel free to sleep in as long as you want tomorrow.
You’ve already more than done your part. ”
We reached the edge of the pool where the water was only a few inches deep. It seemed that some of Jordy’s shivering might also be from the cold. The moment the air hit his wet skin, he broke out in goosebumps from head to toe and wrapped his arms tighter around himself.
Looking around, I didn’t see any other clothes or even a towel waiting by the side of the pool for him.
He must have come out in only his boxers.
The cottages weren’t far away, but I didn’t like the idea of him being cold even for the few steps it would take him to get inside.
So, grabbing my own jacket from the pile of clothes I’d left on the lawn chair, I draped it over his shoulders.
There was no hiding the fact that Jordy was smaller than me, but I hadn’t realized how great our size difference was until I saw my jacket hanging off of him.
The bottom hem reached his knees, and the shoulders were so wide he had to grip the lapel with his hands to keep it from sliding off.
He stared down at the jacket in shock, rubbing the fabric between his fingers for a moment, before looking up at me with a smile.
This time, the expression was real.
He didn’t say anything, just gave me a small nod before hurrying off toward his cottage. I watched him go, waiting until he was safely behind a closed door before gathering up my remaining clothing and returning to my own lodgings.
Each cottage came equipped with its own luxury bathroom. I took my time showering, cleaning off the chlorine from the pool and letting the warm water soak into my chilled skin. I turned my face into the shower, letting the water rain down on me, and I focused on meditative breathing.
It was so easy to fall back into a familiar routine.
All of my usual products sat on the shower’s shelf, ready for use.
After that, I spent some time shaving in front of the bathroom mirror.
Directly after a shower, when my skin and hair were soft from the hot water, was always the best time to shave and produced the best results.
These self-care routines were familiar and brought with them a sense of peace. My heart rate and breathing both remained calm, and my hands never so much as shook.
Yet, it still wasn’t enough.
After finishing in the bathroom, I dressed in my most comfortable pair of baggy sweatpants and stepped back into the room that I’d claimed as an office.
There, on the desk right where I’d left them, were the pictures of Jordy’s abusers.
Twenty-four faces stared up at me, and there were a lot more waiting to be sketched.
My face contorted into a snarl and my vision turned red.
Acidic furry burned the back of my tongue as I snatched those pictures and started ripping them into pieces.
Rip after rip, the paper crumbled under my hands.
I shouted and yelled, cursing names that I didn’t even know yet, until not a single picture remained unscathed.
The shredded paper fell from my fingers until the remains of those hateful images covered my floor like snow.
I stood there among the destruction, panting like I’d just finished an intense cardio session on the treadmill. The pictures were only copies and could be replaced at any time. Destroying them accomplished nothing, and the satisfaction it brought me was fleeting and hollow.
Tears welled up in my eyes, and I didn’t try to fight them. Kneeling down among the mess my anger had created, I let the tears fall and stain the shredded paper under my feet.
Why?
Why do such monsters exist?
Why are there so many?
The way Jordy talked about working with the sketch artist implied that there were a lot more people he needed to describe, and I didn’t doubt it.
The bell ringers were a large organization, and they weren’t the only human traffickers in the world.
They weren’t even the only ones in the country.
Even if everything went according to plan and the bell ringers were completely eradicated, more monsters like them would still remain.
Why?
How could such people exist in the world?
I tried to remain rational about the whole thing, treat it like just another case, but the more I thought about it, the more it made no sense. Surely, these people couldn’t be human. They had to be some monstrous aliens from another planet, or demons straight from hell.
I was struck with the furious urge to grab a gun and start shooting them all one by one.
Hunt each one of them down the same way they’d hunted down their victims and put a bullet between their eyes.
I wasn’t that good with a gun. It would probably take me a few shots to kill them, but that didn’t matter.
It would probably even be better if they were forced to suffer before they died.
The violent urge burned hot for a moment, then immediately fizzled out. Killing them wouldn’t work. Even if I could find them, killing them would just open the door for more monsters to take their place.
I was no vigilante.
I was a lawyer.
I didn’t wield guns.
The law was my weapon.
If I wanted to stop these monsters, I had to rake them across the coals in court. Make an example of them and send a message to all future abusers. They weren’t safe. The law would catch up with them one way or another. I would make sure of it.
Sucking in a deep breath, I held it in my lungs for a moment before slowly exhaling and letting the last of my anger drain out with it.
Then, I stood from the mess of paper and went in search of a broom to start picking up the pieces.