Chapter 9 #2
“It’s not like that. I wasn’t in trouble.
I got an honorable discharge. It’s just the way the fucking system works.
The seventy-fifth regiment isn’t designed to let everyone move up.
There are short contracts, usually only two years.
As you move up in the ranks, the number of slots shrinks.
So, not everyone gets to stay. It’s designed that way.
They want to spread the rangers into the normal army ranks.
But I’d spent eight years in the ranger program, and I didn’t want to go backwards.
It felt like a demotion. So I quit. And I’ve been wondering if I made a mistake ever since.
I’ve even thought about signing back up again, mainly because it’s the only thing I know. ”
The pain was evident in his voice. This had been eating at him.
“Are you really thinking about reenlisting?” Selfishly, I hated the idea. I’d known the man for less than two weeks, but I felt like it would shatter me if he left the mountain. I might never have him, but I could at least be in his orbit.
He ran a hand across his chin. “I was. But now the decision’s harder.”
“They won’t let you have a beard in the army,” I joked. He’d been growing his in, and what had started as a seriously sexy five-o’clock shadow was now starting to develop into the first stage of a mountain man beard.
He inched his hand over to my leg. “I find that maybe I like civilian life, Gwen. I’ve enjoyed working at the sawmill so far. It’s a good group of guys, and… I feel like I’m starting to settle in here.”
I glanced at him, words frozen in my throat. I wanted to ask if there was any other reason he liked being on Red Oak Mountain. If maybe he liked me, too.
But I couldn’t get the words out. Not while his hand was resting on my thigh like it belonged there.
On top of that, his eyes were holding me hostage while I was supposed to be concentrating on the road.
“You’re going to cause an accident,” I finally managed to stammer out.
His lips curved up, and he pulled his hand away. “Sorry about that. Didn’t mean to get you all worked up, Gwen.”
“W-we’re here,” I said, changing the subject as we pulled in to Rusty’s auto shop. “And there’s your new truck.”
Knox looked like he had a lot more he wanted to say.
But Rusty and the seller were already walking over to us.
I got out of the car, my thigh warm where he’d touched it, as though it had been seared by fire. I longed for this man, almost desperate for another taste of him.
If he invited me to sleep with him again, would I? I already knew the answer of whether I should. That answer was a no. But would I? That was an entirely different question.
I stood back and tried to calm my nerves while he negotiated with the men. Rusty’s wife Jolene came out to chat with me, and we watched while they haggled on the price.
It looked like Knox wasn’t even going to test-drive it first. He was going straight into the sale.
But I knew that was okay, because it was Max Hill selling the truck, the owner of the Bear Den. And he was solid as they come.
Jolene leaned over as Knox lifted the hood of the truck. He took off his coat before inspecting the engine. That left him in a short-sleeve t-shirt, all his glorious muscles on display.
“He’s really cute, isn’t he?” Jolene asked.
Grinning, I joked, “You’re a married woman. You’re not supposed to look.”
She giggled and grabbed my arm. “Yeah, I’m very happily married, but you’re not. So the real question is, have you been looking at that chunk of manliness? You’re sharing a house with him, right?”
I swallowed hard and didn’t respond. I currently couldn’t take my eyes off Knox, so it was pretty dang obvious to her that I was slightly enamored with the man.
She gave me some sage advice. “All you need to do is get trapped in the hot cocoa hut with him. A guaranteed happily ever after. Works every time.”
I glanced at her. “Is that how you and Rusty met?”
Jolene’s smile relaxed into something easy and natural as she sought her man out. “You could say so.”
The men shook hands, and Knox sauntered back over. “You want to christen this truck with me, Gwen?”
“In what way?” I stammered. The vision that popped into my head was of me bent over the tailgate while he gave me a second serving of what he’d dished up the other night. I could feel my cheeks burning.
He curved his lips up again. Smiling was turning into a regular occurrence for him. “I was thinking we could take a little drive out in the country.”
Jolene nodded at me enthusiastically right behind Knox where he couldn’t see her, mouthing, “Say yes.”
“Um…”
So Knox added to his sales pitch. “It wouldn’t be anything crazy. Just a sightseeing tour in my new pickup. I’m excited to get this truck, and I want to spin the wheels a little. Plus, if we go home now, you’ll just sit there and fret about Emerald until she gets back.”
This time, after I paused too long, Jolene spoke up for me.
In a heavy country drawl as smooth as honey, she told him, “Gwen says yes, but she expects you to be a perfect gentleman with her. All right? We’re talking church-on-Sunday behavior. You think you can manage that, Ranger?”
Jolene obviously had way more skill at talking to the opposite sex than I did. She seemed to have an innocent, flirtatious edge in her voice as she nudged the two of us together with her words.
I could see why Rusty had fallen for her. They made a cute couple.
Knox glanced over his shoulder, seeming surprised to see Jolene there.
Then he chuckled and looked back at me, his sexy bedroom eyes drawing me in.
“Yes, ma’am. I’m always like church on Sunday.”
My face heated up thinking about what he’d done to me in my bedroom during our one crazy night together. There’d been a devil in my bed making me burn with need.
Against all my better judgment, I squeaked out a yes, while I thought of him christening his truck with me straddled over him, hungry hips pumping into me.
I wasn’t an on-top kind of girl. But I wasn’t sure how else we could make love in a truck. Not that it would be making love.
What the hell was I even thinking?
I had officially entered the heartbreak stage of my infatuation with the man. If he suggested it, I would sleep with him again, even if I knew it would just make the pain of not having him that much worse.
Why did love have to hurt so bad?