6. Will
6
WILL
I stood there in the rain watching Ms. Reid descend the stairs into the subway station and feeling the ghost sensation of her lips on mine. My coat was drenched, and I didn't even put it back on. All I could do was stare after her wondering if I'd just made a foolish mistake. She was my employee and the dynamic at work might shift drastically following something like this, which wasn't something I could afford.
My gut tied into a knot all while my body was on fire, relishing the cold kisses from the sky as raindrops pattered on my face and hands. The authority and position I had over her might have been an influence she was unable to resist, but for me it was the chemistry. Ever since that award banquet last week I'd done nothing but think about her. I found myself daydreaming in the middle of meetings and distracted when talking on the phone to clients.
Now I'd gone and done it. When she stopped to thank me for walking her to the station, I couldn't control myself. I had to tell her how attractive I found her, and that kiss was so hot I knew I'd be feeling it for hours. Elizabeth Reid was addictive and somehow just being in her presence made me lose my mind and make impulsive choices.
When she was gone, out of sight in the station below ground, I turned and walked back toward the office. People passing me with umbrellas held over their heads gave me odd looks and made comments, but I walked in a daze in the rain with a stupid half grin plastered on my face. Maybe I had just done something utterly foolish, but I felt like a teenager again with a crush, and while my apprehension over how to handle the dynamic at work still loomed, for now, I just basked in the happiness that kiss gave me.
When I got back to the office my car was waiting around front. I climbed in, now soaking wet, and tossed my jacket onto the seat beside me. The driver had the car warm and ready for me. He pulled out without even asking about my soggy condition, and I pulled my phone out of my pocket to distract my mind and scroll.
I thought of Kate though, and Abby. I thought of what they'd think of me moving on. Kate and I never really discussed how I'd live my future in the event that she died prematurely. It wasn't even something we thought about. Nobody wants to plan their death and what it looks like for their loved ones when they're gone.
Now I was stuck in the reality that Kate wasn't ever coming back—something I'd come to terms with a long time ago, but I knew Abby was still struggling with it. I hadn't brought up the idea of me breaking back into the dating world because I hadn't thought I was ready. Now I felt like it might be time, and the thought of telling Abby made me feel hesitant. She was so sensitive to everything I did—like the other night when she got very upset about me heaping praise on Elizabeth's reputation.
I sighed and looked out the window at the cars we passed and decided until I knew whether I could even handle dating again I would say nothing. And I had a bit of thinking to do before I even went back to work. While Ms. Reid might have gotten me stirred up and open to the possibility that love might exist in this world for me again, dating an employee would be frowned on by the board and my shareholders. And risk-taking just wasn't my forte.
At home, I let myself in and left my sopping shoes by the door. I slogged past the dinner table to see a plate left for me, probably cold, and Abby's empty plate. There was a note from the maid that probably said she had to go home and hoped I enjoyed the meal. I couldn't sit there and eat it until I was comfortable though, so I passed by and headed toward my room for a shower.
Abby's door was cracked open, and I peeked in to see her draped across her bed with her laptop open in front of her and textbooks scattered around her. I smiled at how hard she was working and felt grateful for the amazing foundation for the love of learning that Kate established with our daughter.
"Hey," I said softly and she looked over her shoulder, but it wasn't a smile on her face. She was glowering and she sat up to face me. "Studying?"
Abby sighed and hung her legs off the side of the bed and shrugged one shoulder. "Yeah."
"Is everything okay?" I asked, aware that something was definitely not okay. I rarely had to talk with her about things that were disappointing or sad. Abby had an ever-optimistic personality and always looked at the bright side, though right after Kate's death she did struggle. And sometimes I wondered if she just pushed it away for me, to be strong so I could be strong.
"You were late—again. I was looking forward to having dinner with you. You've been working late a lot." She sounded hurt, and the way her forehead wrinkled and her lips curled downward at the corners made me feel guilty. I thought about my work schedule and knew it was true. I had been working later but things were picking up at the office and I was very busy.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I know. Things are just really busy right now and?—"
"And I wanted to tell you something I was excited about." She cut me off and crossed her arms over her chest. It wasn't just jealousy and missing me. She was disappointed, and it made me feel worse. I'd been banking on her being more and more independent and I'd forgotten that every child needs their father no matter what age.
"Would you like to tell me now?" I asked her, stepping into the room. I leaned against the door jamb and waited, and she sighed.
"Well, Elijah Sullivan asked me to go to the formal and I was so excited." A smile crept across her face as dread washed over me. Elijah Sullivan, son of celebrity Sebastian Sullivan, was probably not good news. Kids like that were used to getting anything they wanted and boys his age wanted only one thing. He needed to be put on a leash, not go on a date with my daughter.
"A Sullivan?" My temper flared but I tried to tamp it down. Internally, though, I was instantly ready to lock her in her room for the next six months and hide the key.
"Yeah, isn't it so amazing? He's like uber famous and he wants me to go with him. He could've asked Courtney Douglas or Vera Hopkins." She was positively beaming which only made me feel so torn. There was no way she was going to that dance, which only made me the bad guy. Kate would react differently, but Kate wasn't here. I had to protect our daughter from predators.
"I don't think it's a good idea." My firm statement instantly sucked the joy off her face and she scowled.
"Why not?"
"Because I just don't think it is. I don't want you going to a formal with that boy." My jaw clenched and I found my hands curling into fists, and Abby's eyes welled up with tears.
"Gosh, you're such a control freak. What's wrong with going to a dance with him? He's the first guy who's asked me out." Now she sounded whiney, and she knew that wasn't a way to get me to agree with her. It annoyed me. It was how she manipulated Kate into getting her way.
"Well, you'll have to pass on that. You're not going to a dance with Sebastian Sullivan's spoiled son. End of story." I shook my head and knew standing here in her room was just going to lead to more frustration, so I backed out and heard her scream-growl as she threw a pillow at me. It hit me on the back, but I ignored it and continued to my room.
My concerns and the decision I made were all completely justified. Protecting Abby was my top priority, and she was just too young to date a celebrity. She had no idea the things guys like him expected. Or maybe she did, and in that case, I was protecting her from herself too. Though, it did make me feel bad for disappointing her and breaking her heart. I heard her crying as I shut my bedroom door and wondered if I was too hard, if my gut reaction should've been calmer.
Abby needed a mother's touch when it came to matters of the heart. I just wasn't as nurturing as Kate was. I wished I had a woman in my life, anyone—even a friend—who could help me walk Abby through these challenging things in her final year of high school. College would be worse too; she'd be away from home and no one to discuss these things with but other girls her age who knew nothing about life.
I sat on the edge of the bathtub as I unbuttoned my shirt and peeled it off. The fabric clung to my flesh and I remembered that kiss. An image of Elizabeth smiling at me before turning to walk down the subway entrance stairs made me relax a little. It occurred to me again, that while it might not be kosher, I might have found a woman who could relate to my daughter and help her. Still, I didn't know how Abby would even respond. Just praising Elizabeth's work had set my daughter off.
And remembering that kiss set me off.
My dick started to swell as I touched my lips and remembered how soft hers were. The stress of the day, combined with my lack of physical intimacy with a woman for years hit me at that moment and I felt the urge to touch myself, and once that thought crossed my mind there was no putting the horse back in the barn.
I shucked my pants and my dick stood at attention. One simple kiss set my body on fire, and she wasn't even here. She was miles away somewhere on the other side of the city and I was standing in my bathroom drawing water for a shower with a cock so hard I could go for hours. It was painfully swollen, and my balls felt like they'd explode. I touched them gently and felt how tender they were. I beat off once or twice a week to keep them from hurting, but most of the time it wasn't due to arousal.
Tonight, however, I had my hand around my dick stroking before I even stepped into the shower. I stood under the flow of water and let it heat my skin as I closed my eyes and pictured Ms. Reid with her hand around my girth stroking. I imagined her supple skin against mine. Her breasts pressed to my chest as she moaned. My other hand moved to my balls and I squeezed gently as I pumped faster. The water was hot, and it did nothing to cool the fire in my veins. My cock leaked precum and I groaned low in my throat.
I could smell her scent, even though I didn't know what she smelled like. It was an amalgamation of my memories of women I'd known, and the soaps and lotions that coated my nostrils in the steamy bathroom. I pictured her naked in the shower with me, her plump ass pressing against my cock as she bent over. I slid my dick between her legs and her pussy gripped me like a vise. She was wet, so wet for me.
Then she was on her knees in my fantasy. Her full lips wrapped around the head of my cock while her tongue swirled around it. I groaned as I imagined her looking up at me, those big doe eyes begging me to take her. She wanted it, and I needed it. I could feel my balls tightening as I neared orgasm. I pumped a little faster, and I could feel the first tendrils of cum shooting out of my cock. I imagined it was on her face, across her cheeks and lips as she looked up at me.
"Ms. Reid," I moaned as I came, spurts of hot cum landing on the shower wall and floor, washed away by the steamy water. I gasped for air, hand still wrapped around my sensitive cock as my orgasm subsided. It took me a few minutes to catch my breath, and when I opened my eyes, I was alone in the shower.
I let the water rinse away the evidence of my fantasy externally, but internally her face lingered in my mind as I washed my hair and body. If I was going to continue working with her I'd have to set clear boundaries, and not because she was a problem in any way. She was a master at her job, and I needed her on my team; I just didn't know if I could work around her and keep control of myself.
I hadn't felt the need to have someone close to me like this in years. It was a great feeling, but one I had to control—because of the board, because of my future, and most importantly, because if I became infatuated with Elizabeth Reid, I'd miss out on things with Abby even more.