Chapter 26
VINCENT
Her eyes are stillred from crying. Her scent is muted and only slightly sweet, and it activates every Alpha instinct in me to protect her.
I want to take her home and place her in her nest.
The nest I helped make for her.
But she’s given so much of herself today. In a perfect world, I would pull John Briggs from his cell and kill him slowly. Her story ignited rage in me, and my inner Alpha howled in despair as she recalled her time spent in that hellhole.
She’s done so much. She’s been vulnerable, and laid her soul out in front of me, Landon, and River.
The least I can do is open up to her.
But it still fucking hurts. There’s a weight in my chest, and it takes me a moment before I can begin speaking.
“A few years ago,” I start, “I was still working at the Bureau with the others. I was mostly working missing persons cases, some worse than others. We saw some dark things—some awful crimes that no one should ever see.”
Skylar flinches and grips her coffee cup.
“We all knew what was expected of this job,” I continue. “It was normal to me by then. Landon and River would occasionally partner with me—and we worked a lot of cases. Our closed case rate was almost perfect. But there was one…” my voice trails off, and I clear my throat.
You sound weak. Keep it together.
But Skylar simply listens, empathy shining in her eyes.
I don’t deserve this strong woman in front of me, who fought back against hell and won.
The least I can do is get through this fucking story.
“There was a fifteen-year-old girl that went missing under bizarre circumstances. And the bastard that took her left clues, like it was a game. Left stupid puzzles for the police to do, and they couldn’t solve them. Finally, they handed the case over to us.”
I chuckle humorlessly.
“It was a crossword,” I growl. “The asshole made a crossword, purposely throwing us off with clues that didn’t have anything to do with her.”
“That’s horrifying,” Skylar whispers.
I meet her shining blue eyes. “It wasn’t the first time we had seen something like that,” I say. “All three of us spent days deciphering his sick games. And by the time we figured it out…”
I clear my throat again and will myself to finish the story.
Skylar deserves to know why I am the way I am.
“I found Lauren first,” I murmur, an image of hair wrapped around fallen leaves filling my mind. “River caught up with me minutes later. We were days too late.”
Skylar gasps.
“And these things happen,” I continue, drumming my fingers on the table. “I know they do. It’s part of my job. Terrible, horrific shit happens, and that’s just the way it is. But this one I couldn’t get out of my head. I saw her everywhere. I couldn’t sleep, and when I did—it would be the same thing over and over again. Me finding her, her body covered in mud and leaves.”
“I’m sorry,” Skylar whispers. “I can’t even imagine.”
I scowl. “But that’s the thing, Skylar. Landon and River were both devastated by it, too. It fucked them both up. But instead of staying at the Bureau, I quit. I left about two weeks after we found her body.”
I run a hand through my hair, wishing we were talking about anything else. “River hates me because I left. I was his mentor; I trained him. And when I told him I was quitting, he gave me a black eye. He said he had looked up to me, but now I was dead to him. He called me a coward, and a failure, and it made me hate him, too.” I clear my throat. “I didn’t train Landon, but I could see the disappointment in his eyes when I told him I was quitting. And then, we hadn’t talked until they reached out to me about helping you.”
Skylar’s scent sours as her lower lip trembles. “Now you know everything,” I murmur.
She shakes her head in disbelief. “Do you still have nightmares?” she asks softly.
“Sometimes,” I admit. “But they’re better when I’m near you, or around your scent.”
She grants me a half smile. “Thank you for telling me,” she says.
I shake my head. “You’re the strongest person I know,” I tell her honestly.
She scoffs and makes a face at me. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“You never gave up on April. And instead of wallowing in self-pity after what happened, like I did, you’re here now, having coffee with me. You’re surviving. You gave your statement to help others. It’s—admirable. And it’s easy to see why Landon and River fell so hard for you.”
Her face flushes, and I’m tempted to tell her the depth of my feelings as well.
But I can sense how exhausted she is, and I need to get her home.
“I need you to try with River,” she says softly. “I want to have you guys in the same room for once without it going up in flames. Please.”
I nod. “It’s done.”
The answering smile she gives me knocks the air from my lungs.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” I whisper. “Do you have any idea at all what you do to me?”
“I have some idea now,” she murmurs. “After last night.”
The memories from yesterday are fresh in my mind. I’m sure they’ll be permanently burned into my brain.
The way she took Landon’s cock in her mouth. The sounds she makes as she orgasms. Her scent that fills the room.
I smirk, and she chuckles. “I do have a question, though,” she says, looking around before she leans in closer at the table. “You didn’t touch me at all last night. Did you not want to?” There’s a note of insecurity in her tone, and I let out a low growl.
“It’s all I wanted,” I promise her. “All I wanted was to touch and taste you and get that pretty cunt under my fingers and mouth.”
Her eyes widen in surprise.
“Then why didn’t you?” she asks, her gaze darkening. Her scent grows from subtle to dangerously sweet, and my cock twitches in my pants.
I almost don’t want to tell her. But she deserves my honesty after everything.
“Because I wasn’t sure if you’d regret it later,” I say. “And it wasn’t just me and you. I wanted the first time I touched you to be when I had you alone. So, I could show you what I intend to do to you when we have unlimited time.”
Her face flushes. “I knew what I was doing, though,” she counters. “Even though I have suppressant withdrawal, everything I’ve chosen to do with you three has been of my own volition. I wouldn’t have regretted it. I wanted you there, in that room. I wanted more with you.”
A weight in my chest lifts. “I know that now,” I tell her. “But I wasn’t going to risk you wanting to take back what we did.”
She shifts in her seat and bites her lip. “I wouldn’t, Vincent,” she says softly. “I want you. I want you as part of my pack.”
My heart stutters in my chest, and I almost throw her over my shoulders and carry her out of the café.
“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” I say solemnly.
I’m still a mess. Guilt still consumes me every waking moment. I still see Lauren’s face at night and hear the sobs her mother made when we told her the news.
She raises an eyebrow. “Don’t I? After everything I’ve been through, I’m more than aware of what I want. And I want the three of you. I want you with me during my next Heat, and the ones after that.”
Maybe I’m hallucinating. I knew she was attracted to me, but I never thought she would ask for something so permanent.
I want to argue with her and tell her she could do so much better.
Hell, she could also do better than Landon or River, but here she is, wanting all of us.
“I’m too selfish to tell you no,” I admit.
Her lip quirks. “Good,” she says. “Because I’m learning to ask for what I want. And being told yes encourages me to keep doing it.”
I chuckle until it turns into a full out laugh. “Well, then I’ll be happy to tell you yes often.”
I haven’t smiled like this in a long time. I haven’t even bothered to feel anything in years.
And here this beautiful woman is, making me realize what I’ve missed.
But it’s time to go. The circles under her eyes are too dark, and I catch her stifling a yawn.
“Let me take you home. You need to rest.”
“I do,” she sighs. “But there’s one more thing I need to talk to you about.”
I nod.
“I want to do whatever I can to help find April,” she says, her eyes softening. “Beyond giving statements. Even if it’s just helping you organize notes, or maybe talking over different details. I have to do more. I can’t just be organizing cookie fundraisers. I want everyone in the state to know her name.”
I bite back the no that threatens to snap out of me.
“You’re still healing,” I say instead.
She scoffs and shakes her head. “That’s true, but I’m healthy enough to be given multiple orgasms every day,” she mutters.
I narrow my eyes. “You don’t have to feel guilty about that,” I snap. “It’s a part of the suppressant withdrawals.”
“You understand guilt more than anyone else,” she counters. “You understand what it’s like to have it eat you alive. I need to do more. I can’t just be being coddled and spoiled?—”
“It’s what you deserve,” I snarl. “You haven’t even been out of the hospital a week. Of course, you’re going to be taken care of.”
“But I can do more. I have to do more.” Her hands shake as she clutches her coffee cup, another sign of how badly she needs to rest.
“Do you understand the impact of what you did an hour ago? Do you have any idea how helpful that is? That every detail you gave Ben brings us closer to saving everyone, not just April? What more could you possibly do?”
“Everything,” she snaps. “I could do everything and anything to get her back.”
No. Absolutely not. You’re staying at home while we take care of everything, I want to say to her.
But we’re more alike than I thought. She’s stubborn and determined, but to her detriment.
It’s admirable, but infuriating.
“I won’t let you be put in harm’s way again,” I say simply. “You’ve been through enough.”
She shakes her head. “Maybe you could use me as bait, and then I could find out where?—”
“Over my dead fucking body,” I snarl, and her eyes widen.
Shit. I’m scaring her again.
Rein it in. Be honest with her.
“Listen to me,” I say lowly. “When I worked Lauren’s case, it was all I could think about. I didn’t think I was doing enough. It fucking destroyed me, Skylar. It fucking ruined me. I didn’t eat. I didn’t sleep. I stopped living. No matter what you do, it’ll feel like it won’t be enough. But using you as bait? Thinking you should go undercover? It’s never going to happen.”
Her scent sours, and it’s my fault.
“But,” I continue, “there are other ways that you can help April that won’t be harmful to you. Once you heal.” I emphasize the word, and she scowls. “I won’t let this destroy you, Skylar. Trust me when I say you’ve done more than enough.”
I can tell she doesn’t believe me, and it makes my fucking chest ache.
“I have to find her, Vincent,” she whispers. “Please don’t make me sit aside.”
But I can’t guarantee her anything. “I’m always going to choose your safety,” I tell her. “I can’t not.”
Her shoulders slump, and I feel like the biggest piece of shit on earth.
“I think I’m ready to go home,” she says.
She falls asleep in the car almost immediately. I can’t even apologize to her.