Chapter 27
SKYLAR
Vincent is right,even though I wish he wasn’t.
I’m in no shape to help them.
He gently shakes my shoulder to wake me up and leads me up the driveway.
I mumble a thanks, then head to my bedroom and collapse on my nest.
I’m asleep in seconds, but I’m thrust into a nightmare.
April lies on the musty,dirty mattress, her face white and her eyes sunken in. I sit in the corner of the room, my limbs frozen in place.
“You left me here,” she whispers. “You left me, and I’m all alone.”
“No,” I choke out, trying to reach her. But I can’t move at all. I can only watch in horror as she struggles to breathe, wheezing.
“They’re going to kill me, Skylar. They’re going to kill me, and it will be your fault.”
I squeeze my eyes shut. “No April, they’ll find you?—”
“You’re too busy spreading your legs for them.” Her voice comes out harsh and warped. “Too busy worrying about your Heat.”
“That’s not true,” I whisper. “I?—”
“You forgot all about her. And now it’s too late.” I open my eyes, and John’s face is inches from mine.
I wake up screaming.I twist out of the nesting blankets, falling flat on my face onto my bedroom carpet. I scramble up and run to the bathroom, where I hunch over the toilet and dry heave.
It was so real. John’s face was right there, his eyes staring into mine with a malicious glint.
April’s voice was in my head.
“Skylar?”
I shriek. A masculine voice fills the bathroom, and I grab the nearest item on the counter and fling it towards the owner of said voice.
River dodges a toothpaste tube, his green eyes devastated as he looks at me from the doorway. “It’s me. Skylar, it’s me.”
His hair is in disarray, and he’s panting heavily. “You were screaming,” he says. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“I…” I swallow, struggling to breathe. My hands shake, and a wave of nausea rolls through my stomach.
I can’t breathe.
“Move,” I whisper to River, who steps out of the way as I race out of the bathroom, through my bedroom, and down the hallway.
I know what these are. It’s not the first time I’ve had a panic attack, but this one is severe.
I still see John’s face in my mind.
River’s scent is behind me, delicious and welcoming, but I can’t turn back to face him.
“Do you want to be alone, or should I stay?” he asks me, his voice low.
I suck in a breath, then slowly turn around. He’s leaning against the wall, arms crossed, giving me a significant amount of space.
He didn’t crowd me. He didn’t try to touch me.
“Stay,” I whisper. “But I need air.”
He nods, then walks past me to open the front door.
“Do you want to take a walk?” he asks, his voice soft. “That’s what helps me when these happen.”
“Yes, please,” I choke out, wondering how often this has happened to him.
He shrugs off his leather jacket and helps me into it. It’s warm, and I inhale the spicy scent it surrounds me with as he shuts the front door behind us.
“Oh, I need to lock it—” I start, but he’s already putting a key into the lock.
Of course. They must all have house keys since they’ve been taking turns watching over me.
The thought soothes me a bit. It makes me feel safe.
But then the guilt hits me again, and I let out a shaky breath. “Shit,” I hiss, gritting my teeth.
“You’ve got this, baby,” River murmurs next to me. “Walk with me. It will help it pass.”
Keeping my arms crossed, curling in around myself, I take hesitant steps down my driveway with River.
He doesn’t say a word. We reach the sidewalk and walk side by side down the street in silence until my breathing calms.
The night air is chilly but refreshing. I slowly uncurl my arms from my sides and stand taller, forcing my body to release some tension.
“Your jacket doesn’t smell like smoke,” I say finally, as we head down another street.
He leans close enough to me that our shoulders touch. “One of the first things you did was call me out for smoking.” I can hear the smirk in his voice. “Wouldn’t want you to be angry with me, baby.”
I stop walking. “Wait. Have you really stopped smoking?”
He turns to me, and I take in his strong jawline, piercing eyes, and the lock of hair that has fallen into his eyes. “When you were missing,” he says darkly, “I made a promise to whatever or whoever was listening, that if you came back to me, I would make sure you never scented that shit on me again.”
My mouth falls open. “Are you serious?”
He shrugs. “I don’t plan to die anytime soon. Especially now that you’re here.”
My heart aches at his words. “You should do that for yourself, not me,” I whisper.
“Probably.” He gives me a crooked grin. “But I’m doing it for you, anyway.” His eyes fall on my lips. “C’mon. Let’s keep walking.” He reaches out his hand, and I take it, our fingers intertwining as we head down the street.
“How do you know how to handle these?” I ask.
He scoffs. “I’ve had them all my fucking life,” he mutters. “Since I was a kid. I was an…emotional child.”
“I never would have guessed,” I chuckle, and he squeezes my hand.
“But that’s what makes me a good detective. I can catch on to bullshit easily. Or recognize when someone is trying to hide their panic or fear. There are little tells that people have, especially when they’re frightened.”
“What are my tells? Besides the obvious ones today,” I add quickly.
“Your scent, for one. I’m more attuned to your scent than any other’s. And when you’re distressed, it’s like I’m experiencing your emotions, too. It’s as if I absorb your anger and fear and blend it with mine. And it’s all I can feel. It’s like a slow fucking poison. Like I’m slowly bleeding out when I can’t help you.”
He just described a mating bond.
I swallow nervously at his confession. “Oh,” is all I can say.
“But your other tells? You pick at your nails when you’re uncomfortable, your foot twitches when you’re lost in thought, and you hum to yourself when you’re nervous.”
I knew about the first two, but the last one catches me completely off guard.
“Excuse me? I hum?”
“You make a little noise in the back of your throat, almost as if you’re going to say something. But you don’t.”
I stare at him slack-jawed. “I have never done that.”
But he just grins wolfishly, white teeth gleaming in the moonlight. “I’m sorry if I’m good at my job, baby. And don’t worry, it’s adorable. I could study you all day.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m not that interesting.”
Suddenly, River stops and grips my chin to tilt my head up. “You are the most interesting fucking creature on this earth,” he says. “The way you eat, breathe, and fucking sleep is more interesting to me than anything else. And Skylar, it will never stop being that way for me.”
I blink at him, stunned.
“You’re not just some Omega I’m attracted to. You’re not just a girlfriend to me. You make my life better. You’re everything.”
I know I should be terrified by his confession. He’s too obsessive and intense.
But the lonely Omega in me is thrilled. The girl that always felt like a burden to her boyfriends, that always felt like she was asking for too much, is finally being given what she’s selfishly wanted.
And it’s by three Alphas, not one. I know that Landon and Vincent will balance him out.
His eyes search mine. “I’m sorry,” he says softly. “I can smell your panic. I can take you back, if you want.”
I shake my head and give him a small smile. “Not yet,” I counter. “Let’s keep walking.”
I don’t release his hand as we circle the block.
“How werethe panic attacks when I was gone?” I ask softly when we’re back inside my house. River flips on the light to the front room as I shrug off his jacket, and then he takes a seat on the couch.
“I’m not sure you want the answer to that,” he says.
“I do.” I sit next to him, and he looks at me solemnly.
“It was more chaos in my mind than usual,” he shrugs. “A lot more coffee and less sleep. The only time I could rest was when I was here.” He motions to the front room. “The best sleep I had in years was the first day I came to your house. Your scent kept me grounded enough to do my job.”
Tears fill my eyes. I’m overcome with emotion and an instinct to blurt the words that have been sitting on my tongue for days.
But the last time I said them first, it ended horribly.
I made a promise to myself that I would never be the one to say “I love you” first, as infantile as it sounds.
So, instead of confessing my feelings, I ask a question. “Do the others know?”
River scoffs. “Yeah. They both do. Landon caught on immediately, and Vincent…well, he fucking saw me have a breakdown, which turned into a panic attack.”
He focuses on my coffee table, not looking at me. “Walking has always helped me. So has working. If I’m idle for too long, things can get bad pretty quick.”
“I’m the same way,” I murmur. “I know I can’t go back to working at the café yet, but I’m dying to.”
His eyes flash to mine. “Which is why it was so hard for you that night, when we told you to stay home,” he says softly. “Fuck. I didn’t know at the time. I’m so fucking sorry, Skylar.”
I give him a sad smile. “There’s no need,” I murmur. “You’ve done more than enough.”
He shakes his head. “So fucking selfless,” he murmurs, then leans closer to me. He kisses me tenderly, his lips barely brushing mine.
I hum contently against his mouth. “I’m sorry I threw toothpaste at you,” I say as I pull away.
He grins. “It’s sexy when you get violent. Next time throw a knife at me.”
I burst out laughing but stop when a devastating cramp hits me. I double over on the couch and hiss as pain radiates in my womb.
“Fuck, Skylar, where are your meds?” he asks, as slick pours out of me and into my panties.
“Blue bottle,” I gasp. “It’s the anti-cramping medicine.”
River returns quickly with the pills and a glass of water. I drink them down, then roll onto my side and groan.
“Let’s get you in bed,” he says, scooping me into his arms. I whimper as he places me down on the mattress, helping to rearrange the nesting blankets so I’m covered and comfortable.
He sits at the edge of the mattress and strokes my hair as I look up at him. His pupils are almost black, and I can tell my scent is affecting him. “I hate watching you go through this,” he mutters. “Even hearing you today…it’s too fucking much. No one should have to experience what you’ve been through.”
“You mean being kidnapped and held prisoner for a month, or my body going through severe suppressant withdrawal and an inevitable wild Heat?”
He narrows his eyes. “All of it, smartass,” he says, and I stick my tongue out at him, even though the cramps continue to pummel me.
“Keep that thing in your mouth,” he warns. “Or I can’t be held responsible for my actions.”
It makes me laugh, and his gaze softens as he looks down at me. “There was something else that helped me through those attacks,” he admits. “That smile. The first time I saw you do it, it was like a punch in the gut. I memorized everything about you in that moment. And when the attacks would get bad…I’d go back to that first time you smiled.”
“Will you hold me?” I ask, doing my best to not burst into tears at his words.
River. My complicated, wild, sensitive Alpha.
“You never have to ask, baby,” he murmurs. “I’d do it every second if you’d let me.”
The bed dips with his weight and he pulls me to him, my back flush against his chest as his body curls around me.
His spicy scent mingles with mine, and I sigh in contentment. The cramps are still there, but not as painful as when I’m in River’s arms.
His purr resonates throughout his chest, and I start to doze.
I’m almost fully asleep when he speaks.
“Vincent talked to me today.”
My eye snap open. “About what?”
“About…you. How we navigate this.”
“And?” I ask, my heart beating wildly in my chest.
He sighs against me. “I still think he’s an old prick. I can’t stand him,” he mutters, and I tense. His arms squeeze around me. “But,” he counters, “I know how much he cares about you. And…if us fighting is going to hurt you, it stops now.”
I swallow. “He told me about what happened. The last case you worked on together.”
“I know.”
“Do you think one day you’ll be able to forgive him?” I ask quietly.
There’s a long pause behind me, and his purr stops. His scent darkens, the spice mixing with a bit of smoke. “Before I met you, I would have said no,” he says.
“And now?” I hold my breath.
“And now, I’m pretty sure anything is fucking possible.” He presses a kiss to my hair, and I exhale deeply.
“I don’t want to ask for a lot,” I mumble. “You’ve already done so much for me. I can’t ask you to change your feelings about someone.”
He chuckles. “True. But your helpful suggestions usually turn out to be beneficial.” Another gentle kiss to my hair, even though I can feel his erection pressing against me.
He brings his hand to my stomach. “Are the cramps still bad?” he whispers.
I wiggle against him, and he groans, the sound sending slick trickling out of me. “Not as much,” I admit. “The medicine is helping. Also, your scent doesn’t hurt.”
“It’s because my scent is the best. You can admit it. I won’t tell the others.”
I snort. “So modest.”
“You gave me a big head,” he purrs, pushing his cock against my ass. I hum in contentment, lazily grinding back against him.
He continues like that, gently thrusting against me with his erection until I whimper.
But I’m exhausted, and I don’t have to the energy to engage in anything else.
“I’m content like this,” he whispers in my ear. “I know how tired you are. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
I’m reminded of the other day when he went down on me until I passed out.
“You’re so selfless in the bedroom,” I murmur, rocking against him.
“Selfish everywhere else, though. But in bed, I’m happy to be your obedient servant.” His voice goes lower than I’ve ever heard it, and he presses harder against me.
Soon, I’m thrusting against him, half asleep as pleasure replaces the pain in my womb.
I allow his scent to envelop me until there’s nothing but River in my senses.
“My only goal,” he pants against my ear. “Is to hear those sexy little gasps you make right before you come.”
“Oh,” I choke out.
“Yes,” he hisses with a thrust of his hips. “Just like that. I just know that pretty pink little cunt is dripping for me.”
“River,” I whisper, my cunt fluttering. “I…”
I’m dangerously close to falling over the edge already, just from thrusting. I push back against him, my ass taking whatever friction he gives me.
“Fuck,” he hisses. “Fuck, baby.”
That I’m this sensitive and not even in Heat is an indication of how wild it will eventually be.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know I should be worried.
But right now…
“Alpha,” I gasp. “Alpha.”
River growls in my ear. “Good girl. Good Omega. You smell so sweet when you’re wet.”
“Get your scent on me,” I gasp. “Put it on me, and I’ll come.”
His growl turns into a snarl. “Fuck.” He pushes my hair to the side, and I feel his lips trail down my neck and to my mating gland.
The cry I let out is embarrassingly loud.
But his lips descend on my mating gland, licking, sucking, and nibbling until my vision whitens. He nuzzles the spot, merging our scents together until I’m bucking against him.
Then, I explode.
I tilt my head back and scream, my body spasming as slick pours out of me. River growls into my skin as he nips up my neck, his teeth sinking in just above my gland.
He mimics the mating bite, the sharp sting of his teeth making me gasp out my release.
“Alpha,” I gasp out. “River?—”
“Fuck, you’re so fucking perfect.” His breath hitches and his hips thrust forward. “So fucking good, what did I do to deserve you, fuck…”
His hips stutter as his own release hits him, sending me into another orgasm.
Without even a finger against my clit, he continues to send me over the edge.
Eventually, my vision returns to normal, and my breathing slows.
The cramps have disappeared.
River nips at my neck. “Holy shit,” he breathes. “We need to take walks more often.”
“Mmhmm,” I mumble.
I’m a mess, but I can’t bring myself to clean up. A wave of exhaustion hits me, and my eyes are closed when I feel the weight of the bed shift. I open them when River peels the blankets off of me and gently pulls my bottoms off.
“You don’t have to do that,” I murmur as he brings a washcloth to my sensitive core.
“Worshipping you is my kink,” he says, amused. “And it’s not very nice to kink shame, baby.”
I chuckle.
But before I can think of something clever to say, I drift to sleep as River cleans me up.