Chapter 36
THIRTY-SIX
“Actually, can you get Crystal?” Maverick asks as he closes the curtain. I watch his shadow slip down to the base of the tub.
I stick my head into the living room, where Emmanuel and Crystal are cuddled up on the couch, whispering to one another. They’re adorable, cuddled in each other’s arms, and I feel bad about interrupting them.
But when I tell her that Maverick asked for us, she untangles herself from Emmanuel and follows me into the bathroom.
“We’re here,” I call out, even though I’m sure he heard us come in. “What’s up, Mav?”
His sigh is loud enough that I hear it over the water. Crys moves and sits on the closed lid of the toilet. “You can tell us anything, Alpha,” she says quietly.
“I know, but I don’t know, you know?”
“That’s a lot of knows, but I’m going to throw in my own. No, I have no idea what you’re saying,” I joke.
“Look, this is all new, and none of us know what is going on, and we’re all learning things, right? And like there is no one way for a pack to be, and we’re all trying to figure it out while in the middle of an actual shit show. And now I’m going to add to the shit show, and honestly, I feel like an asshole for doing this because this so isn’t the time, and we have bigger fish to fry and mob bosses to evade, and our Omega is hurt, and so I don’t want to seem like I am downplaying that or even ignoring it but something came up, and I can’t keep things in, you know? It’s not something I do. I don’t keep secrets. My parents always said it’s okay to keep some secrets, but I don’t like to, okay?”
He sounds panicked, and I wish I could hold his hand or steady him on the shoulder or something. We sit in silence, and it stretches between us, but I know there is nothing I can say right now. I just have to wait until he gets this out.
When he finally speaks, it’s not what I expected.
“I think I have a crush on Gage.”
My heart kind of stutters in my chest, and Crystal gasps softly. I can’t bring myself to look at her. I don’t know what response I want from her, and I worry that seeing one on her face will make me crave the other.
“You think?” My voice sounds strangled.
“I mean, I know I do. I was saying that to give myself an out, and make it less intense or whatever, but I definitely do. But it’s weird because I’m not into guys. Well, I wasn’t, I guess. I’m definitely into you, which is wild. I’ve never been into a guy before, but you’re different, and I don’t know why. All I know is that when I see you with Crystal, I want to be a part of that. I want you to look at me like you look at her.”
The feeling that stirs within me is indescribable. It’s nothing I’ve ever felt before, and I’m unsure if I will ever feel it again.
I’m not into guys, either.
But I cannot deny that Maverick has made me feel… special. Comfortable.
I want to spend time with him and get to know him. I like being on the receiving end of his frenzied attention. And I thought that was just a packmate thing. But looking at it through an objective lens…
“I think maybe I have a crush on you, too?”
The water shuts off. The shower curtain rips open.
“What?”
I finally risk a look at Crystal, and I’m shocked to see pure warmth on her face. There’s no judgment, nor is there anger. She looks happy.
A wet hand grabs my arm. “What did you say?” I look up at Maverick’s eyes, shocked to find them glassy. “What did you just say, Gage?”
His chest stutters with hard breaths. I can see now how fearful he is of his feelings. Maybe he doesn’t believe himself, or perhaps he’s worried about judgment from us.
“You’re really brave,” I tell him. “Telling us. You didn’t know how we would take it, but you told us anyway. You put yourself out there.” His hand tightens on my arm, and I can tell he’s on edge, but I continue. “I’m not into men. But I think I’m into you. I thought this was a pack thing, but I don’t feel this way towards Emmanuel. It’s not how I feel for Crys, but it’s… something.”
He nods his head rapidly, looking between the two of us. “Right, it’s different. But it’s something.”
“It’s something,” I repeat.
Crystal stands up like she’s going to leave and give us privacy, and I grab her arm. “Crys, wait.”
“I’m not upset,” she says kindly. “Not at all. I think it’s beautiful that you two are discovering something about yourselves in each other.”
“It’s not that you’re not enough,” Maverick is quick to say.
She chuckles warmly. “I know that. It’s a different relationship. We’re all going to have unique relationships with each other, and that’s okay. I’ve even heard of packs that’re scent matched, and one of the Alphas isn’t sexually attracted to the Omega.” She leans her head on my shoulder, wrapping an arm around my waist. “Life is messy, guys. It’s okay if our pack is, too. I want you both to be able to learn and embrace the new part of yourself that is waking up.”
“You’re not jealous?” Maverick says softly. “You don’t think the attention should all be on you?”
“What, like all of mine will be on you?” She chuckles. “I’ve got three – I guess technically four – of you. It’s okay if sometimes you’re paying attention to one another.”
“I don’t think I want anything if you’re not there,” he adds in a rush. He looks at me apologetically. “At least not at first.”
It doesn’t hurt my feelings at all. I was thinking something similar. “I agree. I want you to be an integral part of this, Crys.”
“I already am,” she chuckles. “I brought you two together, didn’t I?”
But that’s not exactly true, is it? I gave him that tattoo on his chest. Our relationship started then, with me being a little starstruck over him. “You brought us back to one another,” I say softly.
We stand around awkwardly, Maverick naked and half behind a shower curtain, and Crystal and I in front of him in the humid room. “Where do we go from here?” he stage whispers.
“Well, wherever we go, maybe we get out of the bathroom?” our Omega says, grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the room.
* * *
“Hey, Hiccup,” Emmanuel says quietly from behind me.
“Come on, Manny, don’t,” I hiss. I don’t turn to look at him. Instead, I keep my eyes on Burger as he sniffs the patch of grass barely larger than a postage stamp behind Crystal’s townhome. “We’re never going to be able to be in a pack together if you insist on seeing me as a child.”
“It’s hard, Gage. I know it’s been years, but you’re ten years old in my head. You froze in time when that case worker came and took you away.”
The memory of that day makes my chest ache. I don’t like thinking about it. It feels like the day my life began and my innocence died.
I finally turn to look at the Alpha, taking in the tense way he’s standing with his hands in the pockets of his linen pants. His grey shirt hangs loosely on his trim frame.
Honestly, he doesn’t look much different from the way he did when I last saw him. Of course, there are more wrinkles at the corners of his eyes and mouth and grey on his temples, but other than that, he’s relatively unchanged.
“Have you heard from your brother recently?”
I snort derisively. “No, of course I haven’t. He wiped his fucking hands of me, Manny. I get that our mom was rough, and he got parentified or whatever, but that wasn’t my fault. I didn’t ask to be born. Why would he take it out on me?”
“I don’t think it was intentional.” His words are measured and careful. “I think he just wanted to get out. He wasn’t in any situation to raise a kid.”
“He could’ve tried.” I can hear how whiny and small my voice sounds, but I can’t stop it. “He didn’t even give me a chance.” As the words leave my mouth, my chest feels heavy. I don’t think I’ve ever taken the time to think about how abandoned I felt. Not all of the foster homes were bad, but they weren’t great. Bouncing around like that, with no stability, right after losing my mom and my brother walking away from me, left me all out of sorts.
My whole life changed with a fucking needle.
“You deserved a chance,” Emmanuel murmurs, pulling me into his arms and hugging me to his chest. “You did, Gage. And I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything about it. I have wondered what became of you for over a decade. It feels like fate that Crystal brought us together again.”
I sink into his familiar hold, letting the warmth of his embrace thaw some of the anger that encases my heart. “I’m glad she did. But I’m not happy that I’m gonna end up seeing your ass, man.”
He snorts and shoves me away gently. “You’re gonna have to get used to it quickly, Hiccup. As the Beta, you’re the one who’s going to have to pull us out of a rut and keep us all sane during her heats.”
“I feel like I’m getting the raw end of the deal here,” I complain insincerely.
“Oh yes, poor you. It will be so incredibly hard keeping her occupied when she can’t get a knot.”
I groan, throwing my head back. “I don’t want to think about your knot, dude.”
“I don’t think we’ll worry about it in the moment,” he says honestly. “All of our focus will be on our Omega and making sure she’s happy and taken care of.”
Our Omega.
Best rule I’ve ever broken.
Manny wraps his arm around my shoulder, turning me around and leading us back into the house with Burger hot on our heels.