26. Rafe
Chapter twenty-six
Jordy
But I'm at brunch with a friend. Maybe I'll call you later?
I can't stop staring at Jordan's message.
She'll call me later.
Who would have thought that a stupid joke would be the key to breaking down her barrier a little bit?
I don't know if I should tell the guys. If I do, I feel like they'll insist on being there during the call. But we all deserve to have our own unique relationships with her. And selfishly, I'm the only one who hasn't talked with her yet.
So I don't tell them.
I spend the rest of my Sunday staring at my phone, trying to get her name to pop up on it.
Snagging a book from my bedside table, I fall back into the story in an attempt to get my mind off of Jordan. It doesn't work, though. The female main character becomes Jordan, and I picture myself as the man trying to win her affection. I'm halfway through the book when my phone starts to buzz.
I nearly drop it excitedly when I see that it's not a phone call.
It's a video call.
A video call!
I look at my sloppy bed and stained grey v-neck and panic. I rip the shirt off over my head, sit up, prop a pillow behind me, and throw anything that would be in the video frame to the floor.
When the call cuts off.
I missed the fucking call.
I missed the fucking call.
Just like I did all those years ago when she tried to call me and I didn't answer our weekly call.
Before she can spiral, I call back, and she picks up immediately. I wasn't fast enough, though, because her eyes are shiny, and there is no smile on her beautiful face.
"I'm so sorry, Jordy, I was…" I almost told her a lie and said I was in the bathroom. But I don't want to start this off on a lie. "I was lying in my own filth and didn't want you to see it."
My words take her by surprise so much that she snorts out a laugh. Her red hair is piled high on top of her head, and she's got this fuzzy grey sweater hanging off one shoulder, showing off the bite that graces her gorgeous flesh.
Jealousy lights me up.
I want my bite in her skin. I want everyone to see my mark on her.
"I don't remember you being a slob, Rafe." She smiles, reclining back on what looks like a cloud.
"Oh, I just hid it from you very well. Can't have the girl you crush on thinking you're gross." Despite my olive skin, I can see the red flush overtake my cheeks with my declaration in the tiny rectangle that shows my video. As teens, our relationship never progressed past quiet crushes and cuddles. Jordan was the most vocal of us, stating she knew she was our Omega, but that didn't translate into much of a physical relationship.
"A crush on me? I had no idea!" She laughs at my expense, and it is the most beautiful sound I've ever heard.
"Where are you?" I ask, squinting to try to get a look at her background.
"Oh, my nest. Icarus is cooking dinner, and he likes to sing loudly while he does so, so I came in here for some quiet."
"Can I see it?" I ask quietly. I know how special and private a nest is to an Omega, and maybe I'm overstepping. But I want to see what she has put together. I want to know what kind of things make her feel safe.
"Oh, you want to?" When I nod, a smile lights up her face. "Okay, sure."
She turns the camera around and takes her time pointing out all the features, her favorite parts, and the things she's added since she presented. I'm not surprised she had a nest since before she presented. She had one even as a kid. It's why everyone was shocked when she never presented. All signs had pointed towards her being an Omega from the start.
When she sits back down and turns the camera back so I can see her, I quietly tell her, "Thank you for sharing your nest with me, Omega."
"You're welcome, Alpha." Her eyes widen, and her face flushes, my designation having slipped out unintentionally. But it still makes my heart soar. I push down my joy, though, not wanting to call attention to it.
"So is Icarus a good cook?"
I can tell she's grateful I am not bringing up what she said. The tension in her shoulders releases, and she clears her throat. "Yeah, pretty good. Neither of us is a chef or anything, but we eat well enough when we're tired of takeout."
Icarus is an interesting man, and I'm glad he's so careful and protective of Jordan. She deserves that. He must say something from the door of the nest because she turns her head to the side, listening to him. I notice how her collarbone juts out and how defined her jawline is. She looks much thinner than she was when we were teens, and her eyes are sunken and purple underneath.
"Do you need to go?" I ask her when she turns back to the phone. "It's okay if you do."
"No, I can stay for a bit. Unless you need to run?"
"Nothing could take me away right now." Silence descends between us, and I know there is so much I need to say to her. I just don't know where to start. "Jordy, I'm so-"
"Please don't ," she cuts me off. "I… I can do this, this casual, light conversation. I can't talk about that, Rafe."
"Okay then." I look around my room, trying to see if anything in this temporary living space can jog an idea. Nothing jumps out at me, so I say the first stupid thing that pops into my head. "Is your favorite color still maroon?"
She chuckles and grabs something out of frame. A maroon blanket ends up in front of the camera. "It is. You remembered?"
"Of course I did. Not many eight-year-old girls insist on maroon balloons for their birthday parties."
"Oh my gosh, I forgot about that. My parents were so annoyed with me. But you gave me that teddy bear with the maroon bow."
"You still have him?" I ask hopefully.
She shakes her head, eyes darting side to side. "I threw it away after… everything." I don't want to ruin this call by bringing up those memories, so I suck on my teeth, trying to think of something that feels safe to talk about. Before I get the chance, she says, "I need to run, Rafe. Thanks for chatting."
"Anytime. Thanks for calling, Jordy." I don't want to be the one to end the call. I don't think she does, either, because we silently stare at each other for a bit. Eventually, I say quietly, "You smell like mangos with lime."
"I was buying some mangos that day."
And then the call ends.
"This is a strange basket, sir," the man at the florist shop says. "I don't know if we've ever had someone bring their own fruit before."
I roll my eyes, pushing the bag across the counter to him. "I understand, but this is what I want. Is that going to be a problem? Do I need to go elsewhere?"
"No problem, Mr. Stargazer. I was just a little surprised. And curious." The man is older, probably in his early fifties, with dark hair and eyes. He's short, with a round nose and reddened cheeks. "It's not every day someone tries to put mangos in a gift basket. Typically, it's chocolate-covered strawberries."
I pull two mangos, a lime, and a mango knife from the bag. "She doesn't smell like chocolate-covered strawberries. Why would I send those?"
Realization lights up the man's face, and he smiles broadly. "Ah, a courting gift for your Omega. That makes more sense." He grabs a white wicker basket and fills one half with floral foam and the other with these tiny, squiggly cut pieces of paper. Flitting around the shop, he begins to collect flowers, but I stop him before he gets too carried away.
"Peach, burgundy, and greenery, please. Oh, do you have any wisteria? And stargazer lilies?"
He chuckles. "None of this goes together, you know that, right?"
"Right, but that's not what's important here. Please." Desperation laces my tone. I have to get this right. I want, no need, for her to know how much I'm thinking about her. I'm not sure if I can make a gift basket that says, 'Please forgive me, I was a fucking moron, but I always loved you, and now that I know you're mine, I feel like I'm going to die if I'm not by your side,' but I'm going to try.
It does seem like a lot of pressure to put on a gift basket.
The man works carefully, doing his best to make my floral choices look deliberate. In the end, it's surprisingly lovely, with mostly burgundy flowers and greenery accented with light purple wisteria and peach roses and a single massive stargazer lily in the middle. He arranges them in the foam within the basket and then gathers the mangos, limes, and knife and places them in the front.
"This look right?" he asks, spinning the basket to face me.
And it looks beautiful, exactly what I wanted, but something is missing.
I click my tongue, my eyes darting around the shop as I try to think about what I've left out. My eyes land on a white teddy bear with a maroon bow around his neck. It's large, easily the length of my forearm, and I don't know if it will fit in the basket, but I have to have it.
The florist follows my line of sight and chuckles. "That one, huh?"
"Yeah, that's the one."
After half an hour and a credit card swipe, I leave the shop feeling like maybe, just maybe, I can put a smile on her face. I stop at a cafe to grab a latte, and my phone goes off several times in a row.
Cyrus
I was thinking of inviting Jordan and Icarus for dinner
Slime
Not just Jordan?
Cyrus
No, he's pack. She's never going to seriously consider us if we cut him out of things.
Good call. I do think we should try to all get to know him without her.
I'm glad that Cyrus is finally making the effort with Jordan. His original attitude that she was going to fall down for us went away quickly once he realized the shit she went through. I won't tell him this, but I think getting dressed down by her at her office was the best thing that could've happened to the Alpha. He needed to see and hear firsthand how our decisions affected her.
I wonder if she'll ever trust us with the full truth. There are definitely things she's hiding from us. And maybe even from Icarus. But I want to know her secrets. I want to know those things that she's afraid make her unlovable, just so I can prove to her that that should never be a worry.
Cyrus
I have his number. We can do a pack outing or something.
Slime
Pack Party ayeeeee
Oh god
Slime you can't still be obsessed with Mario party
Slime
You're just still mad I stole your star and you had to take that suicide shot
You put sardine oil in it!
I doubt I will ever forget that night. We were fresh out of high school and had just moved to Lunarcrest City, and I thought it would be a good idea to place a wager on our game, forgetting Simon was hardcore when it came to Mario. Just the memory of that shot makes my stomach turn, and I have to put my latte down until it settles.
Cyrus
Children.
Slime
Yes, dad?
I thought it was daddy that he liked?
Cyrus
Assholes!
Shut the fuck up
I'm inviting Jordan and Icarus over for dinner on Wednesday. We'll do a pack party night on Friday.
Who's cooking?
I cannot cook—not at all, not to save my life. Cyrus is okay if he's grilling something, but Slime … is terrifying. It's not just that he cannot cook. It's that he actively destroys the kitchen and his food may or may not give you food poisoning. My food is gross. His food is dangerous.
Slime
I can pick up something from Bea's Kitchen. I know the owners and their shit is good.
Cyrus
Perfect. Best behavior, Simon.
Slime
You're the one that needs that reminder, Alphahole.
Sometimes, it feels like I'm living with children. Slime and Cyrus have always butted heads, their personalities so different that they view the world in such fundamentally opposite ways it's hard to believe that they were ever meant to be in the same pack.
But then Slime left us, left me, and the hole he left was more noticeable than I could have imagined. Slime keeps us young, his goofy attitude lifting Cyrus out of the anxiety spirals he is prone to.
He brought out a side of me I didn't know existed, and I was, am, better for it. It's one of the things I've missed most about being with him.
I decide to throw the two of them a bone, hoping to stop the argument before it begins.
I sent her a gift basket
Mainly from me but I put peach flowers and wisteria in there for you two
Slime
She did not react well to my gifts
just fyi
Yeah, because you sent them like a creepy stalker
Cyrus
You guys have given her gifts?
Slime
I set her some milkshake glasses and straws and a necklace with an Omega moon charm
Cyrus
But I'm the one who told her about the Omega moon!
Slime
We were all there that night, dude. You don't own the moon.
I have no doubt Cyrus is now going to search for a gift to give her, trying to find the right thing to express how much he cares about her and has missed her.
I just hope he doesn't go too overboard.