Chapter 18
Colt and I knew exactly what was going on.
Ignoring our omega’s pleasure and desire in the bond was as necessary as it was difficult.
Maisie hadn’t asked for us. I wasn’t surprised in the least that Carter had been able to reach her.
Omegas had a way of soothing each other, and Maisie certainly needed soothing.
She had history with him, too. Letting herself love him was a huge step in her healing.
I focused on Bryan. He responded the way I did to ceremonies, finding peace in the connection and ritual of it.
Today was more for quiet reflection than active release, but I liked being able to provide him a structured space to process.
He had his own healing to do before he was ready to open himself to our pack.
By the time the herbs I had chosen had smoldered to ash, the tension in Bryan’s body had melted away. I chanced taking his hand again. He gripped mine with a grateful squeeze.
“Thank you,” he said quietly. “I feel a little lighter.”
“Good. We all carry around what doesn’t serve us, and it’s nice to be able to let pieces of it go, even if we’re not ready to let go of everything yet. When you do feel ready, we can do another.”
“I have letters. Ones that I wrote, but never sent. They’re probably pure nonsense, and were just a way to get my feelings out. I think next time, I’d like to burn those. Not yet, though. I still reread them, trying to figure things out.”
“Whenever you need. That time will come with patience and purpose.”
“It feels like I’m taking forever”—Bryan closed his eyes, holding tighter to my hand—“but I swear I’m trying.”
“We know.” Colt moved from his chair to sit next to us on the log bench. “And we see it. You barely came out of the guesthouse the first month you were here. Just because it’s slow doesn’t mean it’s not happening.”
“But I feel like I should be better already.” Bryan chewed his lip, his fingers twitching in mine.
I smiled at him, sympathy at the forefront. “I’m saying this with love, but shockingly enough, hiding away and not facing the problems head on isn’t going to solve them.”
He barked a laugh. “Okay, fair. I did do quite a lot of moping when I got here, which wasn’t very helpful. Stewing in my guilt feels like valid penance.”
“But, who is that penance helping?” I asked, tilting my head. “Because it’s not undoing the past. It doesn’t benefit Riley, or you, or any of us. I’m not saying you should never feel guilty, but isolating yourself does nothing for anyone.”
“What am I supposed to do, though? How do I make up for everything?”
Colt brought one of his knees up, resting his chin on it.
“Who says you have to? Riley’s happy. You weren’t the one who stopped her from coming back, and you helped her as much as you were capable of at the time.
If anyone should be making up for something it’s the rest of your former trash pack.
I’d bet you twenty bucks none of them have asked the same questions. ”
“You’re probably right,” Bryan conceded. “Bruce wasn’t much for self reflection. I didn’t know Oskar or Karl very well, but they reminded me a lot of him.”
Carter was a fountain of affection in the bond, but I centered myself on the man in front of me.
Bryan was reaching across what he believed to be a chasm.
The thing was, the only one holding his past against him was himself.
Our connection to Riley was through Carter since his brother was bonded to her, so we didn’t know her very well, though we understood the situation on all sides was complicated.
“How did the scent match work for you guys?” Bryan asked, staring off into the dark sky.
“In what sense?”
“When did you find out? Were you already together?”
“I met Carter because of the scent match,” I explained. “It was at the university campus, I think a year after he started there. He got caught in a spring rainstorm, tumbled into the library when I was working on a research project. His scent hit me like a truck and I never looked back.”
“Not much different for me,” Colt added. “He came home for the summer and I was knee-deep in a landscaping project his parents had hired my company for. Carter walked out like he was the embodiment of sunshine and that was all it took.”
“I—” Bryan began and broke off. “He’s…”
“Your scent match, too?” I finished for him. Bryan seemed shocked that we had pieced that much together. “Carter told us. He knew the moment you guys met.”
Bryan swallowed hard, extracting his hand from mine and lacing his fingers tightly together. “I don’t know what to do about it.”
“What do you mean? You don’t want him?”
“It’s—” Bryan shivered. “It’s not that. You all saved me, and I guess I feel like I don’t deserve any of it. If I still had my fortune, my connections, maybe I would feel differently, but it’s just…me. It’s so little to offer someone.”
My chest tightened. What an awful way to feel about yourself.
“I promise you, Carter doesn’t give a shit about that.” Colt swung his arm over Bryan’s shoulders. “He doesn’t need your connections or your money. He has plenty of both through his family. Do you think we should’ve not been with him because we’re not rich or connected?”
“God, no,” Bryan quickly defended. “You two are wonderful people, quite honestly. That only makes me feel worse, though, because I know that I’m not.”
Colt gave a low growl. “I’m not going to argue with you because I know that lie is probably buried deep, but maybe give yourself some grace.
People fuck up. It’s just what we do as a species.
What you do after is what’s important. You grow, you heal, you figure out what the fucked up things are, and you don’t repeat them. ”
Bryan shivered again. This time it was probably from the cold since an icy breeze whipped over us.
“We should all get inside. Do you want to come stay in the nest with us?”
“I couldn’t. Not without an invitation.”
“Does that mean you would if Carter asked you?” Colt asked.
“I suppose I would consider it. Thank you both for tonight. I’ll be over in the morning to make breakfast. Good night.”
We let him go, waiting until he was tucked into the guesthouse before we went back inside ourselves.
The nest was a warm welcome after we showered and climbed into the blankets, wrapped around each other.
Morning dawned bright and crisp. Loath as I was to leave the warmth and start the day, the horses would be needing their breakfast. I went down to the second level, intending to ask Maisie if she was okay with us getting the kids ready so she could sleep.
The hallway was silent when I arrived, Carter’s sweet peach lingering in the air.
Another scent, light and weaving through it, stopped me in my tracks.
Peach blossom.
That definitely didn’t belong to Carter.
My feet stepped toward the door without my needing to guide them, my whole body magnetized.
I knocked lightly and peeked inside, finding Carter and Maisie both buried beneath a pile of blankets.
The scent was ten times stronger in the room and it sank straight into my bones, exactly as Carter’s had done the first time I’d scented him.
Maisie was a scent match.
It was a beautiful complication, but an assurance that fate had brought her to us. We could protect her, build the life she deserved.
I got to my knees next to the bed, forcing my thoughts to wade through the fog of the two of them.
Neither was visible beyond the very top of their heads.
I played with Carter’s hair until he woke enough to peek out at me.
His movement had Maisie stirring and she lifted shy brown eyes over the edge of the blankets.
“Don’t get up. I just wanted to get your permission to get the kids ready for the day. I didn’t want you to wake up and find them gone.”
“I can get up.”
“Only if you want to, and not because you feel obligated. Colt and I are happy to take care of them this morning. You should rest. Stay here as long as you want.”
I watched the indecision play over her features before she eventually nodded. “You’re sure you don’t mind?”
“Not at all.”
“Thank you. I can’t remember the last time I slept in. Oh, I should at least get up and change Nora’s diaper and get her dressed.”
“If that would make you more comfortable, by all means, but it wouldn’t be the first diaper either of us have changed in our families. Do it if you’d feel better handling it yourself, but not because you think we’re not willing to.”
“I—I guess I didn’t really consider that you’d be okay with it. Paul didn’t change a single diaper for any of the kids.”
“Paul’s also a cunt. I have no problem changing diapers, and honestly, it’s literally nothing next to shoveling out horse stalls, so it’s totally up to you and whether or not you’re comfortable letting me do it.”
“If you’re really sure you don’t mind, then I guess it’s okay for today, but I promise I won’t make a habit of skipping my chores.”
Carter nuzzled her, Maisie’s eyes closing, her quiet, happy purr breaking the silence.
Before I left, Carter tipped his head back so I could kiss him good morning.
Her eyes popped open again, and Maisie almost looked like she wanted to ask for the same thing.
I didn’t aim for her lips, but I did press a kiss to her hair.
“We’ve got it all covered. Stay warm. Go back to sleep. We’ll see you later.”
While the two of them burrowed back under the blankets, I went across the hall. The jingle of his door opening had Cody sitting up, rubbing his eyes.
“Good morning.” I patted Whiskey’s head. “Your mama is going to sleep in today, so you get to hang out with us this morning. Do you need any help with getting ready for the day?”
Cody shook his head.
“It’s cold this morning, so pick out something warm to wear, then you can brush your teeth and comb your hair.”
I left him to do that and went to check on Paisley.
Tango had worked his way up the bed, lying next to her, Paisley’s arm sprawled over top with her face buried in Tango’s neck.
I debated whether or not I should snap a photo for Maisie, but erred on the side of caution.
Better to get her permission for that, too.
Petting Tango had the cascade effect of waking the dog, who woke the girl.
“Good morning, Princess Paisley. Are you ready to wash up and go visit the horses?”
Her little eyes widened. “Are we going to get the pony breakfast?”
“Indeed we are. Should we pick out a cozy outfit together?”
Paisley climbed out of bed with Tango on her heels, and I opened each of her dresser drawers, letting her choose what she wanted for the day.
It didn’t match at all, but it would keep her warm.
I closed her door behind me so she could change and found Colt already waking up Nora.
Foxtrot was sprawled on the rug next to her crib, tail lazily wagging.
He caught my eye in a very distinct we need to talk way.
Colt hoisted Nora up, the sleepy toddler clinging to him. “Good morning, little one. You look like you had a very deep sleep.”
Nora’s hair was in every direction.
It was the first morning we were in charge of the kids, and, if all went smoothly, hopefully it wouldn’t be the last.