Chapter Twenty-eight
“I’m so over this week.”
Koda snorts as he sets aside the magazine he was reading—something to do with tattooing that he’d begged Bree to get for him since he can’t get online to read it. “It wasn’t that bad. Or at least not the dates I went on with you. If you’d just let me come to the date on Monday, maybe it wouldn’t have gone as bad.”
Rolling over to look at him with raised eyebrows, I scoff. “What the hell dates were you on? Because clearly you weren’t on the same ones as I was.”
“Sure, Nash and Skylar got into a screaming match at the bowling alley, and Malachi and Cora might have almost been arrested for indecent exposure, but up until then, we were all having fun, weren’t we?” Koda wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his chest.
Laughing, I shake my head. “Yes, until the police showed up, we were having a great time with Malachi and Cora. It probably would’ve been better if you weren’t on that date, though, since you were the one egging them on to streak down the street.”
“You might be right about that.” Koda tries to bite back his laughter, but his body shakes with it. “And the dates with Bradley and Dustin weren’t that bad. There was no drama.”
“Of course, there wasn’t any drama because we were all bored out of our minds. I have nothing in common with either of them. Hell, Tessa and Ana have more in common with each other than I have with either of those betas.” I sit up, scooting down to the end of the bed. I don’t know that talking about the disastrous week I’ve had will help at all. Right now, all I can think about is how I seem to be screwing everything up.
After all, I’m the common denominator being the only person on all the dates that have fallen apart. Not that Monday’s date with Ana, Paisley, and Tessa is my fault. That honor goes completely to Ana. She’s so good at wearing her mask that I have no idea what’s going on inside her head, but it’s clear that she has some issues that she needs to deal with. If only she’d chosen to speak with Finn after I mentioned it, I think I could deal with that disaster, but she hasn’t.
In fact, she hasn’t spoken to anyone that isn’t part of her pack since that night. She’s made sure to join us when we all get together as a group for meals and things, but she sits there quietly, never saying a word. I don’t know what the hell to do with that or her. Or her pack.
Paisley and I have grown closer and before our date, I talked to Koda about what it might look like to have a pack with three omegas. I would never choose them all just for Paisley, but at this point, I don’t know that I want any of them. I think Paisley and I will be better off as friends. Nash is so quiet that I feel like I haven’t even had a chance to get to know him. Malachi is infuriating with the way he seems to want to cause trouble wherever he goes—not that I think it’s done with malice, but damn.
“What are you thinking about?”
Glancing up at Koda, I sigh. “Pack Reyes.”
He hums. “Anything I can help with?”
“More than the conversation we had last night?” I shake my head. “No. I wish you could, but at this point, it’s on me.”
“I think it’s the right decision, if that makes you feel better. Not that I wouldn’t support you regardless, but I think this is how it needs to go.”
Shooting him a soft smile, I start toward the closet. I promised the suitors we would have breakfast this morning before Koda and I head for a session with Finn. I’ve pretty much decided how tonight is going to go and Koda agrees, but I feel like talking it out with Finn will help settle the nerves I can’t seem to shake. Plus, he’s been bothering me about not coming to see him often enough. This seems like as good of a time as any.
“Thanks, Koda. Having you here with me does make all of this easier.”
I don’t bother showering as I know I’ll want to do that before getting ready tonight. I don’t even feel like getting done up or care what I’m wearing, which is worrisome. I always care about what I wear and how I look. I have a brand to protect, after all. But today, I just want to pull on my softest clothes and drag Koda into our nest. Since that isn’t really an option, I still reach for my softest clothes—a pair of black lounge pants and a baby blue hoodie that’s too big to be mine. I giggle as I pull it on, realizing it’s Koda’s.
I hope he doesn’t mind me stealing some of his clothes from time to time—though, technically, all the clothes he has now are mine since I designed them and provided them to Bree, but that’s neither here nor there.
“I like you in my clothes, babe,” Koda practically purrs as he stalks over to me. “But it does make me want to take them off of you and fuck you into a coma.”
I flutter my eyelashes at him as I grin. “You say the sweetest things, Koda.”
We’re both laughing when our lips meet. Before he can deepen the kiss, I pull away and swat at him. “Get dressed. I promised the suitors we’d join them for breakfast this morning.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He shoots me a mock salute before rummaging around and pulling out a pair of distressed jeans and a graphic tee.
I can’t help watching as he dresses, loving it almost as much as watching him undress. Who am I kidding? There’s no way I love it nearly as much as watching him undress, but he’s sexy as hell clothed or unclothed.
“You better stop looking at me like you want to eat me if you want to make it to breakfast on time,” he warns, hunger in his eyes as he spins toward me.
I squeal as he moves toward me, racing over to the bedroom door and throwing it open. He catches up just as I turn the knob for the door leading out of the suite. His hand closes over mine as he presses against my back, his cock hard and ready as always. He runs his nose along my neck before letting out a happy sigh.
“They better have left a chair next to you empty or I’m going to throw hands,” he says as he releases me. “I’m tired of not getting to sit next to you.”
“You act like you don’t spend all of your time with me.” I shake my head, leading us into the hallway and toward the dining room. “Of everyone here, you get the most time with me. Of course, they want to sit beside me at meals.”
He rolls his eyes. “But you’re mine, and I want to sit next to you.”
“Then I guess you better throw some hands and show them just how dominant you are.”
He snickers. “Why do I imagine that turning into an orgy really quickly?”
I snort, but he’s not wrong. It probably would. I don’t know if any of the others are having sex outside of the packs, but it seems unlikely, so they’re most likely all very horny. Especially since neither Koda nor I wear scent cancelers while we’re at the compound. It’s not really safe to leave without using them, but I want to get used to everyone’s scents. While their scents aren’t going to be a deciding factor in who I choose for my pack, they definitely play a role.
“There they are,” Jagger hollers as soon as the two of us step into the dining room. “We thought the two of you forgot about us again.”
“We could never forget about you,” Koda fires back with a wink. “We just get easily distracted.”
I slap his stomach, shaking my head. As if they don’t all know exactly what he’s implying. We are easily distracted when we’re in one another’s company, though.
“I promised you I’d be here for breakfast, and here I am. I’m just a little slow moving in the morning. Sue me.”
“We would never,” Ronan assures me with a wink from where he stands behind my chair.
I hum as I sit, laughing when Jagger holds Koda’s chair out for him—the seat next to mine, so he can’t complain about it—before both alphas return to their seats.
“I’ll make your plate for you, Evangeline. Just tell me what you’d like,” Tessa offers with a smile, and I nod, allowing Koda to grab my plate and pass it down to her.
“I’ll take a little bit of everything. I’m hungry this morning.”
Ronan snickers. “Did you and Koda build up an appetite between last night and this morning?”
Glaring at him, I shake my head. “Not that it’s any of your business, but yes.”
That pulls laughter from those seated closest to us, and I take a moment to really look at all the suitors. Pack Reyes is once again at the far end of the table, all quietly eating. Usually, Malachi and Paisley would be trying to talk to whoever is sitting closest to them, but they’re not today. Ana and Nash haven’t really gotten to know me or any of the other suitors overly well, so they usually eat silently, but it’s weird to see the entire pack silent like this.
Though there are a few seats between them, Cora and Skylar are the next two sitting closest to them, and they’re also quiet. Across from them, Bradley and Dustin are chatting, but mostly seem focused on their food.
Meanwhile, at our end of the table, everyone is joking and chatting with one another. Koda sits on my right next to Jagger. Tessa is on his other side with Gavin between her and Evander. On the opposite side, Ronan sits on my left with Natalie on his other side. Conrad, Lillian, and Alejandro finishing out that side. Conrad might not talk much, but he’s grinning at whatever Lillian and Natalie are saying to him.
I watch as Gavin and Evander attempt to pull the two beta men into conversation, but they both just look uncomfortable. The same seems to be happening with Alejandro as he tries to talk to Cora and Skylar. He’s able to engage Cora for a moment until she glances at her silent lover, and she falls silent once more.
Why is it that half the suitors seem to get along great, while the others don’t? Are they not putting in the effort? Are they uncomfortable?
“Here you go, babe.” Koda’s voice has me focusing on him and the plate he places in front of me.
“Thank you for making my plate, Tessa. This looks amazing.” Keeping my head down, I practically inhale my food. As much as I’d love to join the conversations around me, I really am starving.
It’s more than that, though. I don’t feel like I should be allowed to be a part of the easy comradery at this end of the table when the other eight suitors seem miserable. Did I do something? Should I have done something I didn’t? Is it my fault they don’t want to interact with anyone? What can I do to fix it?
“Are you okay, Evangeline?”
I glance up, meeting Jagger’s eyes, and it takes me a moment to realize what he asked me. “Oh, uh… Yes?”
He chuckles. “You don’t sound so sure. What’s wrong?”
My eyes dart to the other end of the table without meaning for them to, before focusing on him once more. “Nothing. I’m fine.”
“Yeah, I don’t buy that for a second. Is there anything I can do to help?” He glances at the other end of the table, shaking his head. “Maybe even just listen to you if you need someone to talk to?”
I clear my throat. “Koda and I have a meeting with Finn once we’re done with breakfast, but thank you.”
“The offer is always there. I can only imagine how much pressure you’re feeling. I might not understand since I’m not going through it, but I’m always willing to listen.” He pauses, glancing across the table. “If you want someone to just talk at, though, you might want to choose Conrad since he never talks.”
Conrad’s head snaps to us at hearing his name. “What am I being volunteered for?”
“To listen to Evangeline if she ever wants to talk and not have someone talk back,” Koda says with a laugh. “Jagger seems to think that’s right up your alley.”
Conrad shrugs as he smiles. “He’s not wrong.”
“Yeah, I think I’m alright. I have Finn and Koda to talk to, but I appreciate the offer—of yourself and Conrad.” I roll my eyes at Jagger. “Maybe don’t offer up others for jobs they might not want.”
He huffs. “Conrad doesn’t care, do you?” At the other man’s shake of his head, he smirks. “See? Any of us would kill to spend more time with you. You’re probably the only one who doesn’t realize that.”
Glancing around the table, I see heads nodding—even some from the quiet end of the table.
I mean, obviously, they want to spend time with me. They’re all here to see if they can be part of my pack, but I guess I never really thought about it like that. But it’s also clear to me who’s really trying for this and who isn’t. We’re at the end of the fourth week and it’s time for me to start making hard decisions. There’s no way I can choose all eighteen of these suitors to be part of my pack, and I don’t want to.
That means I’m going to have to start letting some of them go. Let’s just hope I don’t make a mistake by letting any of them go too soon.
And with that thought, my stomach turns, and I’m no longer hungry. I push away my plate and turn to Koda. “Are you done?”
He looks up at me before glancing back at his mostly empty plate. He lifts the fork to his lips once more before shrugging. “Yeah, I’m good. Are you ready to meet with Finn?”
“Yup. I think I need to.” Standing, I take in each of the suitors spread out before me. Some of them will be going home tonight. “Thanks for joining me for breakfast. I guess I’ll see all of you at the rose ceremony.”
Some of them call out goodbyes as the two of us head for the basement hand in hand. I might be worried about making a mistake in who I send home, but I know it’s time. I can’t keep giving chances to anyone who doesn’t seem to want to be here. It’s not fair to me or the other suitors.
It’s just hard.
Here’s hoping that between Finn and Koda, they can make me feel like the decisions I’m making are for the best.