Chapter 19
Chapter
Nineteen
SIMONA
R ye’s scent is medicinal as it fills my lungs, dulling the shock reverberating through my memories. It feels so right, being in his arms as each of his hits, and his viciousness savage me. I can’t afford the luxury of forgetting what he did, remembering only reinforces that I survived.
I stay curled against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, as I work through the maze in my thoughts.
Rye interrupts me with his melodic voice that is as healing as his scent and his touch. “Earlier, you apologised. Why?”
“I knew who you were,” I admit carefully. “I should have left, maybe none of this would have happened.”
He doesn’t rush his response. Instead he takes his time. Lowering his head to mine, he rests it gently against me. Our hair falls together, a soft curtain that hides us away from the world.
“I told you I would find you. And now I have. I’m sorry he hurt you. ”
I shake my head, not wanting Brody to steal this from me. Talking about him is inevitable but right now, I just want it to be about us. I need it to be just us.
My chest tightens as hope sizzles through my veins. But before I get swept up in the rush of finally meeting him, I need clarity—does he know who I really am?
“Who am I?”
I hear him smile, and his arms tighten around me, his voice low and private, leisurely almost. “You’re my Sin.”
The draw of my inhale is proof of the accuracy of his statement. I wait for him to say more in case I’ve got him completely wrong. He must sense a shift in my mood, because his words start to tumble out, one over the other. “From those few short minutes when we met on New Year’s Eve, I knew you were mine. And it’s so weird, but it makes sense now. My memory of your scent wasn’t wrong, but it wasn’t right either.”
I squeeze my eyes shut. “Because of Melanie.”
“Huh?”
“A lady I met. We had to swap costumes last minute. Her scent was really overpowering.”
“Wow. That explains it. Because without exaggeration, meeting you felt like an awakening. Like something inside me woke after being asleep for a long, long time. Since our first meeting, whatever it is hasn’t rested, constantly searching for more and trying to figure out something I was missing. It’s hard to say how I knew so quickly that you were responsible for that, it might have been from the instant you captivated me with your eyes. For the record, I saw a universe of possibilities in them, everything though targeted towards a happy ending, no matter the start. The next indicator I’d found my match was your scent. It drove me crazy. I think that’s what woke me up the most. When I was getting ready to go on stage, when I was lying in bed waiting to see if you’d message me, I get a hint of your scent, but I knew something was strange with the combination. It didn’t sit right, and I wasn’t second guessing myself, but I was questioning what I got wrong. The flu was partly to blame. I was so fucking sick...”
“I got sick.”
He rubs his hand reassuringly over my shoulder. “That flu spread like wildfire. Almost every person I knew got it. Next time we can be sick together, watching movies in bed, getting special deliveries of our favourite snacks from the rest of our pack.”
I shake my head, stopping myself from getting caught up in his pretty story when I know I’ve still got some horrible days ahead.
“Where is he?” I ask without moving. I’m not that brave just yet, the way Rye cares is chasing the cold from my bones.
“He’s about to be escorted away by security guards. One of them is here with us near the door. He’s a good person, I promise.”
I hum in answer, but also to give myself some time to figure this out. But he goes on speaking, acting as though we’ve always been a team.
God, how I want that.
“The Mothers from Rejoice are going to be very keen to join us. They saw him pulling you away. How do you want to handle that?”
I sit up, needing to see his face to get a better read on him. Bad move on my part, and not because of the sharp pain radiating as I twist to look at him. Rye in the flesh, and not wearing a lick of makeup, is breathtaking, heartbreaking even.
He smirks, making him devastating.
“Hey, Sin. I’m Ryder or Rye to you. But to everyone else, I’m Ben,” he whispers, his eyes locking onto mine. My mind echoes with the words he said—how he saw the galaxy in my eyes. And now, I understand. Because that’s exactly what I see in his too.
It’s too much, and my gaze drops, but he gently lifts my chin, guiding my eyes back to his. “Tell me what I can do to make this better for you. Please.”
“I don’t want them to know,” I admit.
I’m pretty sure it’s not a great way to start anything by asking someone to lie, or to omit some pretty important, and relevant, details.
He shocks me, when he agrees in an instant. “Easy.”
“Really?”
“Of course. This is about you. I would like a doctor to check you out. And I have a lawyer friend I’d like you to talk to about this. To at least arrange a restraining order.”
My eyes burn, and I feel like I’m about to cry. The surge of emotion takes some deep breaths to contain. “I won’t do that.”
“Why?” he asks. And it’s not a bark at me, demanding a reason, it’s a gentle call for me to explain.
He goes to say something else but the security guard interrupts. “Incoming. Two women wearing Rejoice blazers. They look worried.”
I scramble to put distance between us, not wanting him to be caught in a compromising position with a student. He helps me to my feet but leans in so his words are low and just for me. “I still want you checked out properly. And the lawyer might have another way to handle the situation.”
Being around Brody has always felt like having a cheese grater scraping against my skin—raw and abrasive. Impossible to ignore I’ve learned to stay hyperaware—conditioned by how many times, and how badly, he’s hurt me. That instinct has become second nature, a defence I’ve come to trust. But Ryder… Ryder evokes the complete opposite end of the spectrum. Physically. Emotionally. Maybe even spiritually.
I have no idea what the future holds, but the broken parts of me ache for something more—for a chance to exist without always hurting.
I nod, agreeing to his terms, before dropping another bombshell on him. “They think he’s my brother.”
“What?” He scowls, completely stunned. “Jesus Christ. Are you serious?”
“Yes. But right now, I’d rather not have to talk about their monumental failure. I want to get away from here as fast as possible with no fuss.”
He’s flabbergasted, but on top of that a flame of anger flickers in his eyes.
Since I’m not quite sure if he’s getting more and more pissed by the second because of what I said, or if it’s a realisation that all this is simply too much for him to be a part of, I stay quiet.
I don’t think I made a mistake sharing what I did with him, but if he decides to tell the Rejoice staff, I’ll deal with the fallout. Undoubtedly, that would include leaving Unity as well as hearing about what a disappointment I am for the rest of my days back home.
My stress levels continue to build the longer he takes. I think the air gets caught in my lungs, until he reaches out and gently squeezes my hand.
“I’ll do whatever you want, Sin. But I want you to consider what I said about talking to the lawyer I trust.”
From behind us, the security guard makes another noise. I look at him, and he was waiting for my attention. “I’ve written my personal phone number there. You call me if you ever need help.”
“Thank you,” I say, carefully climbing to my feet. The sound of other people in the hallway continues to grow, and I manage to straighten my hair and clothes as the guard opens the door for the Rejoice staff.
I feed them so many lies I start believing them myself, but the continued chaotic feel of the hospital works in my favour, adding more fuel to the story that a man mistakenly grabbed my arm, thinking I was his daughter. I spin the ending, saying he left me with the security guard as soon as he realised his mistake and Ben managed to hide with us, helping the guard hold the door in place as the threat raced past us.
Our escape from the hospital happens as soon as the main entrance doors reopen. It takes a little while, and it’s scary to see the number of people trapped during the middle of an ADV meltdown.
On the ride back to Rejoice, everyone is quiet, lost in their own thoughts or too shaken by the events to talk. My thoughts circle as much as theirs, but one question rises above the rest: Why was Brody at the hospital?
Fragmented memories start to return—his strange scent, those faint marks on his hand. It’s not a hard leap to assume he’s sick or unwell. The more important question is why doesn’t he want anyone to know?
The sombre mood continues when we arrive back and follow Omega Mother Helena to her office. The phone call between her and Omega Mother Beatrice is inclusive of everyone at the hospital. It feels a lot like an interrogation, but as each person recounts their own version of events, all it does is solidify the original statement I made.
When I ask to leave the program early, no one blinks twice. I feel both sad and relieved to be leaving but I’d rather go now than risk Brody showing up.
“Goodness gracious, the lengths some people go to get out of public speaking,” Omega Mother Helena teases, giving me a final hug before she shoos all the loitering students away.
I wait for her and together we walk towards the waiting car. But before I open the door, she stops me.
“Simona, since you are technically not a student of mine and now we are off Rejoice grounds, I don’t need to be as considerate to the policies that tightly govern us.”
I search her face, looking for a hint as to what she’s talking about. Suspicion has me shuffling and changing my stance to take in more of our surroundings just in case.
One of my greatest fears with Brody and the founding families is their reach. I’ve seen the endless sea of new faces at the functions they hold, another reason I trust only myself. My heart thuds erratically as I wonder if I made a terrible mistake coming here.
“Do you know the full quote about where there is darkness there is light?”
I nod my head carefully before continuing. “In the light there is always hope.” She waves me on, wanting me to keep going. “In hope there is always love.”
She smiles, and it’s one of those teacher type of smiles—patient, encouraging. “I was on the panel for the writing competition, and you are a deserving winner. Your essay was poignant, but it was the small kernels of truth you graciously shared with us that resonated the deepest. There’s lots of people who forget the last line of that quote, Simona, ensure you are not one of them.”
And even though she doesn’t say another word before she leaves, I hear her voice in my head. Even though you may feel it. You are not alone.
Once the gate to Rejoice shuts with a resounding click, I turn, finally looking at Ryder. He wasn’t hiding his presence from anyone .
Like on New Year’s Eve, and back at the hospital, the way every part of my body and soul pivots towards him fills me with a deep clarity that all this suffering has been for a reason.
The smile that breaks over his face when I take a step towards him is as sweetly poetic as the sun breaking dawn on a new day.
“So, we’re clear, I have never been a teacher at Rejoice. If I was a teacher though, I wouldn’t pursue anything with you, Sin. Until I’d resigned. I volunteer for this specific program because I myself was once crippled by public speaking. Considering my choice of career,” he smirks, “it made things difficult. Someone I know signed me up for a Toastmasters Intensive. Instead of anyone else having to suffer through what I did, I decided to share what works for me. I won’t ever intentionally put you at risk—any sort of risk—either. I’m haunted by the vision of you scaling a fence to evade Dale, and more recently how I found you in there.”
I seriously don’t know what tomorrow looks like, let alone what the future holds, but it feels right when I take a step towards him. All the ideas I had of not pursuing something with him fade away as I eat up the distance between us and sink into his arms, savouring the way the world quietens as he holds me tight.