Chapter 20
Chapter
Twenty
SIMONA
“ A s much as I’d like to stay right here with you, doing exactly this for as long as possible, Sin, I’d also like to get you checked out by a doctor,” Ryder says softly. His words fan against the column of my neck, making me shiver. I think he missed it until I see the smirk gracing his wicked mouth.
I don’t say a word; I don’t need to either. He catches on very quickly.
“Sue me, okay? You’ve always held some monumental sway over me. One second in your company and I was changed on a cellular level. Our first phone hook up and not only did I come, but you turned my muse into a beast. I haven’t stopped writing about you or the impact it had on me.”
Says him. But one of the most talked about things about Ryder online or in any interview is his magnetism. His fans and critics alike are rabid for it, and they flock like mice scampering for a taste. I get it now. I mean, I was so hot for him before but Ryder apart from the flu is like standing under a blazing sun in the middle of summer. I light up like a glowworm at his words.
His hand stands on my lower back as he guides me to the car, and like a gentleman, he opens the door. I have to take a step back though, a heavenly, floral cloud rushing out of the car.
Ryder takes a step behind me, the warmth he omits chasing away shadows. “I didn’t know your favourite flower, so I grabbed a few. I hope you like them, Sin,” he whispers before another small press of his hand on my lower back urges me inside.
There’s barely any room inside the cabin of the car. The bench seat, where we’re apparently going to sit, is crammed full of boxed flowers. I suspect his version of grabbing a few made a lot of florists very happy. Every colour, shape, and size imaginable fills the space. Digging out my phone, I snap a photo—because if I ever get the chance to tell the Scorned Girls, there’s no way they’ll be able to picture just how many flowers I’m talking about.
He moves the seat until his leg is pressed up against mine. His warm, runny honey scent is more memorable than the symphony of smells wafting from the flowers. It makes my toes curl and makes me want to climb on his lap and lose myself in him.
As if tuned into my thoughts, he turns, making it impossible for me not to look at him. The amber in his eyes has darkened, reflecting the same undeniable pull I’m struggling to contain.
“The things I want to do to you,” he growls before clearing his throat. “But first, I have a near primal need to know you are okay. You should have seen a doctor before we left the hospital. Or at least have let me arrange one for you to see privately. I’ll be forever disappointed in myself for not pushing harder, for not finding a way to make that happen. ”
I shake my head, cutting him off. “I wouldn’t have seen anyone. Not here, and not last night.”
His gaze narrows and his scent sours in his frustration before he blinks it away. “Sorry. It still eats me up. But now you’ve left, I am hoping you will let me take you to someone who can make sure you’re okay.”
Last night when I got back to my room seems like a long time ago now. The hours dragged full of swooping highs as I remembered waking up in Rye’s arms, before I plummeted down so hard and fast I was on the tiled floor, rocking, trying to think of anything but what I saw in Brody’s eyes.
Looking away from Ryder’s gaze is necessary, it breaks the spell and gives me the chance to answer him. “I promise there’s nothing broken. I don’t want to see a doctor and I don’t want me not going to a doctor to turn into a thing between us.”
“Jesus, Sin, it never could. I respect your decisions, sometimes they won’t match mine, but I won’t hold it against you. All I need to know is that you are okay. It soothes a lot of the rage I had going on.”
“Rage?” I twist back to face him.
I watch as he takes a series of long slow breaths; it half looks like he is wrestling with himself. In that moment, where Ryder is in his own headspace, I look inward to make sure I’m comfortable with what I’m seeing, and I am.
“I have to tell you something, Rye,” I confess. And it’s a lot easier speaking while I don’t have to look at him. “There’s someone else in my life. He makes me feel the same way you do.”
“How do I make you feel?”
His question is delivered gently. There’s no surge of his designation making it a question I’m forced to answer. Instead, it comes across like he wants to know so he understands me better .
I don’t cower under his intense scrutiny and continue telling him the truth. “Like this thing between us is the beginning of something I’ve been waiting for, for a long time.”
He opens his eyes, and the anger from before has shifted to something else. In the kaleidoscope of his flickering, I’m struck by another confirmation of how wrong things have always been with Brody. He could never be as open and honest with me as Ryder is.
“It is, Sin. It really is,” he grabs my hand. “In time, everything is going to work out exactly how it should.”
“I hope so,” I answer. And I really do.
“Come on, let’s get you on your way home.”
“You’re not coming?”
He squeezes my hand. “I’d really like to, but tomorrow night I have a show to do.”
I shake my head in disbelief, because while I know he is Koded at the same time I’ve only ever seen him as Rye. A person with a beautiful giving nature and an addictive scent. “Is it silly if I say I kind of forgot what you do?”
Ryder throws his head back and laughs. “You are going to be so good for my ego. My number one fan only wants me for me.”
“Your number one fan, huh?” I tease.
He arches his eyebrows in challenge at my question, making him look insanely beautiful. A knowing smirk dances across his lips—sinful and tempting. It takes me a second to realise what’s making him smile—I’m leaning in, chasing a taste of his lips on mine.
“Is it wrong that I want to kiss you?” he asks, his eyes tracking over my face, watching carefully.
Like when I was back with Hendrix in his office, I don’t give either of us the luxury of second guessing. I remove the distance between us.
Except Ryder stops me .
His hands curl around my face, and he drops his forehead to mine before inhaling our reunion. All I can see is him, all I breathe is his sweet honey scent, and I’m glad he slowed us down because I want to remember every small part of it forever.
He rubs his nose on mine then trails it down my cheek and back. Repeating it on the other side, breathing his scent all over me, inhaling mine as it perfumes on my skin.
I’m giddy. Severely scent struck. My lips tingle like they’re covered in popping candy, anticipation crackling through every nerve as I wait for him to finally kiss me. I whimper when he rubs our noses together—a flicker of concern flashes in his eyes before understanding dawns. Then, as his lips press softly against the corner of mine, the air rushes from my lungs in a breathless whoosh.
Not breaking eye contact, he kisses his way from one side of my lips to the other before he whispers against them. “I’m not going to rush anything with you, but I am going to kiss you. Like I have wanted to from the first time I saw you.”
I nearly faint in anticipation. And when Ryder actually does press his mouth to mine in a way that destroys me, I nearly pass out from the rush, no, the crush, of all the sweet emotions that take flight.
“I need to go,” he growls softly against my lips. As he pulls away, a smirk tugs at the corners of his mouth.
“What?”
Before he answers, he traces a finger over them but midway I stop him when I suck his finger inside my mouth. My tongue curls around it suggestively before I shock myself by hollowing my cheeks and leaning in so I swallow all of it .
“Fuck, Sin, baby. I need to get on that flight but how am I going to walk across the tarmac now?”
Glancing down, he’s got his hand gripped around himself, through his jeans. And I smile in triumph when I realise instead of being freaked out by seeing him hard, it’s actually a beautiful sight. A normal thing for two people who clearly like each other to share. I love the fact I did that to him, and I also love how seeing him like that doesn’t scare me in the least. In fact, I want to feel him inside my mouth.
“How much time do you have?” I talk around his finger.
What I want to do to him makes me feel euphoric. It’s a win and a massive accomplishment in my healing. The way his eyes sparkle with mischief before he looks out of the car to see where the driver and his guard is only confirms how right it is.
The smile on his face blazes brighter, and with deliberate intent, I refuse to overthink myself and whether I should or shouldn’t be doing this. Taking a bold leap toward reclaiming the person I want to be, I drop to my knees in front of him, pressing my hands to his thighs as I push them apart.
“Can I?” I purr, embracing the empowerment coursing through my veins. Hendrix had me also feeling this way in the bathroom, and I loved how that played out.
Ryder’s thighs turn to marble under my hands, making me feel even stronger. His hips rise and the both of us rush to open his pants. I’m temporarily thrown by how good he looks: tattoos dapple his tanned skin, and his thighs are wide, making it a bit of a struggle as we both try to shove his tight black boxers past his knees. Eventually though, I come face to face with his cock.
For a cock, it’s gorgeous—the same honey-dipped colour as the rest of him. It’s as thick and long as I imagined, but in all our sexting, I missed the black stud through a part his dick, under the swollen head. The piercing only adds to the beauty. I’m thrilled I can look at it without being repulsed, and if anything, seeing his dick up close and personal only reconfirms how different my connection with Ryder is compared to Brody.
He unintentionally keeps me in the present, his voice holding me here with him. I read it as a sign of how right we are.
“Jesus, of course you can. Yes. Anytime, Sin baby,” he says, brushing back my hair and then holding my face so he can kiss me.
I wrap my hand around his hardness. In my own way I’m as eager and thankful as he is. And touching a man’s cock for the first time, without being forced to, is a wonderful thing. I have to break off our kiss so I can feel him and watch what I’m doing at the same time.
Ryder sinks back against the chair, letting me do whatever I want, humming and moaning softly as I run my hand up and down his length. His dick is hard and feels warm like it’s been in the sun all day, soft like silk too. I’m a complete BJ virgin, and I move on instinct alone.
I drag the tip of his cock along my lips, and it’s even softer than I thought it could be. The scent wafting off his skin is like opening a jar of honey and my tongue darts out eager for a taste. A small lick isn’t enough, and I take his velvety head in my mouth, swirling my tongue around the stud before finding the exact place his flavour pools from. I suckle. Before I realise what I’m doing. Horror blossoms and I go to pull away but Ryder groans, his hands burying in my hair, his hips moving slowly as he pushes himself further inside my mouth.
“Oh my god, Sin, your mouth is incredible. So good, baby, so good.”
Tilting my head slightly means I can watch his reactions. I hollow my cheeks and alternate between tongue swirls and more of the sucking he clearly likes. His unique flavour floods my mouth, and I do what feels good.
Taking even more of him, I open up and his cock glides towards the back of my throat. I gag but don’t stop, driven by a desire to taste his entire length.
“Oh god, Sin, that feels so good,” he praises, and I tighten my grip around the part of him I can’t fit in my mouth before I hollow my cheeks and start bobbing up and down.
His flavour leaks and mixes with my drool. My first head job is insanely messy, and I feel so inexperienced it isn’t funny, but he keeps praising and holding my head in his hands, letting his body, and mine, guide us.
I’m a little surprised by how turned on I get. I can feel my slick pooling in my panties. Pleasure builds and my core throbs, before I can do anything about it, Ryder murmurs under his ragged breath. “Sin, I’m going to come. Sit back. “
I suck harder and intentionally ignore his warning.
His fingers claw into my hair, and I watch transfixed. I get to see his irises flash black before he fills my mouth. I gag, but I lean forward to take more of his orgasm. Swallowing his first shot, and the next one. All these little aftershocks have his breathing hitching and his hips pumping, and I lick my way backwards when it’s clear he’s done.
He’s glaring at me, and I start to wonder what I’ve done wrong.
“Open your mouth, Sin.”
His glare was only pretend, and now I can easily see the heated awe in his pretty eyes.
I’m completely busted.
I blaze pink but I do as he said, uncurling my tongue and showing him what I refused to swallow before.
All of a sudden, I’m up on his lap facing him, his cock is pressed against my aching pussy. His tongue is in my mouth, and he’s swiping his come over every part of my mouth he can.
I barely breathe; I’m so turned on. He guides my hips back and forth with both his hands until I rub myself on his hard cock. The relief is beautiful, but when he starts to use his fingers along the seam of my pants, I literally can only take a couple of his touches before I’m whimpering against his mouth and soaking my panties with my release.