Chapter Thirty-One – Raeka
I never liked doctors. The hospitals and their offices always have that smell. Sterile, like it’s been bleached too many times. If you know, you know. Thankfully, with my lack of smell, this time I don’t smell a thing. A teeny, tiny bright side in this big mess that is currently my life.
I sit with Gideon as we wait in a small room for the results to come back.
Pax stayed home with Colter, though I could tell he was dying to accompany us today.
Gideon had to explain what was going on to the doctor, and apparently the doctor already knew about the not-so-legal scent dampeners.
I’m not the first omega to come to her office thanks to them.
“You know, if the FOA—” The Federal Omega Association, in charge of overseeing all omega health and safety throughout the country. “—would have scientists working on actual scent dampening shots or pills or whatever, omegas wouldn’t need to resort to things like this,” I say in a huff.
But, of course, why would the FOA approve of anything that stops omegas from matching with alphas? The country needs all the babies it can get. Babies are future members of society, future tax payers. Future opportunities.
“I know,” Gideon says, squeezing my hand. He’s held it ever since we arrived, and it doesn’t seem like he’s going to let go anytime soon. The alpha dragged a chair next to the one I sit in, and the way he holds onto me is a lifeline.
It’s… not the worst feeling.
“We’re given an illusion of choice, but that’s just it: an illusion. In the end, we’re expected to play our part,” I mumble. “And if we want to do anything that doesn’t involve popping out babies? Too damn bad.”
“Raeka,” he whispers, squeezing my hand again. “You know it won’t be like that for us, right? If you don’t want to have children, then that’s what I want, too.” He’s probably only saying that because he had his hands full with Colter all these years, but I can appreciate the sentiment.
“You think Pax feels the same?” Now’s not the best time to announce that I have an implant, but I almost say it.
“Probably. I know he wants you, and he’ll do anything to have you—”
Right then the door opens and Dr. Ced walks in. An elderly woman, one who has taken care of Gideon and Colter before. Their family doctor. She’s a sixty-some-year-old alpha with graying blond hair and a scrutinizing gaze that makes me feel uneasy. Then again, all doctors make me feel uneasy.
Gideon changes his course immediately, nodding at the doctor. “Dr. Ced. What are we looking at here?”
The doctor holds an old-fashioned clipboard with a few sheets of paper on it, my results.
She goes to sit on her stool before she says, “Seems to me Raeka is experiencing the most typical side effect of these shots: the receptors in her brain that normally inform her of what she’s smelling and whether or not it’s a good smell are, for lack of a better word, paralyzed.
She can’t smell anything, good or bad. The only fix is time, unfortunately, time for her body to flush itself of all remnants of those dampening shots. ”
Nothing we didn’t already know, then. Great. Totally could’ve avoided this stupid doctor’s visit, then.
“That doesn’t sound too bad,” Gideon says. “How long should that take?”
“It’s unique to everyone. Now, with how frequently Raeka was taking the shots, it might take anywhere from a few weeks to a month or two.”
“But it will fix itself? She’ll be able to smell again?”
Dr. Ced nods. “Yes. Now, her bloodwork… it seems that the shots elevated certain hormones in her bloodstream.”
As the alpha beside me asks “Which hormones,” a sinking feeling rises in my gut. Somehow, through the medical jargon the doctor replies with, I already know what it means.
I mutter, “Say it plain, Doc.”
Dr. Ced gives me a tight smile. “All of the hormonal indicators point to an early heat. Now, as the dampeners’ effects wear off, so might this hormonal imbalance.
That said, it might not. Your body may already feel as though it’s being pushed towards a heat, and the only way to completely get through it might be… well, to get through it.”
So I may or may not have an unnatural heat, months before I should be having my second heat. Fan-fucking-tastic.
The look on my face makes the doctor go on, “I wish I had better news for you, Raeka, but that’s exactly why these shots aren’t approved by the FOA.
They might be safe enough to use once in a while, but with an uptick in frequency, well…
the side effects compound on one another.
But you shouldn’t worry. You have a fantastic alpha at your side, and I’m sure Mr. Chase will do everything he can to help you get through it. ”
She checks her papers again. “You’re older than twenty-one, aren’t you? So you’ve already experienced your first heat?”
I nod.
“So you know what to expect. Now that you’re living in the same house as an alpha, your symptoms might be stronger.
They say the first heat is always the worst, and for most that is accurate, but I would say your first heat around your mate is the worst. It’s when you’re still learning each other, when you’re learning to be in sync with the other.
Typically an omega’s first heat is also the first she shares with her mates.
Your situation is obviously not of the norm.
I just want you to be prepared—both of you. ”
Gideon nods sagely, while I feel like I’m having an out of body experience.
My first heat sucked ass, but I got through it with a massive silicone knot.
Now that I’m in a house with not one but two alphas and a beta that would all trip over themselves to service me, somehow I know that fake knot isn’t going to cut it.
Shit.
The doctor asks if we need anything to help us through the possible impending heat, but Gideon declines.
There’s some paperwork we need to fill out before we leave, and then thankfully we are out of there and on our way home, where I get to obsess over the fact that I may or may not go through a heat because of those stupid shots.
Fuck. I should’ve known nothing could ever be simple and easy.
On the drive home, Gideon asks, “What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking that my life sucks. What are you thinking?”
He doesn’t appreciate my flippant response, based on the look he gives me after that. “I’m serious. The possibility of another heat so soon… we should prepare, just in case. It might not happen, but—”
“Oh, with my luck, it’ll definitely happen.”
“Your luck. What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I have shitty luck.”
“You absolutely do not. If you think your so-called shitty luck brought me to you, and you to us, then we have a different definition of the word shitty.” He tosses me another look, this one full of warmth and comfort. “We’ll get through it together. I’ll talk to the others and we’ll prepare.”
Softly, I whisper, “I just didn’t think I’d have to deal with another heat so soon. It sucks.”
Gideon is quiet for a moment. “I know, but you won’t face it alone this time. You have me, Pax, and Colter—”
“And Mr. Knot-o-roboto.”
“Mr… what?”
“Mr. Knot-o-roboto is the alpha dildo I used to get myself through my first heat.” As I explain exactly what Mr. Knot-o-roboto is, Gideon’s cheeks redden, much like they did when we first met and I said other off-the-wall things.
It’s one of the reasons I originally thought he was kind of cute. I mean, what alpha blushes?
He coughs. “Oh. I see. I… see. Well, yes, you have the three of us and your, uh, robotic helper. I’m certain together we can get you through anything.”
I don’t know what makes me ask it, but I do: “Would you use Mr. Knot-o-roboto on me?”
His cheeks flush even harder. “Uh, if you wanted me to, yes.”
“Would you use it on yourself?”
All Gideon does is chuckle awkwardly, and he brings a hand away from the steering wheel to rub the back of his neck as he looks away from me. For an alpha who is typically the calm and collected type, he gets pretty flustered when talking about things like this.
I don’t know why. He seemed eager to be put to use when he was with Pax and I. Personally, I think it’d be kind of sexy to watch him with my silicone knot.
Or even a real knot.
Shit. I squeeze my thighs together and try to think of other things, to stop myself from leaking any sort of perfume that would inform Gideon just how much I like that idea.
Think of kitties and puppies. How much I hated high school.
Something. Anything else that would get my mind away from the gutter it currently resides in.
Thankfully, I made things awkward enough that all conversation dies after that, and once we get home, I tell Gideon I’m going to invite Mercedes over. I need to talk to somebody about all this shit, somebody who can understand where I’m coming from.
While Gideon goes inside the house to tell Pax and Colter about the doctor’s visit, I sit on the front stoop and call Mercedes.
Thankfully, she picks up after the first ring.
“Hey,” I say, “I really need to talk to someone who doesn’t have a dick swinging between their legs. You want to come over for a bit?”
“Sure. I’m at N.O.A., but I can see if Warren can drop me off at your place.”
After that, it’s a forty-minute wait until Mercedes shows up.
Before she has the chance to get out of the car, I see her lean over and give Warren a kiss.
Once out, she gives him a wave and a smile as he drives off, and it’s only after he’s fully pulled out of the driveway that she comes and joins me on the steps near the front door.
“So,” she starts, sticking her hands under her knees, “what’s going on? You sounded freaked on the phone.”