Chapter Thirty-One – Raeka #2
The breeze curls around us, and I close my eyes for a few moments before I breathe in deeply and tell her everything.
At this point, why not? The first thing I do is tell her that I think I messed up, that I might actually like being where I told myself I’d never be.
That I think I like the men in this house, and I’m beyond certain they like me in return.
“That’s not bad at all,” she says. “I told you it sounded like a pack was forming. Darius told me that Pax talked to him about it, too.”
That’s news to me. “Really?”
“Really. He was anxious about it, wanted Darius’s opinion.”
“And what did Darius say?”
“What do you think? Darius wants his brother to be happy, so do their parents. I guess Pax has always been a lone wolf, no one ever thought he’d settle down or find himself a pack.” She leans in toward me and whispers, “But for the right girl, for a scent match, an alpha will do anything.”
I laugh. “A scent match? What do you mean?”
The mirth on my friend’s face fades somewhat. “Oh, crap. You mean Pax didn’t tell you yet?”
“Tell me what?” The only scent match I know is Mercedes and Darius; it makes everything between them feel more intense, the bond between them deeper. It’s fairytale-level stuff, and it doesn’t happen as often as you’d think.
“Pax mentioned he thinks you’re his scent match, but he’s confused about it because you don’t really react to him like a scent match would.
” Mercedes bites her bottom lip. “I mean, when I was with Darius, before we bonded, I… it was almost impossible to be in the same room as him and think straight, and he was so standoffish to me that it hurt me inside. If you don’t feel any of that, maybe it’s just dreaming on Pax’s part. ”
With a sigh, I bury my face in my hands.
Time to confess the rest of the story, since it might have something to do with all that.
I tell her about the scent dampeners, about how there might be side effects—the biggest one that I might have a fake heat coming soon.
“And,” I say slowly, “it’s messed up my brain somehow.
When I smell things, I can’t smell them at all.
Like my brain doesn’t register the scent and whether it’s good or bad. ”
She takes a moment to process this information. “That would explain why you don’t react, then. You could be scent matches.”
“Only way to tell is time, I guess.”
“You don’t sound happy about it.”
My shoulders go up and down once. “I… I’m not mad about it, if it is true.
It’s just—” How can I say it without sounding stupid?
Like I’m complaining about something most omegas would kill to have?
“—it’s all so much. If Pax really is my scent match, he’s got to be going crazy.
” I touch my neck as I remember that day downtown.
“I guess it makes sense, with how crazy he goes when he smells me.”
I chuckle in disbelief as the notion fully hits me. “You know, I started taking those scent dampeners more often because Pax and Gideon just smelled too damn good. I didn’t trust myself to be alone with them with their musk filling the air.” With a shake of my head, I mutter, “Shit.”
“You know, I dealt with an induced heat.”
That’s news to me. “What? When? Why?”
“When Jay took me. I don’t really like to talk about it, but…
you know he claimed me when we were kids, but he wanted to wait to bite me and bond us together until I was in heat.
For the romance, I guess.” She shakes her head.
“He’s the reason I never liked alphas, the reason I didn’t want a pack.
All I wanted to do was run. I thought accepting the offer from the Alabasters would give me enough time and money to get away for good. ”
“I remember, but you never told me about the induced heat.”
“When he kidnapped me, he injected me with something. Some black-market stimulant. He thought it was speeding up my natural heat, you know, so he could bite me while I was away from my pack, but what it ended up doing was giving me an extra heat, right before my first natural one.”
Man, that blows chunks. “I’m sorry, that must’ve been awful.”
“It was, but my guys… my alphas, they made it better, and I realized I could never run. Somehow, against all odds, I found my pack. My pack, my scent match, a future I never dreamed of.” Her amber eyes study me. “Maybe you found the exact same thing.”
She had a traumatic past with an alpha. I knew as much already.
It made sense for her to hate alphas so much.
Me? Why do I hate them so? I guess it’s less about hating alphas than it is about accepting my own role in society.
Being an omega, accepting everything that comes with it…
that’s the part I have a tough time with.
“The hardest part is accepting it,” she tells me.
“Trust me, I know all about that, but once you do, it’s like everything clicks into place.
I know you can be happy, Raeka, but you have to let yourself.
For people like us, it’s not easy, and it’s something that I fought for a long time, but our happiness matters, so if you find someone—or multiple someones—who make you happy, then don’t let them go. Hold onto them as hard as you can.”
It takes me a moment to admit, “You’re right.”
“Of course I am. I had to learn that the hard way.”
I laugh at her lack of modesty. Such a switch from the meek omega she was the first night I met her at the Omega Garden. Man, how everything had changed for us both.
We sit there for a while longer, though we talk about better things, such as how her work at the New Omega Academy is going.
With how crazy my life has been lately, I haven’t been able to stop by as much as I wanted to.
It’s a noble goal, wanting to create a place that is truly safe and welcoming to omegas who don’t have a home.
After a while, we go inside, where I make us a little something for lunch.
I’m in the process of making Mercedes a sandwich when Colter appears.
He wears a nice smear of orange paint on his cheek, wearing one of his signature hoodies—he’s about three steps into the kitchen when he realizes I’m not alone.
The very second he spots Mercedes hanging around me, he skids to a halt and his eyes widen.
Though he’s, for lack of a better word, speechless, Mercedes isn’t.
She gives him a smile that’s sweet—if she was anyone else, that smile might’ve irritated the jealous part of me I didn’t know existed, but as it is, she’s my friend, and she’s already bonded to three alphas.
That means she’s not lured to any other scents and nobody is lured to her.
Nature’s checks and balances for the win.
“You must be the beta. Hi. I’m Mercedes.”
He looks like he wants to run away, run back upstairs, but I meet Colter’s eyes across the kitchen and give him a smile that relaxes him somewhat. “That’s Colter, Gideon’s nephew. Colter, this is Mercedes, my friend.”
I think that’s the first time I’ve ever introduced Mercedes to anybody, let alone called her my friend out loud.
Mercedes, thankfully, goes with it. She shoots me a knowing look and whispers loud enough for the beta to hear, “He’s pretty cute.”
The expression Colter gives me is enough that I don’t need him to write it on his tablet to know what he’s thinking: Help me.
“I’m making sandwiches,” I say. “Do you want one?” That might just be the first time I’ve ever offered to make a man something.
So far, Gideon’s been the cook, although we do get a lot of food delivered, too.
Nobody in this house is a fantastic cook, but that’s all right.
Maybe I’ll look up some recipes if I’m feeling adventurous; I can combine that with my online sign language lessons.
Colter shakes his head. He goes to the refrigerator and pulls out a flavored water before hurrying out of the kitchen. He tosses me a lingering look before rounding the corner into the hallway and leaving me alone with Mercedes.
I finish up with our sandwiches, and we take them to the back patio.
“I meant what I said,” Mercedes says. “Your beta is cute.”
“He’s not my beta.” The words are a reflex, coming from me automatically, spoken before I have the chance to stop them.
“Isn’t he?”
Once again, she’s right. I’m so used to denying things, to resisting, that the denial comes without an ounce of work.
What’s hardest for me is, obviously, accepting the truth, and right now the truth of the matter is my friend is right.
That beta is mine, just like the other two alphas in this house are mine, too.
“He is,” I admit out loud. “He’s been mine for a while. He’s got this way about him, it’s hard to explain. He can calm me down, pull me off the edge, without even trying. He’s sweet.”
“You probably have a thing for stepping on alpha toes, but I can totally see you needing someone sweet.”
I shoot my friend an icy glare, but it only makes her chuckle. “You’re lucky I don’t take that sandwich away and kick you out right now.”
She grins. “You wouldn’t.”
“You’re right, I wouldn’t. All this personal growth on my part is disgusting.” This time, when she laughs, I join in.
If this is my life, I can get used to it. Maybe having a pack wouldn’t be so bad.