Chapter 38
THIRTY-EIGHT
Gage
THIS WAS NOTHING like the handful of times I’d playfully bitten someone during sex. The blood in my mouth tasted like a drug; like addiction painted red and caged in iron.
Jez had trusted me to be inside her body—my knot still nestled within the space that had been perfectly made for it.
Now, she was inside me, as well. Her mind held the same sharp, metallic edge as her blood.
She was a steel blade, but that blade was double-edged.
One side sliced outward, seeking vengeance against those who’d hurt her, and countless others like her.
The other side of the blade faced inward, and that was the razor-sharp edge that stopped my breath for a long moment.
My mate lay bound under a guillotine of her own making. I sensed the peril that hung over her, every hour of every day. The need to fix it made my muscles twitch.
I could feed her chocolate cake and dress her in fine clothing, but none of it touched the bright line of pain at the center of her being.
I jerked my teeth away from the fresh mark I’d made, breathing hard. Instinct urged me to lick the wound closed, but it also urged me to protect the other part of my soul at all costs, even if the thing she needed protecting from was herself.
“Jez,” I said hoarsely. “Why didn’t you tell us that you don’t want the surgery to remove your gland?”
I could feel the ache of it... the grief for another part of herself that was about to be taken against her will.
Alpha instinct to step between my mate and the thing threatening her swelled, until I felt like I’d grown to three times my normal size.
Inside me, a growling, slavering monster raged.
A monster that needed to destroy every single thing that might hurt Jez.
Beyond the all-consuming newness of the mating bond, a second presence lurked.
Heath.
Alarm trickled through the two-way connection, muted by distance and the immediacy of Jez’s distress. I ignored it.
Instead, I gathered Jez up in a tight embrace. “Kitten, talk to me,” I begged.
She shook her head almost violently. Fresh blood welled from the mating bite.
“There’s nothing to say.” The words sounded broken.
My knot had begun to deflate under the force of her sadness. It slipped free from her body, separating us even though I wasn’t ready.
“There’s plenty to say,” I shot back. “If you don’t want the surgery, you shouldn’t get the surgery!”
Instead of making things better, this only seemed to upset her more.
“But I have to!” she said, her voice wavering. “Heath doesn’t want the mating bond! I can’t make him stay mated to me!”
I could still sense Heath through the bond, even if it was harder to untangle the feelings he was putting out. I got the sense of movement, though. Of action.
“Yeah?” I shot back. “Well, what if I want the bond? What then?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered.
I sealed my mouth over her precious gland, laving my tongue across the raw toothmarks to heal them. She melted beneath the soothing touch, making my heart swell even bigger. When the bleeding stopped, I reluctantly pulled away.
“From where I’m sitting, that makes the vote two to one, against the surgery,” I told her. Then I sat up and rummaged around for my discarded shirt. “Here, sweetheart. Put this on for me. I think we might be about to have a visitor.”
She seemed very small as she let me help her into the oversized garment. I untangled the trousers I’d tossed aside and pulled them on, just so I’d have something as a nod toward modesty in case Tony showed up, too.
No sooner had I returned to the bed and pulled Jez into a protective embrace against my side than a harsh knock sounded at the bedroom door. Heath yanked it open without waiting for a response.
He looked wild-eyed and disheveled. And, sure enough, I could just make out Tony’s uncertain form, half-hiding behind him. Jez cringed and huddled closer against me, hiding her face in my neck.
“What. The fuck,” Heath said, in utter bewilderment. “Gage, what the fuck?”
Tony pushed forward just enough to be seen behind Heath’s shoulder, although he very pointedly kept his eyes averted from the bed.
“You really mated her?” he asked, less loudly than Heath, but with just as much shock in his voice. “Jez, did you consent to this? Are you okay?”
I tried not to be offended by that. I really did. But all the emotions were too big right now, and most of them weren’t even mine. A growl rose in my chest.
“You think I’d mate someone against their will?” I demanded—only realizing after the words were out how that might sound to Heath.
He flinched, both physically and through the bond. Jez flinched in sympathetic response.
Tony was trying his best to act like someone who wasn’t scared of alphas and big feelings—standing his ground in the face of my anger, even though it looked like all he wanted to do was run away.
“I want to hear it from her,” he said. “Jez... please.”
There was a terrible pause.
“I wanted it,” Jez said in a tiny voice. She looked up, lifting her head away from my shoulder. “It was supposed to be temporary. Just like all of this is temporary. But—”
She trailed off.
“But she doesn’t want the surgery,” I finished for her. “She never did. How the fuck did you not know that, Heath?”
Tony’s eyes went very wide, and Heath looked like he’d been pole-axed.
“I... I was trying to block the bond,” he stammered. “It was nonconsensual, and I thought it would be easier for both of us if I walled it off. As much as I could, at least.”
“Yeah, and you stopped doing that last night,” I told him. “I was there, remember? So, again, how the fuck did you not know?”
Tony’s brown eyes darted between us. “There were a few other things going on at the time,” he said. “As you might remember.”
Some of my righteous indignation drained away.
“No, he’s right,” Jez agreed. I could feel the fine tremor of stress in her muscles, her earlier relaxation gone without a trace. “And I wasn’t really thinking about the surgery until you... until we...”
Her voice broke.
Awkward silence fell over the room.
“It’s true, though?” Heath asked, when it threatened to grow too thick. “You want to keep your mating gland? Keep the bond?” He hesitated. “Or... bonds, rather?”
Jez lifted tear-filled eyes. “I don’t want to be an omega without a mating gland. I know you hate me for what I did—”
Heath’s head snapped back as though he’d been struck. “I don’t hate you.”
Tension stiffened Tony’s shoulders.
“Maybe I should, um... leave now?” he said. “I’m just making this more complicated—”
“No,” Jez and Heath said in unison.
I shut my eyes for a moment, trying to pack away all the strong feelings ricocheting back and forth through the three-way mental connection.
Jez and I had made an impulsive decision—and I, at least, had done it without having all the information.
The longer we talked, the more I thought that maybe Jez hadn’t had all the information, either.
She hadn’t been lying about intending to get the surgery. I was beginning to think she just hadn’t considered that there was any other option.
We all needed to lower the emotional temperature before things got out of hand, and people started saying stuff they’d regret later. Then, we needed to face the music head-on... because keeping shit in the dark hadn’t worked out too well for us, so far.
“Okay,” I said, opening my eyes. “Here’s what’s happening. Everyone’s getting cleaned up. Take a shower, get some fresh clothes. After which, the four of us are gonna go tell Knox what’s happening.”
Three faces went sheet-pale.
I looked at the ceiling for strength. “That’s not negotiable, okay?
He’s our pack leader. Plus, he’s been operating under the same misconception as the rest of us, right?
He thinks Jez wants the surgery. So, we’ll go let him know about the mating, and what Jez actually thinks.
.. and whatever you and Tony need to tell him, Heath. ”
Jez winced. Tony went even paler.
“All right. But... are we really, really sure that his heart’s okay now?” Jez asked, in a tiny voice.
“Guess we’re about to find out,” I said.