Chapter 39
THIRTY-NINE
Knox
I WAS DRAGGING THIS morning, just like I’d been dragging every morning since I was released from the hospital. It didn’t help that I could hear other people moving around, interspersed with voices talking and arguing.
I couldn’t make out the words, but the rise and fall of it kindled a fresh sense of unease in my gut.
Maybe I’d been deluding myself—Heath and Jez needed to work out their shit, and I’d believed it would be better if they did that without me breathing down their necks.
Now, though, I was struck with the inexplicable certainty that something else had happened while I’d been asleep.
Grimly, I slogged through my morning routine. Shower, shave, dress for a day of dealing with nervous investors and business partners who still seemed to think I had one foot in the grave. I’d just draped a sober dove-gray tie around my neck when a purposeful knock sounded at the bedroom door.
Well.
At least they were coming to me, instead of making me chase them down later.
“Come in,” I called, turning from the oval mirror just in time to see Gage open the door.
“Hey, boss,” he greeted. “How ya feeling this morning?”
“Fine,” I said cautiously, sensing a slightly more veiled version of the ‘how’s your heart?’ conversation that seemed to be plaguing me since Jez’s attack. “What can I do for you all?”
Three other figures hovered behind Gage’s broad shoulders.
I’d thought I’d heard Tony’s voice in the mix earlier, and I’d wondered if he and Heath had successfully hashed things out.
On the one hand, they had a pretty big age gap, and any relationship between the pair was likely to make things complicated as hell while Heath remained mated to Jez.
On the other hand, Tony was a good kid, and both he and Heath deserved some joy in their lives.
Gage cleared his throat and came inside.
Heath followed, looking like death warmed over.
Jez and Tony stayed close to the doorway, either for ease of escape or because they weren’t comfortable taking up space in my room.
Although, to be fair, the presence of three alphas arrayed in a tense triangle made the generous bedroom feel smaller than it actually was.
The scent of caramel coffee wafted around us, making my spine tingle.
“So...” Gage began, rubbing at the back of his neck in a habitual nervous gesture. “Jez and me mated each other last night.”
The tight ball of misgivings that had been gathering in my stomach abruptly turned to lead.
“Because, y’know, if she was going to get a glandectomy, it wouldn’t be permanent anyway, right?” he hurried on.
Which... was admittedly true. My shoulders relaxed a bit.
“Except, it turns out she doesn’t really want the surgery,” Gage said. “She just thought she didn’t have a choice.”
My eyes flew to the wide-eyed omega waif poised by the doorway as though ready to flee at the first sign of trouble. “Is that true, Jez?”
She rolled her lower lip between her teeth, but I could read the truth behind her huge gray eyes.
The weight in my stomach turned to queasiness.
Had my pack and I unwittingly steamrolled this woman into agreeing to a life-altering surgery against her will?
I tried to think back, seeking any hint that she’d been under duress.
I’d assumed from the beginning that it was what she would want... because it’s what I would want, if I was an omega who’d been mated without proper consent. Every time we’d talked about it, she’d agreed with me immediately.
My queasiness grew worse.
She’d agreed with the rich alpha who had the power to put her in prison with a snap of his fingers. Whose house she was staying in... whose food she was eating... whose life she’d tried to end because she’d bought into a calculated lie.
“You didn’t think you had a choice,” I echoed, appalled.
But she shook her head almost violently.
“No, I mean... I thought it was what I wanted.” She picked at the cuff of her shirt, not making eye contact. “It’s the only thing that makes sense, you know? It’s not fair to Heath to make him stay mated, and it isn’t as though I wanted to be bonded to someone who has so many reasons to hate me.”
Heath had been standing frozen, almost statue-like during the exchange.
But at that, he came to life. “I told you; I don’t hate you, Jez.
I was angry. I’m still angry, but I also know now that you were a victim, too.
You hurt Knox. You also saved me, back at the silos.
And I don’t know where that leaves us—but whether you let surgeons cut out a part of your body is your choice, not mine. ”
Jez’s jaw, which had been hanging slightly open, clicked shut.
Heath sighed deeply. “I know it’s still complicated as hell.” He turned to me. “And I’m about to make it even more complicated. Tony and I want to pursue a relationship. I’d like to make him part of the pack.”
Gage looked smug. “Bout time,” he muttered.
As for Tony himself, he looked like if he tried hard enough, he might be able to sink through the floor and disappear.
“I have no problem with that,” I told him, gentling my tone as much as I could. “You’re welcome here, Tony. Sorry about the non-stop batshit insanity lately. Believe it or not, it isn’t always like this.”
That startled a snort from him. “Um... thanks. And good to know, I guess? Now, if that’s out of the way, would anyone object if I disappeared back to my apartment so I can rock quietly in the corner for an hour or two with no interruptions?”
Heath looked like he wanted to object, but he caught himself. “Whatever you need. You’ll let me know if there’s a problem, though?”
Tony’s dark eyes softened. “Yeah. Sorry—I’m used to dealing with stuff on my own. Well... aside from inconvenient dead bodies, anyway. It’s going to take some adjusting, is all.”
“For him, too.” Gage hooked a thumb at Heath. “Don’t worry, though. We’re going to get this figured out and make it all work. You’ll see.”
Tony mustered a smile. “I know better than to disagree when you make a prediction about something, big guy. Jez, are you okay here?”
Jez still looked more like someone staring down the gallows than someone staring at a tastefully decorated bedroom, but she nodded.
“I’m fine,” she said.
I made a mental note regarding how quick she was to lie about her own emotions. That was something I should’ve pegged sooner, even though I hadn’t exactly been at my best for the past few days.
“Okay,” Tony told her, accepting it. “You know where to find me if you need me.”
I waited until he’d left, before catching Heath and Gage’s eyes. “I think it would be best if I had a word alone with Jez.”
Gage looked at her. “That all right with you, kitten?”
She nodded, and I took comfort in the knowledge that Gage would be able to tell if she was lying.
He turned back to me. “I know we made things even more complicated by mating last night, but I ain’t gonna apologize for it. You don’t throw away your scent match just because things are difficult.”
He grabbed Heath’s arm and propelled him toward the door. Pausing, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of Jez’s head.
“Remember... we are going to make this work,” he told her. “Promise.”
She didn’t look like she believed it, but she did paste on a wan smile for him.
He and Heath left, leaving the door open behind them. I saw Heath shoot an unreadable glance over his shoulder before the pair disappeared down the hallway.
Alone with my would-be murderer, I let out a sigh, crossed my arms, and rested a hip against the heavy dresser.
“I think I steamrolled you before, and I didn’t even realize I was doing it,” I told her. “I have no idea how you and I are supposed to navigate this situation, but that’s not an excuse for forgetting what a power imbalance looks like.”
She hesitated for a moment. “It didn’t make sense for me to keep my gland. I was ready to get it cut out in a back alley. It’s what anyone would expect me to do.”
“Maybe,” I agreed. “But you’re still the one who needs to make that choice. Sure, Heath is part of it. Gage too, now. But it’s your body that’s on the line, not any of ours.”
The silence stretched longer this time.
“Whenever I think about having my mating gland removed, all I feel is sad,” she said eventually. “But I’ve been sad about a lot of things that still needed to be done. Wanting something hasn’t exactly been a big reason for doing things in my life... or for not doing them. Survival has.”
I could only imagine.
“You wanted the bond with Gage, though?” I probed. “He certainly seems to want it with you.”
“I did,” she whispered. Then she squared her shoulders. “I do.”
“And what about Heath?”
Her shoulders slumped again. “I don’t know. It seemed so right when I was in heat. So simple.”
“But you’re okay with him and Tony being together?” I asked.
She frowned. “Of course I am! I told Heath he was being an idiot if he turned down someone as sweet as Tony.”
I filed that little tidbit away as being extremely interesting.
“And he listened to you,” I mused. “So, it sounds like you and he might have found some common ground, at the very least.”
“Maybe,” she allowed, but her expression was unsure.
I took a centering breath. “Lorenzo Vozzina tried to have me killed, using you as his weapon,” I said, not sugar-coating it.
She looked down at her bare feet. “Yes.”
“As far as I’m concerned, your mating bonds with Heath and Gage are completely separate from that,” I went on. She looked up again, surprised.
“But—”
I cut her off, shaking my head. “It’s true that our shared past still hangs over us. I can’t forget that you’re my scent match, any more than you can forget I’m yours. But I don’t think trying to act on that would be fair to either of us. Not after everything that’s happened.”
I ignored the surge of alpha stubbornness that snarled in disagreement with the words. This situation was going to be difficult enough to navigate without letting animal instincts steer the boat.
“No,” she breathed. “I guess it wouldn’t be.”
It was time to change the subject, before the soft scent of sadness beneath her omega perfume further roused the beast inside me.
“Regardless of everything else, we still need to get your identity papers, and publicly establish you as part of the pack,” I said briskly, straightening away from my perch. “There’s a charity gala coming up... one that I need to be seen at, so everyone knows I’m back at work and fully recovered.”
Of course, fully recovered was a stretch. But the business world was full of sharks, and I had no intention of becoming chum in the water.
“You want me to come with you to this gala?” Jez asked.
“I’d like to make it a pack affair, yes. In fact, I’d like Tony to come as well, if he’s willing.”
She seemed to consider that.
“I’ve never been someone’s arm candy before,” she said, and I thought I could hear a touch of genuine amusement in her tone.
“I sincerely doubt Tony has, either,” I quipped back. “Although, to be clear, I object to the term in both cases. You’re both part of this pack, no matter how unusual the circumstances that brought us to this point.”
“All right,” she said. “I’ll come.”
“Good,” I replied. “Oh... there’s one more thing. I need to finalize the name we’ll be using for your paperwork. Jez is short for...”
“Jezebel,” she said, without much enthusiasm.
“Are you okay with something a little less unique?” I asked. “I was thinking Jessica Smith? Although it will be Jessica Knockley, now.”
Her expression cleared. “Jessica is good. Funny... back in school I used to tell people that’s what Jez was short for. I always hated Jezebel. My dad chose it.”
I ached for a little girl who’d been branded deceitful and immoral before she could even talk. Idly, I wondered if Jez’s father was still alive, and if he’d ever faced any consequences for what he’d done to her.
“Jessica it is, in that case,” I said. “And while I may not be able to promise you another mate bond, you’re more than welcome to my last name.”
Jez’s eyes went far away. “It’s been a long time since I had one of those,” she said.