Chapter 35
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Kenny
I n the last two weeks, Kit had grown and now had the run of the house. I’d spent as much time as possible with him, and with Liz, since we’d agreed to spend time together.
And right now, looking at her from across the room was torture.
Well, okay, no. I had a friend or two who had actually been tortured, so I didn’t like using that word, but crap if it didn’t feel like I was crawling out of my skin to get closer to her.
Ironic since we’d spent inordinate amounts of time close these last two weeks, and yet I hadn’t taken any real shots with her. I’d failed completely to make a move, and I had a blaring green light.
Like, honestly. Who stays stopped at a stop line when the light is green?
This guy, apparently !
We’d sat on her couch and watched movies. We’d sat on mine. Playing with Kit had entertained us for hours. We’d eaten like ten meals together, just the two of us and a handful of others with various combinations of friends. I’d snuck us up the gondola to the top of Silver Ridge peak thanks to my ski lift friend Jiff, and we’d been to see a depressing Oscar-contender movie at the theater which we both lightly pretended to appreciate until we both realized we hated it, then gleefully returned to my place to binge half of Ted Lasso season one in an effort to apologize to ourselves.
We’d also checked in with Jack and Evie often, who were both doing well. The baby was reportedly growing well and healthy, and I could admit, I couldn’t wait to meet her little one. Not that I expected to hold it or anything, but it made me even more excited for Beast and Jess.
And maybe a touch wistful.
Liz and I had been all over town, my quest to show her Silverton and how delightful it could be continuing in earnest amidst our… whatever this was. Because as much as some of it felt like a date, it also very much didn’t.
We’d gone sledding with friends. We’d gone on a jog together. We’d done so. Many. Things.
Except kiss.
Or any other fun activities that might accompany kissing.
And I couldn’t tell if it was me holding back or her or both of us or some messy mix of miscommunication brought on by not communicating about such things. Whatever the case, it was getting old, and I was struggling to keep my hands to myself and yet also succeeding maybe a little too well.
“Any questions about the assignments in the next few weeks? Hijack’s joining us soon, Cookie’s out, and we have our VIP in place for another little bit.” Bruce checked his notepad, then looked up in search of anyone who needed his attention.
Thankfully, no one did. We’d been here for a quick twenty-minute debrief on a situation that’d come up overseas, though fortunately the Washingtons had it handled, as usual. Then we’d reviewed the next few weeks’ schedule due to a change up with a few personnel, and then… well, honestly, I’d spaced out because Liz had worn her hair in a long braid today instead of her usual bun at the back of her head and I couldn’t think of anything I wanted more than to just… mess it up.
Well, mess it up with my hands while I kissed her into oblivion, preferably naked. With her gorgeous hair cascading around us, I’d slide my tongue down her?—
“Barbie? You raised your hand?”
My head snapped to Bruce and found his eyes on me, brows raised.
What? What?! My hand was not raised. No raised hands. No hand-raising. “Wh-at? No. I’m good. I’m all good.”
He winked. “Good. Have a great week, everyone.”
Cookie’s breathy chuckle confirmed my suspicion. Bruce had totally caught me staring at Liz and had called me out in front of everyone. Super.
Hopefully, she hadn’t noticed my eyes had been on her. Also here’s hoping she didn’t realize what I was thinking about because that would be so deeply less than ideal.
“You going to make it? Need a minute before you stand up?” Cookie asked between laughs.
I sent him a glare but couldn’t hold it, so I shoved his chair away. “Shut it. I’m just fine.” But also, was it that obvious I’d been mooning over Liz?
I grabbed my coffee mug and notepad, refusing to look at her again despite the gut-deep desire to. A hand on my shoulder halted my progress right as everyone else slipped out of the room.
“Gotta cool it with that, Barbie.” Bruce squeezed, then released me.
Wilder, Bruce, and Adam all stood side by side when I turned back into the conference room.
“Sorry. I know. I’m genuinely sorry.” And now, a little embarrassed, despite rarely feeling embarrassment.
“Might need to tell her that. Can’t imagine she didn’t notice you.”
Wilder’s unamused expression made me shrivel up a little. He was Liz’s stepbrother, after all, and he wasn’t the type of man to let the step deter him from exercising his protective instincts.
“You gotta get a grip, man,” Adam said, disappointment ringing so loudly in his tone, I felt the need to take a seat at the sound of it.
“We would love to keep her on as long as she’s here. I can’t imagine that’ll happen if she’s feeling harassed,” Bruce said, his tone chiding.
My cheeks heated as mortification set in. “I didn’t mean to make her uncomfortable, I?—”
My words halted as Bruce’s face cracked in a smile.
Pretty sure my heart stopped beating altogether when Wilder’s did, too, albeit a much smaller one.
Adam’s chuckle solidified the realization, and I finally sucked in a breath.
“Wait. This is a joke?” I asked, the truth dawning.
Bruce laughed. “Sorry, Barb. We had to. You were just so transfixed. But I’m fairly certain she didn’t notice, or if she did, she was very subtle about it. She’s not used to our way of doing things so she had more to pay attention to.”
I shoved at Adam’s shoulder, and he looped his arm around my neck.
“No, no, no, none of that. You were obvious as all get out, but you got lucky. This is a legitimate heads up.” He released me.
Breathing came more easily now, but my heart rate was still thrumming in the wake of the genuine dismay I’d felt. “Lesson learned. I’m pretty hard to embarrass but the thought that I’d made her feel bad…” I shook my head.
“Our boy’s got a real crush,” Bruce said, sounding like a proud papa.
I groaned and covered my face. “Please can we not?”
Adam shook me by the shoulders, and as much as I was annoyed and my face was likely bright red, I loved it. Because none of this was mean-spirited or to shame me. They were messing with me, yes, but also giving me a little nudge that I had work to do, and also cheering me on.
“Just lock it up at work, okay?” Bruce suggested as he and Wilder walked out right as Cookie sauntered back in.
“Got him good, sounds like,” he said, grinning his pretty boy smile.
“Oh, great, you were in on it?” I asked, knowing instantly he had been.
“I figured they were going to say something when you didn’t follow me out, so I hung by the door.”
Adam laughed softly again, then crossed his arms and widened his stance like he was settling in. “I know you said you’re hanging out and my sources tell me you’ve been seen coming and going from her place almost daily. You good?”
A sigh escaped. “Yeah, Doc. I am. ”
“Taking care of yourself?”
Knowing Adam, this likely meant a few things—everything from my head and heart to my actual body. He didn’t need all the details, but I could freely say, “Yes. We’re taking it so slow we’re hardly moving.”
In some ways, it felt like we’d taken a giant step back from where we’d been before having the conversation where we agreed to hang out and be together.
Hence the daydreaming…
“Good. Then I’m glad for you.” His brow furrowed. “Just go easy. You have a lot of love to give, and I hate to see you try with someone who won’t take it.”
I huffed a laugh like he’d made a joke, even though I felt it in my chest. “Noted.”
Adam left and Cookie and I moved, too, wandering toward the break room with empty coffee mugs in hand.
“So you seem good, but also kind of… à c?té de la plaque .” He didn’t know.
Welcome to the club.
Every minute with Liz was one I wouldn’t trade, one I couldn’t get back, and one I tried desperately not to spend thinking about how much longer I did or didn’t have with her.
“I like her. Little too much, probably, considering.” I raised a shoulder. “But you know me. I can’t just… not.” I’d accepted, to some degree anyway, that despite being someone who wanted longevity and a future with someone, I couldn’t pass up a chance to have this time with Liz, even if I knew for a fact there was no future with her.
He nodded. “I do. And of course you can’t. It’s one thing we all love about you.”
He filled his mug, then held up the carafe, and I slid mine over so he could fill it, too.
“And if it all goes down the drain, I’ll be here. And I’m certain Dorian will make you as many croissants as you can eat.” He raised a brow as though to ask whether that would be enough.
“Hey, sorry to interrupt.”
My pulse spiked. Liz.
“What? No. No interruption. Hey. You. How are?—”
“What is it?” Cookie said, ending my weird spiral of verbal vomit.
Her eyes were troubled and her posture on edge. If I hadn’t been so far down the rabbit trail of talking about my squishy feelings for her, I would’ve seen it instantly.
“It’s Evie.”
That was all she needed to say.