Knox's Little Annie

1

I bit my cheek as my leg bounced uncontrollably against the car seat.

I had been staring outside the window without blinking the entire ride.

Every inch of my body felt like it was vibrating and not even my tightly wrung hands could keep it in check.

I untucked and re-tucked my hair for the umpteenth time as we pulled into the parking lot and against the curb.

"Annie," Serena's voice called, but even as I turned my head to look at her, my eyes remained glazed over and unfocused. "I know you're nervous and...", she hesitated, "scared."

A breath left my lips as I turned my head back to look at the daunting building before me. In this moment, scared felt like a severe understatement.

Serena continued, "I know you're going to do well here. You are such a strong girl, so much stronger than I think even you know."

"I can't do it." The words left me instinctively. It wasn't just that I felt it, it's that I knew it deep down in my bones, in my soul, in every inch of my being. I wasn't ready yet. It was too soon. I haven't finished grieving yet.

"Yes. You can." Serena's words laced in finality. "I know this is a push for you but it's one I know you need. I wouldn't do it if I wasn't certain it was something you could handle."

I chanced a glance back at Serena's face. Dark black hair framed her face in a neat, slightly wavy bob. Her dark brown eyes were warm like honey and the softness in which she looked at me spoke more to me than her words. Her cherry red lips quirked into a gentle smile, a gentle plead.

We may not be related by blood but she was the closest thing to family I have ever had.

Not even 6 months since taking me in, letting me move into her home and become her legal responsibility, and she was the woman who cared about me more deeply than anyone ever before.

I was forever indebted to Serena, whether she thought about it that way or not.

"I don't think this will make me get better." I whispered. An admission from the inner workings of my mind - a place I rarely invited Serena into.

"How do you know if you are so unwilling to try?" Serena reached out and smoothed the back of my hair, her touch as gentle as her voice.

I gulped, shakily grabbing the strap of the pink backpack that laid at my feet.

I wasn't going to do this for me. Doing it for myself would not be enough to convince me to walk in there - let alone to even get out of this car.

Going in there for Serena, though? She deserved that much and so much more.

She deserved me to give this a genuine effort after all the trouble I've already put her through.

On the count of three, before I completely lost my nerve, I opened the car door and stepped out.

Swinging my bag over my shoulder, I closed the car door behind me before I could change my mind.

Serena seemed to be thinking along the same lines because before I could take another second to think about what I'd just done, she was already pulling away from the curve and driving off with a gentle wave 'goodbye. '

I blinked and then blinked again.

My mind was working overtime trying to understand what I had just done. My mouth was slightly agape, dumbfounded. The pace of my heartbeat was quickening and suddenly I was too aware of my entire being.

I dared a glance to both my left and right.

Not many people were here yet. I was grateful then that Serena had decided to drop me off extra early so that I could get my schedule squared away. Most teenagers didn't bother coming to school this early, certainly not if they didn't have to.

I dug my fingernails into both my palms, willing myself to start walking.

My eyes darted all around me now. I felt increasingly exposed by the second.

Consciously I knew that even as I walked, nobody was really looking my way.

Unconsciously, that didn't stop the rising panic I felt in the form of bile hitting the back of my throat.

Forcing it down, I willed myself to enter my new high school.

The hallway almost felt worse than outside.

Tiny walk ways crammed with lockers against the walls on each side, I started feeling slightly dizzy.

This time I kept my head down as I walked through as fast as I could.

Maybe not seeing anything but my shoes on the shiny, squeaky floor was the best way I was going to get through this.

My hands trembled by the time I reached the main office. I was almost drunk on relief once the door clicked shut behind me and I was nearly alone. The only other person being a short middle-aged woman typing away at her computer on the front desk.

I barely managed a step her way before her eyes snapped to me.

"Can I help you, dear?" The woman's cheerful voice reached me.

"Oh - I - um this is my first day and I need my -" I stuttered over myself, still a bit distressed from my walk here.

"Schedule." The lady finished my sentence for me. She smiled brightly and started typing away on her computer before speaking again, "Your name, hun?"

"Annie-"

"Thatcher," She cut me off once more. "Goodness me, let's see where I put this thing. Aha here it is." She beamed.

I could only stare at her with wide-eyes as she printed out my schedule. How she had so much energy this early in the morning was beyond me, even if it did work to make me feel slightly more at ease than I was in the hallway.

"Okay, here you go. Theres even a map on the back for you.

Let me know if you have any more questions, dear.

I am always here and happy to help." She sent me another blinding smile, only working to make me believe her words that much more, before turning her attention back to the computer before her.

I hesitated.

Our interaction had been far quicker than I had anticipated.

I hadn't mentally prepared myself to go back out into that hallway so soon.

Especially now that more students had certainly shown up in the time I'd been in here.

I looked around the office in a slight panic, my cheeks surely turning the ugliest shade of red like they always did.

My hands clutched the paper schedule so tight, I was almost positive that I ripped it some.

"Hun?" The woman's voice drew me back to her instantly. "Did you need something else?" She asked, looking far more concerned now than she had before. I must have looked just as bad as I was starting to feel, only managing to make me feel that much worse.

I tried to clear my dry throat, searching for my voice.

"I don't know if I'll be able to find my classes.

" I spoke slightly above a whisper. It was a pathetic excuse considering the map that I currently held in my hands, the map that I hadn't even spared a look at, but it was the best my muddled mind could come up with. It wasn't as if I was lying either.

"It is quite confusing isn't it?" She said, laughing slightly to herself before continuing, "I keep telling Principle Hendrick that it needs to be redone - simplified - but he doesn't have it high on his list of priorities at the moment.

Completely understandable, of course. It takes a lot to make this school run smoothly.

" She chuckled again and then sighed. "Anyways, what can we do about this?

" She hummed, tapping her pen against the counter as she frowned in thought.

I hadn't noticed the door opened again until the woman's eyes focused on something behind me. I was about to turn around when I felt a large presence brush past me. A waft of cool air from the hallway passing with the stranger.

"Oh Knox!" The woman called enthusiastically. "The timing is simply perfect, really. Annie here is new and needs someone to help her find her way around." The woman beamed.

"I'm not on the welcoming committee." He answered back blandly. His voice was gritty as if it was the first time he had used it all morning.

At this the woman became more serious than I had ever seen her yet this morning, "I'm sure our dear Principle Hendrick would be a lot easier on your whole situation with Liam if you did this favor."

I stood, staring at the interaction with wide eyes and a pounding heart.

My breathing only turned more shallow when the boy turned his head, briefly making eye contact with me.

The gnawing feeling that burned deep in my chest was back with a vengeance.

Whoever this boy was, he was stacked. Not that he had to be in order to strike fear in me.

Just the look in his dark brown eyes was enough to have me wanting to shrink into my skin.

Turning his back on me again, I could only further analyze his stature.

He was almost a whole foot taller than me and was certainly double my width.

His arms bulged and a tattoo that was barely visible from underneath the sleeve of his shirt snaked up his arm and out of sight.

He stepped forward, leaning against the counter now. Crossing his arms, his back flexed making me gulp.

"If I do this favor, all is forgiven?" He asked, his voice deepening in seriousness. It raised the hair on my arms, ticking me uncomfortably.

"I will see what I can do, Knox, but it would undoubtably help." She spoke pointedly.

The whole conversation had become unnerving. Whatever this boy, Knox, had done to get into this kind of trouble was enough to alarm me even further.

A tense moment of silence passed - or maybe it was only tense for me - before he answered.

"Yeah, alright." He grumbled, turning back around to face me.

I found myself struggling to breath yet again. I snapped the hair tie on my wrist, trying to wake myself up from whatever horrible nightmare I had landed myself in. It wasn't working, only making the skin of my wrist bright red.

"R-really, I don't need any help." I barely forced the words out of my mouth, coming out strained and hoarse.

Knox rolled his eyes, "You don't have to look like you've been sentenced to death." He approached me, pulling my schedule from between my fingers. My face reddened again upon seeing the crumpled mess it had become after being the main outlet of my stress.

"C'mon. Stay close. Bit of a free for all out there." Knox continued looking down at my schedule before stuffing it in his pocket and reaching out to open the office door.

He had not been exaggerating. Students flooded the hall and lined the walls in each direction. The shouts and loud talking was jarring in comparison to the quiet office I was being forced to leave.

I hadn't realized I was stuck in the door, unable to step out until I heard Knox directly behind me, making me jump.

"I know. Fuckin' animals, huh?" He meant it as a joke and maybe to anyone else it would have been, but the thought of being amongst said animals was entirely too terrifying.

I tried fighting back the tears that were now threatening to spill over and down my cheeks.

I could feel Knox staring down at me, but I couldn't find myself to be too concerned over whatever he was thinking in that moment.

He could judge me all he wanted, I had already come this far and that was accomplishment enough for me.

His fingers grazed the small of my back as if to start leading me forward. The simple action made me gasp and jump away from his touch, taken aback at jolt of electricity that raced through me.

Knox furrowed his brows and tried to mask his confusion quickly. "Just hold onto my backpack behind me. People usually stay out of my way." He recovered, his voice much softer than before.

I gazed up at him apprehensively but stiffly nodded my head nonetheless. Holding on to his backpack seemed a far better deal than having his hand on the small of my back. I took hold of one of the loose bottom parts of his backpack strap with both my hands.

Swiftly, Knox started walking with me on his heel.

Just like he said, people cleared out from in front of him, making just enough room for us to make our way through unscathed.

I probably shouldn't be as proud for making it through something as simple as a school hallway as I was but a win is a win.

Finally, he stopped outside was I could only assume would be my first class. He led me off to the side of the door, still away from anybody passing by.

"This is your first class," he nodded his head in the direction of the door, "don't leave until I come get you. It gets worse after first. Don't even leave your seat, Annie. I'll come get you." Knox emphasized.

I nodded my head, barely uttering a soft, "Okay", before heading inside.