12
Wendy's words imbedded themselves in my mind just like I knew she wanted them to. Only instead of making me rethink my friendship with Knox, her words only made me ache to be around him that much more.
All throughout the next school day I felt an even greater pull to be around Knox than normal.
I found my eyes lingering longer every time I glanced his way. I unconsciously scooted my desk chair closer to him in every class. And every time we walked through the hallways, I reached for his hand instead of the seam of his shirt.
Knox didn't seem to mind, though. At least not from what I could tell. I suppose if my extra clinginess was bothering him, he could have shaken me off at any point.
Even at lunch time I sat with only a breath between us. The hair on my arms standing up with acute awareness of our close proximity.
Pulling out my ham sandwich, I let my eyes take in Knox's appearance for the hundredth time today. He wore a black graphic tee that showed off just the bottom of the tattoo I had yet to fully see. The swirls of black ink twirling up his bicep and out of sight peaked my curiosity.
Trailing my eyes up to his face, I tilted my head slightly at the focused look on his face. He was staring intently at something on his phone, his gaze unmoving.
My eyes narrowed and I couldn't help the frown that started to grow. Irritation bubbled at the back of my throat. I wanted his attention, I just didn't know how to get it. Shifting where I sat, I let out a small puff of frustration before taking another bite of my sandwich.
In an instant Knox wound an arm around my waist, drawing me flush against his side. I instinctively loosed a small squeak of surprise at the contact.
"What's got my girl in such a huffy puffy mood, hm?" He asked, not breaking his gaze from his phone screen. His was voice teasing and low so only I could hear him. Not that it mattered as Liam and Sean had long since left to get their lunch from the cafeteria.
I forced myself to swallow my bite. My eyes were wide as I gazed up at his face without answering. My silence had his head turning to look at me. His eyes glinted darkly as he took me in. My heart was beating rapidly - so hard I thought it would burst from me at any second.
His fingers flexed as they dug softly into my side. His palm effectively warming my skin beneath. I began to flush under his stare, squirming slightly in his hold.
Knox leaned down, his teeth nipping at my ear as he pulled me in closer. "Such at brat." He whispered, his breath tickling my neck as he spoke. "Tell me what's got my pouty girl in such a bad mood so I can fix it."
I gulped, my face and body now burning. A shudder escaped me as he pressed a ghost of a kiss beneath my ear. I licked my lips, almost throwing myself back against him as he started to pull away. Playfully pinching my side, his expectant look prompted me to speak.
"I-I-" I stuttered, struggling to come up with a less embarrassing explanation for my attitude. Even if I mainly just wanted his sole attention back on me, it would be too mortifying to say just that.
His thumb started to draw soft, lazy circles on my hip - only muddling my mind further. The smile that tugged at his lips told me that he knew exactly what he was doing.
"Y-you're not eating anything." I offered up pathetically.
"I'm not hungry." The corner of his lip twitched, amusement growing in his eyes.
"Bu-but you can't not eat." I all but whined, sounding increasingly pathetic to even my own ears.
"What're you suggesting I have?" He asked lowly, an almost predatory look flashing across his face. The nature of his suggestion going right over my head as I reached for the untouched half of my sandwich and pushed it over in front of him.
"I'm not eating your lunch, Annie." Knox frowned.
"Why not? It's really good, I promise." I pouted slightly.
"It's for you, not me." He furrowed his brows about to push it back to me before my hand met his to stop the movement.
"Please..." I practically begged, jutting out my bottom lip as I pouted.
"Fine." He grumbled before taking a bite.
I beamed, happy to have not only won but also to have gotten out of my original predicament successfully. I finished off my half of the sandwich, looking around the field with mild interest before Knox's voice met my ears again.
"Brat." He teasingly grumbled under his breath, causing me to snap my head to look at him once again.
My mouth opened and closed, gaping at his accusation.
"No?" He asked, leaning back down to whisper in my ear. "My girl's not a whiny little brat who pouts until she gets her way?" He lightly bit down on my ear, a small strangled noise effectively escaping from the back of my throat.
I nearly whined as he pulled away. My body now feeling heavy as I was moulded into his side.
I felt sluggish and unable to focus the rest of the school day. My stomach was in knots that only tightened further every time Knox looked at me. I could hardly hold a pencil with the way my body felt so weak under his stare.
"Let me drive you home." He said as we reached the bottom of the stairs in front of the school.
I could only nod my head sleepily before he led me to his car. I was barely sat down for all of 30 seconds before my body started to sag against the car door and I nodded off.
The feeling of the car coming to a park had me all but jerking awake.
I was rubbing the sleep from my eyes with the back of my hand when the feeling of Knox's finger tips brushing my hair behind my ear tickled my skin. I loosed a sigh as I unconsciously leaned into the touch.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Annie." He said, his voice just above a whisper.
I hummed, not completely content. Even if it was a promise - one I could believe - I still didn't want him to go. His presence made me feel so warm and I wasn't ready for that feeling to stop just yet.
"Do you want to come inside?" I asked without thinking my question through completely. I'd been alone with Knox before but this was different. This was my home - my safe space. Inviting a boy in should have felt wrong but somehow it didn't.
Knox followed me up the stairs to my room.
The house was silent save for the creaking floorboards under our feet.
Serena was still at work and would be for a couple more hours.
I probably should have let her know that I was inviting my friend in with me but even now the thought failed to cross my mind.
My whole body felt stiff - unnatural. It wasn't a testament to Knox in the slightest. I still had the same warm, safe feeling as I always did with him but the idea having any boy, even Knox, in my room was terrifying.
I stepped aside to let Knox walk in first, let him take in my room by himself.
I hesitated, lingering at the door. Often I left it closed when I was in my room but even now, when I knew I could trust Knox more than any other boy, I couldn't bring myself to shut it.
Just the idea of shutting myself off in here with just him had my lungs swelling uncomfortably and my palms sweating uncontrollably.
Standing in the middle of my room, Know turned around to look at me. The softness of his face and the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth was just the little encouragement I needed to step out of the door way and into my room.
I set my backpack down next to my desk as Knox's eyes danced around my room. Walking to my bookshelf, he let his fingers brush against the spines of my books and stopped just as one caught his attention.
My fingers twitched when he pulled it out and looked at the cover of my diary.
Wendy had recommended I start one after everything first happened.
Since I wasn't as forthcoming in talking to her, she wanted me to at least process my thoughts somehow.
So I did it for weeks, arguably the most dark weeks of my life.
Even all these months later, the thought of rereading those thoughts had me unnerved which is why I never planned to pick it up again.
I could see Knox hesitate as he stared at the cover. My heart raced, my mind whirling as I wanted nothing more in this moment than to know what he was thinking as he stared at it.
And then he put it back.
I forced myself to swallow, my mouth turning completely dry. I push down the part of me that wanted him the ask to read it - the part of me that wanted him to want to understand me.
"Cute." Knox said, startling me. He flashed me a teasing grin as he gestured to the teddy bear that laid on my pillows. I blanched, turning away.
"I'm nervous." I blurted. The words that had been lodged uncomfortably in my throat since we stepped into the house, now loose and turned into word vomit.
Knox furrowed his brows, his face turning serious.
"Because of me?" He asked.
I gulped, nodding my head slightly. Several moments of silence slipped between us as he surveyed me.
"Do you want me to go?" His body twitched in the direction of the door.
"No." I almost gasped, putting my hands up as if to stop him. "No, I just - I just am not used to..." I trailed off, not sure how to describe our situation.
Knox seemed to understand as he took in my words.
"What do you normally do when you get nervous like this?"
I twisted my hands in front of myself, thinking.
"I paint." I admitted.
"Then, let's paint."