36
My leg bounced in rhythm with the clock ticking on the beige colored wall. The hair on the back of my neck suddenly felt like too much. My hands shot up, gathering my hair into a claw clip bun.
I don't know how many days had passed since Knox had come to save me. Each day melted into the next, blurring into nothing.
I hadn't been back to school, Serena went in person to form a plan with the principal so I could stay online for a while. I didn't have the energy to be concerned about whether this would affect my graduation.
Knox stayed with me most days. We didn't talk much, I couldn't find any words half the time. He didn't mind though - he never minded.
I hadn't even realized I fisted my hand until Knox's fingers brushed against the back of knuckles. I startled, taking my eyes off the clock.
I was seeing a new therapist today. Serena had assured me she wouldn't be like Wendy but my stomach was in knots regardless.
"It's okay, baby. I'll be right here," Knox whispered, kissing my forehead.
I led out a shuddered breath, letting him take my hand into his.
"Will you come in with me," I asked, unable to stomach the thought of facing this alone.
"Of course, love," Knox nodded, a small smile gracing his face as he pulled away.
I swallowed, my heart pounding against my chest. I didn't have anymore time to calm myself down before the door across from us opened.
A young girl of about 10 stepped out, clutching a stuffed pink bunny to her chest. Her mother stood up from her chair on the other side of the room, smiling broadly as the girl skipped up to her.
Unconsciously I clutched Knox's hand even tighter, squeezing his fingers between mine as a middle-aged woman peaked her head out.
"Annie," she called, her voice smooth like honey.
Her eyes met mine and she smiled softly. Waving her hand, she gestured for me to come in.
Knox stood up first, still holding my hand as I tried to steady myself. My legs felt weak and my entire body felt almost numb.
"Hi," Knox smiled at the woman as he led me up to her.
She stepped aside for us to pass in before closing the door with a soft click behind us.
"So nice to meet you, Annie," she smiled before looking at Knox, "and who might you be?"
"Knox. I'm Annie's boyfriend, we were hoping it'd be okay if I came in with her," Knox replied as we took a seat on the plush couch across from a single leather chair.
"Of course. It's a pleasure. You both can call me Terri," she nodded as she took her seat with a small sigh.
Picking up a notebook from the little table between us, Terri leaned back comfortably as she took us in.
I took the moment of quiet to look around the room. It was a lot warmer than Wendy's and the couch was significantly more comfortable. There was a lot more decor that gave the room a more home-y feel too.
Letting out a breath, I already felt more at ease here than I ever did with Wendy. Whether that was because of the room or because of Knox, I had no idea.
"How are you feeling today, Annie?" Terri asked, taking a sip out of her steaming mug. I assumed it was some kind of coffee or tea.
My body tensed slightly in awareness at the direct question. My spine was rigid, making me sit straight up.
"I-I'm feeling fine," I forced out, knowing Terri would believe that as much as I did - which was not at all.
Knox wound his arm around my back, softly stroking my side in comfort as he leaned back into the couch. I was tempted to lean back with him but I couldn't get my body to move. I was stuck feeling too hyper-aware.
Terri nodded at my lie, letting me get away with it.
"Since this is our first session, I just want to focus on getting comfortable with each other. Serena and your social worker both filled me in on everything I need to know so I won't make you talk about anything that you're not ready to," Terri assured me, setting her mug down on the table.
I nodded, biting my lip. As uncomfortable as I felt knowing that everyone in this room knew all of my deep problems, I did feel a bit of relief that I wouldn't have to recount anything before I wanted to.
I guess I should feel grateful for that since Wendy would've made me spit everything out the second I stepped foot in her office.
"Knox, why don't you tell me a bit about Annie. Anything you think I should know about her," Terri asked, her eyes dancing between us.
My eyes widened, not expecting her to have brought Knox into the general discussion. I hope he didn't mind, I didn't want him to feel like I was already asking too much of him by being here and then now answering questions.
"Annie is the sweetest person I know. She's kind, thoughtful, self-less. Underneath her shy shell she's witty and playful. I could tell Annie anything and not worry for a second about whether she'd judge me," Knox replied a moment later without missing a beat.
I turned to look at him as he spoke, his words sending warm tingles through my body. I didn't know he thought so kindly about me. I mean I knew he loved me but I never really knew why.
I melted back into his side, feeling a blush creeping up my face.
"And how do you feel about Knox, Annie?" Terri asked, her face bright and smile warm.
Fiddling with the end of Knox's shirt, I didn't hesitate to answer, "Knox is my best friend. He's calm and warm and so caring. He's my rock and the only person besides Serena that I trust with my whole heart."
Knox winked down at me with a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. There was so much more I could say about him, so much more that I knew I could never fully express with just words. Knox had quickly become my everything and I would do anything to stay by his side for as long as I could.
I looked down, swallowing thickly as I recalled how Wendy felt about the way I talked about Knox.
"I - um," I paused, beyond nervous for the possible answer Terri could give me. "Do you think I'm too dependent or - um - attached to Knox?" I asked, nearly wanting to cry from the memory of that session with Wendy.
I looked up with glossy eyes to see Terri pinch her brows in thought.
"Being attached to someone isn't always a bad thing," Terri replied, sighing as she continued pondering my question, "I think it's clear that Knox is really good for you.
Nothing about the way you feel for each other feels unhealthy in any way.
In fact, I think its rare that you find someone so perfect for your situation, Annie. I wouldn't worry about it."
I nodded, relief washing over me as my tears subsided.
"Looks like you can't get rid of me that easy," Knox teased, rubbing my side with a small wink.