40
The first snow of the winter was always my favorite. As much as I loved summer's warmth and fall's encompassing breeze, I never felt as much joy as I did when waking up to the soft snow dusting everything it could reach.
It felt especially sweet knowing I wouldn't have the pressure of attending school looming over me every waking moment.
Although Serena and my new therapist, Terri, have both been very understanding of my hesitation to try to get back into what had been in the process of becoming my new normal, I still felt bad for not moving as quickly as I knew they secretly hoped.
I have been pushing myself to go out more with Knox, though.
He was really the only person who had been able to convince me to go anywhere the past month and a half.
Something about having him at my side just made the outside world feel less scary. I knew he secretly loved that he was the only one able to get me out of my house too. I think deep down he needs me as much as I need him.
Now with winter break officially here, Knox had been coming over to my house every day. It was obviously the only thing I had to look forward to when waking up each day.
Today was no different, of course.
I woke up and wasted no time trying to pull myself together to a more presentable level before Knox arrived.
Since his arrival was not only always welcome but, now at this point, entirely expected, Knox didn't bother with knocking anymore.
So when I heard his heavy steps making their way to my room, the butterflies in my stomach became uncontrollable - just like they always did.
"Baby," he greeted in his same sleepy mumble as always.
I beamed as he pulled me into a hug, leaving a soft kiss on the top of my head.
"It snowed last night," I continued to smile, feeling overwhelmed with joy at how perfect this day already felt.
"Mhm," he hummed, rubbing sleep from his eyes as he sprawled out on my bed.
He wasn't much of a morning person. It had taken me a little while to realize just how bad it could be sometimes since it would take him so long to warm up. However, that only made me feel all the more special since Knox was so willing to sacrifice some of his sleep to see me as early as possible.
That's why I didn't bat at eye at how uninterested his behavior may have been in this moment. It wasn't truly reflective of how he felt about me at all.
"Tomorrow's Serena's birthday," I said, bringing the volume of my voice down to barely above a whisper.
I doubted Serena was upstairs any longer since she too liked to get an early start to her day, but I couldn't risk her hearing me regardless.
"Will you help me bake her a cake," I asked, moving to sit criss crossed next to his nearly sleeping form.
"Of course, baby," Knox mumbled, giving a slight nod of his head in confirmation.
I was grateful his eyes were closed so he couldn't see the deep flush that had risen on my cheeks. No matter how many times he would call me any term of endearment, I couldn't help the giddy feeling that rose within me.
A few hours later, when Knox had full woken up from his morning nap and all semblance of tiredness was wiped away, we made our way down into the kitchen.
It was lucky that even though Serena had been taking more time off over the break to spend some of it with me, she still worked a few hours here and there.
Today, I just hoped there would be enough time to get the cake fully baked and decorated.
Although I loved to bake and have spent a lot of time in the kitchen practicing how to make many different and delicious desserts, I wasn't used to having another person helping me.
I thought this would make the whole process easier but it seemed that Knox wasn't as developed in his abilities as I thought he might have been.
His ego and confidence would never let him admit that though.
"Knox..." I covered my mouth as an attempt to stifle the giggle that threatened to make its way out at the sight of him.
"The eggs won't crack right and the shells keep dropping pieces in," Knox grumbled, his hands completely covered in yolk as he dug his hands through the bowl in attempt to collect all the dropped shells.
This time I did giggle a little. I had been so focused on grabbing everything we needed and setting up the oven that I had been paying little attention to how the actual baking process was going.
"I'd watch your mouth unless you want to be covered in egg yolk too," Knox threatened through another displeased grumble.
I nearly gasped as I fought to maintain my remaining laughter and I would have been able to too if Knox didn't send me the most ridiculously dramatic side-eye.
Unable to help myself, I accidentally let a snort slip through only to slap my hand to my mouth at the sound.
I watched with bated breath as Knox's hands stilled in the bowl before he whipped around.
Squealing at his fast movement, I didn't have more than a single second to try to get away before his hands took me by the waist.
"Knox," I laughed, pushing at his chest in a lame attempt to get away.
His yolk-covered hands smeared across my cheeks and across the sliver of my back where his hands had slipped beneath my shirt as he held me.
"It's cold," I squealed again, squirming as he moved his hand down from my cheek only to wrap around my throat in a gentle yet firm hold.
Instantly my squirming halted, almost embarrassingly not from fear but from pure desire as I refocused my attention on the hungry look that filled his eyes.
"I'll give you a kiss if you crack the rest of the eggs," he bargained, his mouth now a whisper away from my eager and waiting lips.
He could have asked for anything in this moment and I had no doubt that I would give in. The way his fingers flexed over my throat and his hold on my waist tightened to pull me in closer, there was no reason on earth why I would ever have turned his request down.
I went to nod my head but Knox's hold held me firmly in place, forcing my lips to part in a breathless acceptance of his deal.
"Okay," I whispered as his lips brushed against mine in a soft tease.
Finally, he appeased me with the intense hunger that his eyes had promised. Melting into in lips, I sighed in complete content.
I don't think I could ever get enough of him.