Chapter Nine #2
“The park? Do you think he’s on a date?”
Knox sighed. “I’m going to check it out.”
“I’m coming with you.”
“No,” Knox said. “You’re not going to leave this house, do you understand me?”
“What? You’re not serious.”
“Babe, that threat to me is still out there. No one knows I’m here, and no one is going to come for you. I’m not going to risk your life. I’m going to deal with our friend, and I’ll bring him back.” He pressed a kiss to her lips. “Until then, you stay here, you got it?”
She looked like she wanted to argue.
“I get that you want to help and I want you to help as well, but the only way you’re going to be able to help me is to stay here.”
She took a deep breath and nodded. He knew there was so much more she wanted to say to him and to argue, but she held it all in.
“You’re right. Go get him and bring him back. I’ll make some dinner.”
“Thank you.” He kissed her and quickly pulled on some clothes. Leaving Marshal’s home, he took one of his fancy cars and pulled out of the driveway, being sure to close the gate as he left.
Marshal still hadn’t left his spot, and Knox didn’t like the feeling that twisted in his gut that something was wrong. He appreciated Marshal giving them some space, but he didn’t want anything to happen to the man.
Pushing his foot to the gas, he got to the park in record time. Knox held his cell phone, and followed the direction that would lead him to Marshal. He didn’t know what he was going to find. Someone holding Marshal for ransom. Marshal in danger.
Instead, he found the other man sitting on the bench, with his hands on his lap, looking so damn ... lost. This was not what he expected.
He looked around, then toward Marshal, to make sure he was looking at the right person. Yep, it was Marshal, staring at the ground right in front of him.
Knox slowly approached him. This wouldn’t be the first time someone had planted a bomb or done some dodgy shit to take him out of the game.
“You all right?” Knox asked.
Marshal looked up. “What are you doing here?”
“It’s nearly nine and you rarely leave the house. Ava told me.”
“Wow, you know I’ve had three wives and a whole house full of staff, and you know, no one knew my whereabouts.” Marshal sighed.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
“There wasn’t a meeting with the lawyer today, was there?”
“Fuck, no. That guy pisses me off. He takes my money, smiles at me as if he’s doing a damn fine job, and will get paid if he does a good job or a bad one. Fucking lawyers.”
“Is that seat taken?” Knox asked, and pointed to the space right beside him.
“No, it hasn’t been taken all day, and trust me, I’ve watched a lot of people come and go—so many people—and not a single person stopped and said hello to me. Some people sat on the end of the bench and kept talking. Even dogs ignored me. Fucking dogs, and aren’t they supposed to want attention?”
“Some dogs love attention, but if they’re being walked or trained, that is a whole different ball game. Besides, are we talking about dogs with owners?” Knox asked.
“Don’t try to make me feel better. There is no difference. I’m unlovable.”
This was not a conversation he wanted to have. Why the fuck did this end up with him? He let Ava stay home, while he had to come and talk with this. It made no fucking sense.
“You’re not unlovable.”
He laughed, and it was a forced sound. “You could have fooled me. My parents couldn’t stand to be around me. They had nannies, fucking nannies to take care of me. All they wanted was for me to grow up, get my shit together, and I tried to do that. You know what it got me?”
Knox was silent.
“No parents. They died on the way to another fucking party. Parties they couldn’t even afford to attend, and yet they were there.” He shook his head. “The family business was in the fucking toilet. So much debt, and it was left to me to figure shit out. I barely knew what I was doing.”
“But you did it.”
“That is beside the point. Parents shouldn’t fuck things up this way. Parents should get their shit together.”
Knox turned to look at Marshal. “You know, parents aren’t fucking superheroes.
They’re not great humans with a sudden understanding of the universe.
They’re people, like you and me. They don’t have some magical wand that tells them the secrets to the universe.
I bet most people who end up becoming parents don’t know what the fuck they are doing.
They are taking care of themselves, and then boom, they’re a mother or father, and need to know how to keep a human alive, how to nurture it.
Parents are still people, Marshal. People who are getting through life the best they can, constantly being told what they’re doing is wrong, or what happened when you were a kid is wrong.
That this should happen, and that should happen.
It is constantly changing, but you know what doesn’t change? ”
“What?”
“People are still fucking people. You can have the most stable, the most in control, and still, it’s a job that in all honesty, I don’t think anyone has the right to say if it’s good or bad.”
Knox ran fingers through his hair.
“Why do I feel this is getting a little more personal?” Marshal asked.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I left you and Ava alone, and we both know you’ve been going at it like rabbits.
The way you two look at each other, there is no way you’re not fucking.
Anyway, sex leads to babies, and well, your whole career is killing people or taking care of them.
Are you shitting yourself at the prospect of becoming a dad? ”
Knox laughed, but then he looked toward Marshal, before glancing across the park into the darkness.
“I don’t even know if she’s pregnant yet. This could all be bullshit. You know that.”
“Yeah, I know that and you know that, but that doesn’t stop the panic, does it?” Marshal asked. “There is a chance you could be a father. The odds are like one in however many sperm you release.”
“Let’s not talk about sperm.”
“I hear it’s time to talk about it,” Marshal said. “You’re freaking out about being a dad, and I’m freaking out about being alone, and yeah, I wanted to blame my parents for not being there, because it’s easy.” He sighed.
“There are good and bad people in this world, Marshal. It’s up to you to decide which you want to be.”
“Just like it will be up to you what kind of dad you want to be. There, or not there.”
Knox laughed. “Does it matter? If I’m there, I could be over-fucking-bearing. If I’m not there, I’m fucking absent. Shit, what the fuck am I turning into?”
“A man that cares. Does this mean you’re going to make an honest woman out of Ava, and marry her? If so, can I please organize the wedding?”
He looked at Marshal, and he couldn’t believe that this man, a client, had actually become his best friend.
“Sure,” Knox said. “Now, are you coming home, or staying here with your pity party?”
“I’m going home.”