2. Gideon
2
GIDEON
M y assistant tries to discreetly stretch on the sofa beside me, but it’s useless trying to be subtle.
There’s no world in which we both exist, where I don’t notice Rowan Lawson.
My usually efficient, opinionated and scarily organized right hand is distracted, forgetful and almost…
moody.
He’s been quieter than usual the last couple of weeks, and it’s worrying me.
Rowan may not be as expressive as others, his face a placid calm, but I’ve seen the storm that rages beneath the surface, the carefully contained chaos.
Fuck, my cock twitches thinking about the faces he made that night.
The only night he’s ever let his walls down.
I may have been the one buried inside him, but he was in control.
Ripping out my heart with his bare hands.
He shifts again, and a delicious scent of coconut and jasmine washes over us.
I long to bury my nose against his scent gland, but he’s made it clear he isn’t ready to let me in yet.
I thought after the gala, when we’d fucked like bunnies, that was the start of something that had been simmering away for a long time.
When he acted like it never happened and drew his line in the sand, I told myself it wasn’t over.
He just needed time.
Rowan likes order.
With his cute little bowtie, his big brown eyes and wire-framed glasses, he likes everything in its place.
I am his boss.
That makes sense to him.
Anything more than that throws off the balance.
I can be patient.
For him.
It aggravated my grandfather to no end that I’d refused every beautiful omega he threw in my path, but that was only because I’d already knew that Rowan was it for me.
He was mine.
My Mate.
Today we were preparing case files for a new business acquisition, which I had to present to the board at the end of the week.
It wasn’t a hard task, but it was a little dry.
“Is everything alright?” I ask, careful to keep my voice as neutral as I can.
“You seem a little distracted today.”
My gaze moves over his faintly flushed cheeks, wide eyes and pink lips.
His golden hair is ruffled.
He’s been running his hand through it as he’s been reading and his bow tie is loose.
“I—I am tendering my resignation.” He swallows anxiously, before turning his whole body towards me.
“But please don't worry. I intend to remain here until my replacement is fully trained.”
I blink.
Then I blink again. “What? What are you talking about?”
“Sir, I’m pregnant.” His hand goes through his hair again, as I look him over.
Had I noticed that his normally slim figure was starting to look a little more rounded and that he’s been wearing baggy shirts and jumpers…yes. But I just assumed he was finally taking the time to eat properly. Does his skin look all glowing and supple? Yes. But he always looks good. Did I wonder why he was snacking on boiled eggs dipped in strawberry milkshake in the office? Also, yes.
Rowan continues, avoiding my gaze as his other hand lands protectively on his belly. His rounded belly. “And I’ve decided that I’ll need to take a career break while I have my baby.”
There’s silence as we both sit and say nothing.
He was supposed to be mine…I thought he was mine. My alpha nature had been so sure of it. Who was the other parent? Was that why he’d run away after our night together? Had he been seeing someone else? Was I really nothing more than a mistake?
“Pregnant.”
The word is whispered as he gets to his feet and begins pacing back and forth in front of my bookshelves. It’s his classic move when he’s stressed and trying to work out how to handle a situation.
Was telling me upsetting him? I didn’t want that, even if it felt like my heart was being squeezed, bursting open like an over ripened tomato.
“Right, well. Congratulations.” Faking a smile, I slap my hands on my legs like I’m happy for him and he hasn’t just torn out the bottom of my world. What was I going to do without Rowan? He was supposed to be mine. Mate. “I didn’t realize you were dating anyone.”
The soft pink of his cheeks deepens, along with the tips of his ears. Rowan clears his throat awkwardly. “I’m not.”
What? He was a single parent? What had happened to his alpha?
“Who’s the father? Is he going to step up and support you?” I tug at my tie, pulling it loose as I get to my feet. “Is that why you have to quit? We have a generous maternity package here. You can just return when you’re ready.”
“Calm down, Sir.” His soft voice is firm.
I’m spiraling. He knows I’m spiraling.
Of course he does. He’s my assistant, the person who’s been by my side for the last two years. He knows me almost better than I know myself.
“Gideon,” I sigh. When he calls me Sir, it’s him drawing those lines between us, gouging them deeper into the sand. I hate it. “Call me Gideon.”
He blushes, looking down at his feet. “Gideon. I know this is a lot to process, but I promise that my leaving will not have a negative impact on the business.”
“Negative impact. Business. Right.” The little idiot thinks I’m worried about the business.
“My personal life will not affect my work.” Rowan grins, as if he’s not just delivered the worst news, but I can read the hesitation behind his words. “You’ll see.”
Almost three weeks later, everything has changed. There’s a small beta man with beady eyes sharing Rowan’s desk outside my office. He smiles when I arrive at the office in the morning, offers me my coffee and runs through what I have booked in for the day. The problem is, he’s not Rowan.
And his coffee tastes like shit.
Rowan tells me it’s in my head, but what does he know? He can’t drink the coffee because of the baby.
Baby.
It seems like his belly has popped out further in the last couple of weeks, either that or he’s just stopped trying to hide his condition. Today he’s forgone his usual bow tie and shirt for a pale blue button up blouse that cinches in just above his belly with a narrow tie belt. It’s paired with what looks a little like yoga pants. The entire outfit is adorable, and the urge to grab him and coddle him to my chest is something I struggle with daily. Especially now that his scent is growing stronger, sweeter, making my mouth water every time we’re in the same room. There are undertones of something familiar, but it’s not strong enough to pick out yet.
There’s a knock on my door before Rowan steps inside. “I’m just about to pop out for my prenatal appointment.”
He’s wearing his coat, and his satchel is slung over one shoulder as he wraps his scarf around his neck. He looks a little tired today, with dark circles under his eyes. “I won’t be long.”
Placing my pen down and removing my glasses, I watch him carefully. “Isn’t the baby’s father going with you?”
He still hasn’t mentioned the baby’s father and I’m beginning to think there’s no alpha lover on the scene. Something about that gnaws at me, scratching away at the back of my mind. Rowan isn’t the type to have a fling. What we had was the exception. He wasn’t reckless like that.
There’s also something off about the pheromones. The scent that clings to his skin has changed. But it’s still familiar. I just can’t quite place it…
“No. It’s just me.” He swallows, blushing, the tips of his ears turning a pretty shade of pink. “The father…doesn’t know. So, it’s just me.”
“Well then, let me grab my coat.” Pushing to my feet, I quickly log out of my computer and buzz for my driver.
“What?”
“You’re not going alone, and you’re not going to get a cab during lunch. And Goddess knows I’m not letting you sit on a bus in your condition.” Pulling on my coat, I chuckle at his open-mouthed expression. Was I crossing a line? Perhaps. But this man was mine…in another life. “We’ll take my car.”
“I’m pregnant, not sick.” Rolling his eyes, I get a glimpse of the old Rowan. The sassy one who had never been afraid to give me a little attitude or bite back. That one night had taken that from me, and now, with the baby, it was like that version of him was even further away.
I’m expecting him to resist, to tell me it’s not my place, but instead he rubs his temples. “Come on then, I won’t have you making us late.”
The pregnancy must be taking its toll on him if he was letting me see this side of him. That or he wasn’t keen on public transport, either.
Feeling like I’ve won something, we leave my office and head towards the elevator. The beady-eyed beta pops up, seemingly out of nowhere, making me flinch.
“Sir, your 11:30 am appointment has arrived.” I can see the confusion on his face as I wrap my arm around Rowan’s waist and guide him into the elevator.
“I’m canceling my appointments for this afternoon.” The poor beta’s eyes widen, almost until they look like they could pop out of his head.
Sliding out his foot, he tries to stop the doors from closing. “Sir?—”
“Deal with it Harry, for fucks sake.” I hiss, nudging him back with the tip of my shoe and a stern face. “That’s what I pay you for.”
The doors close and finally I press the ground floor button, muttering under my breath, “Goddess knows it’s not for his barista skills.”
As we start moving, I can feel Rowan’s gaze on me. My arm is still around his waist, and neither of us has made any effort to break our connection.
“What? Don’t look at me like that.” I glance at him. Those big brown eyes are staring up at me, and he’s got one perfectly arched brow raised. “Right. Spit it out. I know that face.”
Clicking his tongue, Rowan crosses his arms. Hints of coconut fill the confined space with the movement. “You know, his name is Henry.”
With a gentle squeeze, I lean down to whisper, “What I know is that he scorches my coffee and it tastes like tar.”